Being read to sleep

>>18451510
Bait

>>18451523
Lol. Okay.

>>18451510
How could someone not enjoy reading their wife to sleep? That is the cutest thing ever.

>>18451510
>he got upset and jealous
Say to him "well you didn't want to do it, so i found another"
From now on he will show great excellence in sex, because he will be afraid the same might happen

>>18451510
>he has been extremely unreasonable

Nope, you see it just fine. You offered to let him do this thing for you, he said no. If it helps you sleep I don't even know why he's mad.

>>18451566
Right?
But yeah - he doesn't read much, and he detests reading out loud with a certain passion.

>>18451571
Lol. He's excellent in bed. Too bad that fucking doesn't make me fall asleep.

>>18451574
It really helps me a lot.
I don't know if there's something offensive that I don't see.

>>18451592
>I don't know if there's something offensive that I don't see.
It could be something cultural, obviously you're not a native English speaker and I have no idea where your from, but from a logical standpoint since you asked him to do this for you he's got no one to be mad at but himself when you found someone else to do it for you. It's just reading to help you sleep, it's not like the guy is modelling nude for still life drawings or something.

>>18451619
I mean, I don't see it as an intimate act or as something inherently sexual.
I would understand if, I don't know, being read to sleep was part of some sexual roleplay. But he literally sits there, reads whatever book he's reading out loud of 10 minutes and then hangs up when I fall asleep. I don't see it as an extremely intimate act.
Maybe I'm weird.

>>18451510
>and reads to me till I fall asleep
bullshit, you guys are masturbating together while your husband is in the bedroom

>>18451652
Get a fucking book on tape and play it at bedside instead of your midnight sweet talk with a man not your husband. You're using this reading thing as an excuse for being on the phone with this guy nightly. Fuck your husband is an idiot.

>>18451690
I never wanted to cheat on my husband, but if I wanted to I'd cheat on him with someone much better looking than my friend.

From the beginning that I read this post I thought you had a crush on this said friend, so I wouldn't be surprised if your husband felt jealous and angry. There are certain things that don't sound right and although you had no bad intentions, you have to think of his perspective and respect some boundaries. I'm sure you'll be able to come to an understanding.

>>18451510
we're going to need some details here, miss.

what languages are we talking about?

and more importantly, what books?

I think we might need to take this to /lit/ territory...

>>18451696
>Get a fucking book on tape and play it at bedside
I tried to, obviously, but it doesn't work. I don't fall asleep to audiobooks, I don't fall asleep to women reading.
I have similar effects with some stuff I found on youtube, but there's not really a ton of material.
My friend doesn't mind doing it, I didn't see anything wrong with it.

>You're using this reading thing as an excuse for being on the phone with this guy nightly.
I talk to him at night since we began talking because of timezones.
My husband goes to bed early (10 PM) and usually I talk to my friend from 11 PM till 1 AM, when sleeping pills kick in. My husband knew it and was never bothered by that. We talk once or twice a week, not every night.

I used to call up my ex late if she was texting me (hated that crap) and recite lewd verses by Baudelaire to her in French. she loved it.

>>18451703
I don't have a crush on him, I don't understand why you think so. He's 8000 km away from me, married, much older and definitely uglier than my husband.
I do get along with him and we're good friends, that's it.

What doesn't sound right?

>>18451723
Look it's simple, he's a guy, your husband is a guy. It's okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but if your spouse gets angry it means that he's suspicious of what's going on and for a good reason. As I said before, you have to think of this from his perspective, whether or not you think he's wrong to think so. It's a basic reaction mostly anyone could have in a relationship.

>>18451708
He reads me whatever he is reading at the moment - a lot of non-fiction, tons of Southern Gothic, some Russian literature, a lot of american mid century things. Sometimes he reads me his articles if he has to review them.

>>18451721
So teenagey and edgy.

>>18451729
what is your native language?

>>18451728
I struggle to see what could be the "good reason" to be so angry because he reads me to sleep sometimes.

He was never bothered by our friendship or our late night calls, never bothered by my other male friendships and in general he's not an extremely jealous person. It was really out of his character, to be honest.

>>18451733
Doesn't matter. Some qt European country.
I don't want to derail the thread like every time I mention where I am from on /adv/.

