Am I mentally ill

yes it's normal to have a panic attack if you're not used to doing drugs. you may have smoked too much and that can cause high heart rate which can induce a panic attack. and getting really introspective is common when high. don't worry. weed isn't for everyone. all I can say is that eventually those things will stop if you continue smoking, or you can just avoid it altogether.

>>18445882
maybe "normal" isn't the appropriate word. "common" is probably better.

>>18445890
>>18445882

My one question is whether these thoughts were something Im repressing IRL and potentially valid, or if theyre irrational paranoid thoughts

it's both, your coworkers have noticed that you're crazy

Stop smoking weed, it's gonna be like that a lot for you if you continue to.

>>18445910
To me it sounds like they could be both.

>>18445910
>>18445941
Err sorry, I didn't mean they could be potentially valid. I just meant they might be thoughts you normally repress and the weed-induced paranoia brought them up to the surface.

>>18445947
that other post wasn't me, but it's possible you could have repressed paranoia, but a lot of times there's a reason for that. maybe something happened in your life that caused you to develop paranoia? weed and most drugs tend to exaggerate mental illnesses but it also depends a lot on the mindset you go into it with. if you decide to smoke again, try to flush anything like that out of your head and focus more on how calming it can be. I find it instantly diminishes most if not all of my stress and anxiety. maybe try to sleep after you do it so you don't sit and think yourself into being stressed. maybe try eating/snacking as it not only typically makes things seem to taste better, but eating should bring your high down much faster. again, results vary from person to person, but don't worry too much. I've gotten way too introspective before, and it can be a great thing or a bad thing. just remember, it's the weed.

>>18445947
also sorry for wall of text

I used to smoke as a teenager and when I was in university and for the most part it was always a blast. Now that I'm working and fending for myself in a new place I pretty much get exactly the same as you when I smoke.

I will say that for me it can be a genuinely positive experience if I smoke alone and try to write all this stuff down. It helps me really dig into the root of my problems and come up with solutions.

However, smoking in a social setting is a massive risk, because you just can't be worrying about this stuff when you're trying to have fun with people. It sucks.

If you're lucky enough to have accommodating and chill friends who don't mind if you just zone out, maybe it's worth exploring it more so you get a little more used to it. Personally I follow a rule that I will never smoke around people I don't know or around any more than say 3 other friends. Getting noided is one thing, but getting noided that eveyone can tell you're noided is just the fucking worst.

weed makes me extremely paranoid and anxious

If I don't smoke enough, I get hungry and kind of tired. If I smoke a bit more, I feel like an anxious piece of shit. Weed is shit.

I tolerate heroin better, plus its more fun.

Thanks for all the responses guys. I'm starting to think it was low key fears that I have sober that were just getting exaggerated from the high. Its a shame because I love eating and listening to music when I smoke. Like another anon said its just the weed. Now that I think about it its actually kind of narcissistic to think coworkers would care enough to make calculated efforts to fuck with me. People just ignore people if they dont like each other.

>>18445777
> you may have smoked too much and that can cause high heart rate which can induce a panic attack.

You feel your heart is beating faster and anxiety tricks you into a "panic attack"
To avoid this just ignore the feeling and think its the weed. Try thinking on something else.