How do people just know how to get sex/intimacy?

>>18434740
You're afraid of rejection. It's a natural part of life and it sucks but you get over it and feel good that you at least tried.

The difference between you and "Chad" is that Chad actually takes risk and tries despite the consequences. If a girl doesn't like you she will of course let you know and then you move on to the next.

Aaw I love that picture of ranma.

Anyways, I think having a small glass of alcohol can help reduce insecure thoughts.

You should turn to alcholism and just screw the first girl that gives you attention. Like make it a drunk mission. Seriously start drunk driving to her, your efforts will be rewarded.

>>18434749
i take risks all the time in asking out girls, 2-3 a week. just means i get rejected more. what now?

>>18434749
But I don't know how to take the risk. I don't know what to say when to initiate touch or how to get a girl alone for sex without it being weird.

How did you learn to be sexual? Like was my dad or family supposed to teach me? Did I miss something when I was younger? I only stopped being a virgin 5 months ago when I was still 20.

>>18434777
I guess I'll try that, I heard chocolate can help socialization too

If you're always sexual you will eventually score.

>>18435404
What if you're unattractive, thus creepy when you try being sexual?

>>18435411
Might take you longer to score, but it will eventually happen.

Just be smooth. I'm a charming and manipulative sociopath, so it has always been easy for me.

I was yesterday at the park and this black girl just danced over to me and then twerked on me
I didn't even know her name
What the fuck are you talking about pussy

>>18435431
>t. handsome and outgoing guy

>>18435431
How many people have that happen to them?

>>18434740
>I don't get how people just know when to touch someone, or be sexual, or how to make a sexual move
They don't know. They don't think at all. A desire pops into their head, and they do it. That's what it means to be alpha, to be Chad, and women happily go along with it.

Well only if he's attractive of course though.

This "alpha/chad" talk is such toxic nonsense. It's superficial as fuck and it just messes people up.

The best way to get a worthwhile girl is to be rational and real, to show her that you're mature and that you really care for her, don't chase her, tell her up front once, if she ignores you she's immature and you're just wasting your time. You need to know what you're worth. And if you are a basement dweller NEET, then deffenitly get out and work on it but don't adapt that "fuck bitches git money" mentality, be true to your rationality, be a nice and good hearted person, don't fall for the wrong people, some girls/guys might be hot but they might be totally fucked in the head, trying to impress these sorts of people will always backfire and you'll only mess up yourself.

If you're a virgin, so what? That doesn't make you any less of a human, it's nothing to be ashamed about, if someone were to pick on you for that they a cunt.

As for signs, again be rational, NEVER overthink, go with the first interpretation.

>>18436267
>The best way to get a worthwhile girl
More like your advice is the best way to get a worthwhile girl to instantly leave you in disgust to go be fucked by some real man, who doesn't pussyfoot around and simply takes her when he wants her.

>>18436267
Being biased towards overlying on broscience on how to get girls, and being biased against it to the point of rejecting everything related to it, is but two sides of the same coin called "extremism."

>>18436267
This would be true in an ideal world.

https://youtu.be/wk7F4Efxblk

>>18436267
This is the only good advice on the thread and everyone is gonna ignore it in favor of feeling bad for themselves.

You guys are right, you're helpless and there's absolutely no control over your situation.

>>18434740
Just a thought: ever wonder if you're aromantic, asexual, both, on the spectrum, or whatever?

And nah, in my experience girls for the most part expect to be approached rather than do the approaching. The ones who make a bold first move are rare in my experience, but many might start hanging around you, dropping "subtle" hints, etc., hoping you'll eventually be the one to make a real move.

