BF is a chubby chaser

>>18455663
Dump him and get someone hotter, and who appreciates you being hotter.

Silicon is your best choice at this point.

>>18455663
>>18455668
What this guy said.
If he is unhappy with you being healthier than he isn't the one for you.

On the other hand, acknowledge it is important for him to express how he feels and what he likes but do not compromise your personal goals and health for his fetish. Make that clear to him, if he isn't ok with that, then he's an asshole.

>>18455668
He's cute tho.

>>18455676
He's very happy and proud of me, he has been very supportive through it and even came to the gym with me.

I'm just sad because he doesn't like me anymore. I feel selfish?

>>18455663
Make him realize that a fit woman can do stuff a chubby one can't, if you know what I mean.

>>18455686
Yeah but it's not like I can do much if he doesn't want to fuck me all that much.

>>18455663
Well, I guess talk to him about it. Find out how big of a deal it is for him, and how important your weight is to you. If it's a big deal, then figure out how to deal with it.
>>18455668
>>18455676
>dump him
That's a bit of an overreaction.
>>18455682
Saying "I'm not as attracted to you" isn't the same as saying he doesn't like you. If you guys are still being affectionate, and intimate, then it should be clear he still finds you attractive. From your post, we don't even know how much value he places on you losing weight. For all we know, him wanting a chubbier you could be as trivial as a different haircut or outfit.

>>18455717
He initiates sex less and just feels in general less attracted. He's still affectionate (cuddles me, kisses me, etc) but he used to be always all horny around me and now he's just... I don't know. Loving, but not like he can't resist me.

We went from having sex nearly every day to having sex once or twice a week.

>>18455701
Make him want to fuck you, don't expect to him take the first step.

Use sexy clothing, walk in sexy underwear while doing mundane stuff, if he is watching tv just go and cuddle with him, press your body against him, guide his hands to your sexy parts.

Attraction it's about positive reinforcement on the visual input.

>>18443433

Interesting, this thread had a similar topic. As you can see, OP in that thread is a chubby chaser in denial. He faps to a fatter girl because his current gf isn't doing it for him.

Now, I'm not saying he'd do that, but you should at least respect his honesty about liking you bigger.

Now that gives you two options. One, get laid less and be thin, or two, gain it back and get laid more.

I PROMISE you, as a chubby chaser myself, he'll be fucking you like crazy the bigger you get.

Maybe find a "compromise" weight where you're not totally fat but not skinny as a rail either.

I'll say as a chubby chaser who dated skinnys, we can make it work if we really like you or want to, but it's not going to have us as horny desu.

I always never got the problem with this, he's basically giving you a free pass to eat what you want. I can understand wanting to be fit but you can exercise and be bigger. Idk, just my perspective. Not saying you have to but if you like him I don't see the issue. Try and meet him somewhere in the middle maybe?

>>18455717

This
>>18455743
He is a chubby chaser, so what. People often have multiple fetishes, and they change and grow over time. Communication and experimenting will help you figure it out.

>>18455749
This, listen to this man and me. CC is my shit and I promise you, you will get the dicking of a lifetime if you put on just a couple of pounds on for him. nothing crazy but a 5 to 8 pound gain makes a difference. I absolutely love my girl being bigger than me. She doesnt have to be whale sized, but just something I can grab onto.

>>18455743
I do try to seduce him, but he's less responsive than he used to be.
He gets hard when I play along his fetishes, but it's different from feeling desired because I'm hot. I just feel undesirable.

>>18455663
Break up with him. He dosen't love you or care about you as a person. He sees you as a fetish and not really for who you are.

>>18455749
I didn't like being fat. It is fucking annoying and I was unhappy. I was embarrassed by my body all the time, I couldn't do fun shit, I didn't have energy, my body smelled and felt gross, I couldn't dress the way I wanted. Plus, it is unhealthy.

I'm not even that skinny right now. I'm average.

I don't know if I want to get fatter again.

>>18455766
>>18455766
He clearly loves her and they have a nice relationship, it's just she doesn't turn him on as much anymore. Is that his fault? It's not like he's forcing her to get bigger to suit his fetish, he's staying with her despite it, meaning he obviously has feelings for her.

