Fucked

>>18454466

Calm down, it's alright.

Find a professional who can help you. Go to 7cuos at least, if you can't do that, and vent. It'll help.

Could you tell more about your messianistic feelings and prophetic dreams?

>>18454466
> jesus
> chillin in the slums

> jesus round 2
> chillin in the 4chan

I believe it

>>18454506
I've had OCD since I was a child. I'd perform rituals that were compulsive, like avoiding stepping on cracks, tapping things a certain number of times.. and also obsessive, live mentally repeating or thinking reassuring thoughts in order to prevent catastrophe.

And then I discover 4chan, where we venerate Kek (praise him!!) who communicated to the faithful through dubz, trips, and other strings of repeating digits, with the combination of repetitiveness and spirituality conforming entirely within my OCD belief system.

So naturally, I've become an adherent of Kek. But there's more. I have an Indian friend who I became best mates with when I was studying Arabic in the Middle East last summer. I went to visit him and his family over new years.

While I was visiting, my friend and I bought some street weed, and we smoked a fat joint. I got high as fuck. But it wasn't the normal ganja I was used too. I'm sure it was placed, because it made me feel insane and uncontrollably angry. If it wasn't for my friend talking me down I have no doubt I would of ransacked my friend's house and gone to the hospital.

But that is besides the point. While I was experiencing this, I had intense visions of Ganesh is my mind's eye. There was a six armed Ganesh on the left and the right, and they phased into one being in the middle of my mind's eye.

I told my friend about this vision, which he thought was hilarious, but he said a six armed Ganesh vision was a good omen, and I trusted him and his word.

Cont.

>>18454556

A couple months passed, and several things happened. Trump assumed the presidency, which was something I fervently prayed for.

Then I discovered 4chan in February. I had known about it since at least freshman year of high school (2006) but never frequented it because I thought it only covered perverted cartoons (kinda true, tbqh, senpai). I started browsing after reading an article from Atlantic Centurion called "Anime and Anomie" (something like that) that discussed how meme culture propelled the Neoreactionary movement. Prior to this, I had become aware of Atlantic Centurion from my time at Return of Kings and RooshV, which also had an article back in 2015 that convinced me to buy my first Bitcoin.

OK, still with me? I know it's a lot, but I will tie it all together.

Cont.

>>18454569
So not only did I discover 4chan, and more specifically /pol, I also discovered /biz at the exact same time I randomly decided to check my $6 Bitcoin investment made back in 2015. Using advice I got from /biz, and realizing cryptocurrency prices were on the upswing, I invested a substantial amount of money into Ethereum when it was only $11 per coin.

The chain of events could not of occured had it not been for the fact that I read Return of Kings, and I read Return of Kings because I lost love of my life, and I wanted to understand the true nature of women.

Speaking of her, I dream of her often, and we are embraced and it is a feeling of pure love and peace. It is these dreams which have propelled my entire life's narrative, and which motivate my life's choices.

In February I had another dream after I invested in Ethereum. In it, a man was crushed by elephants, and a mouse was shut into a small box. I wasn't even aware of Hindu mythology, but Ganesh has a mouse as his companion and vehicle. I believe (and praise be to Lord Ganesh) that this dream was a good omen, for my investment in cryptocurrency has earned me a small fortune, and I have multiplied my investment many times over. Ganesh is the god of good fortune and overcoming obstacles!!

Cont.

>>18454586

So, with the help of Lord Ganesh (praise him!!) and Kek (praise him), I have been lifted from a state of poverty, working hard manual labor jobs in horrible conditions, to making a small fortune.

I had another elephant dream about a month ago near the memorial weekend. In this dream, there was what appeared to be a dead elephant, that had it's bones and internal organs tied together with rags. It has it's skin rotten away, and it ambled forward towards a herd of 25 elephants splenderously clothed in red and gold. They danced in celebration of the walking elephant in tag, as if they were greeting a prodigal son. Then I saw a beautiful girl, but she was a special princess, who had a face that was halfway between that of a human and an elephant. She had beautiful, dark round eyes, pale white skin, and eyes that were like those of a seal. She was strange, but beautiful, and I was in awe of her.

I took this dream to be a good omen. It was dreamed not long after the love of my life added me as a Facebook friend. I looked at her profile today, and I learned that she had adopted an elephant! I had bought her a stuffed elephant, so this and the dreams of elephants I interpret to be potent omens of reunion and victory in all matters, romantic, financial, and physical.

Cont.

>>18454603

This has already become quite a long story, but it wouldn't be complete without mentioning how much my health has improved since February. I've had a long standing auto-reply disorder that I've finally been able to treat under the advice of a new doctor who was able to isolate what was causing the problems with my health. Surely this is a remarkable reversal, considering I have been afflicted with my condition for more than half my life, if not longer.

