GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

I don't know why or how or what happened with me at this point, but you made it to a point with me that I can't look at you without wanting to be with you now. that's pretty fucked up, thats way more than I ever intended things to be with where things were, if that makes sense. what the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

>>18449814
My entire fucking life I wondered why I was a magnet for random people to come up and start talking to me.

Now I know.

:/

>>18449899
why?

You people are fucking cunts. You stole my fucking life from me, willingly gave me a deadly STD, and in the meantime judge me whether or not I say thank you for getting ice cream I don't even fucking like.

Go fucking kill yourselves.

>>18449979
and to add...

I'm thinking about taking the fucking money just out of spite now.

Again, go fucking kill yourselves. When I meet the person in charge of this I'm going to break his fucking nose.

>>18449979
>>18449984
Are you talking to yourself?

my girlfriend "broke" up with me and is acting like a total petty bitch. She knows I'm scared and a pussy of her possibly actually ending it with me if I so try to defend myself with her insults. She's playing this shit game of treating me like shit then 'fix' things later when she's satisfied. She believes bc I fucked up more than her, that her fuck ups are justified and not wrong. Yesterday she said some fucked up cold shit to me and I'm to the point where I'm about to blackmail her to scare her so I can sit her the fuck down and knock some sense into her. Because her way of "fixing" this relationship is treating me like trash until she feels I've taken enough punishment or not be petty emotionally mad at me anymore. I know it sounds fucked up but, I need to take charge in order for us to actually talk things out and actually fix shit. Her being this way is mentally draining and painful, I know in the future she'll regret doing this, so I have to do something to knock her out of this mindset asap.

Bitches are crazy and I should probably leave, but love makes people stupid and crazy.

>>18449989
It's a venting thread so most posts here are just people... venting.

I'm sorry Femanon for being like this with you, I am fucking up our couple because I am still incredibly childish and I don't kow how to act mature. In the same time, I don't really love you anymore, and I don't feel sexually attracted to you. Maybe I'm just playing with you, but we both know you would kill yourself if I left you. Maybe I just pity you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, you taught me how to love again, but I have slowly been destroying you for a while, and you are just startingto realize it. Remember the words from Pentagram " My looks are deceiving, I'm not what I seem". Please meet my true me.

Babe,

I want you. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss your handsome face and that soothing gorgeous voice of yours. I miss your strong hugs, your firm kisses that left me wanting so much more. This feels like the biggest tease ever, being so far away from you... indefinitely. All I want is to be in your arms and cuddle the day away. Play with your silky smooth hair and give you soft kisses all over. Explore every nook and cranny of your body, gain intimate knowledge of every last inch of you. There is so much left to be discovered about you, inside and out, and it pains me to think I may never get the chance to really know you. My timidity prevents me from prying, I'll only ever know what you decide you want to reveal. When I feel brave, I'll try to pepper some personal questions in our conversations, but never anything that would tell me what kind of person you really are. I feel like I've only read the first chapter of the first book in your series of novels.

My mind and body ache for you. I'm dying to tell you all of this and how I feel, but I'm biting my tongue. Saying any of this through text seems too impersonal (the reason why I'm sending this letter into the void rather than to you), so I've been waiting for the opportunity to see you again. I'm trying my best to pull together the means to visit you, but I'm failing. I'm afraid it may take 3-4 years for me to save up enough, and by then I wouldn't blame you if you lose interest and dump me. I'm pleasantly surprised that you haven't already, but I'm constantly on-edge because I feel like it could happen at any given moment.

You're incredible, and I'm just happy that I was blessed enough to spend these years with you. You've made me a better person. Thank you for always being there, for your boundless support and encouragement. Thank you for your kind heart and for showing me your beautiful soul. Whatever happens, I'll never forget you.

Love,
dummy

Some people say only looks matter. Others say you need to act like an asshole all the time. Others say just "b urself."

I'm really getting sick of all this conflicting emotion.

Nujabes is finally on spotify. Holy fucking god.

I worked my ass off to get the job I have today. I am scared I will lose my job and all future credibility because of who I work for.

>>18450138
Omfg. Thank you.

>>18450195
Dude I just spent the last couple days binging the shit I have in my collection along with Samurai Champloo. I'm over the moon right now.

I feel so fucking lonely at work.

That's all.

you just keep coming back to get btfo every time. just stfu before I step it up. I don't like you, I think you're an embezzling faggot with poor values that just puts up a facade. I suggest you lurk, leave, or stop prodding.

rofl the shit people say about you man. I've been checking around on you. I'll be mean to you because I don't like you, but the people that know you? holy shit the stuff I'm hearing.

>>18449993
Sup bro, i'm in the same exact situation as you. Cheated on each other, love is still there in a fucked up way, just less caring and tolerance. Yall should break up, time heals. You're not going to be alone for the rest of your life. This isn't 1960 where the only girl you had a chance with was the one down the street. You have the internet now. Stop being a bitch.

Dear GIOYC,
Thank you for exsisting. You've helped me a ton by letting me type out my anger.

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>>18450214
Same.
This fucking place is miserable. I've only got one friend here, and that friend's gonna leave towards the end of July.

Now I truly am alone if he goes. Everyone here's a fucking prick and I'm considering leaving elsewhere soon. Life is like a clock, and there are so many ticks to go off of before the battery dies. I'd rather not waste them here and get shit on everyday in secrecy.

We've been together for 10 years, but I feel like I can't keep up with our relationship. It's too much responsibility to live with your mom and your kid. I don't want to have a family yet at 27 YO. I need to travel while I can. But I can't stand to break your heart.

I hate these reminders that there is no place and nobody for me in this world. If I died nobody would notice or care. No matter how much I love somebody, it will be rejected and unwanted because they will always find somebody better. What was I born for? I'm only used and rejected over and over again. I wish I could just end my life but of course since I'm too much of a coward all I can do is bury myself into anime and video games. It's just so frustrating to try again and again to have a place only to be pushed out again and again. I open my mouth to talk to people and they just look the other way and wait for me to stop. I ask for help and nobody knows how but they will find out for somebody else. It's like the only thing I am allowed to do in this world is give everything I got to people only to be discarded once I'm tapped out. I've already given up on success, family, relationships, traveling and friendship so why do I have to keep feeling like this? What do I have to do to stop feeling so unloved and unneeded?

>>18450230
I completely understand and agree with you, but I feel like I've put too much time and effort into the relationship to just give up. I know she feels exactly the same, we get into problems and somehow always come out of it. I want us to both mature the fuck up and actually sit down and talk about everything (something she's always refused to do), I might be a blind bitch about it but I do really believe our relationship can be fixed - I want us to have one more chance, because I'm sick of us always fighting and hurting each other. I just need her to get out of this petty mindset she's in, even if my plan fails I at least want her to hear my side of things before we go our separate ways.

I'm ready to lose her/give up on her, but I want to at least try one final time anon.

In what do you work?

>>18450266
>>18450214
get a new job. then be the best dude at the new job. then the only people that won't like you are the insecure ones.

There's this really sweet, nice girl at work.
She's caring and has the cutest accent ever.

I spoke to her once,a couple of years ago when we first met, and my god, afterwards I was so confused. I didn't sperg out or anything, she was easy to talk to. Holy shit, for once, I was actually relaxed around a beautiful woman like she was a calming presence or something. and since then we've (very) slowly closed this distance between us.

It would start off as just "hi" and "bye" at the end of the shift.

Now it's looking like she's started taking her break later just so she can talk to me. Shit, she pretty much ordered my to sit next to her today.
I can be having a real shit day, but by break I'm happy again.

She's married though. I'm happy just being friends because I genuinely just like having her around, nothing more needs to happen.

Though, I'm worried I might be falling for her.
I'm not in love with her, not yet. I have a little crush on her but I have crushes on alot of women at work.
I don't want to get attached or dependant on her though.

>>18450281
Bro I said that to myself the last 10 times my gf and i broke up. Take some time out and focus on yourself now, stop stagnating and rotting in a toxic ass relationship. You and her both deserve better.

I used to get back with her just for the sake of nostalgia and to "prove" that love does win in the end. But ask yourself this, what the fuck are you fighting for? Are you fighting for her to finally "get it"? That she shouldn't take it for granted? Here's the big fucking red pill that you need to swallow my brother. Both of you are never going to change, and you'd both be better off finding people that actually understand you.

opposites attract ,good sex, passion. You need someone that's just as sensitive as you are to be able to have a good emotional connection.

here's a confession. I relish the moments when people talk shit when I've already identified key things about them and their life that portend bad things in their future. like I can just keep doing my thing and work toward success and then just wait for their shit to fall apart cause they don't have the personality type to acknowledge their problems. its like preemptive shadenfruede x10. I love this shit.

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you're not supposed to be able to change the outcome of this world, it's why they fought so hard to nullify your democratic choices. Why? It's so that they keep the money
its all it ever was
.tell me I'm wrong

"if you lie to someone it basically says you just think they're stupid enough to believe a lie!"

or it means they're afraid of your reaction and you should take a damn long look at how you interact with others on a regular basis

wish my grandma would just up and die already

everyone say's I'll regret saying it and be sad, but she's been an abusive narcissistic cunt to my mom, she's histrionic/borderline, she lied about my ex-uncle being a pedophile and called CPS to get his kids taken away from him because he was mexican (and not a doctor like the man my aunt was cheating on him with), she hid items from my paranoid bipolar granddad and told him my mom did it so they were estranged for years, and probably caused him to commit suicide. she's a racist, manipulative, bitter, monstrous old hag and I hope she dies really fucking soon so my mom stops getting her harassing phone calls every week and she can live in peace.

will I regret saying this when she finally dies? nope. will I regret not going to her funeral and pissing off the rest of my family? hell no. everyone on that side made their respective beds and can lie in them.

I... I'm really an idiot, aren't I? It's like you do things deliberatly to try get to me and it's fucking working. God, I hate myself.

But don't worry, it was the last fucking time.

>>18450379
>will I regret saying this when she fina
only when peopl e find out you said it really, even then you may not give a shit I dunno

>>18450393
I'm already planning on not going to her funeral and if they ask they'll get the reason why, so nah.

>>18450384
It was the last time. You're not worth it.

>>18450405
She soiunds like a laugh actually. ask her how I get my neighbours to hang themselves

>>18450417
you must be fairly new. that's dementia anon. the "you"s and "they" she/he refers to are their doctors.

>>18450433
Dementia anon is still nowhere as irritating as little baby anon.

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Ending it right now. Not the way you think, I'm not talking about suicide.
Gonna log out of all my accounts, gonna block everyone from my phone, and never return to any of them. I'm gonna go away, stay at a place, live a modest, creative life because that's what I need. I'll create a new account somewhere, just to serve me as entertainment, I'll give a few of you hints about it before I depart. If you find me, good, congratulations, you made it and you deserve a chatter about life with me.
I wanna cut all of you out of my life, I want to forget and change everything.
Sorry buddy, my bro, my man, the only person I trust - this includes you as well.
Maybe I'll regret this. Dunno. Won't ever know.
I'll visit the old place we hang out at in half a year or a year. Just once, won't need more to see how the seeds I planted in every single one of you have grown. I'll return stronger, both physically and mentally, and I'll treat you with the utmost disgust, look at you from above, present myself as a better being than you while pointing out how subhuman you are and how worse you became over the course of just months.
I will point all of your flaws out because I won't care if it'll hurt you. Especially you, you fucking cunt. You wasted my time and I'll call you a fucking two-faced whore in everyone's presence for it.

I am better than all of you, and I'm going to prove it, you worthless pieces of shit. You dragged me down by wasting my time, and you'll feel it.
Now only thing left is to answer the questions of a few people and leave everything behind...

