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Unusually trustworthy and low self-esteem Girlfriend

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I met a girl on a night out about three weeks ago, and we had our first date about a week later - it went very well, the chemistry in our relationship is great and we quickly moved on to a second date and had sex shortly after.

The reason I make this thread is because I find some of her behaviours/notions to be unusual:
-She trusts me very deeply more than anyone she's known, despite knowing each other for such a short period of time
-She for some reason thinks I'm a 9/10 level attractive (I'm an average looking guy with acne)
-She became very affectionate very quickly (using endearing terms like babe, honey, sweetheart etc.)
-She decided she wanted to have sex with me within 20 seconds of meeting me (and was prepared for me to ask her in anticipation of the first date)
-She's very shy about some things, and has little faith/self-esteem (she has body confidence issues, even though she actually looks very attractive and I've reassured her several times that she is)

She's been in two relationships before - one when she was 15 and her boyfriend was 19, who was quite controlling and told her to not do things like go out with her friends, and eventually broke 4 of her ribs. The other was a little bit later on where her boyfriend cheated on her with another girl at prom while they were still together.

The reason I'm making this thread /adv/ is because I want your opinion as to why she might be like this - in my mind, I find it very unusual that she's so trustworthy and this into me when we've only known each other for a very short period of time. Are there any red flags that stand out to you that could be an indicator of why she could be like this?

N.B.: I use the term girlfriend because that's just easiest to refer to her as that - we're not officially a couple and we're still just seeing each and we're in the early stages, but I don't know what to refer to her as.at
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Probably bi polar or other mental issue. Dunno. Fuck til the crazy comes out, then leave. If the crazy never comes out, you got a decent girl
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I don't think she has any ill intention for you if that's what you're worried about. It sounds like she's made some bad choices and been around some bad people and is a bit of damaged goods. I'd be careful about saying anything bad to her because she's probably sensitive and you're probably one of the first people to ever treat her exceptionally well and show real affection so that's probably why she likes you so much. Just a guess, probably a fucked up past. Hence why she has low self esteem and such.
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>>18435546
I don't think she has any mental disorder - probably just low self-esteem or a bad past.

>>18435547
>I don't think she has any ill intention if that's what you're worried about
That's what I was thinking at first - maybe she was only with me and did all these things so I would reciprocate and be nice to her, boosting her ego and make her feel good about herself, i.e. attention-seeking tendencies.
>You're probably one of the first people to treat her exceptionally well and show real affection so that's probably why she likes you so much
That's what I figured, but it still doesn't explain why she was ready to have sex so soon and is this trusting - is it really such an attractive quality?

She drinks a hell of a lot though, but not on an alcoholic level - always goes out for drinks with work colleagues (she's easily swayed into doing things) and she casually drinks a fair amount at home as well. Does that mean anything? She's not an alcoholic or shows any of the signs.
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>>18435573
Like I said, probably damaged goods.
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Like the problem with every crazy girl, it's borderline personality disorder.

amiright /adv/?? xD
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>>18435590
Bipolar is like the autism for girls. Much like you can bet good money that an awkward guy will have some form of autism so are overly emotional women bipolar. Way of the world, bud.
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>>18435625

BPD and BP are different things entirely my dude
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>>18435656
Not that guy, but what's the difference? One term is only lacking the "disorder" part
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>>18435666

Bipolar disorder (actually called manic depressive disorder) is characterized by a cycling low depressive state and happy/agitated manic state.

Borderline personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by fear of abandonment, self - harm, emotional dysregulation, and unstable relationships.

The main difference is one is an Axis 1 disorder and the other is Axis 2. BP is mostly just bad brain chemistry that directly effects your mood, and can be helped with medication. BPD the result of bad coping skills learned out of necessity, that can be helped with therapy.
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Tread carefully dude. Relationships that start like this, ie explosive in terms of developed feelings and trust, more other than not end explosively too. Especially with people who come from damaged backgrounds. They could truly mean what they say and their intentions could be good, but their past may affect them to cause them to do things irrational and crazy and end up kicking you in the ass later on. If you're digging this chick, go for it, but just know that this will probably not end well for you. Speaking from personal experience here broski, had a relationship just like this where the feelings grew fast and hard but because she had a shitty past, she took it out on me and pretended she was the victim when she ended things. Great life lesson, painful way to learn it though.
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>>18435765
Exact same thing happened to me
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>>18435517
This is not an advice thread.

