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how do I relate to people

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I never know what to say to people in any situation. If someone said "I went on a bus ride today" If i'm not thinking I might respond with: "nice! do you like going on bus rides?"

this is a bad response. asking how it was often surprisingly doesn't do me much better.

any tips/thoughts /adv/?
>>
I can't help you, because in my mind I'm thinking this person isn't giving me much to work with as it is, so it would seem like I am trying too hard to come up with a response if I were to say more than that. Just do your best to rotate your responses like, "Oh?" "Is that so?" and if the person just won't stfu then they are probably more focused on what they are saying to you than what you are saying to them ... maybe, I don't know.
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>>18442338
>I went on a bus ride today
"That public transportation, huh?"

>I had to walk to school this morning
"Nothing wrong with a little exercise, right?"

If the thing they're talking about has no substance to it, just say the same thing back to them in different phrasing.

If someone says something worth responding to seriously, you will probably have a good idea of what it is they're asking or telling you.
>>
>>18442409

I find normal people seems to want something more from me

like if I asked
>what have you been up to this week
and a girl says
>ive been working a lot and hanging with friends

if I comment/question on what she actually said but i'd end out saying something boring and general
if I don't comment she stops talking
if I go to a completely different topic she wont like it and it will be weird unless well crafted
>>
>>18442437
learn the difference between small talk and conversation.

small talk is something of little to no substance.
asking what they did that week isn't a good way to start a conversation because it's idle chatter.

If someone initiates chit-chat about the weather they aren't trying to sit down with you and mull over the existential uncertainty that is the human condition. They simply wanted to talk about something without really having to think about anything.
>>
>>18442338
Try being interested in their shit or share some anecdote related to what they're talking about.
What to ask really comes only with experience and paying attention.

Like if someone said "I went on a bus ride today" you might respond with a "How come?" or "Ah shit I remember one time on a bus ride this kid tried kicking this boy" or some shit like that.
>>
>>18442981
Also this.
>>
>>18442338

>"I went on a bus ride today."
Oh yeah? Did you go anywhere fun today, or were you out gettin' stuff done?

By asking more questions that probe for details, it seems like you're interested in what they have to say. A lot of it is just life experience and practice in a lot of different conversations. They're called social skills because it's a skill - it must be practiced a lot to be mastered.
>>
>>18443093
Adding something to this.

What this anon said is correct. Try and ask questions but not superficial ones or ones that have very short answers. Like for example "Where?" can be answered in less than five words. But the question anon suggested requires them to give more details which will:
1. Make them feel you're interested in what they have to say, so they like you.
2. Will create more topics to talk about
>>
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>>18442981
is there any better ways to have real conversation besides either forcing it yourself or pinging topics during small talk to see if any hook?
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