I can't describe how much I fucking hate my IRL """friends"""
Stupid obnoxious italian midget who's only personality is fucking memes and gets extremely defensive if you don't laugh at his """jokes""" (which are really just unfunny memes he shows you on his phone) and constantly tries to act like he's #1 about everything even if he has absolutely no fucking clue what he's talking about. Also how the fuck is it funny to rob me and then start laughing because it was a le funny meme, and then act surprised when you get bitchslapped? Fuck off.
Then there's the most disgusting conformist fuck I've ever met in my life, clean your fucking face for once and get all of that disgusting shit out of your teeth and start defending yourself for once, I'm tired of having to stick up for you when someone fucks with you for being a bone deficient autist. You're not even that bad, I just wish you grew some fucking skin, Christ.
And finally we have the most annoying bitch you'd ever meet in your life. I've never met someone I despise and am so disgusted of this much until I met her. Using some sexual offers to try to get her way, almost fucking worked on me until I discovered how much of a cunning whore she was. Everyone in my "group" obeys her every command because they're either quiet submissive fucks or her best friend, Italian midget. It sucks because I'm the only fucker that will actually tell her to fuck off for once and then she bitches and tries to constantly throw shade at me and make everyone hate me. It's like she can never enjoy a moment and has to either constantly act like she's a prostitute by twerking on the street and start talking about every single guy you fucked. I've never met anyone who's known so many men by saying "yeah we fucked once". I'm guessing we don't get along because I must be the first guy she met who told her to fuck off. I don't know why I'm still nice to you instead of being a prick to you like I should. (1/2)

>>18450448
>little baby anon.
must've been before cousin poster before I came back and saw the shit state of the board.

>>18450476
I wish I could crop myself out of the life of every one of you cunts but then if I did that I'd have no more friends and no one to interact with because all of my best friends moved away. But maybe I'd be happier if I did. (2/2)

You banished me to the shadow realm but are you really that far away?

My anger has inverted my life and you are indulging so readily like you don't see where this is going.

>>18450477
Little baby guy singlehandedly got these threads banned for a while. Literally some of the craziest bullshit imaginable, then cousin anon came along and is a whole other branch of bonkers. Meanwhile, lots of us are content whining about our oneitis

I detest my parents for bringing me to this country and having to live with feeling guilty for not being white in it.

this feeling of having to apologize and ask for forgiveness for not being white; it has taken a massive toll on me the past 12 years I have been here. Last year I went back home and It was like I was a fish being put back into water.

I want to go back home and not have to deal with people telling me I'm wrong for being here and basically wanting me dead because I'm not white.

god I fucking hate my father especially for doing this to our family. there are days I watch the traffic and wish he would get t-boned and die for doing this to me. fuck you; you turncoat peice of shit, you used to talk to mighty; "Todo por Peru" and boast about your military days, and now all you do is eat McDonalds and work at Walgreens as a shitty part time manager. Fuck you for what you did to us, and my self esteem.

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Should I get drunk playing pool at a bar or get drunk watching Fist of the North Star?

>>18450491
please leave

>>18450497
I'm trying. trust me. I want nothing with with country just as much as you want nothing to do with me. I'm almost done with University and then I will be gone.

I never wanted to come here to being with; so be mad at my father not me, I was happy where I was.

I want to go work out but it's rest day.

>>18450491
>having to live with feeling guilty for not being white in it


for what purose

>>18450512
>for what purose

I dont understand what your question meant?

mind clarifying?

I am depressed because of my identity issue. In high school, I knew who I was. But after that I decided to get into a very long, very unhealthy relationship of four years and now I don't know who I am

I want to figure it out, and I think i'm going to move away with my family to challenge myself emotionally and figure things out in a new setting

>>18450513
Why are you feeling guilt about not being white

>>18450515
because ever since I came to this country, I have been told by everyone or everything that I am; (and yes I am in this country) a second class citizen.

that no matter what I do; no matter how hard I try; I will always just be another brown piece of shit to everyone here and that no matter how hard I try to assimilate into American culture, I'm still just some "immigrant fuck"

this has been repeated into my head by movies, music, tv and actual people telling me this here in Nevada.

back in Peru I never had a dought people had to judge me based on the context of my character because everyone I ever met looked like me. brown; everyone there was "a brown Peruvian piece of shit" so I knew for a fact that when people looked at me they had to talk to me to be able to completly judge me for who I am, because since I look like everyone else, there is no way to tell.

I could apply for jobs and go to a interview knowing I would be judged based on my resume because the guy interviewing me was also a "shitskin" just like me.

I don't have that here, all I have here is my brownness and the disdain I hold for my father for putting my in this situation instead of growing a pair of balls and sticking it out and giving me and my brother a education back in Lima instead of Reno, Nevada.

that's why anon.

Fuck you you bitch ass ho asss fucking bitch! You think you can just fucking control my future? bitch fuck you! You "try to help" by putting me in a group with the fucking short bus kids BITCH I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DISORDER THE ONLY DISORDER HERE IS WHY YOUR PUSSY IS SO LOOSE! And you have the audacity to give me a fucking nigger as my guidance! Bitch this is fucking natural nazi fucking southern land! I am tired of being treated like something is wrong with me because the fucking government communist common core makes no sense. Bitch look at my grades in english! I could be a fucking honor student if not for your "concerns" Bitch i can't follow my dreams because they are "too hard" Nigga i will rip yo titty off and fucking fuck!

I love her but I can't tell her.

>>18450540
welcome to being white in weimerica. you have privileges, we need to push that down by making everything shit for you so that no one has anything nice.

>>18450562
if it makes you feel any better at least one non-white person is leaving. I'm almost done with my schooling and then I promise I wont ever return.

>>18450524

The worst part is, mate, 5, 10 years ago, people wouldn't have given as much of a shit.

Those americans even voted in a shitskin.
And he was good. Great even. For four years.

And then he started playing identity politics like the filthy fucking jew puppet he is and now every demographic is at each others throats and the left, who previously helped bring equality are known as the same ones who destroyed it by going all Icarus and flying to close to the sun.


Go to Europe, mate.
You won't be judged for your character, still. You'll be judged on your skin.
But judged always positively.
As a brown person you can rape a german woman, kill her kid and make her eat his face and they'll just say it's all whiteys fault.

Jewmans fly any closer to the sun they'll just melt.

>>18449814
Im noddin hard on some hydro i took and mixed it with kratom and alcohol. I tell myselfbi do this because i "like to have a good time." But in reality i do it to escape how badly i want to commit suicide :/

>>18450574
>Go to Europe, mate.
>You won't be judged for your character, still. You'll be judged on your skin.


that's the exact opposite of what I should do.
where you being sarcastic?

I mean I don't even want to be close to white people, I think I made that quite apparent in my post, so why would I go to Europe?
I don't want to rape anyone.

>>18450584

It's barely white anymore.

Jews are making sure of it.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYTHING.

WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE.

WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT ME.

LITERALLY. EVERYONE.

>>18450587
ok but how is that my problem?
am I somehow at fault of that?

I've never been to europe. I don't actually know anyone that has.

I don't understand the purpose of you telling me "because of jews X is happening"

sorry hitler didn't finish the job I guess?
sorry I don't know what to say.

>>18450597

I'm trying to tell you that europe welcomes you with open arms and will send anyone to jail for even thinking bad things about you.

It's literal heaven for you.

Feel free to exploit it.

Enough of you do it, eventually you can have the segregation you want.

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>>18450587

Don't forget the lizard people.

>>18450599
>I'm trying to tell you that europe welcomes you with open arms

And I'm trying to tell you I have in interest in ever setting foot in that part of the world.

countrary to what you might want to belive, not every single brown wants to immigrate to another country, the ones that do are commonly lower class "working" trash like the ones in Mexico who immigrate to America illegally and legally.

and will send anyone to jail for even thinking bad things about you.

again, sorry that is happening in your country. but that has nothing to do with me. or my country.
If I could push a botton and end all the immigration in the world, I would. but I can't anon. the only thing I can do is take my self out of the equation and move back. and also keep others from coming to mine, and so should you.
everyone had the right to exist. and everyone deserves a homeland.

>Feel free to exploit it.
Why would I want to do that?
what would I have to gain from doing that?

or is that just a assumption that every brown person whats to exploit white people's countries?
well not me.

>Enough of you do it, eventually you can have the segregation you want.

enough of me? peruvian people?
inca people? I don't understand the purpose of your reply anon.

>>18450491
Go to East LA, you'll be absolutely fucking surrounded by your people.

>>18450625

I'm not mexican?
how are they my people?

and LA is still in america, so no.
I feel like a lot of anons missed my point here.

I still dunno what to make of this

So, I saw this girl once before like a month and a half ago at may day, we exchanged a few words, but nothing meaningful. (Well, I dont think at least. But she randomly came upto me during the main rally when we were doing some antagonizing)

But last week I was at one, and this same girl came up behind me and tapped me and asked my name. Along with asking some stupid questions on who was speaking at the pre-rally. (I also mentioned the guy next to me was with us at the first action, but she kinda half assed said hey, and went back to me) Also, later she tried telling me something during the march, while kinda hovering near me at parts. (seemed to bounce between me and another two people she knew (I think she actually knew them))

Ended up finding and messaging her on FB, she then called me on FB video
And basically wanted to confirm who I am
Asked if I was the Taller Antifa guy with curly blond hair and blue eyes
And that she was near me because she recognized me (seems almost like a convinant excuse?)
and that she was probably just complaining about one of the White Liberals there
and explained her radio show thing to me
Also she joked about how I found her FB.
Like she asked how, and I said that I was looking at mayday photos, and saw she commented and she said like "Hey, who this bitch that tried telling me something" in a deep manly type voice

>>18450630
Don't be silly Anon, there's the United States of America then everything south of it is Mexico until you reach Argentina, which is just Spain but shitter.

>>18450643
oh ok. so your just joking.

sorry, lol it's hard to pick up sarcasm when it's being typed.

when I use it I always try and use [sarcasm][/sarcasm]

to try and not sound autistic.

I found out that my ex isn't happy with his girlfriend and wants to break up with her, and the rest of his life is just a shitshow. And I know I shouldn't care but I feel like it's karma finally making its way round to him after he talked to me like shit and upset me constantly. It's your turn to cry now bitch.

that is so sweet of you! they all fucking hated me

ahhh , I'm touched

>>18450649
Yes I was just joking (although Argentina is just Spain but shitter). I think using [sarcasm][/sarcasm] comes across as even more autistic. Actually now I'm curious, isn't Peru fairly multi-ethnic anyway? So how do you see yourself as a Peruvian, are you more Native or conquistador? I imagine when you actually live there that'll come up.

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I typed this up on my social media last night but deleted it after a couple minutes. I'm too lazy to type it out (on phone, laptop currently broken)

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>>18450667
>isn't Peru fairly multi-ethnic anyway?

no. that's why I want to go back.

>So how do you see yourself as a Peruvian.

I am a native, my bloodline can be traced by to before the water walking kike myth took effect across the world.
Central peru is my native land, it's where all my ancestors where born and died and it's where I was born and will die, and my kids will do the same. so so will my grandkids.

It's a great burden on me that my father doesn't see it that way, I just hope he gets killed here by some african piece of shit or some arab on attack for betraying our people and leaving in time of need.

>peru
>multicultural

back in the good times, the Camino Eluminado
(you guys know them as the shinning path)
was actiavly trying to kill off any non native in peru because it was widely accepted that these people did not belong on our land. than the jew centrel bank was introduced and the CIA took care of the rest.

I wish I was born during that era.

I will fucking snap

>>18450688
I'm confused, I looked it up and Peru's only 45% Native, with the other bulk being Spaniards and their half-breeds (37%). How's that not multi-ethnic?