>>18451737
Hmm well with the given information that changes the story then, has he cooled down yet? I think the best way to get some answers is to just talk about it calmly with him. Maybe you caught him at a bad time?

>>18451737
of course it matters. what is the big deal?

one of the Baltic countries I am guessing.

what else possibly qualifies as "cute" ?
>whew lad

>>18451740
I mentioned it rather casually while we were talking about my insomnia (I've been stressed lately so it got worse, I've been sleeping 4-5 hours tops even while taking sleeping pills and pulled 2 all-nighters in 3 weeks), he got visibly annoyed and then went out with his friends.

I don't know, just wanted to see if there was something inappropriate that I couldn't see. I'll talk to him obviously, but I still feel like he overreacted.

>>18451729
not quite teenagers at the time, but not far off it.

Still, Baudelaire's great. I always preferred his prose poems though, I'll say that much.

>>18451756
>I don't know, just wanted to see if there was something inappropriate that I couldn't see.
I feel that reading someone to sleep is something intimate. That's what's wrong.

>>18451799
Same feeling here.

You're being inconsiderate with him by assuming he is mad for no reason at all, try to understand his perspective by having a proper conversation, communication is the key to every sucessful relationship, don't let yours fall into a guessing game.

>>18451793
When I was in high school all the kids who wanted to be edgy and intellectual read Baudelaire poems in French. That and reading Chuck Palahniuk were basically what made you a cool smart kid when I was 15.
I guess it was a 2007 version of reading David Foster Wallace.

>>18451799
I honestly never perceived it as something intimate, especially because he's doing it over the phone. Maybe my perception is screwed, I don't know.

>>18451810
It's kind of hard to have a conversation with him right now since he stormed out and he's hanging out with his friends.
I will obviously try to understand and will talk to him, and I don't want to dismiss his feelings.
I just felt like he overreacted and wanted to see someone else's opinion on the topic. I'm going to talk to him as soon as he wants to talk to me.

>>18451510
I used to masturbate whenever I heard my uncle in the other room talking to my dad. It wasn't really him but something about his voice made me tingly and I had to fix that.

>>18451822
boipoucci?

>>18451821
OP I think this has probably been building up for a long time and your husband tried to keep a lid on but it is never ending and now gotten to the point you slip out of bed at night for a lullaby. From his point of view how does this end if ever?

>>18451825
nope a real vagina weirdo

>>18451835
any male actors or presenters you like the sound of?

>>18451815
>I honestly never perceived it as something intimate
its very intimate (even without the sex) and what any young or old lover does if there is a separation.

>>18451840
hmmm, never thought of that or had the same type of reaction but sometimes music does, not the singing but the instruments. Maybe it was because my uncle was in the next room.

>>18451822
I never felt sexually attracted to my friend.
My husband is honestly hot as fuck, I basically just masturbate to videos of him and recordings of him dirty talking.

>>18451831
He has been reading me to sleep since 2 years and half ago, it's not something new. It happens fairly rarely, maybe once or twice a month.
I sleep on the couch because I don't want to wake my husband up since I am talking on the phone. It's not rare that I sleep on the couch in general, since he's a light sleeper and on some nights I get very restless (tossing, turning, talking, etc).

You're painting it like I'm cheating emotionally on my husband and have some sort of daddy/little girl online relationship. And that's not really it.

>>18451843
I never had a lover read me to sleep. Just my grandparents and him.

>>18451847
not gay, but always thought that if I were a woman, Alan Rickman's voice would give the tingles in those bits all right
>no bully plz

>>18451815
You read your kids to sleep, I'd tell my ex gf stories so she could sleep. It's tender and kinda intimate. Your hubby probably feels the same. And the guy who does it to you probably too, he wouldn't read his male buddies to sleep would he? I hope you can see it from this perspective that this goes beyond the usual.

Like you said, your husband respects the friendships you have with other males, he's not the jealous type, he's not controlling. That's exactly why you should respect his feelings in this situation.

>>18451852
I always saw it as an exchange of favours - he helped me with my sleep, I helped him with languages. I never saw anything beyond that about it. I can understand how it might be an intimate act for some, but I feel like it depends on the circumstances and in my circumstances it really has never been tender.

The guy actually reads to another couple of people because he found out he loves doing it. But, yeah, I guess it's unusual.