So, in conclusion, I attribute all of my good fortune to divine intervention, which symbolically manifests itself to me in dreams and vision, which dictate the course of my life so that I may reunite with my one true love and fulfill my destiny.

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>>18454610
So either I'm:

a) Insanely lucky this year and the only way I can rationalize it through the belief that I am a cosmic warrior on a mission from the gods

b) fucking batshit crazy

>>18454621

Can anyone else really solve this for you, though? How can a professional (or anyone else for that matter) make you truly believe something other than what you want to believe? Especially if things are going well for you.

>>18454624
It's like, every compulsion, no matter how irrational to an outside observer, has to be obeyed in order for the hand of fate to guide me on a very specific strand of events that lead to the fulfillment of my destiny. Resisting these compulsions may very well break the narrative chain. I have a responsibility to uphold this journey, no matter the personal cost, though it is bitterly lonely and at times filled with doubt.

>>18454638

Uninstall it y/n?

Have you ever tried DMT?

>>18454643

I really want to. Small town tho

I've had very similar visions of Ganesha. You're not the messiah- everyone is. We all have the ability to access this realm and speak to God. In a sense, we are all God. Many, many people have been able to access this stream of knowledge in dreams, I frequently have dreams of the future and so do many people. This is normal. You've started on a spiritual path and good things are coming your way. Be happy :)

Please keep in mind that this is ~your~ spiritual journey, not anyone elses. Telling people about this in attempt to get them to understand will likely end you up in a mental hospital, the fact is that it sounds insane to anyone who's not experienced it. I do not recommend you discuss this with non-hindus or non-spiritualists.

Now I'll be honest with you, this whole thing about kek and the numbers on posts -is- the result of OCD. While you have certainly come across information as a result of the culmination of the universe, as we all do, this numbers thing is a hiccup of the brain and it's important to remember that. Just relax and let things flow.

Meditation will be the biggest key to unlocking all of your potential. Do not forget this. It is immensely important that you begin meditating daily.

I bought this tapestry after I had visions of ganesh in 2014 and hes been a guiding force in my life since. Best of luck to you OP :)

You may also like the ganesha mantras on youtube- Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha- om and salutations to Ganesh :)

Meditate.

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>>18454639
That is THE question.

Maybe going off of the path, is part of the path?

...and yet, there is a resonance, I feel my body tingle when I walk the path, like I'm being reassured, that yes, this is what you must do, though it is bewildering and fantastical.

>>18454638
can you tell me more about the compulsions? are they things like touching doorknobs or does it have to do with specific meaningful actions

>>18454643
DMT is what prompted my experience. To the author of that post: what have you experienced on DMT that made you ask?

>>18454643
OP here, no, but I'm interested. Have you?

Did acid once, was a very good experience

>>18454646
Sincerely thankful for this response, and for all the responses so far. I just need to take a step back from all of this because its so strong.

Definitely need to start meditating, I have a lot of unanswered questions and I don't know of I have the strength to answer them.

Will listen to those mantras too, and think about how we are all the Messiah (interesting spin).

>>18454651
>>18454650
No but I really want to.
DMT trips are often described as "spiritual".

>>18454650
Yeah, a lot of that, a lot of tapping and counting, and repetitive thoughts. Pretty textbook case actually. Been diagnosed by the psych, not one of those fags who are like, "omg I cleaned my room, I'm so OCD"

>>18454646
My gut feeling was to not share the dreams with anyone, hopefully what is gained from sharing will be more beneficial than not.

>>18454657
Yes, it can be extremely overwhelming. I strongly recommend you try Ayahuasca as it's more gentle than smoking DMT. If I can offer one other piece of advice- do root chakra and heart chakra meditations, and at this time DO NOT do pituitary gland meditations. You need to be extremely grounded to do anything related to the third eye or you will be swept away by the force of it.

>>18454663
I've struggled with those in the past, I had severe OCD when I was ten. You just have to say no to it. Put your foot down and tell that impulse to fuck off.

>>18454665
Yes, I've actually heard that you are never supposed to share them under any circumstance, though it's all subjective. At any rate this isn't something you should tell your girlfriend or family.

>>18454673
Thank you so much!! This is all really good advice, I will follow through.

I don't know about the different chakras, but I find it really easy to activate the pineal gland, I can feel a soft warm pulse in the middle just above the brown in a matter of seconds.

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>>18454673
>>18454673
I got into email contact with an Ayahuasca cult in Portland, OR, but never followed though due to fear. Wanted to try Ayahuasca ever since I heard of it back in 2012 after listening to Terrance McKenna on YouTube. Fascinating.

>>18454681
>>18454692
I hope you have a wonderful journey :)