>>18450710
>Peru's only 45% Native

yeah that has alot to do with immigration.
from other countries.

oh and mulattos are not considered white by anyone in peru.
they are mulattos. mixed people. no native inca.

so that only leaves about 20-15% "white" people of spanish decent, but what's really awesome is that most of them leave peru for other white countries.

again, I can't emphasize that enough, no one considers mulattos in peru as white, they are just mixed shitbags who THINK they are white.

do you consider mexicans white?

I mean, they are mestizo right? are they white?

no right? neither do Peruvian people (inca people)

>>18450729
Anon, that's still multi-ethnic. I get that you hate white people, but those mixed up Spaniards aren't the same as you and they won't think you're the same as them. Look at India for the perfect example of this, it's one country that's got a ton of castes following different religions who have separate cultures. A Sikh Punjabi is not automatically going to get along living amongst Hindu Gujuratis. Hell, America's the same. I really think living in America has warped your mind, the world does not consist of simply white and non-white.

I said a lot of mean things to you today.
And I haven't felt so liberated since the day I moved into my new house.
I'm so glad we never moved in together. I'm so glad you turned out to be a selfish dick. I'm glad you're falling in love with her only to move away in a month or two. Fucking good. You deserve it.
I'm never. Ever dating anyone younger than me ever again.
You're an idiot. I'm going to make it and so are you probably.
But I'm going to become so successful you'll have to hear about me every day of your life.

>>18450742
>the world does not consist of simply white and non-white.

no but when it comes down to it, it all boils down to that, white people have been at the aggression of my people. not the other way around.

when did incas ever invade europe and force inca culture on others? and now white Europeans want to whine and bitch about immigration?
seems abit hypocritical doesn't it?

I mean what are white people doing in Argentina? or mexico? or or chile? or pretty much north/central/south america?
that was forced immigration onto us wasn't it?

oh but thats right? you build civilization.
and we where all just sitting around waiting for you to arrive so we could be someone.
that's the problem I have, you think you did everyone a favor, well here's something I want you to take to heart.

STOP DOING PEOPLE FUCKING FAVORS YOU KIKE CONTROLLED PIECES OF SHIT!!!

STAY IN EUROPE!!

^that's on behalf of the 45% of my native people who in other circumstances would tear you to pieces for what our ancestors had to die for.

god, the first thing I'm going to do when I get back is join ECE and go burn some of these fucking "spanish" peoples houses down like they do in the turbasos in lima in 2016.

but yes, america has changed the way I see the world.

I onces would have believed that in this world, we could all be friends, and get along, hell me and you in a better world might have been close friends, and shared dinner with each others families, things might have been different, more peaceful; but thats not how things worked out, didn't they?

and we don't live in that world. we live in this one anon.

I don't think I'm alone because I want to be, but because I feel like I have to be. I feel like hell all the time and cognitively impaired, and I'm going through a lot right now. I'm lonely but I don't think I deserve or belong with anyone.

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>>18450774
Firstly, I'm not white. Secondly, Spanish people are also not white. Thirdly, you can't blame some fat white guy in Nevada who waves an American flag and is still butthurt at the entirety of Europe because the English burnt down the white house one time for the conquest of Peru, that's very short-sighted, you should blame your ancestors' lack of ability to defend your country coupled with their inability to ever be relevant on the world stage. Fourthly I appreciate some good nationalism but I don't understand how one second you can say you want to go home to your brown country and people then the next talk about burning down Spaniards as payback for racist Americans. Finally forced immigration isn't actually the same as conquest, the latter involves open conflict and they're played with a whole different set of rules, at its most base level conquest is two states backed by their people going head-to-head whereas forced immigration is guerrilla politics (and warfare) between a state and its people, but this is a whole other issue entirely.

In conclusion I don't think we ever could be friends because your worldview is basically that of an average American. Either way I wish you luck in your endeavours, however little I actually understand them.

Reposting.
21 year old virgin and I'm thinking of getting a hooker just to get the first time jitters out of the way. If I set it up, should I tell her that I'm a virgin while setting it up, before it happens?

this is going to turn into a missed connections thread for just a second

to the beautiful blonde that noticed me noticing her noticing me singing on the freeway. the smile is telling, it means something to me, but good girl showing me the ring. clear communication with no words but so much said. he's a very smart lucky man.

I'm stuck on blondes now. for the longest time it was brunettes but especially brunettes where their hair just had that slightest red tint to it so in the right light it just lit up. now blondes though.

>>18450866
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_xqFISw9zc

lol the timing was reallllly good too cause this is what I was singing. ah c'est la vie

>>18450813
>, you should blame your ancestors' lack of ability to defend your country coupled with their inability to ever be relevant on the world stag


so because my ancestors where peaceful and not illness riddled scum we are irrelevant?

OK cool. then please leave us alone! if we are irrelevant please let us be, leave us in the jungle to continue to be irrelevant, we are ok with that.

there is a old saying in inca culture, that translates to English pretty well.

The problem with the inca is is kindness, the solution is his evident in fire and death.

I think I was placed in the position that I was placed in to force me to see the truth, our kindness must die.

and the invaders must die.

if it's the last thing I do, I will at least claim one filthy European "tourist".

this is why I get a hard on when I see what the arabs are doing to those scumbags in Europe. I hope the give them hell.

>>18450968
>if it's the last thing I do, I will at least claim one filthy European "tourist".
>this is why I get a hard on when I see what the arabs are doing to those scumbags in Europe. I hope the give them hell.
into the garbage you go.

>>18450975
fuck you too.

>>18450654
You're so lucky. I hope it happened to my ex too. Congratulation on being happy by the way.

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I don't know if you love me anymore.

It's been three weeks since we've split. It feels like a lifetime. I'm not suffering as much as i did a couple weeks ago but. It doesn't feel like I'll ever be able to move on. I only want you. Nothing but you. I'm really grateful that I've had this opportunity to grow as a person and work on myself, but I feel like it's all a waste if I can't be this person that I want to be for you too. I really just wish I hadn't been so naive beforehand. I should've seen it coming. I grew complacent, I was happy with where I was. With where we were. But now you've turned my whole life upside down at the drop of a hat, at an extremely crucial point in my life, no less. I know you only meant good, and I didn't see it as anything except that. But I only have eyes for you. The memories of you are never ending. Every minute of every day. You were just so special to me, and I wish I would have let that motivate me to be the best for me, and for you. Maybe I just don't want to give in to the thought of seeing you loving someone else. I told you I think I'm selfish in that regard. I really am. I just don't want to move on. I don't want to let you go. I just can't. I keep holding on the possibility of a future with you, and I don't know how to let go. I can't convince myself to.

I just miss you so much.

>>18449907
money and/or sex probably

>>18451004
You sound like me anon, same thing happened to me at around the same time. The difference is I have felt as bad since the first day till now.

I fucking hate myself, I'm at that point where I realise how much I've fucked up and pretty much how I painted myself into a corner, I believe I'm doomed to be a failure pretty much because of that, and no, for some reason I don't feel like killing myself. I don't have anyone to talk to about this

>>18451055
Well that and my SO didn't mean good, unless good was good for them. Everyone I talk to about it basically says my SO was a horrible human being for what they did, but I don't believe that. I still feel the way you do about yours towards mine.

I just don't know what to do. There is no happy way forward, only bitterness for the rest of my life with some small enjoyable times to somehow make up for all of it.

I fucking hate it when people won't properly do their job, for fuck's sake you're getting paid to do shit, also when you fail to do something or do it wrong it causes issues for other people.

Fuck my coworkers, I hope they die slosly and painfully and if I could I would fucking throw the printer at them fucking bunch of morons.

Dear You,

I'm in love with you. I have been for months. You've been on my mind every second since then. You're the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing at night, but the fact that you brushed away your feelings for me two years ago because you were scared of what could happen makes me terrified to tell you how I feel right now, and the fact that things are exactly the same lately and yet we made out and more terrifies me even more.. I just want to make you as happy as you make me, and I hope that one day, I can do that..

Love, Me

>>18451111
The one thing that scares me more than losing you, is losing you and you not knowing how I feel, just sitting there, saying and doing nothing as we go our seperate ways in life. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, with that mistake.

>>18451095
>>18451055
We broke up for the better. But I tell myself everyday that I have what it takes to be what she needs. If only I could convince her the same..

CJ, I miss you a lot and think about you a ton. I've felt guilty I put you on hold to spend time with a jerk. By your posts it appears you're in distress and it really bothers me, not going to lie. If I was there I'd smoke you up and we could talk it all out (although I don't smoke anymore I'd still buy it and roll for you to enjoy lol). There's so much music I want to enjoy listening to with you, but I feel as if I have no right messaging you and asking you how you're doing because I've neglected our friendship so much while being manipulated for so long. I could not hang out with any guys even though I was not and never will be sexually attracted to you without being told I was doing bad things. Regardless, please continue to release new music and stay positive. Sending you lots of love from my side. Thanks for making my life so colorful when you came around and helping me through a bunch of bullshit I put up through by not saying anything to potato nigger.

technically, under your laws, I'm untouchable. now what?

I kind of like you but I know you've been with hookers and thats way too gross for me to get over. i will never let you touch me

>>18449814
I'm really fucking happy with my life, but I want to try mushrooms or acid for the first time really fucking bad. How do I go about getting it? Any places online?

>>18451327
Actually, I just jerk off to porn. LOTS of porn.
This is why I'm giving off this vibe. Perhaps gross to you, but without porn, my libido would be dangerously high.

You aren't able to keep up with me, this is how big it is. I can spend even entire days going and going until I'm unconsious and without ammo.

Dear A,
You left immediately after my best friend moved in. You said you let him move in for me, and that you realized you couldn't handle it, and it became the last straw. I haven't seen you in almost a week, and when you do come home--you ask that we leave while you are here, sometimes early in the morning. I have forfeited my job, which I loved, and now I have to move back home with my parents at 23, despite living with you for almost three years. I asked you time and time again if it was okay, if we could try to give him a better life, then make him leave if he didn't try...you didn't give him a chance. You told me we could keep the apt originally, that we could easily afford it if he got a job, yet last night you said you didn't believe that at all, and that you are couch surfing because I am being unrealistic about paying $550 a month. Three years gone because you have to drink all the time and I am a homebody, that is essentially what this is coming from. You can't drive because of your DUI, and I bet you blame me partly for your lack of dependence because I drive you everywhere, bring you food to work all the time...I love you, still, probably will forever, but never contact me once this is over.
LOVE, W

I'm caught in an awkward stage where I'm not sure what to do in terms of relationships.
Most of me wants to ease into a relationship with a woman at my own pace, and become her husband and father of her children. Another part of me wants to go all-out and pursue a woman recklessly, having a destructive and somewhat obsessive relationship. Part of me wants to just pay a hooker so I can stop being a virgin, another part wants me to go full douchebag and date exclusively for sex, and the rest of me is a beep boop and just wants to make money and live and die alone.
I hate hormones.

>>18451365
>I want to try mushrooms or acid for the first time
for what purpose? to fuck up what you've got going on? like just because a bunch of burnt out people say it's interesting and life changing doesn't make it true. look where most people that take acid and shrooms are in life, then ask yourself "is this person in the position I want to be in life and is what they say on drug usage valid?" the answers will almost always be no. I say almost cause jordan peterson has done psychedelics apparently I've learned. even him though, if you watch really close and get really good at reading people, even he has some dark in him. there's some serious stuff not entirely right in that man's brain that comes out on his face on very rare occasion but it allows him to be who he is and do what he does and he's got an iron grip on it. you are not likely to become a jordan peterson through psychadelic experimentation. you are likely to become your typical burn out that thinks they know the keys to the universe but can't get their shit together enough to do literally anything.

>>18451395
>Part of me wants to just pay a hooker so I can stop being a virgin
absolutely disgusting and look at >>18451327
>another part wants me to go full douchebag and date exclusively for sex
I've had this thought, I was presented with opportunities overflowing, couldn't do it. it's just fucking boring. I could already feel there wasn't anything there and it's just a massive turn off.

