Today's modern society has transformed the definition of

>>18436399
OP I mostly agree with you. I'm not good at one night stand situations but I can land a relationship relatively easily. That being said I don't really have the self control to refrain from sex but I don't like having too many partners

The tl;dr answer is that a lot of them aren't doing it 'to get an easy lay from an attractive guy', but genuinely believe that that is how things should be, or the best that things can get. It's the same social pseudo-psychology that gives you and /r9k/ some weird, negative views of women.
A lot of women have a poor view of men, and a lot of men have a poor view of women.

Obviously a lot of both sides are also rational, level-headed humans who actually believe in love and have perfectly pleasant, stable relationships.

Stop making sweeping generalizations about groups of people.

>>18436407
I could land a relationship easily, but I recently got out of a long term relationship (marriage). And I've been working on myself (exercise 5 times a week, finding a decent job, eating healthy, losing weight) to boost my confidence and reduce my stress.
I feel I still have a long way to go before I can except who I am and only then will I feel comfortable starting a relationship.

>>18436399
For lasting, strong relationships, love is always a choice, not a feeling. What you described is abuse, not a normal relationship. Most relationships are loving and caring - yes, there are sometimes rocky moments, but tolerance is part of what love is; tolerating (or even growing to love) quirks is a very important part of a lasting relationship.

You might be in a situation where you see a lot of relationships like the one you describe, but I assure you that most are not like that.

Yes, everyone wants sex, because true love and making the choice to stand by someone through thick and thin is tougher than meaningless sex - but it's also a hell of a lot more rewarding when you want to have someone who actually cares about you, that makes you happy all the time, even when you're just working at a desk that happens to be in the same room as them.

What you're feeling is textbook confirmation bias. If you want more evidence of what I'm saying, just google 'love is a choice'. You'll see what I mean.

I hope I didn't knowledge bitch-slap you too hard, anon, but it's important you never view what is an essential part of being a human being as frivolous.

Have a good week, and don't stress, you will find the one who makes 'making the choice' worth it.

>>18436413
This makes sense, but I feel I have to "kiss a lot of frogs", before I can find a "princess" and the more "frogs I kiss" the less hopeful I'll become on finding a 50/50 give take love relationship.

>>18436413
Well said, I agree 100% and I think this will become a real problem down the line unless something happens.
Think of all the dysfunctional families that this mentality will render.

>>18436418
I've read an article similar to that claiming "love is an ability". I completely agree with you. Thank you.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lmrIip9B5W

>>18436418
>you will find the one who makes 'making the choice' worth it
lets not get carried away filling his head with lies

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>>18436434
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1lmrIip9B5W

lol. Couldn't take seriously.
This is all I saw while listening to that.

>>18436434
top comment, died laughing

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>>18436399

>Today's modern society

Stopped reading right there. This whole "blaming society" meme is old and played out and it isn't less dumb and inaccurate today than it was 5 years ago.

You're a sucky person with a sucky personality and sucky opinions about women therefore your love life sucks. End of equation. Leave society out of it. Don't drag the rest of functional society and associate us with your pit of sadness and autism just because women hate you.

Society is doing fine. Its you who isn't doing fine. Your deal, not ours.

>>18436505
lol. Just because I don't degrade myself and conform whenever society adjusts doesn't make me a shitty person.
It would be impossible to say that society doesn't influence or change people whether it's good or bad.
I'm not forcing myself to not conform like some hipster. I rather enjoy some of the things society has to offer. It's just this one particular concept I always witness that I don't agree with.
Changing myself to adjust to society is not considered the right thing to do.

Also don't assume you're like everyone else. No one is. Some people are. The false-consensus effect.

>>18436505
Whores are shit and worthless that's a fact

>>18436535
Agreed. But how does one avoid the whore? Just sift through them?

>>18436399

What do you think it was back in the day? That everybody had some sort of fairytale romance complete with singing and dancing?

Love has always been a combination of lust and tolerance, all the way back. If anything, we're far more understanding of this now than we were 40, 100, 500 or 1000 years ago.

You're projecting what you think "love" used to be like based on a perspective warped by media and personal expectations.

I'm married. After the initial "oooh babby so hot" period wears off after a few years, guess what it becomes? Tolerance and lust. There's a lot of other stuff that goes into it too, like caring, understanding, commitment, codependency and much, much more, but those come with time, not up front.

tl;dr Anybody who says "all women are sluts real romance is dead" is probably a sexless neckbeard who thinks that holding a door for a woman entitles him to a blowjob.

>>18436559
Caring, understanding, and commitment is how I define love.
Time shouldn't be a requirement of love. It just makes it easier due to comfortableness and history.
After years and years do you think you can still rely on lust?
I don't feel like I'm entitled to anything more than what I put into a relationship.
Relationships should be an even (yet sometimes fluctuating) give/take compatibility.
There's a difference between tolerating your partner and being with your partner.
I'm not talking about fantasy soulmate shit. I'm just saying that love is more than just a feeling.
Love is an ability. You allow yourself to love someone and you allow yourself to be loved.

P.S. Congratulations on finding someone who tolerates you.

>>18436589
Time is absolutely a component in all of this.

Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? People fall in "love" and get married only to find out two month later that the other person is horrible.

If anything lust is the primary component that drives people together, and "love" comes later in the form of caring, understanding and commitment. How can you give yourself fully to somebody that you barely know? It takes a very, very long time to figure all of that stuff out.

I've been with my wife for close to 8 years now, and there's stuff I'm still learning about her, and vise versa. We've both changed immensely as people, as a result of each other, something that wouldn't have happened had we only been together for a short period.

Our relationship has always been pretty even, but you have to remember, even can mean actually taking more on at times.

I guess I don't understand what you're looking for. Somebody who will instantly "understand you and care for you"? Because that sounds like some "soulmate shit".

>>18436597
We're talking apples and oranges.
I'm not saying that getting to know somebody is unnecessary.
I'm saying that time with a person doesn't make things magically get better.
Sure your bond becomes stronger, but if it's with someone you're not compatible with than more time isn't going to fix or improve anything.

>>18436604
I completely agree.

I can't tell you how many random dates and hookups happened before I found my wife. You can usually tell pretty quickly if things are worth pursing further. The trick seems to be not going into it looking for a relationship.

Just have fun anon, something will work out eventually. If not, you're probably the problem, not society.

>>18436616
Thank you. You're right. I need to relax and stop overthinking it so much.
All I want is to find is a nice girl. I'm not in it to get a high score of how many women I fucked.
And I also need to realize that people make mistakes. I need to learn one's true intentions before I can hastily call them a "slut".