This is the equivalent of someone gaining weight in a relationship, even though it's the opposite end of the spectrum. They get fat and their partner doesn't find them as attractive anymore, so they fuck less. Does that mean they "just see them as a fetish and not for who they really are"? No, it just means you don't get them going as much as you used to.

>>18455682
Selfish how if anyone should feel selfish it should be him for not loving you for who you are not for your looks let me tell you that's not love that's just interests don't put yourself down for his pleasure a "man" should love his partner regardless of how they look.

>>18455772
Then you'll just have to deal with getting laid less, thems the breaks my friend.

>>18455778
>He's selfish for not loving you for who you are

He does love her, he just liked her fatter. They're mutually exclusive concepts. He can't force his dick to get hard. If he's not into it as much as he was he's not into it as much as he was.

I'd really like to see your reaction to a SO gaining 400 lbs. Are you going to "love" your partner (which you equate with constant sex) the same when that happens?

>>18455766
>>18455778

What makes you think he doesn't love me?
He wasn't an asshole towards me or anything.

>>18455780
Would gaining just a few lbs help?
I don't want to get over 145 lbs/65 kg again but I guess I could live being around that weight.

>>18455787
He or she is just giving the typical spiel you hear when girls ask about their chubby chaser bfs. "He doesn't love you're just an object hurrrr"

>>18455796
This guy

>>18455763

Are basically right. every lb would make the difference.

But don't do it unless you're absolutely sure you want to, you know. If you want to get laid, or want to please your man, then yeah, that's how you do it. People in the thread may freak the fuck out, but it's what'll work. 15 lb gain would drive him crazy, promise.

>>18455777
Yes that's exactly what it means. If you think it's normal to stop having sex and make your partner feel shity about themselves over their weight then your stupid. You should love them unconditionally and only be worried about their weight if it's a real health issue like they are morbidly obese or have an eating disorder. It's not a normal to withhold sex because of weight or to be making your partner feel selfish for being healthy. This guy is a pig, and dosen't actually love her. He's just happy to have any pussy at all and is building his time in hopes he guilts her into getting bigger to his taste again. The fact that she's here questioning about it shows how manipulative he's being. You don't love someone because of their size.

>>18455807
I want to be sexy for him. It's not about getting laid, it's about being attracted to each other and being satisfied. I don't want resentments and weird shit, I don't want us to turn into a dead bedroom.
I just don't want to feel terrible/unhealthy about myself like I did when I was 180 lbs. I can live with being around 140-145 lbs. I will just have to pay extra attention to my diet I guess so I don't go too much over or under it.

>But don't do it unless you're absolutely sure you want to, you know.
I mean, 10 lbs aren't super hard to lose if things go wrong and I need to find someone else.

>>1845568
You are implying a chubby woman is a lazy woman. Not true.

>>18455787
I might have over stepped but you have to see what he likes not about you but about your body you don't love your boyfriend for his money you love him for who he is.

>>18455828
But he does love me.
He isn't less affectionate, or less kind, or less romantic. He has been super supportive of my weight loss and everything.
He just isn't as attracted to me.

>>18455798
Your an idiot

>>18455787
Because I'm married and have seen my wife gain n loss over 100lbs and it's not normal to try to make someone feel bad in a relationship or less attractive based on their size. Real love is deeper then that. It's wrong that your feeling like your letting him down just for being healthy. If his sexual preferences are so importent that him caring about you isn't enough for him to see you as sexy then he's not really caring about you as a person just as how you satisfy him

>>18455824
>>18455824
You realize you're saying it's not normal for the guy to make her feel this way even though she chose to react this way?

You completely ignored my point on weight gain and how that affects sex in the relationship, this is exactly the same thing just the opposite way.

>Sex=love

That's where you're wrong kiddo.

>Make your partner feel shitty

What the fuck are you not understanding here? Do you want to hold a gun to his dick and tell him to get hard? It's not like he's like "You're so skinny, fuck you bitch I ain't touching you!" He just isn't as into it anymore.

>Withhold sex

Again, do you want to point a gun to his dick and command it to get hard? It's not his fault he is aroused by what he's aroused by.

>This guy is a pig

Funny, usually it's when all guys want is sex they're "pigs", but because this guy isn't as interested in sex he's a pig. Very peculiar.

>He's just happy to have any pussy at all

Holy fucking projection.