>Another part of me wants to go all-out and pursue a woman recklessly, having a destructive and somewhat obsessive relationship
I mean, I've done this, it doesn't work. also I almost threw away my values for it and that's not worth it and I'd never have recovered from that. kinda depends on the girl you do this with.

>Most of me wants to ease into a relationship with a woman at my own pace, and become her husband and father of her children
somewhere between your own pace and going all out and reckless is probably the pace you want tbqhfam.

>the rest of me is a beep boop and just wants to make money and live and die alone.
poor plan mate, you'll be miserable

>>18451327
>>18451385
is this a thing? if you have a high libido and jack off to bring it in check so you're not just like running up walls women get a you've seen a hooker vibe?

is this something I should worry about? cause I've jacked off like 6 times today and I could do more, I'm just trying to bring this shit down. I need my libido to calm the fuck down cause it got sent through the roof with no like, recourse, and it's going to affect my decision making process and land me in a stupid relationship if i don't bring it down again.

>>18451385
>>18451418
What are you talking about? There is no "vibe". The guy i was writing about literally told me hes seen two hookers in his lifetime

>>18451419
ah well that's just fucking disgusting.

My first bullshit job was filled with assholes and absolute robbery in terms of effort, profit and literal stealing be it property or time spent goofing off. I often go back to those times and hurt since the carefree days are gone until I die.

I've never been more in love and I doubt that you see me as more than a friend.

>>18451307
CJ doesn't post here

>>18451307
and fuck you. You stole from me. I really like you and you go off and fuck him even though you're "not sexually attracted" to him. Why you hate me so much I don't understand.

i...it's really hard to say...i once touched down there

but only for a short time, then i immediately washed my hands and prayed to allah for 3 hours straight, kneeling on my bicycle chain

I'm reaching the end of my limit. I'm so tired of letting me hurt me like this. I've felt for a while now that I'm the one loving the most in this relationship. Hell he won't even pick up the phone when I call him, calling me back at a later time probably doesn't even cross his mind. I don't understand how he can talk so casually about the intimate part of our relationship to people online, I feel disrespected and unbloved. For him I would do anything but it seems like my feelings won't ever be returned in full.

I scheduled a hangout but now I am just too tired to go
Its not like I don't want, actually looking forward to it, but I already got high in my apartment and shit, don't wanna confirm plans and handle logistics and shit
Motivate me

Jag saknar dig.

A,

I didn't even like you, I liked the affection you gave me. I miss you now, but that's just because I'm desperate and lonely.

Don't write me.

>>18450968
>OK cool. then please leave us alone!
I've never been and have no intention of ever going. But to quote you, "we don't live in that world. we live in this one".

I afraid of losing my job and not getting laid,i am 27 and living with my parents and having a low-tier job.

Don't worry, I will never forget you, S. Be happy and know how amazing you can be. :)

L

I like you, I really do. You are a great person, and chatting with you is always fun. But what I told you some time ago still stands - we won't get into a relationship. Sometimes I worry that you might misinterpret my actions and count on something more - I hope that is not the case. I don't want to cause you any more pain by rejecting you again.


M

I don't know how to interpret what is between us (a very vague friendship?). I always feel nervous when talking with you, and usually have a feeling that you are busy or not interested in conversing with me. And it's understandable since I usually bother you with my personal tragedies, kek. Or say something mean. But look, it doesn't mean that I dislike you or see you as my emergency emotional tampon. I hope you know that.

So you left me because you were unhappy and fell in love, it hasn't even been a month and they are treating you like absolute shit and you're staying with them why? Where did your balls go? You said the sex wasn't even good and now she's not even letting you touch her. What the fuck is going on?

How the FUCK is it true that apparently 99% of people experience unrequited love at least once in their life? Do they count as unrequited love when some random person in a nightclub doesn't acknowledge your advances? Otherwise I can't believe so many people feel unrequited LOVE, especially when I know "crushes" only happen to some people and how the rest love to say crushes are retarded.

I mean this with full sincerity, in that if the rest of my life will continue in the same style as the past seven or so months, I would have immediate recourse to suicide. It sounds rash, but this isn't a rash decision, and I'd hardly consider myself suicidal. No - it's because this condition nullifies life, invalidates experience, phases out emotion, eliminates pleasure, and in total, removes every single thing that makes life worth living. This may sound painful, but in truth, it's not painful in the least. Trying to evoke any tangible sense of anger or frustration is futile, and fades at once like sand slipping through fingers. Anything can happen, and you will feel blank. Not empty in a sort of existential and poetic way - just blank, no reaction, nothing.

I remember what warm showers felt like. How beautiful music made life seem important, and the spring within me when I saw a beautiful girl. I remember how unbelievably fun video games were, and the enjoyment of a good conversation. I remember having a stable set of values, and an understanding of my place in the world, and what my goals were.

Now, it's all nothing. I'm 18, but I live like an old man. I go to the same websites I have since I was 15, but with much less pleasure. My shelf is now full of books and I doubt a single one would matter to me. I have to ignore 99.99% of what people say, or imagine that I can relate to it, because it simply doesn't apply to me in my current state. My life is like a parody of one right now. Even this thread will get no responses, because on a fundamental level, I'm alone. I don't feel lonely, but it's true - only a handful of people on earth feel like I do, and they can't help either. So this is it.

>>18451470
I know that he doesn't know of this place. I'm just letting something out after holding it in for a long time.

>>18451478
I didn't fuck him and I never could.. don't think I'm the anon you're looking for, friend but project away

>>18451639
So you lied about everything?

I could be there tomorrow if I wanted to

>>18451478
Not sure if you will come back online to see this Anon and I am unsure of what someone has done to you but you seem to be in distress as well. I'm incapable of hating people and this has been a weakness of mine for a long time. The feeling of allowing someone to have that domain over me makes my insides jumble into a mess so I don't recommend it (but we all speak out of anger and hurt -- the word "hate" slips out then the next thing you know you're burning someone's house down in the name of love to justify your feelings). If you want to share your story I'll read it

I'm starting to get the feeling that he likes me, but it might be my hopeful brain. The other day I could sense him noticing what I did. Maybe even being annoyed when I was on my phone. I feel the same kind of confidence I felt before dating my ex.

If I get this guy, I'm done for life. He seriously checks all my boxes. I don't know him enough to tell, but he's like my dream guy made reality.

Oh, and I'm planning on asking him out for drinks, but I hate the taste of alcohol lol (but enjoy its effects). I hope it's not a bad idea haha

>>18449814
Fucked my best friend's crush in the woods after he picked me up from across town. She will never know. But I will live with the guilt. Dick was hella good, though.

I'm currently overwhelmed by the desire to sniff a cute girl's butt. It'll probably go away in an hour or so though.

>>18451846
You're not alone. You're an important part of this universe and if you weren't here to rant about this, then i wouldn't be responding to you rn. You have the whole world at the tip of your finger, literally. You don't have to worry about how people handle their shit or how they live. Do your own thing and focus on improving your life the way you like it,anon. You matter :))

>>18450151
Who do you work for?

I swear I'm going to be the daddiest dad ever. I'm already into dadrock, I'm already planning on buying tons of #1 dad merch whenever I do become a dad, I already crack tons of stupid jokes. Its only a matter of time before I start wearing sandals with socks.

>>18451906
So be there. What's stopping you?

>>18451963
just become Randy Marsh

I might ask her out today. I hope it doesn't destroy me emotionally if she rejects me.

I know its not obvious but theres almost nothing left of me. I tried, everyday I keep on trying. Its just not gonna work anymore. Im tired I wanna go lie down and never wake up again.

>>18450641
Bleh

Thoughts one what I can do?

I'm tired.
I deeply regret opening up with you.
You're nowhere as smart as you think.
I didn't reply to your last message, and this was done on purpose. I'm putting some distance.
I plan to remain available because I don't really hate you. I'm not hurt. Not anymore, at least.
I'll be friendly, but distant.
Amen.

I found out a friend I recently made through mutual friends attempted to flirt and hook up with my boyfriend when she ran into him (before she knew about me), but she stopped when bf told her he had a gf.

Then she asked a mutual friend of mine (also before meeting me) to see pictures of me, asking how relationship with bf is, etc.

To make matters a little more confusing, when we became friends and started hanging out, she would frequently ask me about bf's dick size and performance in bed. When I wouldn't answer, she'd beg me to know.


We've been pretty good friends for a several months now. Now that I am kinda piecing her attitude together, I don't really know how to act around her. What do?

>>18449814
I'm the best in the world.

>>18452265
No one is that unique.

>>18452236
You're not as smart as you think, pal.

>>18451639
You're just digging your hole deeper by being the way you are. My affection goes elsewhere too you know. Say the word and I'm gone, but I know you won't.

I guess I should write you to remind you why you're alone.

>>18451911
Ahhh I can't wait to see him again!

>>18452236
I'm tired too. I also regret not opening up to you at all. The silence and obvious lies told me enough about the person you are. I'm hurt that I had to find out from some slut that you've been spinning bullshit.

This girl I'm really infatuated with probably stayed at this guys house last night. Hes like 13 years older than her too. Why am I in love with her? I hate her so fucking much, she makes me so angry and sad yet I can't get her out of my head.

Aylin i love you and want to have kids with you.

I feel so miserable
I feel horrible
I want to die
I want to die
Ugh

I don't know what to do.

>>18452480
Why?

>>18452497
I see no signs of any change no matter how much effort I put in.
I'm in a kind of a bad situation, but so I have been in years now, I'm just feeling a bit tired right now.

you guys haven't just been fucking with have you? Whats the fucking point?

please...

>>18452510
>I want to die because i'm feeling a bit tired
Dude get a new job or move somewhere else if it doesn't work where you are right now.

>>18452522
No, no, it's not related to that, it's just a bunch of health issues.
I'm obviously not going to get better so fast, I was just feeling worn out.
Thanks for replying anyways.

I just stayed in bed and cried all day today. I have no drive to do anything anymore.

PLLLEEEAASSSSEEEEEEE

I miss you so much. I know I mean nothing to you, and I will soon be forgotten as I have to sit back and suffer as you probably make someone else happy. I fell in love with you, and there's nothing I can do about that besides let it die in me. What a shame the way life works. If only I met you sooner, or perhaps later, we could sustain a chance to make this work. I failed. You failed too.

I'll never forget you. Never in my life had I met someone like you, and I know I never will again, but I would be lying if said I don't fall asleep smiling to the thought of you and all the nights we spent together. Those were the comfiest, best nights of my life. I never felt so close to someone before. You're funny, affectionate, smart, insanely sexy, and understanding. I want you to know how special you are, and I want to see you improve and get rid of all your insecurities because you don't need them. Yes, you're a bitch, but you also have another side of you that is amazing. You just need to work on it.

>>18450217
The fuck are you even going on about?

You're post makes you sound like a toxic pile of human refuse.

>>18450217
People can say whatever the fuck they want, doesn't mean a damn bit of it is true or hasn't been misconstrued to suite their purposes.

Dreams of mourning grief
Dreams of disbelief
Dreams of tragedy
Dreams of our disease
to take us all away
Dreams of fidelity
Dreams of inner peace
Dreams of loyalty
Dreams of unity
All gone
All gone

Even though I wrote my farewel letter I'm really sorry, but I have to go... I'm so tired...

>>18451603
KH?

>>18449814

Not a GIOYC prolly. But rather a sweet acknowledgment.

about 95% of my meet ups hang outs w friends are me going in my car, and i used to refuse going out if i had not my car available for many reasons. Until last night, i have been talking this girl from my faculty, im not wishing anything compromising and shes leaving to do her internship outside the country, aspiring to leave forever but wanted to not lose contact with me. I invited her to dinner in a cute(and one of my favorite places in my city) restaurant, but we went in public transport, and left in public transport.

