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Doing the same thing over and over again.

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I'm turning 20 this year and I've pretty much failed every year of school for the past 4 years.

I've always wanted to go to university but when it comes to studying and school I have no self-discipline and get bad anxiety when I know I should be studying. This usually leads to be being depressed, feeling sorry for myself and then dropping out for the year.

Where do I go from here?
Every year I tell myself things are going to be different but it always ends up being the same shit.

>where do i go from here?

therapy. school wasn't your problem. your lack of self discipline and 'muh anxiety' was. you could go to trade school or just into the work force but you'll spend the rest of your life victimizing your self and then being depressed if you arent willing to work on self.
Sounds possibly like adhd. One of many signs so its not enough to make any kind of solid claim. Id check in with a doctor on that.

Anyway, to be more helpful, you simply arent built for school. That doesnt make you stupid, or a failure, or shitty. Just means your brain isnt designed to do that sit in one place and read shit you barely care about thing. And that is perfectly ok, trust me.

Youre only 20. Hate to say it but you still know basically nothing about life.

Im 30. Tested 99th percentile intelligence when the professionals were trying to figure out why i wouldnt study or do homework, and getting 90s in some courses and 50s in others. I went to university and ended up getting kicked out of university for low grades. I wasnt designed for it and i was totally convinced that it was the "only way to succeed". and thats when my life actually began.

That shits a lie. Since then ive travelled the country, i have a lot of job experience in many different fields from the bottom feeder jobs to a management position where i actually controlled all aspects of a major company in a zone of a large city (like a franchise), which i hated, then i eventually went on to become a carpenter.

I make 30 an hour, ill make 40 an hour next year, and this is hands down the best most rewarding, most fun job ive ever had.

Got my own house, gf, dogs, more hobbies than you can imagine, and working on some entrepreneurial endeavours right now.


You arent mean for uni kid. You arent dumb. Youre supposed to be doing something else. Keep calm and get out now.
I know this is my fault and I'm not blaming school, I just don't know how to change.

I've had some therapy before, CBT I think it was called but it didn't really seem to help me, maybe I should try it again and for longer.

Also, I know it's easy to dismiss anxiety as 'muh anxiety' because of the amount of people that make shit up but it's a pretty physical response for me to the point where I start vomitting.

>start vomiting over the idea of studying

yes, therapy.
Thanks for this man, I've been thinking that maybe university just isn't for me but I guess it's just hard for me to let go of the idea of going to university since it's what I've always wanted to do. Also the uncertainty that comes with not having a degree kind of scares me.

Also in regards to the ADHD I was actually diagnosed as a kid but then they rescinded that diagnosis and told me I have aspergers but I'm currently in the process of getting re-diagnosed to check for ADHD. If they diagnose me with ADHD I'm considering maybe medication.

Yeah. Like i said im like you and i have it.

You don't need medication necessarily.. Its not a disability or anything, just a personality and fancy doctors way of saying "this kid will be shit at school and 9 to 5s so either recognize them strengths and train him properly or give him meds"
If your environment is right then medication is not needed.

But i did start when i was 27 (after my success stories please note) and i will say it definitely does a lot to help with the simpler tasks you cant keep a routine on.

If you get it soon it may even save your uni career. My main point is youll be fine even if you fail or drop out so no need to be anxious.
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