I obviously will respect his feelings and stop doing it if it bothers him so much, I just feel like he overreacted like crazy.

>>18451510
Trade your husband blow jobs for late night reading sessions

>>18451934
B-but I suck his dick every night already...

>>18451510
You're a fucking disgrace.

You're married for fuck sake, stop skyping guys late at night like a whore
If i was your husband I'd be pretty close to divorce after that shit.
And then you say he is being unreasonable for being jealous?
What the fuck is wrong with women?

>>18451964
She was trolling the internet late night and how she found this guy in the first place and then convinced her husband she should meet the guy in real life. Damn how far does OP go and does OP have other male "friends" she has cultivated while her husband sleeps.

>>18451964
How am I a disgrace?
We talk late at night because he's in another continent. It is impossible to do otherwise because of timezones.
I don't see how talking (literally talking) to other men makes me a whore.

>>18451940
Stop sucking until he starts reading. Buy/download some erotica to start with that way he can read and you can suck.

>>18451882
Lets assume for a moment all you want out of this is sleep but how do you know your "friend" doesn't want you for himself?

>>18451982
I don't want to fall asleep while I'm sucking his dick, he'll suffocate me.

>>18451983
He never flirted or said anything that indicates he has some interest in me.
He is also much older than me, married (and very in love with his wife) and in another fucking country.

>>18451976
Wow you just don't want to get it. And what if your husband was slipping out of bed at night to skype with women ostensibly to sing them to sleep. Oh brother

>>18451991
My husband talks to his friends on the phone whenever he wants. I literally don't give a shit.
He visited a couple of his female friends when they were living abroad and slept at their place. I'm not a jealous person, I trust him.

>>18451976
"omg everything is totally innocent haha!"

It's almost like women actually BELIEVE it when they say these things, although part of me thinks you're lying to make yourself feel better about doing something wrong.
After all, you did make a thread for reassurance..

>>18451986
Initially this is not to put you to sleep this is to get your Ahole husband to start reading to you. It's called conditioning. After awhile he'll associate reading out loud with pleasure. It will take time but eventually he'll be programed correctly.

>>18452000
I know for a fact that it is innocent, since I'm the one being friends with him and I know the tone of our friendship.
We talk about books, politics and sports, we joke around. We're friends.
I have other male friends that are much closer to me than him (both geographically and emotionally).

>>18451998
>He visited a couple of his female friends when they were living abroad and slept at their place.

Oh boy..

>>18451976
so this guy doesn't work and on call to skype with you early to mid morning for him?

>>18451737
>I don't want to derail the thread like every time I mention where I am from on /adv/.
Why's that? Where are you from OP? Spill the beans.

>>18452011
What? Midnight for me is 6 PM for him. He works till 4-5 PM usually.

>>18451998
Now I'm calling bullshit. You have a perfect retort to every question, everything is perfect in your life and relationship and goes without saying you are fucking perfect and your husband nearly perfect until he went off the deep end tonight yet you are so stressed out you cannot sleep and call this other man.

>>18452022
So he's in the US and you're in Europe. So he gets home from a long day at the office, fights an hour of traffic, walks in the door, kisses his wife and gets on the phone with you immediately after work as she whips up dinner. bullshit.

>>18452029
Neither of us is perfect. Our relationship is normal - we argue sometimes like all couples, we have highs and lows. I never implied that our relationship is perfect or that we're perfect people.

My mom is sick and I'm taking care of her, it makes me anxious and it makes my insomnia worse. I've been insomniac since I was born tho. Lately it has been unbearable because of my mom.

>>18452038
>So he's in the US and you're in Europe.
Correct.

He lives 10 minutes away from his job. His wife works late shifts and finishes working around 9 PM his time usually, which is why we usually tend to talk after my husband goes to bed and before his wife comes home. So we're not taking away time from our spouses. Either that or during the weekend, but we both prefer spending time with our SO during the weekend.
We don't talk daily, he doesn't read to me often.

>>18452057
Another perfect retort. I get why your husband left it is impossible, you will defend your relationship with your friend with every fiber of your being. There are consequences to this however and I promise you this has been bothering your husband for a long time, he said something, you shut him up, so he will go silent again till he stresses out, can't take it anymore and doesn't want to argue and leave. Men do get pushed to a point they shut down and its over.

