depressed and want to die

>>18441576
Why are you like this?

>>18441581
I think it's genetic. My family has a long history of mental illness and suicide.

>>18441581
Also I am just sad and lonely. I feel like there is no point to me existing as I am miserable and have been for so long. My biggest regret so far in life is not committing suicide earlier.

>>18441660
Why can't you find a bf? Also which country you in?

>>18441663
I'm in the US. I think I am mildly autistic and just can't figure it out, but I'm not really sure.

>>18441576
I will be your friend / boyfriend op

>>18441759
Aww OP you got yourself a pity friend here

>>18441766
You may mock me but sometimes all someone needs is a friend to help them cope with life

>>18441759
lol. I'm sure you'll change your mind. I'm pretty boring.

>>18441778
Try me, what's a way to message you?

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WGTOW or settle for a handful of HPV strains

i've been asking around, these are your honest options

>>18441783
you can message me on Google hangouts: CaptainGonzo86

>>18441576
Please be my gf

>>18441789
Is that face Anne Frank?

K E K

>>18441576
People usually want to kill themselves when they feel they've achieved everything they could in life and they can't do anything to make themselves happy. This usually happens when you're stuck in a routine and have no friends/family to make their lives interesting.
It's actually natural to crave death. We are not naturally immortal, death is basically in our genetic code. We only live to breed a new generation and die ourselves. It's difficult to fight nature, you need to get a hobby or something that will keep you busy until you die naturally. Getting friends also helps, even if they're online only.

Fuck every one.
>>18441576
Can I message you OP?

>>18441864
>crave death
This is probably the most rare opinion about suicide i have read here yet. From where do you have such opinion?

>>18441864
yes this is where im at.

>>18441865
feel free to message me.

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What if it turns out OP is a dude, doing this as a social experiment to determine how many more responses a post can get by simply including "btw im a guuuurl"?

Wouldn't that be something?

>>18441910
yeah but I'm not much to look at. I'm over weight. i don't eat healthy and I don't exercise. I don't really have much motivation to live a long healthy life.

I wish I'd have some freak accident tgat would kill me so I wouldn't have to commit suicide. I know it will be tough on my brother and sister since my mom killed herself about 5 years ago.

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Follow your dreams.

>>18441888
Once you've done everything to do in life, do you think you could keep reliving the same day over and over again for eternity? No matter if it's shit or a state of bliss, I believe no human would endure even 10 years without some stimulant (social life / family / videogames / drugs /movies and series / interesting and satisfying job or a hobby). You need to have a goal in your life to actually want to live. If you don't have a reason to live then you don't have a reason not to die and if your life is shit or boring you'll probably want to escape that feeling. Most people just do something fun or join a community/religion but some who don't know what else to do want to kill themselves. Keep in mind she did say she doesn't have a husband or kids, which is usually what keeps people going to protect their young.
I've always had this opinion. I've only noticed that I had it after watching "About Time" with my gf. And then she argued why that guy in the beginning killed himself when he could live for over 1000 years (if I remember correctly)

>>18441898
What's the best way? your google hang outs?
>>18441792

>>18441910
Pretty typical results as usual.
>Guy here I'm depressed and wanna kill myself
>...
versus
>Girl here I'm depressed and wanna kill myself
>Don't do it!
>Hey you wanna hang out?
>Message me lets talk.
>i bet ur cute, wanna chat ;)?
>You can always turn things around believe in yourself you're worth it!

>>18441933
yes that's the best way

>>18441669
>I think I am mildly autistic
You sound like an insufferable twat. Maybe work on that first.

>>18441940
yes i probably am.

>>18441915

Have you ever thought of trying to live a more healthy life before you consider suicide? I'm not going to pretend I can relate to your situation because feeling like you want to end your life is a very personal thing. Nothing that anybody says will make you feel better. However, if you want to do that anyway, it might be worth changing your life in a significant way, such as more exercise, healthy eating, hikes, etc. It might not do anything at all, but generally this tends to have a positive effect on people.

Give it a try. You may as well have one final bash before you give up completely.

>>18441938
yeah I didn't think listing my sex was a big deal apparently it is.