This is a humblebrag thread.
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>>18435517
My gf suffered sexual abuse around the age of 12 and it made her a slut. She'd fuck anyone anytime all through hs and college. Good news is she didn't get an std and she's out grown the real self-destructive stuff. Regarding our sex life - she wants me to treat her like a dirty slut and do anything I want. Im no more sane than her so we have great sex.

I'm certain that if I fucked her over it would send her into a tail spins. I mention this only because most girls who've been abused need special care and attention. I absolutely love her and would never do anything to hurt her.
My advice is just be mindful of her past and don't fuck with her head.
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>>18435840
No I didn't mean it like thaf, I just stated them because they're unusual for me to receive those compliments as a person so I find it somewhat odd and far-fetched.

Things like this are why it's difficult to talk about the topic without sounding like I'm bragging or gloating, which I did not intend at all.

>>18436297
>Sexual abuse at 12
I still struggle to believe that there are actually animals on this planet that do things like this - I'm sorry to hear what happened to her, that's horrible.

>be mindful with her past and don't fuck with her head
No absolutely, that was always my intention. Why would I or anyone fuck with her head?

>>18435765
I wouldn't say it's explosive like she said I love you on the first date, and we're taking things fairly slow in terms of affection (other than what I already mentioned in the OP)

>she had a shitty past, took it out on me and pretended she was the victim when we ended things
Why do that, especially when you're caring and nurturing to them? It's illogical, unless this is another one of those "hurr durr women are stupid" episodes.

>>18435703
I'll read up more on that, thank you. Obviously I'm not a therapist, but is there any way I could help her through her problems myself? Would I just try and uncondition any negative thoughts or experiences she has and change her thought process to a more positive one?
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>Low self esteem
>Fucked on second date

I've seen this happen too many times friend, too many times.
At some point in the relationship she WILL sleep with someone else and when you find out and confront her she will cry to you like "I'm just so insecure I had to!".

Be very careful friend, low self esteem cheat a lot, especially if they had previous shitty relationships
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>>18437236
>At some point in the relationship she WILL sleep with someone else

It probably already happened while OP is here writing "oh she thinks I'm a nine out of ten", she's is giving OP flattery out of guilt.
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>>18437236
>>18437248
God fucking damn it, this is starting to get to me.
For those of you who have seen this happen - could you tell me more about it? I want to know what I can expect or how to spot the signs
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>>18435517
Sounds to me like borderline personality disorder. Quickly to get attached, idolizes you very quickly, but soon will start hating you for no reason. Just keep on going, see how it turns out. Best of luck
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>>18437254
To be quite honest the signs are already there, but not all women are the same, so this is just a warning is all.

Low self esteem doesn't mean she will cheat, but low self esteem coupled with shitty past experience like family problems or abuse or past relationship abuse/cheating is almost guaranteed she will cheat.

Rereading your first post makes me agree with >>18437272 probably bpd

Highly recommend this video to everyone no matter their situation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU
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>>18437254
>>18437302
Skip to 2:56
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>>18437302
Thanks for your advice - people on /adv/ always seem to be so wise and helpful.

The more I've been reading about this, the more it's start to fit together and it scares me that she will cheat or do something stupid. I know you mentioned she might not necessarily cheat, but the following things have happened to her:
>Dad killed himself at 6
>Her mum used to read all of her texts, e-mails, bank account statements
>low-self esteem from bad relationships
>cheated on in a relationships
Suggests she's incredibly likely to cheat, which scares the crap of me. If this were to happen, do you know when it would happen? weeks? months? We'll be going our separate ways at the end of summer so it'll be a short-lived relationship - am I going to be with her long enough for her to potentially cheat on me?
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>>18437302
Haven't finished watching this yet, but everything is pretty much in-line so far, and it scares the crap out of me.