>You don't love someone because of their size

Right, I bet you're dating tons of 500 lb women because you see the beauty in their personalities, right? Stop being intellectually dishonest.

>>18455839
>Your

>>18455663
Convince him to get fit too

>>18455826
>I just want to feel sexy for him. It's about being attracted to each other and being satisfied

You're a good gf.

Making a compromise like this is very admirable and he will appreciate it. You could either do it "unknowingly" and kind of surprise him, or communicate and let him know what your boundary is and how you'd be willing to go there. Either way he'll be thrilled. Be weary of him trying to push further, though. Just like you compromising your weight, he needs to compromise his taste and understand you aren't comfortable being above a certain weight.

>>18455853
He's tall and slim. Since I started to go to the gym he even got defined and he looks hot as hell.

>>18455826
This is so fucked up.
You feel like if you don't get fat you bf will resent you
That if you don't gain weight to please him you will have a "dead bedroom"

>>18455860
No, she's just saying she wants to avoid resentment. I don't think her bf will hate her for staying her weight. Get a grip.

A dead bedroom may happen, as you know happens when a partner gets too fat. But that's okay, because fatties are bad, aren't they anon? They aren't even people so who cares if their partners don't fuck them. I'm being sarcastic in case you're not picking that up.

>>18455860
I don't think he will resent me because I don't want to get obese.
I think that he will be less attracted to me, we will have less sex, I will feel uglier, I will start rejecting him and be less into it, and we will end up having resentments/dead bedroom and various shit.

>>18455855
I love this guy a whole lot.

I don't think I can handle getting fatter than that again, I was really sad when I was fat and it stopped me from hiking, playing sports, travelling and doing other stuff that makes me happy.
Maybe if I keep working out I can get properly thicc.

>>18455847
Holy crap your retarded
Sex isn't affected by weight in a healthy relationship
Sex and love are the same in a happy relationship, you love the person and you should be able to have an easy trusting sex life, not be worried and out if the person is going to stop wanting you if you don't stuff down enough calories to keep him interested.
This girl is clearly being mad to feel like she's literally not enough for him. He can get hard for whatever he wants but if he's not hard for her simply because she lost so weight then he dosen't really care about her and she should dump him and find someone she connects with no matter what her weights.
The pig, dose want sex just only with fat girls, that's why I say he's being a pig, he's putting his fetish above his gfs feelings and if it's that important to him then he's not right for her
I've been married a long time, I can honestly say I was just as attracted to my wife at 100lbs as at 200lbs. We had just as much sex. You should never make your partner feel like they arnt enough, and if you do feel that way then your with the wrong person and should find someone else

>>18455836
I don't know what to tell you then, I'm just going to say not to worry about it, I don't know what you're worried about then why ask us if you know he loves you.

>>18455856
Well there's two big paths I see.
1. You stay with him and accept that he has 'less' physical attraction for you that another man probably does. Depending on how much he values physical attraction in a relationship, there could me a risk of him either cheating for leaving you for another girl he likes.
2. You let him go and realize y'all's relationship values do not align enough to give you happiness (which I believe is what you're after). You'll likely find a new partner that appreciates you for who you are and will continue to be.

Either way, you are letting go of something. Valuing red means devaluing green, it's part of life.

>>18455866
So if I don't gain weight to please him all this shity stuff will happen I'll feel bad and the relationship will die. Ok then if that's the kind of awful place you want to he in then go for it. Go eat some chips girl have fun. Sounds super unhappy and stressful to me but hay if that's what you'd like go for it

>>18455884
I've never been worried that he doesn't love me and that wasn't even my question.

>>18455895
I don't think the relationship will die, but if he likes me less physically he'll want me less sexually and if he wants me less sexually I'll feel worse about myself and about us.
I still want to feel desirable for my boyfriend, it's nothing so awful or weird.

>>18455663
Have you two explored any other bedroom activities to spice things up? What else is he into other than chubbiness? Find something that you and your dude can enjoy.

>>18455916
Yeah, it isn't that bad. We share a lot of kinks and our sex life is pretty fun. When we have sex, it is pretty great. We just have less sex because he's less aroused by me.

But, you know - I don't always want to play along his fetishes to get a boner. I just liked it when he looked at me or hugged me and got rock hard.