It felt nice, it felt good, different, she is a cool girl, helped me pay(half/half)even though i said id do it, she knows what she wants for herself, for her family,she's decided, very cute physically and loves to laugh... we got along pretty well, but i dont know if i should go deeper, i know that if id wanted to, it would not be for now, since i must know her better (1 week only we have speaking though i know her from years ago).
But she will leave in 6 months once she finishes medicine pregrade and will go very far away... dont know what should i do about it, for now im cool, relaxed, but probably in the future i will think about it with her leaving coming closer each day

J,

I'm not sure I can keep fighting the urge to leave you much longer. I'm so sorry. I love you, and I want to be with you, but I'm not happy anymore.

There have been days where all you had to do was talk to me. That was it, it was so, SO simple. No other special requirements, I just needed you to talk to me just so that I wouldn't feel so alone and misunderstood. It could have been about ANYTHING, but you couldn't even do that for me.

There are times when I've just needed you to listen to me and hear my problems, but you're terrible at just listening. You either dismiss me, or you try to solve everything for me.

Leaving would absolutely kill me inside, but I've come to realize that it might be necessary. I love you so much J, and I know you love me, but not being able to even hold a simple conversation with you when we're miles apart sucks five million cocks. Something tells me that simple conversations with someone you love shouldn't be so fucking difficult, I'm sick of you blatantly ignoring me.

>>18452753
This J wouldn't happen to be a girl, would she?
This fits me so horrifyingly much, but I'm a dude who does all this.

Why are you so good damned far away? Do you need a buffer zone?

I hate what you've done to me, I didn't used to have unattainable dreams. Fuck my stupid brain for thinking of you.

I don't see anyway for us to ever meet again, you burned every bridge that connected us. I still don't understand why you would end it like this, but it's past the point of no return. You left a hole deep inside that will take a while to fill. I'm going to try and make something of myself and I hope you can pick yourself up out of that hole of debt and grief you'd been digging yourself into. Let's both find happiness and fulfillment in life and never look back. Goodbye my first love.

>>18452720
Nope, sorry.

>>18452758
Nope, my J is a guy.

>>18452761
That hole I left matches the hole in my heart you gave me. You point blank refused me, I was so fucking angry, sad and disappointed you wouldn't follow my lead. We could have achieved everything together.

I'm sorry for being so cruel to you. It's one of my only regrets in life. I'm working on things. Miss you

fuck you ok, im doing my job as best i can, im not giving anyone attitude, i always push deep and bite my tongue, im so goddamn tired of your shit, how in the fuck do you expect me to do better when you reduce my work hours? you cunt

>>18452863
I do not accept your apology. Stay away from me.

I'm sorry for misspend the only love I had in my life apart from the family one ;

I'm sorry for being so rude even if I only knew you in the internet
I'm sorry even if half of what you said was just easy lies for a innocent me
I'm really sorry for living about your appearance , you were ugly , but I didn't wanted to make you sad

I'm sorry , but you just added what I needed to corrupt me , and in the end it was my fault
I'm so sorry for being such a waste , being sad about my only love ever , being sad about meaningless chats

I'm so sorry , I'm sorry for being what I am
I'm sorry , I'm sorry for condemning my weak future to be empty , and even painful

I like you so much, but I barely know you. Why do I think about it every minute?

>>18452236
Initial?

>>18452855
You should have told me you still loved and wanted me instead telling me you thought I still loved you, especially after you cut me off for days and wouldn't give me any reason at all why you "couldn't do this" (have a relationship? move in with me?) and wouldn't specify if that meant right now or forever. You just gave me a blank look when I'd said I'd wait for you. You also threatened to call the police if I wouldn't leave when I said I needed an explanation why we couldn't be together, because you were my first and because you told me you loved me, I needed to know how I'd fucked up. You were also crying on the phone the night before and I was really worried. I wanted to be there for you, because that's the kind of relationship I wanted us to have, one were we can be honest and open with each other and depend on each other. I put myself out there for you and wanted nothing from you but your love and affection, but you just smashed my feelings to bits.

I also thought it was really unhealthy you didn't think of it as a suicide attempt. Those thoughts you were having at the time weren't healthy thoughts and most people don't drink bottles of Drano just because they're stoned. Please get better and stop letting people use you. Focus on your own happiness and fuck your family. I'd still take you back, but I know you won't make the effort to get in touch with me and I can't try anymore than I already have. This was what you wanted. I need to move on already.

>>18449814

I'm the last of my friends to not have a girlfriend (23 yo). I feel like I've been abandoned by those closest to me, and even though I know it's selfish to think this but I hate them for being happy because I'm not. I'm a 23 year old loser that's never had a girlfriend before because I've had major self-esteem and anxiety issues most of my life that I've never had the courage to face.

I don't solve problems, I get addictions. Cigarettes, porn, weed, video-games.

I don't know how longer can I keep hating myself.

>>18452236
You aren't the only one going through shit right now. I've done nothing but try to be a good friend. We are still playing this game but truly you dislike me. You're bored, lonely, and have few friends. I've always been infatuated with you. Let's just stop. You enjoy being alone in your castle, I'll enjoy freedom.

You can come get the things you have here.

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1 more week

1 more week of studying and I'm free.

Free to go to the gym, to play TCG's, to watch movies, to play vidya, to watch anime and shitpost about it inmediatly.

1 more week lads.

I want to be the girl that people look at and go "wow"
But I'll never be because i'm a lazy piece of shit and ugly and hate myself for it
I want to change but can't force myself to

I still love you, and I know you love me, but I don't know if we can come back from the mess we've made of our sex life and how bad you've made me feel. I know I've fucked up but I feel like you want an imaginary version of me that never existed, and you won't leave. I think I'm going to have to leave for me and for you if this doesn't get sorted out soon and I'm scared it's not going to.

please talk to me

>>18453002

Hello Anon.

I hope you have a nice day. If you're not having a nice day, treat yourself to something, like a movie and some food you'd like to eat.

Godspeed

>>18453007
will my day get better if I do that? I'm really really tired and I just want things to get better.

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>>18453032
If you're tired because you have done lots of stuff, then probably no.

If you're tired of life'n shit then probably. Take a day off to yourself. Have a jog(it really works man, jog the stress away), throw yourself to the grass under the sun, have the tastiest sip of park water you've had in years, go to watch a movie, treat yourself something good to eat, go hug a cat or a dog, and remember that you have the most comfy life out of ALL your ancestors. If you're going through tough shit in your house or personal relationships then distance yourself from it for a bit. I don't say you have to run away from home, but you can always stay outside and have a better time there if that's the case.

Comfiest life out of all your ancestors Anon-kun, remember that. All you're problems are probably meaningless in the long run. Just look ahead and do things the better you can.

Depression..its bad man ive had it ever since i got out the army my actions have lost my friends and family got involved in a motorcycle club and went downhill searching for the brotherhood ive lost now its all gone i see homeless and druggies and worry ill end up like them or just one day fade away or disapear im so lonely

S

I dreamed about you last night. I think it's because I saw a jar of Kashmiri curry simmer sauce on the shelf in the grocery store a few days ago. Triggered me. I also had it pretty bad a few months ago, when Kashmir made it to BBC/NPR with those jawan some rebels murdered. Don't worry, I looked up the real story -- fucking scum. I think my father doesn't trust NPR quite as much since I explained how they skewed that story.

Anyway, I searched the archive, and I found your letter to me in December. I hope you understand a little better now why I've made the choices I have, but I doubt it. It doesn't really matter. You never "dated" me and I never "dated" you. We were pen pals, you know, that's all you can be from the other side of the globe. Friends, maybe, but friends can offer a hug -- and you couldn't.

I'm happy now. I'm pregnant again, on purpose. We have our own place. I'm finally learning how to parent properly without my batshit insane mother interfering, and I won't be a crap mom forever. My daughter is so so so happy to be living with her mommy and her daddy. That's why I did it, you know. There's no other man on Earth who would make HER smile the way he does. I would never have felt comfortable dating in person until she was grown and moved out, and I could never have afforded to move out right now without a partner.

[con't]

>>18452791
>nope, my J is a guy
Oh my.
...well, I'm just going to go head and ask how many letters are in his name.

If more than 3, I'm not your dude.

I honestly love you, and I always will, even when I forget about you.

There were so many things that I didn't understand, I'm sorry.

I know you'll use this against me, because it's been so long, but it's okay because I love you. I love YOU in all caps, if that kind of differentiation means anything to you, I haven't been deceived into it even if you think I have. It doesn't matter what you do or what you say, whether you think it makes me pathetic or not, or if I never see you again.

Thanks for all the good times.

R

Today I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time. Felt weird but oh so right as to what i was loling at.

I met this gorgeous, sweet girl but I lied to her about my age and my relationship status.

I wish I could be with her instead. We haven't done anything, but she feels like my soulmate.

I keep looking at his pictures and melting. God please let me have this guy. I'm head over heels for him!

>>18453264
I'm here baby ;)

JESUS CHRIST, I'M A FUCKING JEW.

>>18453264
I feel the same way about my guy

Saint Mary, please me it so that he likes me back. I'm so crazily smitten with him.

>>18453285

Yeah, I get this.

I've always suspected because my last name has obvious Jewish roots, but recently decided to look it up. "ashkenazi".

Least I'm one of the smart ones.

But as a frequent /pol/ poster, can't help feel shitty about it. I don't want to be associated with the same kikes who push identity politics but then complain when people point out the shady shit people sharing their identity has done.
I don't want that.

Though this also alludes to a temptation to roll with it. Go to israel, try to get citizenship, get a good job and screw some jewesses with a rare exotic uncut kikekock.

I mean, realistically, I could milk their tribal nature for all it's worth. Can't deny there is temptation to become what I hate.

I want to buy a motorcycle but alas, I'm a poor college student with no income.

Well, I guess I quit on you.
Eventually that's the only move one can make.

I wish he would contact me again or come to see me. I know it's unhealthy to not move on yet, but I want to hope a little longer that he'd come around.

I asked my friends yesterday if they wanted to hit the beach today. After not responding all afternoon I decided I'd jyst go alone.
They replied around 8pm and that it sounds good. They'd text the time later.

Ended up waiting until 3pm today before I knew they bailed. And at this point it's too crowded to bother going.

What a waste of a day off. I'm thinking of ghosting them. I've long since felt I've outgrown their friendship.

I sometimes wish you'd stop trying to talk to me. The language barrier is just too frustrating to deal with. You get mad over the littlest things, and it gets annoying to see. I don't mind helping you when you need it, but you get mad when I don't understand you. With your broken English, I have to guess at what you want me to do, and when I guess wrong, you get mad at me. When I don't know how to do what you ask, you get mad at me. If I ask for clarification on what you said, you get mad at me. In the end, you get frustrated and tell me to go away. Things like this stick with me, and whenever you want to hang out I get hesitant because of this. It's why I'd rather just be alone than go out with you.

I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted.

what the fuck is wrong with you people. I just want to be loved

>>18452249
don't trust her. play it cool, but don't give her vital info. She sounds shady as fuck desu.

It's so hard to put into words sometimes what I feel. I suppose everyone feels like this sometimes, really. I miss you.

While my memories of you are overwhelmingly positive, they also come with a painful edge. You were wonderful and brought me a lot of happiness, not only a much loved grandfather but a loyal friend and my hero. It will be 13 years this year since you died. There hasn't been a day since where I haven't missed you, or not thought about you. You're always there, the conspicuous lack of you like a chronic wound. It's the quiet things that are the worst; even now after all these years I'll see something, do something, meet someone - and for a fleeting moment I imagine myself telling you all about it & waiting to hear what you'd say. But it's all fantasy. I could travel to every corner of the earth & I'd still never find you. There's nowhere in the world I could go to find you again; just photos with your face smiling at me from an ever more distant past.

Can't we go back?

