Gf just lied to me

The worst part is that I don't understand why she chose to lie to me. I'm not the jealous type, I never told her that I don't wan her doing this and that.
Actually she's pretty flirty/slutty but that's not a problem for me and I tried to make her understand it.

And in exchange, this is what I get. Lied over some dumb reason.

Any /adv/? I love(d) her and I see/saw myself spending a lot of years with her, but now it's all shaky..

>>18436956
>and she admitted that actually she wrapped up some convos and that when she saw me typing again she turned off the internet and went to bed
Really?! Wow dude you're a massive child, grow the fuck up.

And before you respond, push this into your skull: NOT ALL LIES ARE BAD, AND NOT ALL BAD LIES ARE SERIOUS.

Get worked up for those that are both bad AND serious, otherwise you will end up making your partner distrusting of you. What you did is definitely contributing her to distrust you.

This is bait right?

>>18436956
Why?
Why would SHE distrust me when she was the one who lied? And over a dumb reason, as I was never bothered by things like whom she's talking or flirting to

No, this is not bait.

You sound like a controlling and distrustful fag with very low self-esteem.

She shouldn't have lied but you are making a huge deal out of nothing.

>>18436987
Because her "lie" wasn't precisely a lie. She told you already, she was wrapping up some convos and she doesn't have to keep you updated over every little thing she does.

It's not that she lied over a dumb reason; it's that you got worked up over a dumb reason. If she says she's going to bed then she's going to bed, period, even if she's talking to someone else in the meanwhile.

Also this >>18436989

>>18436956
>feeling this insecure

>>18436989
You sound like a judgy fag.
How am I controlling when I always encouraged her to be and do what SHE WANTS?

>>18436998
>Keeping an eye to whether she's online or not
>Especially WhatsApp which implies actively checking on her chat screen
Not him but how are you not a controlling and distrustful fag?

Actions show more than words anon.

>>18436978
>NOT ALL LIES ARE BAD
I hope this doesn't follow the reasoning of "don't tell your SO you're cheating on him, that will hurt him. Just keep quiet and make him breakfast and everything is fine."

>>18437005
I don't usually do this.
My first instinct was to trust her, to think that it was some fb bug showing her active 10 mins later. But I wasn't sure and I needed to be sure.
Ok, maybe I wasn't 100% trusting her (although she know things like my credit cards and all that), but now it seems that I trusted her more than I should have..

>>18437008
No? That's clearly a bad, serious lie.

>>18437012
>but now it seems that I trusted her more than I should have
Stop being a drama queen, what she did was not serious. Learn to accept that people lie at every level for the simplest reasons and that no one is fully honest. Not even you, you're probably just very blunt with your feelings.

>>18437020
With how much people defend doing that, things stop being so clear, and that is pretty scary. What examples can you give of acceptable lies?

>>18436956
What the fuck man. You are a control freak af. I am damn sure if you "encourage" her to do something as you told, you are the one texting every 5 minutes "how are you?" "Who is with you?" "How is it?"
Grow up dude

>>18437020
I know that it wasn't a serious lie.
But it makes me question our relationship

Won't this create some sort of slippery slope? If this lie is okay, who knows what's going to be okay in a year?

>>18437040
yeah dude, sure. Maybe that's why I was ok with her going alone in a day trip with some fag that she kissed with years ago. She was feeling lonely over there and he was in the country, I understand her and encouraged her to go. And I am sure that nothing happened between them that day and we actually talked just in the morning and in the evening.

But yeah, dude, you seem to know better.

>>18437036
I'm gonna reverse your question: what are unacceptable lies?

Roughly speaking, anything you MUST know for some reason. For example, if she has a kid and hides this from you for a long time. Or if she's cheating on you.

Most of the time people lie because they fear rejection. And you should be understanding about that when it comes to most lies. You have the right to get angry if this was important but also try seeing it from her point of view.

This though? Think if it even matters to get worked up about her being logged in a bit longer.

>>18437042
Slippery slopes are no argument. That's a fallacy.

Break up with her if you're going to be this fucking petty.

The train back to /r9k/ leaves in 5.
If you run you can still catch it.

