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So, my family raised me with the mindset that I had to be the best at whatever I did, avoid mistakes like hell, especially the same they did. As such, I grew up a competitive and critical asshole, even though I've never been a brag.
I'm about to go 20 this year, one year until I get my degree, a good starter job, good grades and all that. Yet I have been observing people since I've began to be more extroverted and I realize people all around me are full of defects and they just don't care, even though they know it.
I feel as if I have been competing only with myself for all these years, and I don't want to be a critical asshole since I feel that would damage my ability to like and be likeable to people. What should I do?
Also, I found out a lot of good looking guys around here (Chad tier) are turning out to be gay. I guess that's a good thing on the dating scene right? Less Chads means more single girls?
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>>18449397
I was raised the exact same way. A competitive over achiever in attempts to impress my parents. My dad insisted that my sister and I had genius level IQ's and my mom wanted us to succeed in any extra curricular we did.
Man, did going to college really fuck me up. Despite succeeding in everything I tried in in high school, my attempts to be top of the line in college were, mostly, thwarted. If I was doing great in a class, my peers were really relaxed and wondered why I tried so hard, some were even mean, some group projects led to me doing all the work. In classes where I struggled or someone outshone, I'd be literally crushed.
In my job, there is someone even more competitive than I am. And this severely strains the way my supervisors look at me. She seems to be able to manipulate and show off in just the right ways to not show her competitiveness but also win the hearts of those around her.
I've realized that I should have put more effort into understanding I am not special and dealing with loss. While I don't want to blame anyone, my parents put so much pressure on trying to convince me and my sister we were prodigies. While I am happy that their attitudes were out of love, it really fucked me up in the long run.
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weird, my parents raised me to just do whatever you can. my competitiveness and ability to excel was largely my own doing. I did shit in highschool, academically speaking, because of depression and my gf at the time doing some stuff that just broke my ambition. college was so much better but the recession hit and I couldn't go because there were no jobs and my family never saved shit for my college education. now I excel in almost everything I do. I'm doing better than most my age, in a few years I plan on essentially being set.
my advice, keep getting better, but also get better at social stuff. fuck not being excellent. why would you limit yourself?
oh, also, learn to be able to not take yourself too serious while still being able to take everything serious. does that make sense?
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