>>18434740
Self confidence and body language go A LONG way. I know some guys who aren't that good looking but carry themselves in a way women find attractive, and on the flip side I know guys who technically should be considered good looking guys, but they are shy, or their body language is quite backward, and it literally makes them look like a different person.
My friends have always told me they don't know how I get so much interest from women. Being modest, I always brush it off - but for the sake of giving you a reply, I'll put modesty aside for a second. If I think about it, although I wouldn't rate myself highly, I've never had a problem with girls and always seemed to have some interests on the go. I've been told I fall into the 'cute' category, but I have my own things against me, such as being only about 5'7. Girls I've gotten into a lasting relationship with tell me they were first attracted by my self confidence. I think you have to be careful here though. This does not mean being an arrogant prick, bragging, or coming on to women strongly. I've just tried to be outgoing and approachable. I try to be polite, friendly, and in social situations, ie being introduced to someone new, I don't slouch, mumble, or avoid eye contact. Just be firm and positive. As for actually closing the deal and finding a result that ends in getting laid, I must admit that for me its mostly been a little bit of dutch courage involved. Like if there is a girl I've been flirting with, or even if she is just someone I've been friendly with and I am seeing that she is messaging me often, asking to hand out and its just the two of us - eventually you have to realise that the girl would need to be a moron to not see that she is clearly throwing out signals that she is interested. Once I reach this stage with a girl, who seems quite obviously interested - to avoid the games going on and on for too long, I'll ask them out for a drink, and somewhere along the night, when I'm a ...

… bit tipsy, I’ll just jokingly come out with “Ya know what?! You’re kinda hot”. If she laughs or doesn’t have any sense of humour and doesn’t react well, you can just laugh and say “WOW, boy am I drunk”. But most of the time, in fact nearly all of the time by this stage, they’ll giggle, and lean in for a kiss. Over the years I’ve became better at doing this with zero alcohol involved. Mostly out of laziness because I can’t be bothered playing games for too long. Life’s too fucking short!

Random tips:

Learn to slip in a little bit of physical contact. It can be as simple as accidentally brushing against her, touching her shoulder in a friendly way, whatever. Just come up with something that's natural and brief. I think there were some studies that proved this goes a long way in making people interested.

Men tend to respond to visual stimuli, women are often more auditory, tactile, etc. Women also frequently pay more attention to the way you say things than to content. (Yeah, there's research behind these claims. Google it if you want to.) It might be good to train your voice a little and weaponize it, for example.

Sharpen your sense of humor.

Keep trying, see what works, where you need to improve, etc. Practice. Most things in life can be learned as a skill, it just takes time.

>>18436267
>As for signs, again be rational, NEVER overthink, go with the first interpretation.

>tfw severe anxiety issues
>tfw overthink and over-analyze literally every move I make and word I say, as well as those of anyone around me
>crippled by this in almost all social situations, only exception being with close family members and a very small circle of lifelong friends
>even with them it's still bad, just not cripplingly so
>too proud/insecure/embarrassed/anxious to even consider seeing a shrink
>tfw going to rot in my one bedroom apartment, alone for the rest of my days

>>18438005
me too on all points. i never wanted to admit it before because i was too proud, but anxiety has had a huge negative affect on my self esteem, social life and professional life.

i do a good enough job hiding it that the few people ive told about it were surprised. there are situations where i can overcome it momentarily but thats all it ever is, a momentary victory. nothing ever changes in the larger picture

>>18436267
You need to be attractive and learn social cues. Not all of us have that combination.

>>18438005
>>18438019
Yeah this. Especially around new people. And if someone makes fun of me in a group or points out something weird I don't notice I do it makes it so much worse for days or weeks even.

>>18437834
I've thought about it before yeah. I know I'm attracted to women though
>>18437853
I've heard the way you carry yourself says a lot. How should I carry myself then? Like I don't get what people can see and can't see or don't care about.
It's really hard for me to introduce myself & I'm soft spoken.

>>18434740
You have to accept you're not good at it and become satisfied with yourself. I became more fulfilled once my sex drive went down after I stopped being a horny 19 - 20 year old, and pulled myself together after being a fucked up teenager. I too am clueless with girls. I'm also not that attractive and weird around people.

>>18438549
No. This is fucking dumb. I shouldn't have to just give up on it, that's really looserish.