>>18455905

Take it from a dude who's been with his wife for 17 years. Fucking talk about it with him, not on 4chan for fuck's sake.

>>18455928
I did talk about it already.
He said he loves me and wants to stay with me forever, and to him it doesn't matter how much I weight.

On the other hand he's objectively less attracted to me and I want to know if there is something I can do to fix that, beside going back to being severely overweight.

>>18455931
He would be the one to answer. If the answer is "put on weight" that is the answer. If it is a gamebreaker for you, put up with it forever, or find a new boyfriend.

Protip: The chemical that triggers lust in your brain wares off after about 7 years. After that, it's about the trust and understanding. Do you trust him to meet your sexual needs 10 years from now?

>>18455899
Then why are you worried and if you're not then why tell us I'm simply trying to give you advice if you don't want it then don't follow it I'm just trying to help you to avoid any sort of fallout with your boyfriend and so you don't get hurt if anything goes sour I don't mean any harm to you or to him I'm just telling you what it seems like from what your telling us and if that's not the case then give us more details I understand that you told me that he still loves you but doesn't find you attractive do you see where I'm coming from.

>>18455931
>jeopardizing your health for your bf's fetish

Granted 5'6" 180lbs isn't incredibly obese it is overweight. Think about yourself. If he can't accept you the way you are then leave him, and if you think you need him to be happy you got some searching to do. Be happy with yourself and don't depend on someone else. Being overweight is a slippery slope. Most fat people gradually get fatter and fatter as they age. It's called an unhealthy lifestyle and poor habits.

>>18455940
I just feel like I need to talk about this with someone else other than him. He keeps insisting that it is fine for him and he doesn't want me to get fatter because I've been happier, but on the other hand I struggle dealing with the fact that he doesn't want me as much.
It's not like I can go to my friend Jenny and tell her "should I get fat to get my boyfriend off?".

I feel like he has been trying to please me sexually. But I still feel a very strong physical attraction for him, and it's hard for me to accept that he doesn't feel that for me.

>>18455955
I would never get back at 180 lbs. I was so unhealthy and unhappy back then, it's really not going to happen.
I was thin all my life (120 lbs) but after a knee injury and some depression I ballooned. Food was my crutch and since I couldn't exercise it just was terrifying.
My boyfriend was such a positive force and encouraged me to get out of depression.

I think I can handle being 10-15 lbs fatter than I am now, especially if I keep working out and I just eat a little bit more than I do right now.
I do want to keep my weight in check tho and not go over 145 ever.

>>18455978
I'm the guy who's been with his wife for 17 years.

Full disclosure, our relationship cooled off around the 8 year mark. No more fucking in empty bathrooms, or foreplay during roadtrips. We still have sex, and still love each-other, but we don't have sex as often as we used to. This act is actually quite natural, as yes, the chemicals that drive your body change as you grow less affected by them. I used to get a little bit miffed, because my sex drive is still through the roof, even though, time has left her with less.

I got super-hurt this last year, and lost the use of my leg for about 10 months. The pain was so bad, I wanted to die. Face down, in a pool of tears, my wife put her hands on my head and comforted me. I looked up at her, and realized, I lost banging in public bathrooms, but I gained someone I wouldn't mind dying with.

I'm >>18455997
>>18455978
You gotta ask yourself, is he this for you? If he is, then get over yourself girl, most people would kill for your problem to be the only problem in their relationship.

>>18455997
What you said is very sweet. Made me smile.

We've been together for just 3 years but things have been very intense for both of us.
My mother had cancer, his dad was killed, one of our best friend shot himself.
We were together through it all and he is definitely the reason why I am still a somewhat functioning adult and I'm not moping around.

I love him a lot. He's amazing and I wouldn't leave him just because our sex life has cooled down. But I'm 23, I'm horny all the time, he's basically the hottest guy on earth to me and it makes me feel bad that I'm not the same for him and he's not as horny for me. Of course in a few years it will matter less, but right now I just feel gross.

>>18456023
Masturbate, my dear, or just initiate sex more on your behalf.

For me, the best looking woman on earth is not my wife, but the cosplayer Mariposa de Luna. That doesn't mean I'd rather have sex with her than my wife.

Take the bdsm test and see if he has any other fetish that you can seduce him with. Maybe you could make some changes to your looks by dying your hair or use certain types of makeup

>>18455772

Your body is yours so your preference should be priority number 1, don't get fat if you don't want to, particularly after working so hard.