>>18441924
Have you tried doing other things besides work, like going to church or starting biking, take a class on something your interested in? Something that gets you out of the house and where you'll have the opportunity to meet people. Wallowing in self putty and feeding into how unhappy you are is only going to make you feel worse. You need to change your focus. Also have you tried being off medication ever, I felt like you a lot and had always been on meds. They were causing more problems then helping, I finally got feed up and told my dr no more I wanted to try to be off them for a while. That was 6 years ago and I'm much happier and feel more normal now. Not saying that's for everyone but you could try that if you never have possibly

>>18441939
CaptainGonzo86 doesn't come up with anything

>>18441945
ive done the healthy stuff. joined weight watchers, hit the gym everyday and lost 50 lbs (about 3 years ago). it helped for a little while in that I was achieving my goals of losing weight but in the end the depression didnt go away and eventually i stopped and have gained about 35lbs back.

>>18441957

Please respond.

>>18441957
you must be doing something wrong.

>>18441576
What job and in what government? Any interesting conspiracy theories?

>>18441957
he lied :^)

>>18441968
pretty sure I aint. oh well

>>18441966
was it coming off as desperate? was just trying to add some one.

>>18441970
I analyze the fiscal impact of proposed legislation and policies.

>>18441938
As a matter of fact, society judges guys in a rougher way, whereas they take care of girls more. It's a gender role bullshit.

If people were more understanding of guys this would be different.

>>18441948
Tell us. Ideally speaking, what would make you happy, if you didn't have to die? Anything does.

>>18441938
>guy depressed, want to kill myself
>DO IT FAGGOT.
Ftfy

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God loves you anon, suicide is a denial of his gifts to you, read The Book of Job

Read these books, OP: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and A Mind of Your Own by Kelly Brogan. I hate to look like a shill, but I was in a very similar situation to you and reading these books changed my life 100%. They might seem weird at first, but read through the whole thing before you make a judgement. If you are truly desperate, these may really speak to you and give you some guidance. I wish you the best OP, good luck.

>>18441984
I honestly don't think that's true here anon. Positive advice is often given, but there's always the trolls

>>18441938
I'd treat both the same, honestly. It's an anonymous image board. I can't know who I'm talking to. I won't just accept their gender since gender pretending is very common, especially here.

>>18441987
>read The Book of Job
Pretty sure OP already has a job.

>>18441983
i think a different job and a nicer boss would help. i cant really think of anything that would make me happy. I'm pretty dead inside.

>>18441963
Hay you can email me if you want, I'll try to be your friend. I'm 27/f/from the us as well. My email is ks531772 at gmail

Speak with persons who has similar issues. May then you´ll find a good frind and at the same time someone you can speak about your difficulties.

>>18441994
You can try looking for a better job, then! Having goals helps a lot to overcome depression.

>>18442002
I'm just socially awkward. I'm not fun. It was hard for me just to get this job despite having a good resume. I think I do good work but no one really enjoys me being around. Plus another 29 years and I'll get a pension.

>>18442009
Social skills can be learned. They're a skill for a reason. If you really want to, you can set yourself a goal to be more socially skillful.

Besides, I find it difficult to believe that no one wants you around. Are you certain you're not trying to read their minds?

>>18442018
it's not that they don't want me around they just are probably indifferent and wouldn't care if i wasn't around.

I've done meetup.com a few times it was okay but my anxiety has increased. I am finding it difficult to be anywhere besides home or work. I moved downtown last year so I could walk to work, stores and bars but I'm always afraid I'll run into someone I know and as a result barely leave my apartment.

>>18441929
Welp considering my current speed achieving things i want to do, i will die faster than running out of ideas what to do.

We will see in next 50 years :-)

>>18442033
>it's not that they don't want me around they just are probably indifferent and wouldn't care if i wasn't around.
That's how it usually is with most people, and I also know how it feels. I understand you fully.

>I've done meetup.com a few times it was okay but my anxiety has increased. I am finding it difficult to be anywhere besides home or work. I moved downtown last year so I could walk to work, stores and bars but I'm always afraid I'll run into someone I know and as a result barely leave my apartment.
At one point I tried socializing online due to the lack of irl instances to socialize. It also increased my anxiety. I believe that doing online is actually worse than face to face.

You can change your views on social skills and be more skillful. But you should also know where to do it, otherwise it will be counterproductive and it will reinforce your negative thoughts. Hence why I'm undergoing therapy.