>>18438361
As someone who has mostly overcome social anexiety part there is only good way to get over that shit which in turn will help scoring girls.
1.you have to learn how to love yourself and apprechiate of who you are. That boostsconfidence. If you know your self worth everyone will see it in you.
2.learn to laugh about yourself and remember people forget fast. You may screw up in your speech or do some odd thing but often people barely notice and forget fast. You are just leaning.
3.amexiety is fear of fucking up. Guess what. Everyone fucks up here and then even pros. The question is how you carry it afterwards. Ive seen people screw up horrbly but keep hold by just rationality and comfidence. Also if you fuck up return to step 2

Those are utter baby steps. Takes some time, lots of mistakes but succsesses are worth it. Worked for me.

>>18438621
But people don't forget. They fucking talk about you behind your back after a certain amount of awkward moments/comments, stop inviting you to stuff, ignore you completely, make fun of you to your face and in front of other people (which is the worst imo b/c it galvanizes people against you who were originally ok with you & if you say/do anything back you'll make yourself look even worse and insecure), roll their eyes when you talk, etc.

>>18438516
Confidently. Work on not being softly spoken. Be a little more secure in your body language. Firm handshakes, clearly spoken, direct. It all helps. Its just finding a balance so you don't come across as an obnoxious prick lol The problem with being very timid and softly spoken, is that it will generally only attract the same kind of woman. Thats not a problem - its just that two timid people are much less likely to make a move. You get caught up in a much slower movement.

>>18434880
How exactly do you ask them out?

>>18434740

Smoke weed.

>>18439479
I'm doing that right now dude. That's almost all I do.

File: 1435976607092.jpg (11KB, 148x192px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 148x192px

>>18434937
>without it being weird.

You're too self-conscious to be radiating sexuality. Those that do aren't just risk-takers, they are BOLD and NOT SELF-CONSCIOUS. They don't care if they come off as odd because they do it in a confident way, that almost makes the other person look bad for rejecting them, and makes them question exactly what it is they missed out on with this person.

You need to let go.

>>18436267

No, this is bad advice. Rationality is generally not valued by women. Spontaneity and fun is the name of the dating game. You need to use and work with emotions in a seductive game, not fucking rules and laws. Rationality ISN'T interesting, nor engaging.

>>18438176

>You need to be attractive

No, but it helps. Women aren't as physically dependent as men, but they are more emotionally dependent.

>and learn social cues

That's actually the most important thing. The world is full of people who can't read social cues, and this is one of the most frustrating things for women. If they see you're that type, they will (generally) drop you immediately, especially if they're attractive. They've got plenty of other guys to choose from.

>>18434740
Ok, let me give you an example.

Think about any guy who is successful with women. He's cocksure but not desperate for approval, goes for what he wants in a smooth, attractive manner, and is so self-assured in himself that things simply don't bother him, and if they do, you'd never know.

The best way to get women man is paradoxical. You must believe that your time and investment in yourself is far more important than her. its paradoxical, but women love men who ignore her. It means that he is the prize to be won, that he doesn't need to be needed. Girls LOVE these kinds of guys because they have worth.

The best way to get women is to first stop trying to read them, to understand them, or any of that bullshit. Start with focusing on yourself. What do you want in the moment? What is it that you desire? Lack in self-confidence is a sure sign that you aren't striving in life for something that you truly want. That you have cut off the one thing that attracts women more than anything else: The creative masculine drive.

Don't overthink it. Don't listen to people who tell you bullshit. If you want a woman, go and get her. Train your mind to go for what you want. What would help is a martial art, because when you are constantly fighting and losing, it's humbling and awakens the drive to succeed. Be the boss in work. Show how extremely competent, sharp, and on the ball you are. Women LOVE men who are kings. Donald Trump got the white woman vote despite all of his bullshit because he is dominant. Think about that.