Do weighted squats and get the fatty

He'll love it

>>18456061
I know his fetishes, I just wish he was into me because of the way I look and not because of what I say or do.

He doesn't like make up and he loves my face/hair as they are.

>>18455883
>Your

> if he's not hard for her simply because she lost so weight then he dosen't really care about her and she should dump him and find someone she connects with no matter what her weights.

Again, you ignore my point. I hope this very sentiment you're spewing will ring in your head when you have a SO gain 400 lbs. "I can still do it, I really love her!!!" Yeah fucking right.

>He's putting his fetish above his gfs feelings

You type like a 12 year old btw. He just said that's what he prefers. Get a grip.

>>18455952
you're a huge retard making assumptions and not reading the posts

there, I gave you some reason to get all defensive, knock yourself out

Your bodies health is more important than what he finds attractive.
On the flip side, I dated a chubby girl, who I was attracted too. She started gaining weight. I told her to lose weight, eat healthy and exercise. This caused massive arguments.
After over a year, she got fat and started losing hair and getting double chins. I wasn't attracted to her anymore, and this was one of the reasons we broke up.

Your case is the opposite. I'd encourage you to keep a healthy weight. If your bf isn't attracted to your healththy Body, he has a stupid fetish he can't rewire.
Encourage him to exercise and eat healthy with you.
Or let him dump you and move on.
Your fitter, so you can go harder in bed, and go and do anything active outdoors and not be held back getting cramps and sweating and coughing...
Life's better because you lost weight and he won't change that

Im sorry OP but your bf's mind has probably been fucked up by porn. Being attracted to average weight is not some fetish that he just doesn't have.
It's fine to be a chubby chaser but ONLY being attracted to chubbies is some /gif/-dwelling-NEET tier.
Talk to him and/or get professional help. Do not gain a single pound on purpose.

>>18455883
I think you're just projecting because you're too much of a pussy to divorce your fat wife.

I need OP pic related in my life. NEED. does she also like milkshakes, holding hands, laughing at communists, and then being pinned face down ass up and being made to cum like 5-6 times?

that's essentially what I'm looking for at this point.

how the fuck has no one suggested the obvious answer yet?

gain the weight back

>>18457103
>compromise your health in the hope of getting someone to fuck you

You guys are fucking retarded.

Have any of you considered that maybe the reduced frequency of sex and reduced libido has nothing to do with the op and is something that the op's boyfriend is going through?

That shit changes over time and can be for a multitude of reasons.

Maybe he's getting a bit older and is hitting that point where his sex drive isn't the same anymore.

Maybe there's some other shit stressing him out and his libido has taken a hit as a result.

Or... maybe the op and bf have been together long enough that things have normalized and he's not a sex-starved maniac like he was in his younger days?

>>18455663
being with someone who doesnt see you as attractive is miserable. not being initiated for sex and not being desired can kill a woman's self esteem. you'll only be happy if you have someone who appreciates you on the side or if you just break up. Take it from someone who is in a situation where their bf doesnt fuck them anymore due to lack of attraction.

>>18455749
sorry but women do not like being fat. It is incredibly selfish to be expecting a woman to live with being fat so your dick can feel good. Other people treat fat chicks like shit and it just does not feel good looking in the mirror and seeing a fatty. This is not very good advice for OP's happiness, it's only good advice for the man who stopped fucking her.

>>18457223
He literally told me that it is because he's less attracted to me because I lost weight.

>>18456521
He is attracted to me, we still have sex.
Just we went from "I can't sit next to you without having a boner" to "Heh". We fuck 1-2 times a week vs 1-2 times every day.

>>18457242
Tbf this usually happens in relationships anyway. He might just think he's being kind so you're not losing weight for the wrong reasons, for example due to a poor opinion of yourself.

Don't overthink it.

If you're looking after your health good on you. How exactly did you lose weight though?

>>18457598
> this usually happens in relationships anyway.
It wasn't happening in ours till I lost weight. We were fucking like rabbits till 6 weeks ago when I went under 140 lbs, then it just decreased till today.

>How exactly did you lose weight though?
Diet and exercise. Nothing fancy. I eat on a calorie deficit and work out every day.