BF sees ex all the time

>>18455731
Grow up,
if they aren't fucking don't worry about it.

You are letting your insecurities and jealousy drive your decisions. The next step you'll just say he can't have female friends.

On the other hand, if you think he is cheating on you, look into it, or confront him about it.

You sound like a crazy, overprotective cunt. Has your bf ever given you any reason not to trust him? If it bothers you so much then talk to him about it but you should grow up

depends. was it serious? how did it end? did he end it?

i still talk to three ex's but it's not something any reasonable bf would be bothered by- one is literally gay and we dated for a week when we were 15, one i cheated on when i was 16 and we didnt speak for years now we're just friends, and the last i also dated for like 5 days in highschool. it really depends on the person, their maturity level, what their relationship was like and how it ended

>>18455752
He's my first and she's his ??? gf. He talks to his other exes via text or on fb (they don't live here) and I'm totally fine with it. They had a very tumultuous relationship and broke up because "she was crazy". Also - she's trans. From what it sounds like, he was attracted to her "otherness" and kind of relished the drama until it was too much. I cannot tell you if the same situation would bother me as much if she were not trans. I suspect that it would not.

>>18455735
man it just irks me bc he's my first and the only man I've been with but he gets peeved if guys I saw briefly or had one time crushes on - never slept with them or anything, only went on innocent dates - text me or snap me. He makes disparaging comments and gets huffy when he finds out. Very annoying.

>>18455781
Ok, well it sounds like he has the same insecurity and jealousy issues you have.

You both need to deal with this, it is not healthy, it will limit the quality of your lives.

Communicate, don't retaliate

>>18455785
Okay, how would you broach the subject? I don't want to say "stop seeing your ex" but I do want to let him know that I am a little uncomfortable
with it. How would I put this in a way that isn't accusatory?

>>18455792
You make it about you, not him.

This is how this makes me feel.
Not this is how you doing this makes me feel.

>>18455792
that is too narrow of a view.

You both have the same issue here, you need to identify that and make it clear. Then discuss what it means for you and how you feel, and for him and how he feels.
Trust is important, and it sounds like you guys don't have it

>>18455752
Also- I don't mean to imply that those kinds of situations are the only ones where talking to an ex is permissible.

For example- I've known my best friend for ten years. We had sex a few times on skype over the years and for a week when I visited him last year. When I dated my ex for three years, my friend and I still spoke every day. He respected boundaries and I didn't have any desire to cross them. And yet, my boyfriend complained that I had a male friend and shared memes to his Facebook wall. It was extremely irritating considering I hadn't even met him in real life and he's my main social support. It made me resent my ex, and made me lose respect for him. Getting jealous and showing it, and then ACTING on it is probably the worst thing you can do in a relationship. If I started dating a new guy and he told me to cut off my friend, I'd tell the guy to shove off. It's a sign of insecurity and immaturity to try to control a partner's contact with the opposite sex. If something actually inappropriate is going on, you can either accept that, or leave them. Controlling who they speak to is essentially never a smart move from a strictly psychological viewpoint. It creates a power balance that you do not want to be on the wrong side of.

>>18455769
Okay, so he didn't do anything. She literally just cuts his hair. You sound insecure and paranoid.

>>18455785
>>18455799
This. But frankly I wouldn't even talk about it. It's an irrational jealousy. Be smart, don't put your emotional shit on him when he's not actually doing anything wrong. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine how irritated you would be if someone you want to marry gets huffy about you getting your hair cut by an ex who you're totally incompatible with.

>>18455843
>>18455799
Yeah that's about where I left off too. Trying to neutrally phrase my feelings made me realize that it is petty. I'll probably still be peeved but I'll continue to keep a lid on it.