>>18438549
Damn same here dude like 20-21 i completely stopped trying. Still not content with myself at 26 though. Pretty much hate my life and contemplate suicide pretty often. But ill have a good day like once or twice a month, usually due to day drinking.

>>18439806
Ok this is super helpful and eye opening, what are some ways I could "go for" girls? Both approaching them and getting them in bed

>>18440101
invest in loss. Seriously, you have to just go and do it. You'll probably be awkward, creepy, you might scare her off, but just do it. Picking up girls is creepy. You are basically selling yourself as a product to get her into bed. But what's creepier is NOT learning how to pick up women. Thats how guys start watching fucked up porn.

>>18434740
Alcohol really helps this

I was dating my current GF for 5 months and never made a sexual move just because I didn't know how. She broke up with me because of it (she didn't explicitly say it but I could tell) but still wanted to be friends. We went out with one of her friends for dinner and we both got pretty drunk, when we were alone she pinned me up against a wall and made out with me. Would have fucked her senseless when we got back to her place but the same friend was sleeping there for the night, though we agreed that we were back together and that we'd definitely fuck ASAP

>>18438642
Sounds like you're in highschool.

>>18441482
Or from a bad area. There are plenty of outer suburbs where I live, where just the shittiest kind of people live, and they thrive on drama and gossip. It sucks, but these people exist, and they usually gather together, and you end up stuck with them at work or in class. Not to mention that their kids usually pick up the same mentality.

>>18434873
>alcholism
>drunk driving
>rewarded
Yeah rewarded with a very expensive coffin

>>18441482
>>18441507
Every group of friends I've made in college didn't this. The ones that didn't tended to be boring shut ins.

>>18439580
There are certain baseline qualities you need. While you don't need to be a supermodel, you have to at least be average. Ugly fat guys don't get laid without making some major concessions.

>>18434937
Post a pic of yourself.

If you don't want to post face, just post your body.

>>18442859
Why?

>>18443516
I want to see just how hot you are.

>>18441986

You'd be surprised.

>>18434740
Don't go down this road. It's not worth it. Work on your life as a single and get yourself a dog for companionship.

>>18444646
But what does that have to do with anything?

>>18437853
>>18437855

Anon, these are actually really good tips. (I'm not OP but read cus I'm like OP). You're a real bro nigga

>>18434740
>If I'm attractive shouldn't girls around me be seeking me out in obvious ways?
No. That's not how it works and never wasn't. Don't fall for the shit media is trying to feed you.
If You want a woman You need to pursue her. Obviously youre kind of autistic so fetch some body language and psychology books and study them. These are the things "normal" people can do without studying (instinctively) btw. But worry not, huge possibility that you are far more intelligent than normal people...
So go and get those books, heck even Wikipedia would do.

It's about connection, Anon.

I was just like you. I didn't understand how people just 'knew'. I could dress right and talk right, but it always felt like I was doing an act while other people just knew. I have autism and PTSD so I just figured that's where my inability to connect to others came from.

Then I met my partner. We understood each other right away. Our connection is like getting a 6th sense. I think normal people have that connection with others easily, and all the time.

There's hope. Even if you are the loneliest loner in the world, there is someone just like you.

Look for girls who are the female version of yourself.

>>18439806

Lol no. Most women voted Hilary.

>>18445996
>fetch some body language and psychology books and study them
Not OP, but any particular recommendation? Serious, useful stuff, not coaching bullshit

>>18446799
I have settled on finding a female version of myself, I actually did recently while I was tripping on acid at this music festival, unfortunately she lives 5 hours away so it really wouldn't work. That's been the cause of my recent depression, I just empathized with her so much and we clicked so well.

>>18444687
I'd be surprised because it's so uncommon.

>>18446929
5 hours is nothing in the face of love.

You don't sound like you want to be with her though, or she with you. Otherwise you would've found a way.

>>18448182
Shyness/apprehension (also she's really into drugs but 11/10 otherwise), hence this thread's creation. That said she did add me on Instagram & might go to another music festival with my friend group this fall.