>>18451717
>I have similar effects with some stuff I found on youtube, but there's not really a ton of material.
>not really a ton of material
>on youtube

Lurk moar
>ASMR
>Lectures by people with soothing voices (Terence McKenna, Alan Watts are my personal favorites)

>>18452067
This.

Happened to me. She would rather die than admit anything was going on. I got sick of her shit and left her.

Turns out there was something going on and they're together now obviously but i lost feelings for her a long time ago

>>18452068
I did try with a lot of ASMR stuff but not all of them works with me.
I don't like when they whisper, I detest female voices, a lot of accents bother me, I don't like when they don't speak clearly and I can't understand everything they say. There's literally one channel I've found that has some videos that work, and one guy who posts on reddit.

>>18452067
My husband never expressed concerns about him. He likes him, asked me to invite him and his wife over this fall.
I am defending my friendship with you because you are just trying to fit things into a narrative that isn't realistic. I never needed to do it with my husband because he never questioned my intentions with him, not even this morning.

As I already said, I'll stop asking my friend to read to me now that I know it bothers my husband. I didn't think it could bother someone since I don't see it as something intimate. I just wanted to hear other people's opinions.

>>18452093
See I can't tell if you are defending your buddy or just don't want to be wrong. Nearly everyone on this thread feels uneasy with whats going on even though innocent. I think you know this buddy way better than you do your own husband or you just hear what you want and don't really give a shit how your husband may feel about this and why now you are all defensive he is displeased. Your husband has tried to make the best of this but you continue to push and with the latest disclosure he hit his limit. Who cares though, right?

>>18452104
Holy shit, this.

I can confirm this is how it feels as the guy

>>18452108
Hell yes its how it feels and nearly every man has had to bite their tongue and roll with relationships their gf or wife already has or cultivates. Most of it is easy enough to dismiss or explain away but its like a drip, drip, drip and then its better to close yourself off emotionally than to say anything and be told how much an idiot you are or insecure or jealous when if it had been in moderation there would be no problem. But you see expecting moderation or a little respect is viewed as being controlling. Its better to close down so you will not be destroyed and so you can just not give a fuck what she does.

>>18452104
Are you even reading what I post?
I already said that I will stop asking him to read me to sleep since it bothers my husband. I didn't perceive it as something intimate, so I didn't think it was a huge deal.

My husband doesn't care that I am friends with other men, or that I talk to other people online after he goes to bed. I am alone for at least 2-4 hours every night after he goes to sleep. I usually read a little bit and cook his lunch/breakfast, but sometimes it is nice to have someone to chat with or have some company.
He knew about my friendship with this particular guy and knew that we talked on the phone sometimes while he was sleeping. He never said a word about it, which is why I was so surprised that he got jealous.

I'd rather spend time with my husband but he needs to sleep 8+ hours per night and he wakes up earlier than me. I am obviously immensely closer to him than I am to any of my friends, especially online ones.

You just have decided that I'm emotionally cheating on my husband with this guy but it is not the case, and my husband never implied it or acted jealous towards him or any of the other males I talk to.

>>18452123
God damn, you're a wordsmith.

If you let it continue it only gets worse, and eventually it's cheating, if you try and stop it youre a controlling monster and she'll go to him as a shoulder to cry on.

There's no fucking winning in that situation. Ive decided after my last relationship that i will just leave if i see this shit happening again. Who knows how many years of my life were shaved off from the stress and frustration of that last one.

>>18452128
I have read every post and either you don't care what your husband really thinks, too bothered to care or don't know him as well as you believe. A guy not prone to jealously doesn't just flip one day and gets jealous. Your behavior has been unsettling to him and you didn't care because it wouldn't fit your narrative. You are deeply emotionally tied to this man and your husband has not let you know he knows. Defend your sham with me but your husband is calling your shit.

>>18452148
My husband has never been a jealous person. He also has a lot of opposite gender friends so he never questioned the fact that I was friends with guys. If he was bothered by someone in particular, he always talked to me about it and we discussed about it rather peacefully - I cut a couple of guys off because he thought they were flirting with me.
This is extremely out of character for him which is why I asked why it would make someone uncomfortable.

> You are deeply emotionally tied to this man
This is absolutely ridiculous. I am not. I do care about him like I care about the 3-4 people I talk to online routinely.
He's not my closest online friend, or my closest male friend.

