Hello guys, never posted on this board before, i recently started to feel this immense sadness that makes me cry almost daily.
>7th grade bullied by classmates
>year later "befriend" them in a way that im almost like a liability to them so that they don't get in trouble
>all the time after school i'm on the computer doing useless shit
>after 9th grade and middle school ends in the country i go out and drink for the first time and embarrass myself quite badly
>get paranoid, living in a small town where everyone knows everything about everyone and such, wondering what people think of me and so on.
>in a trade school that i considered a waste of time instead of going to high school, never hang out with new classmates, stay on computer playing minecraft with online friends
>live in a lie where i feel like i'm like the others even without having a social life like everyone else.
After 3 years of living on unemployment money i get a job that opens my eyes, seeing people everyday and talking with them, realizing how nice it was in my childhood when i had people i could call friends and do things with. They have their friendships and activities they do on daily basis with them, some have families already, got me a reality check on my situation by that. Now that it is midsummer and there's festivals and such i feel even more sad because i know how much fun all these people are having. I wish i was just normal like them but i'm not, i do not know where i went wrong as i generally get along well with people. Any advice where i should start to feel better?
start going to the gym and working out. Go on a solo hike, enjoy some nature. Find music that you really enjoy, find something new to learn.
If you like computer shit, try looking online for free courses to learning a coding language. For example, go on codeacademy.com and pick a course to learn(its free). Go on forums, (well you're already in one), talk to people. Watch a good show.