What do I do now?
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>>18437334
>>18437367
Tough situation.
You don't know 100% if she will cheat but the signs definitely point to it.

Staying in the relationship and just waiting for her to cheat and watching out for it isn't healthy for your mental either.

To be honest just enjoy your relationship and be carefree about it like it's just a nice romance and if she doesn't cheat you got a good one!
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>>18437367
>>18437370
There are a few that don't apply - doesn't think porn is cheating (watches it herself) and doesn't display the "damsel in distress" symptoms, at least doesn't jump to tell me unless I ask her about it.

Unless I'm naive, she doesn't seem like she's trying to gain control - she's very easily swayed and will do things or go along to be polite.
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She's probably a cheating slut that's overcompensating. Ghost her.
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>>18437385
>overcompensating
So I don't realise or don't care that she's sleeping around?
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This just in: women are people capable of experiencing all of the same kind of things we are.

She likes you, bro. there's nothing weird or abnormal about what she's doing, other than maybe being a bit naive.
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Run. Run far far away now. Girls like this will act sweet and perfect to lure you in. Once they've hooked you they'll play mind games which will drive you mental. I've been friends with these kinds of girls in school and they do the same tricks with friendship and look for a new "victim" when you become sick of their nonsense.
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>>18437869
For what purpose, attention? Or are they just batshit crazy?
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>ffw two weeks, OP is asking why his girlfriend threw out all of his stuff cut him with a knife and screams "JOLLY MAC KNEE" at every dog owner she encounters
You better run, man.
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>>18437947
I honestly don't think she's crazy, just low self esteem maybe
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>>18437903
These girls are crazy girls who like attention. The main upside to insane women is that apparently they make their men stick around with good sex.Think about your own safety. One of the crazy girls that I knew stalked and hit on this nerd guy for ages until he caved in and dated her. A little while later she gets pregnant. A few months later she has a miscarriage and milks all the attentions she can get by posting the picture of the tiny miscarried foetus on facebook. They broke up in the end but they poor guy looked like he aged a whole decade while dating her.
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>>18437969
I feel sorry for the nerd guy, sounds like a rough experience. But I honestly don't think she's crazy - she seems very calm and collected, and hasn't shown any signs of being crazy.

As far as sticking around for good sex, do you mean like she's up for trying anything or it's just better than with most girls?
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Either she's overcompensating to try and avoid mistrusting you due to her previous relationships, or she's trying to manipulate you into becoming besotted and dependant on you because she's just so into you.

Do you know for a fact that she was abused in her previous relationships? Is she particularly up and down at all?

It all sounds very intense very quickly, which is never a good sign and is an extreme red flag. Proceed if you want, but be careful.
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>>18438091
>Do you know for a fact that she was abused in her previous relationships? Is she particularly down at all
I don't really know, she's not quite comfortable to discuss them yet. I don't think anything serious happened, but they were both bad relationships and I think at least something happened that wasn't good.

>It all sounds very intense very quickly
Other than what I've already listed, it's going at a steady pace now. We've discussed what we'd be open to trying in the bedroom but other than that I'd say it's more normal progression.
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>>18437334
wow damn your dad mustve had you when he was still REALLY young
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>>18435517
BPD ALERT BPD ALERT

Seriously dude, this has all the warning signs.
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>>18438110
>I don't think anything serious happened
HE BROKE HER RIBS
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>>18438725
I meant other other than that. I was shocked when she first told me about it, but she didn't really tell me the specifics - wasn't comfortable yet.
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Oh, and another thing. She always takes ages to respond which fucking irks me. It ranges from like 20 minutes to a few hours - doesn't read, just doesn't reply even though the conversation was flowing and she'll suddenly stop replying.

But then again she's bad at replying to people, literally tens of unread messages in her inbox.
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>>18438800
You don't just break someone's ribs without lead up. There must have been a shitton of emotional abuse and lower key physical abuse before he finally crescendoed with the rib breaking.
Thread posts: 42
Thread images: 2


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