>post op ftm >married >no sex >almost no physical

there are plenty of non trans people with this problem, idc if you identify as male/female or whatever but just know it rarely *increases* your chances of finding intimacy, especially when you are into yaoifag shit

>>18441730
I don't know what constitutes as "yaoifag shit", really. Not really into weeb culture, to be honest.

I'm male-identified, female at birth, with a body covered in (and filled with) a mess of scars where organs/tissues were removed. So, yeah, I'm aware that being a mangled monster does nothing to help my chances.

>>18441746
Being a cheating selfish trap is what ruins your chances. Get a divorce and stop being a garbage person, or go to marriage counseling and try to fix your issues.

>>18441716
I know this will sound super dumb but
>why dont you try to fix your marriage first
instead of finding people who will want to do anything with you?

Maybe just ask your wife on dates as if you didnt know each other? Try again slowly with handholding? And
>not in shape
>>>/fit/ sticky and get into shape again?

Wouldnt it be easier to fix your marriage? Do you even talk to each other?

>>18441773
>Being a cheating selfish trap is what ruins your chances. Get a divorce and stop being a garbage person, or go to marriage counseling and try to fix your issues.

I look forward to the day you're in a sexless marriage. May these words come back to you.

>>18441773
>why dont you try to fix your marriage first
You assume there have not already been years of therapy.

>not in shape
Hitting the gym 3x a week atm, twice weekly during classes.

>Wouldnt it be easier to fix your marriage? Do you even talk to each other?

They have said they're not sexually attracted to me anymore, or ever, that they "made themself" do sexual and "romantic" things when we were dating but that now that we're married they cannot be bothered to.

As to divorce, I am an immigrant in this country, currently mired deep in debt trying to finish my post secondary schooling. The cost of divorce right now would be nearly impossible to recover from financially if I do not at least last until I get my degree and start working.

Yet the isolation is really getting to me.

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>>18441797
jesus m8

>>18441801
Pretty much.

>>18441797
>made themselves
Can i ask you how does this even work? Like you had girl body, made yourself into boy and then married to another country to person who never loved you in the first place? WTF?

Have you transitioned before or after marriage? Did she knew about you being trans? Why have she married you in the first place? And why is she living with you when she
>cant be bothered?

Why is your life so big shit? Do you have kids? Can you maybe do some basic timeline of your life? How did you end up in such bizzare position? Is your wife asexual? And why would divorce be expensive? Like no kids, no alimony right?

You fell for the trans meme and now it's biting you in the ass. For normal people finding good partners and having fulfilling relationships is hard. People like you, or people suffering other illnesses, are in even more difficult position, because most of you are high maintenance, problematic partners. I'm sorry OP, I guess the only way is trying dating, using okcupid or something, and hoping you'll meet someone you click with.

>>18441818
>her
never gendered my spouse

They knew me since HS, from before transition, were supposedly "bisexual" and had dated both males and females before dating me. They didn't approve of my transition, but ultimately said it was my call.

They have subsequently cheated on me with males and with females... and have decided that with their own PTSD they just don't want sex with people at all. Not that they are asexual, just that they're too fucked up for sexual relationships.

>And why would divorce be expensive?
Cost of living and school here are not sustainable on minimum wage which is all you can get without a degree. That is assuming I -could- stay...but I would have to move back to my home country because my status was based on marrying a citizen. Then, moving isn't cheap, let alone to another country.

I cannot afford to leave.
Not if I ever want to be able to retire.

>>18441797
I've been happily married for 12 years, we gave sex all the time. Have a bunch of beautiful children as evidence of that. You know how you have a happy marriage, you don't cheat on each other. God what a shit, your partner is suffering with PTSD and instead of trying to help them and get help for your marriage you just want to go fuck other people. Also you didn't even reply to the correct comment

>>18441834
Trans wasn't much of a meme 10 years ago.
I don't regret leaving "female" behind, I was crazy in the head regardless of if I'd have transitioned or not.

Hell, aside from this lonliness/isolation issue I don't generally get suicidal. I used to walk out into traffic and try to get hit by cars before I learned I could just... not be female.

I can at best "fake" being male... but by being "not female" people sort of default to male as a result.

>>18441848
Good for you.

You do not know what I do or do not do for my partner with regard to their PTSD.

I hope your wife had an ongoing affair and none of those kids are actually yours, you arrogant prick.

>>18441845
>didnt approve of my transition
Nuff said.

But hey, you can still talk to her right? Are you absolutely sure you have nothing common with each other? What made you marry on first place? Cuddles? Handholding? Hugs? Kiss before night? Do you live with each other? You still can be friends?

And since you are going to school, you can try find friend there. But i am not sure how well normies treat trannies. Are you passable?

And what do you mean by
>ptsd
? Is everybody around you mentally ill op?

>>18441845
Christ after reading all this I take it back you guys should divorce, you both sound like shity selfish people who are to fucked up to be in a committed relationship. You don't have a marriage, you guys are a miserable joke

>>18441877
> Cuddles? Handholding? Hugs? Kiss before night?
No to any of the above... well... if I'm clearly going through something they will visibly steel themselves and begrudgingly hug me. Sort of just makes me feel like even more of a disgusting piece of crap but I appreciate that they tried.

>ptsd
Yeah, it seems like everyone I know is fucked up one way or another.

>Are you passable?
Stealth, or everyone is just overly polite, but given how outspokenly right wing and hateful some people who feel the need to talk to me are... I'm guessing I pass, since no one gives me faggot/tranny rants/threats

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>>18441878
>Christ after reading all this I take it back you guys should divorce, you both sound like shity selfish people who are to fucked up to be in a committed relationship. You don't have a marriage, you guys are a miserable joke

Thanks guy.
Go eat a dick.

