How to be confident

Liking yourself is a big part of being confident. And to like yourself, you have to be a good version of yourself

Confidence is a meme invented by women. It roughly means "everything an attractive guy wants to do and does". If the guy is ugly it's instead being needy, childish or inconsiderate.

>>18444066
There is absolutely some truth to this.

by being successfull at what you are doing and you enjoy said activity

looks matter less and less for a man as you get older

>>18444041

I think confidence is ultimately born from the ability to handle any situation. If you know you can do this or do that and handle anything that comes your way, you develop confidence in yourself, which will reflect in your behaviour. The whole "that guy is confident" is basically just "that guy knows what he's doing". Even in an unexpected situation or in unbalanced social confrontation people who are secure in their ability to handle it display confidence. I believe developing a variety of useful life skills, developing social skills, improving situational awareness and having a bit of a devil-may-care attitude are the key to confidence.

You can't fake it, you need to gain some self-respect first. Invest in yourself.

It's something you're born with. Some people, no matter how much they work on themselves or how much they invest in themselves just will simply feel they're not good enough.

You can't just get it. You either have it or not. A confident person could be doing something for the first time and look confident as fuck while being terrible at it and having fun with it. A non-confident person can't do it, and never will. He can be confident in things he has practiced, but he will never have this inner confidente, this magnetic self-assuredness that a truly confident person has.

1) Eye contact
2) Stand straight
3) Start working out
The first 2 will help you fake it till you make it and 3 will just make you more confident.

>>18444087
What do you mean with investing in yourself? I have confidence problems, but it feels like it comes from deep within. Like, deep within at my core I just don't like myself. I feel like I'm not valid, and no matter how much i work out or practice hobbies this core belief doesn't change.

Everything above, but not including
>>18444141
Is awful advice

Confidence can come about a number of ways. Some people appear to be born with it, but the reality is that our life experiences shape our world view and influence our perception of our place in it. This is why people who were abused in childhood usually become adults with low self-esteem. The idea behind low confidence is that people absorb their environment, taking in experiences of being treated poorly and being disrespected or told they're not good enough and believing them. Most people aren't aware they're doing this- it just happens. If someone tells you you're garbage enough, you start to believe it. It can be things as subtle as your mom being irritated by you as a kid and telling you to leave her alone when you go to her for attention. Repeated experiences like that, especially as a child, result in the internalization of the belief 'I'm not good enough'. When people ~believe~ they aren't good enough, they project that reality and act it out repeatedly. It should come as no shock that believing you will fail leads to failure. The good news is, you can change your self-esteem by changing the internal dialogue you have with yourself. When you start to look at your life from a third-person perspective it's much easier to see the flaw in negative, self-defeating thinking. Imagine you were someone else giving yourself advice. We'll call you Bob and the person giving advice Robert. Robert has a good opinion of Bob, and sees him as a hard-working, intelligent, and all around great guy. Bob on the other hand tells himself he's worthless and not good enough. If you were Robert speaking to low self-esteem Bob, you'd tell him to lighten up and see the good side. The key to getting rock-solid self esteem is to be your own Robert. Every time Bob is feeling down, or like he isnt good looking, or no one will ever love him, you have to be your own Robert and say internally to yourself- Hey! I AM good enough

>>18444219
cont.

Try Vipassana meditation. It's the practice of sitting still and just being. That can help you become more aware of your thoughts and to notice it when you're being a negative Bob. Repeatedly reassuring yourself and being as kind to yourself as you would to another person will make you very confident if you're consistent with it. An easy way to do this at first is to imagine there are literally two 'you's in your head, and put yourself in Roberts shoes, then go give Bob a hug. Really visualize it. Tell Bob you love him, and that he deserves to be happy. That is what self-love is.

>>18444066

Pretty much, just like how a lot of shit is only creepy if they're ugly.

A confident ugly guy? Weird and Annoying

>>18444284
Attractive guys can be weird and creepy too, they call them "quirky and mysterious"

>>18444400
Wow are you so retarded that you can't read your own contradiction?

This is the epitome of "no yeah".

>>18444219
>Most people aren't aware they're doing this- it just happens. If someone tells you you're garbage enough, you start to believe it. It can be things as subtle as your mom being irritated by you as a kid and telling you to leave her alone when you go to her for attention
Lurker here. This hit so close to home. My most prominent memory of my childhood is my mom always being stressed out and always "wanting to be left alone". She never had much positive say to me or really ever displayed motherly affection in the form of physical touch. As a result, I've grown up to have a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, a slight aversion to physicality (though I crave it and it's like the flood gates open when I feel comfortable enough with a girl), and low self-esteem. My dad was an over-the-road trucker so he was rarely around; it was as if I was raised by a distant single mother to whom I was mostly an annoyance. Shit has wrecked the few relationships I've stumbled into and I have a strong aversion to approaching women. I always feel as if I'm "bothering" them even though some show strong signs of interest; I believe I am good looking by the way women respond to me if I've had a few drinks I can chat up any girl and obviously have her wet but as soon as those insecurities kick in, the it's T minus 10 seconds to attraction launching the fuck out of town.

It sucks because I'm nearly 30 years old and I can still find myself trying to earn my mother's approval. She's not as closed off as she was when I was a kid but still any sign of disapproval from her sends me into a tailspin. DIdn't really connect the dots until recently when I dismantled a promising relationship with a good girl because I couldn't get over my issues.

>>18444284
That's not really true. I'd consider myself above average attractive and I've had girls go from giddy and following me around like a puppy wanting the dick to straight up disrespecting me and uninterested. Attractive or not, a woman is only going to put up with a man who isn't "acting right" for so long. Those girls that put up with Chads mistreating her are victims of some serious dread game (she's in a place of constantly qualifying herself to him because he has other girls he could easily go to) and strong emotional attachments that formed after getting piped down good.

>>18444411
Do you know what irony is?

>>18444219
I don't understand myself, then. I was raised in a loving environment and have great relations with my parents and sister.

But I still feel like a huge failure and completely unlovable. No girl has ever been interested in me which is starting to affect me, and intimacy scares me.

I was bullied in school but I think I got over that just fine, I have a good circle of friends.