>>18453314
I know.
It's like fucking that one woman your whole family hates with a burning passion, while she's the most fertile she could possibly be, and you know you don't want to end inside, but she talks you into it anyway.
And you know you're gonna be neck-deep in alimony.

I'm actually kind of proud of it. I suspected my heritage, though, because I always act like a stereotypical Jew when it comes to money and persuasion.
Helped me get laid, can't say I'm mad.

>>18450482
Some day I'll let you emerge into daylight again. Be patient, I just need some space.

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I moved to a different state when I entered the 10th grade (I live in the US). After the first day of school, I absolutely refused to go again. My mom got pissed at me, saying she's going to have to go to jail, threw water on me trying to get me up. I didn't go to school that day, but I did start going to school the next day.

Thinking back on it now, that was pretty evident of problems that I would eventually have as an adult. New schools/jobs and such would overwhelm me with so much anxiety that I would just stop going the next day. Going off on a tangent, my mom isn't perfect and she did make a lot of mistakes raising me and my siblings, but I do love her. However its experiences like that that shape the way I treat kids, and people in general. I'm really soft on people. When people are upset, I be patient with them and try not to be confrontational and angry.

However, I do have a lot of social anxiety, so when someone does need my help I tend to skirt the issue and run away unless its a medical emergency. If I can one day handle my anxiety really well, I wonder how many people I can help and support?

T,

I know you looked at my snap story then unfriended me. There's something unhealthy about the way I feel about you. Like I'm desperate for your attention, even though I don't like talking to you. I hope I forget about you. I'm sure I will. I've done it before.

T (different one),

I'm glad that you love my bf, but honestly you seemed a little obsessed with him today. Please back off a little. I don't want to become jealous.

I'm nervous about calling work. I had to go to the mental health unit for a night, probably should have stayed longer, but I haven't called them in a week. I applied for medicaid and SSI so I could work like 20hrs/week instead of 40, because I cannot handle it. I'm going to snap soon probably even if I'm eligible.

i miss you. i hate myself for it. you were awful to me, really cruel but all i can think about are the nights you stayed on skype reading to me so i could rest easy. my anxiety would ebb away. i miss the times before things got weird again. when we could talk and id have butterflies in my belly from hearing your voice. but then things went the way they always do, and each call became sexual and i knew i had a performance to stick to. these are your lines, say them clearly, daddy's good girl. all i wanted was for you to be my friend, my confidante, my love. but i think having that intimacy was too much? i dont know, but you always seemed to think treating me like a sexual object was easier. i loved you so much for understanding me and looking after me. i wanted to look after you too. i love you devotedly and will forever think of you every single day for the rest of my life. i love you, but it isnt enough.

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>>18453663
People like yourself need to be appreciated

About three years ago, I made a roll thread on /b/. That day the Internet got to see a sharpie in my pooper. Sometimes I wonder if anyone still has the pics from that thread...

>>18452996
What did you mess up?

>>18450293
The way you describe her is like as though you're describing the love of your life. Sorry to hear that she's married.

Why the fuck am I still here?

I've been stretching myself thin for this asshole who is supposed to be my friend but is hiding something from me. On top of that he pretty much blames me for all his problems but anytime I bring up moving he turns into an asshole and acts like I'm abandoning him or fucking him over.

I think I need to get out and put some distance between us. He is obviously not the friend I thought he was if he is willing to lie to me and shit for his own well being/gain.

>>18453787
Ask him straight up whats up.

If a gun magically popped out of nowhere on my desk I would shoot myself without thinking twice.

>>18453795
Have.

All I get is guilt tripping and gas lighting.

Been going on for a while and I'm getting to my breaking point.

>>18453193
>>18453193
>>18453193

This is life, this is making the best choices available. What I was doing before was living in fantasy land, and YOU, part of that fantasy, were certainly not the best choice for my life, but... in a way, you were. You were the right choice for what I needed, which was self-growth.

You taught me a lot, with our arguments. I'm still wearing that "stupid rag" on my head, and I feel safe walking around the city for the first time ever. I initiate sex with him at least every 3 days even when I don't want it, and our relationship gets stronger every time I do. He has stopped watching porn and he doesn't talk to any women other than me, his co-workers while he's there, and his one childhood best friend who I've always thought was OK. I was so right about his other "best friend" I've always hated, who was also his ex... as soon as he cut ties with her and made it clear it was for good, she hooked up with the guy she'd been turning down for years.

After that dream last night, on my walk home from work today, I asked myself "Am I happy with the choices I made? Really happy? Nothing else I would have preferred?"

I thought of my daughter shouting "family hug" several times a day... and whispering "Thank you for working so hard so we could live here with Daddy" at bedtime. I was able to answer myself confidently: "Yes. Yes, this is where I want to be."

Z

L
It was nice hanging out with you tonight.
I can't decide whether I'm interested in you or we just vibe really well as friends. You're a really good guy but I don't want to date you just because I'm lonely. I want to date someone because I genuinely want to be with them.
And right now after everything's happened I can't make that decision.
I do really like you.
A

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I just lost my virginity today and went in 3 inches. I'm about 6.75 to 7 inches. is that ok? she seemed to like it

I thought we where friends but you don't seem to care about it. We have stop talking and even when we do, there is no interest on your part.

If youare just simply bored of me, say so, you just make things worse

Tonight's not so bad. I post in here a lot about how I can't enjoy things, but to be honest, that's not 100% true. Most days, it might as well be, but I'd say around once a week, I have a nice night where things line up well and I can almost feel things like a normal person. It's pretty cool is all.

>>18453860
For example, I've been playing Dark Souls a lot lately, and I beat one boss (Pinwheel) the first time I encountered him. And the sheer rush matched with the excitement of its presentation thrilled me. By now, people seem pretty unmoved by Souls bosses due to playing 4-5 games with them, but it was really cool to see, and gives me hope for the future.

I joined some groups where we are supposed to be honest and share our feelings and experiences without being judged. But it sucks, I still feel like I'm gonna be judged no matter what. I said stuff today that probably made me look like someone you wouldn't wanna be around.
Every time a group or a person says that, that you *should* feel free to speak what you feel and share, because they can listen and won't judge, it's always bullshit, right?

>>18453795
Like seriously he blames me for him getting fired from his job (he was always talking about stealing their customers to start his own business and it got back to the bosses), he blames me for him filing bankruptcy which i cannot even begin to umderstand and probably a bunch of other shit I don't even know about.

I don't see any other option than to move out and put some distance between us. If i lose him as a friend well he didn't turn out to be that great a friend in the first place, right?

>>18453875
In your case definitely I would agree, or tell him that he really needs to get help for his issues if he wants to remain friends.

>>18453898
I also suspect that he was secretly fucking with me to spike my anxiety issues and whatever the fuck else is wrong with me to the point that I felt like an animal backed into a corner and ended up making some bad decisions that really fucked up my personal/professional life. At the same time he has helped me get jobs even though they were kinda shitty in their own ways. It's like a double edged sword. He's done good and bad, but I think the bad out weighs the good.

By the way, thanks for responding and being someone to bounce these thoughts off of cause it's been bothering me for a long while now.

>>18453898
And as far as the hiding shit here is an example.

Overheard this convo between my 2 room mates.

Rm1 just tell him what he wants to know

Rm2 if I do he won't want to live with me anymore.

That's what I mean by lying to me for his own benefit/well being.

>>18453898
On top of all that shit if I leave he has no where to go.

>>18449814
I feel kinda weird about double texting people in the first few days of exchanging numbers. Especially if it's a girl. I know sometimes you have to do it if you want to keep a conversation going (like 2 hours ago when I didn't add a question like "so what are you up to tonight?" to my reply, and the convo just ended, too late to change things now). idk why I'm even worked up about it, she's just another intern and I probably won't see her ever again after this summer.

>>18453898
But I've already stated that if I can't find a higher paying job by the end of the month that I have to put in my notice to vacate and move back home and start over in a new profession if I'm ever gonna make enough money to not only pay off my debt but to start saving for my future. I'm already on a late start as far as that is concerned.

Wish I was smarter/taught better about money and the things you want it for when you get older. I could've taken a completely different route through life and have my own house and no financial problems.

>>18453963
Damn anon that sucks to hear, I think you should really just corner him and demand he is straight up with what is really going on or you will fuck off.

I loved her, I really did. Back in grade school I thought it was just hormones taking over, but after she moved away in HS i couldn't get her out of my head. I would talk to her on the phone while she was crying saying she wanted to come back. I could never just fucking say what I wanted to to her. Now it seems I'll never see her again. I really hope I can forget and move on with life.

>>18453983
Is it even worth it at this point?

The damage has been done and I have co fronted them about it multiple times.

If I was just crazy they would have gotten rid of me as far as I can figure, so I bet they are willing to keep up the lies no matter what because he has no where to go if I leave.

I shouldn't even care but I do and that's what makes this a difficult situation for me. Maybe if they were honest with me about shit I could forgive them but not knowing wtf it all is/was how can I forgive anything?

Only thing I can figure is my course of action of leaving is the right one. I've been patient and given them plenty of chances to come clean. And that convo I overheard is incriminating enough. Continuing to live with someone I feel I can no longer trust is taking a toll on my mental health as well so I guess that kinda says it all.

Thank you again for your responses.

Usually all I get is a bunch of troll bullshit respones.

>>18452963
Not OP but burn it or throw it away

This experience has reminded me of something. You never were my friend, or my partner. Like all your friends I was a source of entertainment to you, not a friend. You only started acting like a friend when it benefited you. Years ago, you constantly got mad at me when ever I wanted some of your time back when we were friends. Hell, you did that to your friends when we were dating too. You constantly got upset if they asked to hang out or do something you didn't feel like doing. You only started being nice to me after S started dating so he was not able to spend all his time with you, you got nicer still when no one else would tolerate your depression but me. At that time you said I was your best friend. Then when S died and everyone else drifted away from you we became really close.

Looking back on everything I have ever known about you; honestly, you have a perverted sense of what being anything to anyone is. All relationships, be they a friendship, a co-worker, or partner require mutual exchange. You never give into this mutual exchange for anyone unless; that exchange does not inconvenience you, is what you want to do anyway, or it is for a person you can latch onto for support. Your friends are only your friends so long as they don't cause you to be inconvenienced, or do what you want.
(1/2)

>>18454007
I ignored all this foolishly, but I know I should've seen it sooner. The way you ended our relationship showed me that even people you claim to be special to you have no real value to you. You ended our relationship by cheating on me, and then lying to my face that you still wanted to be with me. When asked why you decided to end our relationship spanning years in this manner instead of just breaking it off; you simply stated, "because I didn't feel like I was in a relationship, and when someone who is better comes along I am going to take it because that is what I want." You then had the nerve to ask to be my friend, and you tried to justify what you did as being normal. I am sorry, just because the guy you cheated on me with told you it was normal behavior that does not make it so. Nor am I manipulating you, or guilt tripping you when I express anger and frustration over what has transpired. I was only special because you depended upon me as a crutch for the happiness missing in your life, much like you are doing now with the guy you cheated on me with. I failed to deliver what you wanted fast enough, so I was disposable. Yet you want to keep me around as a 'friend' just in case I can be useful again.

You say you want to be a kind person but the reality is you are an entitled selfish person, you only have ever cared about others when it benefited you or when caring was something trivial to do. The real sad thing is that it isn't even your fault, you are unable to care about other people because you hate yourself and you use anything to temporarily fill that void instead of addressing your issues. Get help, you shouldn't be in any relationship at all until you can sort out your issues. The scary thing is I don't hate you like I should. I still want to be in a relationship with you, and get you the help you need because there are many times where you can be a good person. You just need serious help to get there.
(2/2)

You are just a tiny little bean right now, a giant head with some semblance of a budding body. You are so little and new to me, we don't even have a name for you yet. But if I could share one thing with you, it's that you are already loved and so wanted. I know the world here is dark and scary at times, I know that things aren't perfect. But I'll do everything in my power to protect you from the darkness, as much as I can without stunting your growth. I love you little one, and I can't wait to meet you.