>>18441870
I'm the wife you idiot. Neither of us has ever cheated or ever even remotely had an issue with that. You sound way to fucked up to have a marriage, your partner too. Big shocker a suicidal trap who thinks it's normal to fuck around all the time and who's partner dose the same thing. Your both garbage. Your right I don't know or care what you do for your partners PTSD, they sound just as shitty as you. What nasty people. Whatever, go fuck someone else and keep your fake loveless marriage, keep using the system to keep your broke ass from being deported. None of it matters your just a miserable person and are always going to be that way since you don't want to actually address any of your problems because it's to hard for your snowflake self to handle

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>>18441716
>>18441746
>>18441773
>>18441797
>>18441818
>>18441845
>>18441862
>>18441870
>>18441877
REDDIT SPACING, SEEK MENTAL HELP. YOU NEED TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEAN.

>>18441904
Blow me. You're still a self righteous prick, even if you're a cunt, you semi-literate breeder cow.

>>18441893
I am sorry, i am out of advices.

You not calling your partner her or him is serious problem on its own. The she is repulsed by you. Which is super cool. Instead of solving your and her probems you pretend they dont exist or hide it.

Why have you married in the first place? And why are you studyinf useless degree? Not even economics?

Instal meetme and look for somebody.

>>18441908
Careful summer child before you burst vein in your brain.

>>18441911
At least I'm not a confused shemale with deformed genies, a partner who is repulsed by them and cheats on them. Lmao you want to kill yourself and are to poor to even get yourself out of the situation. You fucked your life all up and when someone tells you so you attach them instead of looking at everything and thinking shit, maybe I messed up and should try to fix things. You need a shrink not a fuck buddy

>>18441914
>You not calling your partner her or him is serious problem on its own

It isn't really. That is merely the best way to cover their privacy/anonymity.

I suppose if I parse the responses y'all made in attempts to judge me, my spouse, and our unenviable situation... I might pick out the odd dating app name.

The thing you folks don't seem to get, is I am staying around because they ask me to stay... but that they are unwilling to budge and give me any time of intimacy. Intimacy is something humans need in their lives, and you lot seem as if you've been fortunate not to be starved of it in your lives.

Which, I guess is why you cannot understand that it is really bad for your mental health to lack it.

We are trying to make our union work... but it will probably never be a sexual marriage. I accept that. My spouse no interest in becoming a sexual person, with me or with others, does that mean I have to abandon them? That I cannot be there to help them deal with their PTSD and be the best I can be for them? Strive for a career? Help maintain our home?

Wanting intimacy on the side when your spouse is unwilling and/or incapable of providing it is not wrong.

Pray that you never find yourselves in my shoes... because people clearly cannot handle the idea that you could love someone, even when you and they are both woefully broken, even when that singular person cannot meet your emotional needs.

>>18441926
>You need a shrink not a fuck buddy
Ironically, it was the shrink that advised I find a fuck buddy... but hey, random judgemental internet mom, I'm sure your advice is just as well-rounded.

>>18441914
>>18441941
you're the only one using reddit spacing here, are you seriously talking to yourself right now?

>>18441949
If your shrink is telling you that heating in a marriage is good and will help you your going to a hack and should find someone else

>>18441981
It's not uncommon advice when one partner can't/won't reciprocate physically with the other despite all attempts to meet the abstinent partner's criteria (if they have any).

Both partner's do not need to be celibate when only one of them WANTS to be. The celibate is under no obligation to be sexual, but the remaining partner should then not be expected to be celibate along side them.

>>18441978
Only one of those posts is me.
>reddit spacing
Is the enter-key off limits on 4chan now? Goddamn, this place has gone downhill over the years.

>>18442003
No that just causes a bunch of trust and intimacy issues in the relationship. Any real physiologist tells the sexually active one to be patient and try to work through the others issues so they can go on to having a physical relationship. They give therapy to help build trust and work through whatever's causing the lack of intimacy, fucking around would only exasperate any problems that are already there and weaken the relationship even further. If there's no physical attraction left at all they would tell you it's best to divorce not just cheat on each other. That's not how healthy relationships work and doing that will only wind up hurting both partners and causing more fighting and distrust

>>18442013
> tells the sexually active one to be patient
For how long? A year? Two?
It has been nearly 5 years.

My spouse has made it clear they are not "working on it" and have no intention of trying to "work on it".

I still care about them. I work to support them and to make our lives better, mutually. However, at a certain point... you need human touch in your life.

All I want is to stop going insane from lack of physical contact. Sexual or otherwise.

Ah, whatever, this whole conversation has left me utterly exhausted. Outta "spoons" for today. I should never have gotten out of bed.

>>18442003
I've been on 4chan longer than you've had a pretend penis. You should have just kept your vagina and been a lesbian like the normal people would.

>>18441978
>r spacing
Is this how you can safely identify person with autism? Keeping babbling nonsence and unable to recognize dialog or even how basic communication works?

>>18442003
>downhill
Nah, you just need to keep ignoring trolls as everywhere.

>>18442044
Well since you are so modern gender less couple, try open relationship meme. Basically you will agree to see other people for cuddling and stuff. It may work.

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Pack it up everyone OP is just a mentally ill transgender with Dissociative identity disorder.

>>18441716
>post op ftm
you don't do or find anything. you played yourself and you got played by a medical profession that does literally the opposite of what will help you. sorry.

>>18441716
>"I'm a tranny and can't into healthy relationship"
>Refuses to even say if their partner is a man or a woman to clarify things
>muh tumblr PTSD
>Every reply is transphobic and mean ;((
>"I hope you have as bad experiences as I do"

Boo fucking hoo, seems like an /lgbt/ or twitter problem, you'll feel better there.