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Anonymous
Help with Compromise 2017-06-23 06:59:27 Post No. 18447608
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Help with Compromise 2017-06-23 06:59:27 Post No. 18447608
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I argue with someone very close to me pretty frequently on and off, and we have different views on things but whenever we argue it always seems to come out with them on top and me caving into what they want. I recently realized this and became adamant about holding my side in a recent argument. The recent argument wasn't that big of a deal but I didn't want to give in because of what I recently realized and the other person wouldn't budge either....
I don't really know what to do because neither of us will budge and the other person just wants their way and won't try to go in the middle of it or anything. I was willing to go in half way but they wanted 100% their way.
I tried to bring the fact that I always do whatever they want to their attention but they didn't seem to care that much, I just really don't know how to handle this and make them see that they need to compromise...
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Anybody?
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What were you arguing about? Need some details in order to give any advice senpai
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>>18447608
you're just digging yourself in as a beta.
accept it, or find a new "friend" who is more amenable to compromise and consensus.
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>>18447851
Like just kinda anything things here and there, its not like one specific thing
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>>18447862
What does that mean
Is there any way to make my current one realize that in order for things to be best they need to give a little too?
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You need to treat people who are like this as if they have a mental disorder, because they do. What you described sounds like traits of narcissism personality disorder. It's not that they're being stubborn, these people literally cannot ever admit they were wrong. More than that, they probably honestly don't even believe they are every wrong in anything they do. Asking them to ever concede or apologize for anything is like asking them to grow wings and fly.
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>>18449211
So my only option is to accept the way they are and there's not much I can do about it?
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>>18449294
Yep. You can't change people, they can only change themselves.
It's up to you if you stay friends with them or not though.
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>>18449211
So my only option is to accept the way they are and there's not much I can do about it?
With the argument that I talked about in the top post, we came to a temporary compromise but it was still much in their favor and I just agreed because I was tired of arguing about it and wanted to move on. Am I at fault for never trying to do anything about it at this point?
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>>18449318
> I just agreed because I was tired of arguing about it and wanted to move on.
Well, it's like this, you're not necessarily "at fault" for doing this, but by doing this you're only reinforcing and validating the way this person treats you. You can try being as stubborn as they are and maybe they might get the message. But it's like I said before, you're not really dealing with a reasonable person or it wouldn't be this hard. You have to adjust your strategy and focus, not on changing them, but protecting yourself and your own interests. Because like you pointed out, they don't really care about your feelings. Don't be a doormat for them.
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>>18449337
Thank you for the help
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>>18449337
One more thing though, would any of this change if it was a relationship as opposed to a friendship
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