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I am a male in my early twenties. I have recently moved back to my hometown where I am working at the same office as my childhood friend, Jim. We are close friends who share similar life goals, attitudes, and interests. He and I share another childhood friend named Paul who has been living on his own one state over for the past 4 years.
Now Paul and I are best friends, whereas Jim is a close second. There have been times in the past where Jim has become angry or depressed because of the closer relationship Paul and I shared.
Jim is an ex-NEET who has now held down a steady job for a year while living at home. Although he can get a job, he has never been self-sufficient and has no life-experience outside of our small town. He has a strong desire to move out due to the toxic environment at home. We have floated plans about moving to a nearby city, but we haven't committed to any time or place. I haven't promised anything to him, though I have made it clear that I want to move somewhere with him.
Enter Paul. He has just graduated college and is planning on moving into a new place within his state. He has been successfully living on his own for the past four years. Last week, Paul invited me move into a new place with him. I'm giddy with excitement to be frank, because rooming with him has been a dream since I was young. We both know it would be a great fit. He wants to move in July or August.
Living with Paul would be a breeze, since we have the experience, the closeness, and the right attitude. Living with Jim would probably be boring, awkward, and risky due to his lack of experience. Jim cannot move in with Paul due to unrelated reasons, so the three of us rooming is not an option. It's one, or the other.
Bottom line: I want to move in with Paul without destroying my friendship with Jim.
/adv/, I don't want to miss this opportunity to fulfill a dream, and I don't want to hurt and betray a friend. What can I do?
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>dream of living with a friend
are you sure he's just a friend?
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>>18439355
>I am a male in my twenties
>giddy with excitement
>the experience, the closeness, the right attitude
>it's been a dream rooming with him since I was young
Dude, are you sure you are just friends?
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>>18439355
>in all honesty though Paul is the better choice
>stability and friendship
>both of you are capable of making things work
>Jim is just starting to get off his feet, but is less reliable since he's had issues in the past
>not that he's a bad person, but Paul would be the better choice regardless
I'm assuming Jim and Paul are not friends, and that's why they won't live together. Just move in with Paul, be done with it.
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>>18439383
>>18439426
Yes, we are just friends. Thank you both for helping me see how homoerotic I made the situation seem. I'm just trying to convey this problem to strangers in a way that gets through.
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I don't know any of you guys but I'll tell you from experience that living together with someone you're not fucking will destroy the friendship. Issues arise and compound and the only thing that chips away at the resentment is fucking.
Something outside of my personal experience that I've seen happen to peers is that one gets a girlfriend and she ALWAYS fucks the guy's friend and ruins a relationship you can't replace at this stage in your life.
Nobody thinks they'll fall apart, then they do, because an alpha-beta heirarchy arises over authority and space. Then the best friends in the world just get tired of the other one being around all the time.
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>>18439439
I can say that this anon is generalizing, from experience.
T. Lived with my best dudes for years
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>>18439439
>I don't know any of you guys but I'll tell you from experience that living together with someone you're not fucking will destroy the friendship
I feel pretty strongly the opposite way, things are 10x more likely to explode if it's a girlfriend. Though I agree that a group of 3 or more is probably somewhat more stable than 2.
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>>18439426
How long till you suck Pauls dicks?
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>>18439355
This was quite possibly the gayest thing ive ever read here.
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