>>18441778
Every girl is boring.

>>18442050
well meetup.com is a website to meet people face to face to do various activities.

>>18442060
Oh crap you're right.

Um, well, how or why did your anxiety increase?

>>18441576
Just follow the usual advice OP.

Start going to the gym. It'll give you some energy, maybe some confidence, and it'll give you goals to strive for. You can even meet people there.

Get some hobbies. Learn an instrument or visual art of some kind. Again, goals to strive for. I would personally recommend guitar and/or origami.

I recommend these because they definitely helped with me.

>>18442068
I've always have had anxiety. i thought being downtown would help but i just find myself trying to get home as quick as possible and hope i don't have to talk to anyone.

>>18442079
Meetup.com stuff can be daunting. Meeting with a bunch of strangers to do something isn't a good idea for people with anxiety because this may reinforce negative ideas.

Try something else, like one on one hangouts, or maybe with very reduced groups, no more than 3 other people.

Where do you live OP, I'll meet up so you can work on socializing :^D

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>>18441576
Do it if you want to, idgaf. No one does, except your brother and sister. So the next time this thought crosses your mind, think of them. Don't ask random strangers whether or not you should do it. No one can decide it for you. Yes I think you might be autistic though, but really if it's mild than it should be nothing more than having a an unusually strong obsession over things that interest you and not letting go until you get fed up (at least in my case, I also think I'm on the spectrum, but nowhere near "autistic" as in the full meaning where kids literally beat themselves up physically and can't calm down)

GL Oh-Pee

>>18442078
I've don't think I'm mentally able to do that kind of stuff anymore. I think I'm just too depressed. idk. I don't know why I posted I know nothing anyone says is going to cure my depression and I'm just going to go home and continue to research ways to kill myself.

I'm thinking of jumping off a bridge but I'm not sure any are high enough to guarantee that I die.

>>18441576
>Never had a boyfriend.
>failing while in easy mode
Maybe you should kill yourself. The gene pool could always use a little bleach.

Post pic, I'll dick you on the regular if ok.

>>18442088
Usually people only want to meet one on one for dates. I'm not sure how'd i find someone meet one on one with for friendship.

>>18442096
Well, here's some sound advice, a shotgun to the head is usually a failproof method. Then again maybe finding someone in your life would do wonders for you. Loneliness is a bitch.

>>18441576
Whatever you do, don't have kids. It's not fair to them to create more miserable people who can't thrive in this modern atomized urbanized culture. Some people can; they should have lots of kids. There is no point prolonging this sort of suffering over multiple generations.

>>18442096
I think you've got it, you've just gotta try it for a bit. But you've really got to give it a chance. I was lucky enough to have friends to help push me along when I started to get better. At least when it came to gym stuff. All the guitar and origami stuff came with my own pushing. It's a bit hard at first, but it really helps and pays off

>>18442112
I don't really know much qbout guns or how to buy them.

>>18442107
Reduced groups. You meet with two or three other people. I wish I could tell you how though...

>>18442107
/soc/? There's probably some beta faggots on here that'll probably be okay with being friends

>>18442105
This. My boys and I will run train on a fatty. Dick will give you purpose, for a while at least. Where from?

>>18442119
i think i would need someone who i could meet in person.

>>18442117
If you're in the US it shouldn't be a problem, I think. THEN AGAIN, maybe you're just very lonely, and should actually try to find a friend. Not even a boyfriend. Just a friend. Why don't you hang out more with your siblings?

>>18442125
Unless you live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, there's probably some anons nearby or in reasonable driving distance

>>18442120
I've had sex with random guys off of Craigslist just so I wouldn't be a virgin anymore. I know there are a lot of guys who will sleep with me. It just doesn't really add much to my life.

>>18442129
they don't live close to me.

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>>18441979
Lol this job is inherently depressing and boring. Watch a bunch of idiot legislators propose random kludges to try to get through their terms, meanwhile running deficits larger than GDP growth forever, dooming subsequent generations to low growth, low rates, massive debt service payments, and no pensions or retirement waiting for them. Largely because western democracy is a failed system since it cannot conduct long-term planning. Not that it really matters.

>>18441987
You are a liar, driven mad by existential concerns, finding solace instead in made-up anthropomorphic deities. Religion is a tool for social control. Nothing more.