>>18452143
Never ever date a girl who has lots of male friends or has an emotional bond with another guy who isn't family, especially if it's an ex, then just run.

>>18452128
>I will stop asking him to read me to sleep
oh this is great. Ever occur to you to give it a rest with this one guy for a while. Instead you'll call him tonight, he'll inquire why you haven't asked for him to read to you and you'll tell him of the shitstorm today and he'll give you sympathy.

>>18452174
>He's not my closest online friend, or my closest male friend
What the fuck? And you do what with them your husband doesn't know? Sounds like you have quite the history of online and in real life that go a bit too far and you always plead naive.

>>18452258
>Ever occur to you to give it a rest with this one guy for a while
If my husband asks me, yeah. Otherwise, no - I enjoy talking to him.

>Instead you'll call him tonight, he'll inquire why you haven't asked for him to read to you and you'll tell him of the shitstorm today and he'll give you sympathy.
1. It's the weekend, we never talk during the weekend because we spend time with our SOs.
2. He doesn't expect me to ask. I ask him very rarely. He neve "inquired" about it.
3. I would never talk shit about my husband with another man
4. My friend is not the kind of person to give me sympathy unless I deserve it

Why so many trust issues?

>>18452174
You need to evaluate why you cannot be alone, by yourself, for over a few hours.

>>18452263
I don't think I do anything with them that my husband doesn't know about. Or, at least, I never actively hid anything and I can't think of anything he doesn't know.

I have a very close male friend (been friends for 20 years this year, since 1st grade). I am friends with some other guys because we're in the same social circle.
I have a few online friends. Two girls and two guys.

I don't understand why you keep insisting with this weird narrative of me emotionally cheating on my husband, it is a bit tiring/pointless.

>>18452281
I can spend a few hours alone, I often don't talk to anybody after he goes to bed. It is pleasant to have someone to talk to a little bit if I want to, it was easy for me to bond with people online because I always spent huge amounts of time awake when everyone in my timezone was asleep.

>>18452274
I know your friend and you are perfect you don't have to keep telling me.

You also should encourage your husband go get some help for his issue, hell he might have a brain tumor and why he's is suddenly so unlike himself. Sorry if it made you feel bad.

>>18452305
Neither me or my online friend are "perfect". I just don't cheat on my husband like you insist.
I'm sorry, I can go and suck some cock if it makes you feel better.

What does he read to you? It better be some >>>/lit/-tier shit, otherwise your friend is a pleb.

>>18452310
You must be new here, just understand that we have some /r9k/ leftovers in this board who will constantly acuse femanons of being whores or cheaters just to validate their failure with women/relationships, next time just plain ignore those replies if you don't want to waste your time talking to a wall.

>>18452369
>inb4 one of them accuses you of being a white knight who only expects sexual retribution when commenting about how shitty someone's behavior is

>>18452068
>Alan Watts
She needs to listen to a few lectures by Alan Watts because not only is he a really nice voice to listen to but because he delivers really good lectures.

>>18452368
Huh. He reads me whatever he's reading, really.
If he has to pick something in particular for me, he picks a short story - he has read me Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Hemingway, O'Connor, Murakami.

>>18452369
Huh, yeah. I never really post here.

>>18452382
Doesn't make me sleep.

>>18452382
That's why I mentioned him, desu

>>18452369
I never once accused her of cheating nor called her a whore. I find it odd if everything is so perfect what would cause her bf to suddenly get jealous and offered things may have been perfect for her but her bf may have been secretly seething over her behavior and exploded when finally did that one more thing. Something isn't right. She says she's without fault in any interaction she has with men she cultivates online when her husband is asleep, her bf is fine with it but all of a sudden snaps. Either she isn't telling us the whole truth, her bf has been holding everything in, she's very naive or kinda stupid, there's something legitimately wrong with her bf she is clueless of and not close enough to know or her bf is really an asshole.

>>18451510
Yes, you have another dick reading stuff to your ear while your husband is upstairs trying to take a way a boner you are entitled to suck up. Stop being selfish and fuck your husband before you go to bed instead of ear-fucking this other guy.

>>18452435
I fuck my husband almost every night. He goes to sleep at 10 PM, I struggle to sleep till much later.
I never talk to anyone else if he's awake/around.