>>18437052
So if you are Mr.CoolWithEverything, why do you freak out if she is still online 10 minutes after you talked? Almost everybody takes his phone to bed to check news/facebook etc

It's clear to me that op is unsure and feels threatened by the possibility of getting cheated on. Fair enough. But if you can't trust someone, don't be in a relationship with them. Getting this upset over her actions - which I wouldn't even qualify as lying, just a damage control on her part since she probably knew that admitting that she wanted to finish some convos and was online because of that would make you question her even more.

Get yourself together and stop being a child. She doesn't own you explanations to every little decision she chooses to make. You sound like a shitty partner.

>>18437053
Don't get me wrong, OP getting so worked up over something so insignificant is silly and shows he has some issue that needs to be worked on. It's not even really a lie, so I wouldn't really worry about the slippery slope thing

But if anything that you don't need to know is acceptable to lie about that could lead to getting used to lying and end up lying about more and more, the slippery slope (again).

>>18436956

>Actually she's pretty flirty/slutty

>Why did she lie to me?


Uhh you just answered your own question.

>>18437042
I don't understand how she actually even lied?
Like when I say I'm going to bed I don't give someone a run down like
>brush teeth
>check email
>reply to m8s on whatsapp
>have a wank
>listen to the radio as I drift off

Maybe her bedtime ritual is chillin and chattin with her friends, and she wanted a break from talking to you.

>>18437159
English is not our native language but she said something like "I am going to sleep NOW". She said it like telling me good night was her last action (online), but it clearly wasn't.

To those saying that she didn't actually lied: she did, she admitted herself that she lied to me.

Anyways, we had a pretty long talk and we're okay I guess. I tried to make her understand that she doesn't need to hide things from me or to lie, no matter how silly the reason is

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>Says she's going to sleep
>She doesn't immediately go to sleep
>Get mad and confront her why she didn't sleep the exact instant she said it

Saying "I'm going to sleep" is a dismissal, it's a polite way of saying "I'm done talking to you today I'll talk to you later"

She was very clearly talking to multiple people/friends/classmates/whoever way before you had this convo, so why make a big deal out of nothing? How do you know she doesn't have projects or any work or class related things going on she need to use that app?

>inb4 she should have told me what it was if it was occupational related anyway because dating

You don't really have any need to know anything about her professional life as it doesn't affect you being ldr after all, it's just unnecessary info

I don't know what kind of fucked up shit happened to you, but you need to get your lying complex or insecurites sorted out, no girl/guy will put up with this shit

>>18437223
She'll do it again though. Not on purpose but because that is how people are socially conditioned to. People say shit like that all the time.

"Pleasure to meet you"
>Is it really?

"That was delicious, but I'm really full"
>Until you drive by McDonald's and decide you want a McFlurry, I'll bet.

"I'm going to have a shower"
>"...and wank off while I'm in there, too."

See what I'm getting at? White lies make life simple.

She doesn't need to report everything she does to you. She said she is going to sleep, and said good night, so your conversation was done for that day. She had some conversations going as well, so she finished them. Maybe they lasted longer than yours, but she went to sleep shortly after.

The lie was not major, I would not even consider it a lie. Is this your first relationship? It kind of reminds me of how I acted during my first relationship. It just led me to being paranoid all the time for no reason.

You need to trust your partner. She has no reason to lie to you. The more pressure you give her to not lie, the more she bad she will feel and even might end up lying.

You clearly stated you don't like lying, if she understood, then trust her.

>>18436956
What the fuck nigga? Let her breathe. Just what the fuck are you arguing about? I bet you have at least 10 more important problems in your life that you're ignoring and focusing on the nonsensical retarded fight over nothing.

She's probably chatting up her male "friend". Eject now and never look back or you will get caught in a fiery crash.

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Holy shit this entire thread is pic related. Dump her and find someone who will be honest with you.

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>>18437450
>I'm going to sleep
>stays on phone for a bit
>no one other than OP can possibly exist
>she has no family, no friends, nothing. Only OP or another man can POSSIBLY talk to her

ok retardo

>>18437450
>if you're not insecure as fuck, you're a cuck

Alright then.

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>>18437450
>pic related: the thread

I agree with TARS 90% is good enough for me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b-O6zlIkA4

>>18436956
you are over fucking sensitive and possessive.
what the fuck is wrong with you?
if this isnt bait, you are legitimately retarded, it baffles me how you even have a gf.

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>>18436956
2 words for u
>Fertile cumming
She's probably fucking someone on the side

>>18438667
>this sudden Ayoko line
LOL full volume
Wtf

>>18436956
You are a massive pussy