>>18441989
Mindfulness is reasonable. Depression often results from comparisons with the past or with others, while anxiety tends to arise from fears for the future. But claiming that a 25% rate of depression is somehow biological in nature is absurd. It isn't a disease of the body; it is a disease of modern atomized society. Humans evolved for tribal life, not to be treated as disposable units by massive powerful institutions while having only a few people who even care they exist. The solution is to not have kids if you are unhappy. Eventually this will lead to only people who are well adjusted for present conditions reproducing. That and stupid people who don't think about these things at all, which will be a good long-term punishment for our current arrogant social elites to deal with.

>>18442144
yes the bureaucracy and group think is overwhelming and soul crushing.

>>18442171
>which will be a good long-term punishment for our current arrogant social elites to deal with.

Are you kidding me, these people are being farmed for their health problems, its illegal to collect rain water in some states. You're born, you buy diapers, work 3 jobs and die.

>>18442096
Barbiturate overdose from AlphaBay is the least painful and most effective.

>>18442171
well my family has history of suicide goiny back generations so it may be genetic especially since i started having suicidal thoughts in 3rd or 4th grade.

>>18442183
my mom killed herself using barbiturates.

>>18441576
OP, I was male, single, educated, and with a government job. I have been in your shoes and I might be able to help.
I need a starting point though as to where you are as an individual.
I am asking this to help you, not make fun of you or ridicule you.

Are you fat?
If you think or say I am curvy, or anything like that then please say you are fat instead.
Seriously, I want to give some good advice.

>>18442241
yes I'm fat.

>>18442245
So was I.
Ok, OP this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, as it was mine at the start.

You need to walk a mile a day. I don't care how you do it, go outside after work, join a gym (none of these worked for me), buy a cheap treadmill from amazon (worked for me) and figure out how to guilt or reward yourself into walking that mile each and every single day. For me it started out with netflix on a tablet while I walked and then I found that listening to audiobooks worked even better. So you are at home, not walking like I told you to do? Guilt the shit out of yourself. Think to yourself I'm not doing anything but watching tv right now, I'm being lazy, what else do I have to do in my life? My life sucks, so I might as well walk. This gives you direction and you will fail and sometime be like, yup, I am shit so lets not bother walking. After a while though it somehow triggers that if you have a negative thought about yourself, you walk. Seriously, this works but it takes time. So after you can successfully walk a mile each day for 2 weeks, move up to 2 miles a day, then 3, then your target is 4. At 4 miles a day (this takes up like an hour to 2 hours of your time after work) your body is forced to lose weight, chemicals are released in your brain that make you feel good, think more positively, and you start to look better, very, very, slowly over time. After that things just become easier, you feel better about yourself, you have a direction in life (walking), and your life starts to change.
Seriously, I was a fat government worker, paper pusher who hated his life. After a year of failure and success I walk 4 miles a day, am toned, love myself, and people notice me. I've had dates, can actually have sex without being winded, and enjoy life. Good luck OP, I hope you try this and I wish you the best.

>>18441576
Hold out a little longer. A new era is forming all around us. During it, you will find purpose. Rejoice to know we all live in times that have never been seen in our current age. See life in a bigger scale.

>>18441928
beat me to it

>>18441576
Look up ketamine infusion clinics.

>>18441576
lmao

>>18441576
Never. Go to a Bible believing Church and ask for prayer and help. God cares for you and I'm sure there are many people that do care for you, even if it doesn't seem obvious right now. I will pray for you.

Does anybody know if this girl is overweight?

>>18444625
Yep, she is. Like fucking clockwork.

HIT THE FUCKING TREADMILL

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>>18444418
This.

Jesus is real and He cares about you, more than you can imagine.

Do it and post link to stream lmao

>>18444672
>bad things happen
>"God works in mysterious ways" :^)
>good things happen
>"It's a blessing, thank God!" :^)
>Bible says "ask for anything in my name and you'll have it" and "a father wouldn't give a snake to his child"
>Pray for something. It doesn't happen. Or even worse, something bad and unexpected happens.
>"God has his own times" :^) or "Sometimes the answer is no." :^)
>pain and suffering
>"God loves you SO MUCH, and I mean SO MUCH!" :^)