My face is sore. Tomorrow is the last day of my dnp cycle. Eight days from now is my birthday. Please be gentle with me. Thanks for stopping by

>>18454021
didnt' know what this was. you realize that by just running a calorie deficit and light exercise you should be able to drop 2 pounds a week without poisoning yourself right?

>>18452670
>>18452680
the irony.

I want to scream, but I'm at work and don't want to draw attention to myself.

Lost my virginity to an escort today. She was also my first kiss. It was honestly not as much as I had built it up to be.Sure getting to cum inside her was cool (with a condom of course) and getting to try all the positions was neat but all in all I over hyped sex in my mind all these years. Now I feel much less pressure to get a girlfriend and get laid when its really not as much as I thought. Then again, I hear sex sans condom is like 10x better so I'm probably just ignorant as fuck.

>>18454102
Yes, condomless sex is way better. But what makes sex incredible is when you share an emotional connection with your partner, otherwise you're just fucking a wet hole and it's barely better than masterbating.

>>>>18454041
irony1
[ahy-ruh-nee, ahy-er-]
noun, plural i·ro·nies.

the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

Read a dictionary.

>>18454019
Congratulations!! You'll be a wonderful parent!

>>18454122
what is, situational irony.

as far as reading a dictionary goes, I have just about the most voluminous vocabulary here. I regularly find that I'm using words that don't even exist in 4chan's autocorrect dictionary. I think I'm good thanks, lol.

I think I'm going to throw up. Obviously something is off here. Why are you asking to begin with? If it was innocent, would you even think twice about it? Why didn't you just do it? Why did I come to your mind? I think it's because something was going on that shouldn't have been...

>>18454151
Then maybe you're comment should have read...

"Oh the situational irony"

>>18454113
It was way better than bating, I can tell you that much.

I'm really sorry. it's going to hurt, and I'm not going to watch. I can't watch any more pain for others. I've learned I can't stop the knife from falling unless I have absolute control of the strings of fate and free will and then what would life be?

I'm preemptively sorry and disappointed in the outcome and in the pain it's going to cause.

and then there's this other person in front of me on the daily that is so full of pain that i can't help. all I ever wanted was for all the pain to stop. without it there would be only stagnation though. sometimes my abilities aren't any fun.

I spent a few days at corporate training and the amount of pain in this one guy I met there... it was just barely under control and every now and again it would show on his face, hell in the furrow in his brow; occasionally it would slip from his mouth, subtle and unnoticed by almost everyone but me it seemed. and there was nothing I could do. there are people that think I'm unempathetic, my problem is that if I didn't turn it off at times I would simply weep for the pain some people have. there are times when I wish I could meet someone like me that could read me, but that would cause them pain and so I hide it all away purely for the eventuality of that chance encounter.

there's something I want off my chest. I gotta go for a drive.

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>>18454151
>lol

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I fucking hate using Tinder but I have no choice as I am not a bar person nor do I have any game picking a girl up the usual way. My hobbies aren't female oriented (or even people oriented at times) and my work doesn't make me meet eligible singles. So I'm forced to use it.

Aside from the FUCKING CUNTS using a dating/sex app to make friends, which I wish would die slowly from dysentery, I hate the ones who take 2 days to reply with a few sentences while you always have to write paragraphs because dear me, you can't be fucking boring or she'll go away instantly! On top of that it's even worse when those few sentences just keep buttering you up so you feel like you might be getting somewhere (cause a girl will do a lot of shit she normally wouldn't put up with if she likes you).

I fucking hate this app and despite the extremely hot pieces of ass I managed to go balls deep in and call me daddy or a beast, the amount of entitled, dumb and infuriating cunts I have to wade through has made me 1000% more misogynistic. Females, educate your own before I have to.

>>18454176
see there's a reason that my brief thought of, "oh I'll use tinder to find a gf" was brief. plus it requires facebook, fuck facebook.

>>18454178
I'm using it to find a steady girl myself but I don't say no to good pussy. I thought I got close with a few but they lost lost interest soon after.

One thing I'll give it props for is that girls who aren't inclined to go out (nerdy socially awkward qts who like art and science who don't drink or party) sometimes use it cause it doesn't require you to leave the house. Dated two such girls.

M,

Why the fuck do you think you're helping? Go fuck your whore ass and going home with rich tall guys. I wish your disease killed you.


C,
Fuck you for fucking up my goddamn car. I've got enough problems without looking like some poor ass nigger in Vegas. Can't you and K just die already? I could use the insurance and I want to sell all of your shit because you guys don't mean anything ot me. You abused me for fucking 30 years and NOW you expect me to give a fuck about either of you? Eat shit. Also fuck you niggers for saying you'll take care of my pets when I'm gone. Because you haven't. Both look fucking sick.

Fuck you govt,

You goddamn know what you did. To hell with you and your terrible citizens. Wasting my time like this and fucking keeping me from shit. You should have let me die when I was 8.

Dear God,
Please kill me. You're shitty mindgame playing freaks disgust me and are projectionists of the highest order. But who knows, they are probably just as morally bankrupt as you.
Fuck you nigger,
-W

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I want to believe I like you.
In a week maybe I'll like someone else.
I've liked you three or so times now.
I want to think you're at least a little interested.
You're in a higher league though, been with better people. Probably.
You're probably into someone else right now, aren't you?
Either way, I've got nothing. The closest we've been to each other is sitting next to mutual friends of mutual friends. The longest conversation we've had was, what, three lines on snapchat?
Do I really like you? Or just the way you look? You do look good. People know it. People agree. I don't think you need a reminder.
I'd like to remind you.
You got pretty eyes. Pretty hair. Pretty body. Not cute, sexy; pretty. Genuinely pretty. I want to hold you, lead you, follow you. Touch you.
I'm not the same. Far from pretty. I haven't let go but I'm holding on by my pinkies. I'm out of shape, irresponsible, lazy and sad; apathetic. Wish you could listen. I need your advice. Please listen
Please talk to me

>>18450774
>these are the retarded faggots who support the downfall of Europe
I can promise you that we'll wipe out all of you shitskins before we go out.

>>18450274
Break up with her bro, otherwise you'll ruin your life and then hers

Yes, I get it. I know Im young and I should travel, do funny shit and stuff. But this is getting to my nerves. I didn't born in a rich family, I live in my mom's house, I have clothes, food and a family. I'm really happy with this, I don't feel like I need anything else, but for some reason people keep saying: "wow man you should really need to relax and and have fun". Like what the actual fuck. I have money, but I invest it in education. I spare some of my free time doing some exercise (I'm not fit, but I do it because it makes me feel happy), I don't own a car (for now), I have learned some languages, I have some good friends yet despite all of this I still get that stupid shit about doing stuff.

I do not want to leech my mom's resources just to do all of those activities, I want to work hard to get them, because it's my god damn responsability. Yes I want to do them, but with my own money. I will not take advantage of my mother just to have some free stuff. Hope people know that I am sacrificing to much to get what I want. As it should be.

H

You're the first one I actually cared for, further than just lust. Yet it will never happen. And I don't think I can survive this again. I'm getting older, and I'm getting tired of being too fucked up for people. I have one last thing I want to do before I'm done. Which sadly means tomorrow night will be the last time I see you. I really did wish for something more, but I can't keep doing what I'm doing. I'm too tired.

K

the sound of thunderstorms is so soothing.

I think now is the time to go to sleep before it passes.

I'm 28 and I have never in my life successfully picked up a woman. I've had relationships and I've had sex, but every single time it was the girl who came on to me. I don't know why but I've become terrified of asking girls out. I flirt just fine, but when the time comes to ask for a number, I freeze up. Even when I'm positive a girl likes me, I freeze.

I once had a crush on a girl at work for a year. We actually got pretty close and even hung out outside of work a few times. It became well known at work that we liked each other. Then, she moved to the other side of country. She told me she was always confused why I never asked her out.


Why am I such a pussy?

I'm going to finally off myself. Like I should have long ago. I'm a failure. A worthless piece of trash. You saved me back in January but now it all came undone. I've got one thing left to do then I'm jumping from my old colleges parking garage as a fuck you to my school. Fuck this life. I'm done.

Kyle

>>18451846
>I'm 18
pfffthahahahahaha

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I've stalked her. All her friends. Acquaintances. I've saved the few photos she has allowed herself to put on the internet. She's so kind. So unique. I'm in love and I know that physically or morally this love will never, ever be fulfilled. There's a wall. An unbreakable, daunting wall. I will never share any moments with her. She will never be with me. I know it, so why beat myself up with it? I've saved all the pictures I found of her. I don't know why, I don't even jerk off to them. This morning I had luscious thoughts after her body. I didn't feel guilty afterwards. The pain is only most profound when I realize how lonely I will be, and how fulfilled and nice she will be...without me.

Real men usually get emotional after a break-up. Me? I'm such a "nothing" I get emotional after a rejection. And how much of a freak am I to "fall in love" like this, huh? Why am I so fucking sad like that with no damn good reason..?

>>18449814

I wish I was born a girl, I wish the world was perfect, I wish I wasn't stuck like that, I wish I wasn't scared of everything. I wish I coild really love you, and not just fight for my pleasure and follow my evolutionary instincts. I wish I could feel purely and innocently.

I can't, and I should kill myself, but it doesn't matter, none of it. This place is just shit, and everything and everyone is just not good enough for me. I want so much more than this.

I want to escape my mind, my anxiety, my ocd, and just be able to drown myself in all of that, certain that I have a reason to do this.

I want to just burst, jump off a building and burst into thousand little molecules. I want to mean something. I want to be sure I'm right. I want to do this right.

I want to be an innocent girl in love, in an unreal, beautiful world, not this, not here, not with those feelings. I wish I had a gun, or a high enough cliff. I wish I could not be distracted.

I wish everything was better. I wish I was better. But everything's fucked from the start.

You ruined hopes and dreams
You stole my home
And broke my heart and you dont even know why and all you can say to me is sorry?

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>>18451846
Those feels hurt. I can completely understand you, though. I'm 18 as well. I doubt you'll ever see this, but if you want to talk I'm always there. The causes may be different but I feel just like you. Apathy, anhedonia, depression. I too used to be a better person than I am at the moment. I too wonder how we're supposed to finish this life when at our age most people are still young and buoyant with energy and will. I too feel like an old man, feeding on TV dinners every night I spend at home, not doing anything, not partying, not even studying. All that since this fucking 2017 year began.

I get it that older people will look at posts like this and tell us we have a lifetime of possible accomplishments in front of us. And that it's still early and that we can still remedy to our situation. I'd say the same to my 12 or 15-year-old self. But the amount of perceived problems we have, and the daunting challenge of what is to come, and the knowledge that we COULD change things but we CAN'T is the worst part, honestly.

>>18454526
Betrayal is a common feeling, it's not the end of the world, and you NEVER know for sure and specifically the other person's intentions and feeling. Try to forgive and move on.

>>18454523

Nobody is born perfect. Yes, the world is a shit place, but there is happiness here too. It can be pretty difficult, but everyone have the power to surpass it; try connecting more to your friends or make new ones, talk with them, talk with your family, get help, help yourself, be open and sincere and believe that once you know people good enough, they'll be happy helping you.

>>18454515
It's not about her, it's about you. She doesn't make these feelings, your mind does.

>>18454462
Is the way you've learned, there's nothing really wrong with it, just take some opportunities away. Being confident and outgoing is not that difficult, try expanding your social circle, meeting people in groups and talking to them, groups put less pressure and gives an opportunity to increase your confidence in speaking with other people.

>>18451846

Same here, from 13 to 21 now. All the things I can actually feel are just sad or painful now.

