I need friends but can't relate to anybody.

>>18445277
Are you good at reading people? If so use that to your advantage to see what you can talk about and if it interests them. Or be the observer and get them to talk about what they want and if you can relate to it in any way then continue to converse.

ppppfffttt relating???? HAHAHAHAAAA
Nice joke anon.
I have enough friends without even trying to relate to them. Best thing is - They know I don't ACTUALLY care, yet I'm one of their most closest and trustworthy friend.

Why?
I have principles to back me up whenever I'm in a moral doubt. I always try to be nice on purpose so I don't fuck it up. (Nice meaning - Not un-ironically a jerk, not telling their secrets and everything I know about them to people, doing favors even if you get nothing for them, etc etc)

For conversations, you'll need to make up for your cultural differences. Watch popular TV shows (no matter how shitty they are.Try to focus on good and popular, if they have any). Also, Video games, books, any kind of a cultural - media - whatever thing you can talk about with them.

I've been there nigga. Not caring, yet lonely. The pinnacle of irony.

I feel like I'm way too inside of my own head to make genuine connections with anyone

>>18445784
>laughs and says not to relate
>offers hobbies in which you can relate with

>>18445892
Not relating in emotional level you idiot. Also, you can still seem and be relateable without actually relate. "Faking it" if you will. Faking being nice, faking empathy etc etc.
Once you're lonely & sociopath enough, you'll learn to fake anything you need for friendship and company.