A
Sometimes I over react, get clingy, out of control as you say. I'm not like that with other people. Idk why I've always been so infatuated with you. I deleted your contact info, again. Do you have any idea how many times I've done that? You don't want me, most of the time I doubt if you even like me. You claimed to care once but until recently, you never took any interest in me. Our relationship was very one sided. When we hang out you actually learn things about me now. Still very one sided but I noticed that you've asked me a couple things.

I don't think our friendship is healthy for me. I'm sorry, it isn't fair that I can't get me emotions in check. You've got some work friends now. I'm sure at some point you'll start dating one of them and go away anyway. So let's just cut the BS and call it quits. You won't get annoyed at me and I will feel pointedly less crazy.

>>18449814
Browsing 4chan has actually improved my life, regardless of the endless hours of entertainment I've learned about new games to play, anime to watch and, most importantly, I've found out what is frowned upon and changed it about myself.

>>18454542
>She doesn't make these feelings, your mind does.
Isn't that the basic concept of love? forget it tbch. I'll make any excuses to continue being such a pathetic creature.

>>18453856
Some women aren't deep.
But shit man, 3 inches sounds suspicious, no matter how you look at it.
That's barely finger length.

If she enjoyed it, and you enjoyed it - there's nothing wrong with it.

>>18453870

Pinwheel is the easiest boss in DkSI, unless you did them at the beginning, in which case, mad kudos

>>18454542

It's not that. I know it's decent, great even. But I'd like more, more meaning in everything. Love that is somehow more than biology, and happiness through more than pleasure. I'd like a world where you can be selfless without being mad, to have a reason to be good and not just go for pleasure. And it's impossible, and it doesn't matter, but I can't help feeling it should, and I can't live like that.

Sorry if I don't make sense, I don't know how else to say what I feel and think.

Fuck this world and sex. Sex has ruined my life

I thought I had the strangest dreams.

Until I came to the realization that they weren't dreams at all.

>>18455035
And then they stopped being strange and now it's like being suffocated on all sides
Or maybe they're the same as they've always been and I just don't appreciate them anymore

I just got cucked in a dream I had last night by the niggeriest of niggers. I'm absolutely fucking livid because I think this is going to happen. Fucking hell I hate my mind so goddamn much

Is this a sign?

>>18455148
Yes. A sign to stop browsing /pol/ and /r9k/.

Hey C. I like you, but you're moving away in a year and I can't get myself to make a move and ask you out. I really want to let you know how I feel, but I just can't seem to gather the courage and stop thinking about how it would just be a waste of time. I hope I can tell you one day, before you leave.

>>18453849
>>18453193
Funny, I haven't been on this board for months, and I just came here to vent about my problems with a girl I very much like. And there it is -- your letter. Okay, let me say something.

I will never understand your choices because they don't seem sensible to me. Firstly, your momentary happiness is nothing but a mark of abuse, and secondly, calling me your "pen pal" shows how much of a piece of shit you are. I was just your rebound and your emotional baggage, accept that. Just look at yourself; I pity people like you. You have serious issues( hope you're not still cutting?), and you are no better than your insane mother. You gave me enough suffering and honestly, I needed it. I am a better person now, and I have someone who listens to me and understands me. As for the rest of your bullshit story, go fuck yourself.

And also, I am not attracted to H, that was just to piss you off. I fulfilled your wish -- you wanted me to hate you, and I did it; hence, our last email conversation. Fuck you and your happy family. Here's an exercise for your today: look into the mirror and introspect, you'll see what kind of crazy monster you are.

Yours truly,

Scum like my uncle and the guy who raped me.

>>18450111
I love you. I will always love you but not choosing to be with me because of the money situation is ridiculous. We've done it before. We can do it again. Come get me and I'll never look back. Just me, you and the boys...8..

>>18450281
I'm ready. Let's go.

I hate my family, anyone like this? I need to get my shit together so I can leave

I'm sorry I was such an insecure little bitch, but you didn't open up to me even though we spent a long time talking and you knew me better than I knew you, that upset me and I never knew when is the right time to ask, you made it seem like its all my fault but I'm not sure if that's fair to say. At the end I pushed it too far, we had to end it, I learned from that mistake and I won't make it again. At the same time I think it was for the better, we were too far apart and in the future we'd be even further, this wouldn't work and for the first girl I was dating I'm glad it was you, at least you were nice and understanding and didn't make me feel like a complete fuck up. Wish you were a bit more open with me and told me what you wanted, then maybe I would've committed more and this would've worked despite the distance, but how could I trust you when you weren't telling me things and asked ME about them expecting answers? you can't just know someone, play it safe and leave me hanging when I wanted to know YOU, how am I suppose to know if I like you? I suppose it was better to call it off now when its fresh, than much later when it would hurt more. You said you wanted to have fun and didn't want a relationship because you're only in your early 20's, then you said you might if you like me, but how would that work if you didn't let me like you, get to know you? You were nice about it in the end, still I feel bad about being insecure but you led me to it at times, the only comfort I do find is in the fact the distance would eventually split us up, which would hurt a lot, this wasn't meant to be it seems. You seemed perfect in a lot of ways, but then you expected me to be ok with too many things and you wouldn't be ok with some of my problems. Lesson learned, now its time to forget and move on, I just need to stop replaying that scenario in my head, its over, no "what ifs", life goes on, hope you're doing well, hope you find someone nice, I'll try to do the same.

>>18452753
It's just that I'm not the kind of guy who holds a conversation well, especially not with you.
I fuck my words and comprehension up when I'm around you. That, and it looks like you're busy with everyone else, so why should I dare bother you? You know? So, I back the fuck off and let you be.
I dismiss you because I'm pissed off or I just can't speak to you because you look busy. I solve shit because I was only really built to do that.

You know I won't be that far from you, but it does suck massive cock to not see you again. I will miss you, and it will be sad when I'm away, but if I don't get on this gravy train now, then I'll only be stuck in my personal hell. I'd love to listen along and at least make you feel loved and warm, but it's been so long since I loved it's as though I forgot to love at all.

You know where I am and where I must be. I have a feeling someone must've given it away already. Either way, sorry. Hope we rekindle sometime soon.

>>18453205
You're good. J's name has seven letters lol.

>>18454812
Agreed. For some people it's not such an issue but for some, like myself, it's a nightmare. For some sex is like one of those beaded curtains from the 70's, you just slide in and slide out (metaphorically). For others it's like a barbed wire fence, you get to it and get out of it and you're ripped to shreds.

>>18454148
This made me cry. And congratulations from me as well. You don't know true love until you have a child.

Idk what the fuck you want be direct

>>18455301
A lot of families suck and nobody likes to admit it

The other night a 60 year old man told me that his new girlfriend is 63 years old and has MS. He said it was the best sex of his life. BEST SEX OF HIS LIFE. Even tho the dude was kind of an asshole, still I found this very touching.

Dear joe,

Did you finally fix yourself and mature a bit? Sober up maybe? I'm still mad at you though so dont get your hopes up.

-The chemical reaction like a fungus in your brain.

>>18451095
What did yours do?

>>18455495
So it iiiissss possible to have great sex past our prime years. Nice!

I thought I've moved on. 6 months passed by, and just today I burst up into tears. Shit. 7 years dude, how could you cheated on me. And here I am sitting and thinking that youre still the best. Fml

Wish it didn't take anywhere between 3-5 hours for painkillers to kick in.

My dad just did something nice and considerate for the first time after 3 years.

Sometimes I hate her.

I hate how she just tells you that you need to just get over it and move on instead of letting you vent just to get your frustration out.

I hate how she's forgetful and thoughtless sometimes when she misplaces your things.

I hate how she tells you that some of the things you like are dumb or calls you a nerd for being excited about something. Or thinks that the things you find funny are stupid.

I hate how she demands all of your time and you do everything that she wants even when you hate it, but she never does anything that you want to do. I hate how she takes your time away from me and our other friends when we only get to hang out in party chat maybe once a week for a couple hours if we're lucky.

I hate how she controls you. She has a way of manipulating you so you convince yourself that her way is always right. She misplaced your parking pass? No, you must've done it. That music you were listening to sounds stupid to her? I guess you don't like it after all. No, you can't apply for that job that you really want because she doesn't want you to. Yes, she's going to apply for that job in NY because she wants to even though it would mean you'd have to move back to the East Coast.

You'll never finish those shows you started with her because she got bored of them but does not want you to finish them without her. You'll pass up movie night invitations to wait to see something with her, but she ends up seeing that movie without you anyway.

You do all of this amazing shit for her because you love her but I have to wonder what she does for you. I can tell why you fell in love but I wonder what's keeping you going. You don't talk about her much besides your plans with her or those frustrating things about her. To me, she's just a fixed point in your life.

I don't know. I guess you like that sort of person, but I don't. Just don't let her change you. Don't let her carve away what makes you special into a template that will fit her needs.

I'm terrible with group conversations. I'm okay with 1 on 1 conversations but whenever there is 4 or more I always end up listening way more than talking. Rarely I'll chime in but then I back out of the convo just as fast.
An old friend of mine back in high school jokingly called me a social ninja because of this.

But really I wish I could have a "squad" of really close friends but if I'm just silent the majority of the time people don't invite me to things but the only friends I can manage are acquaintances I casually chat with on campus.

Too much truth I suppose

>>18454782
I would've went further but my angle at that moment and lack of proper lubrication (I used cocoa butter lotion and water of all things). At least I learned a few things from there. I just got to work with my downward curve a little better. I'm just glad I'm not a virgin anymore

>>18455620
Fucking crazy, isn't it?

>>18455644
>I used cocoa butter lotion
>and water
May God bless your soul for making me smile for the first time in days.

Want a tip that'll make sex easier and better for the both of you? Spend more time playing around with her body next time. You don't even have to go down on her (although you should if she likes it), just touch her the right way, rub your body against her body, gently tickle her, kiss her in all the sensitive places.
If you do it right, you'll have no problem with lubrication and depth.

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I went through my brother's stuff looking for weed to steal because he's been a prick lately and I found a suction cup dildo.

Not sure what to think, but I'm surprisingly unphased by it.

Fuck this shit I'm going to see what is possible. If you can do what you're doing, then I should be able to do it too.

>>18455675
Some girls like a little extra action down there, ya know?

>>18455665
actually she was pretty wet, I think it's me. I made sure to go down on her good and everything. I think my dick's erect shape ( a noticeable diwn curve) is why I was bending the more I pushed. but you're right, getting her wet is important.

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Very important reminder for anons to never date anyone with borderline personality disorder. I did and it is the only time I have ever considered myself to have been emotionally abused by anyone.
When she was in a good mood, she would be the sweetest, kindest, and most fun person I've ever been with. She made me feel as if no one had really understood the way I feel until I had met her. At a point, I was effectively dependent on her and the way she made me feel. But when she was in a bad mood, she would treat me like dirt, and say the most cruel things she could imagine. The only way to get her to switch back would be to apologize and shower her with affection for days. The worst part is that if I told her about something she had done to upset me, she would not only act offended, but flip the blame entirely onto me, again saying horrid, nasty things, until I had suitably grovelled back into her good books. The constantly flipping emotions (both from her and myself) was a pretty strong impetus for me to go back on the anti-depressants I'd been off for over a year. But I was so obsessed with her due to the aforementioned sweetness that this happened several times before I cut her off entirely.
Looking back, I can tell that all her kindness was just her acting on some whim, trying to coerce me into giving her what she wanted, whether that was just affection or just a brief respite from loneliness. I don't think she ever had feelings for me.
The worst part is that even now, knowing that she has treated me like shit, there's still a part of me that misses her, or at least that first part of our relationship. Please learn from my mistakes.

>>18456029
Anon, I fell ya >>18454007

I told my sister, who is mental, that i'm an assassin. She really thinks that that's what I do to be so successful in my life.