How do you deal with temptation?

>>18429904
Fap.

Is it possible that you married a woman that you are not compatible with? Sex issues are DIFFICULT because the one witholding sex usually feels worse when you tell them they're not being sexual enough.

For some reason, she has lost attraction to you. I have been there.

It's up to you to be uber romantic and make her feel sexy and wanted again.

It's possible, I've done it

>>18429904
Been there, the way I see it you've few options:
- More porn and masturbation and accept your decline into a sexless marriage life which is really common
- Cheat with escorts or someone more willing to while keeping your family intact
- Most people will break down and choose the easiest two options above, btut the hardest yet rewarding one is to seduce her again. Be romatic, be rough, be hard on her. Learn to 'game' her into you again.

I know the marriage counselors and people will say something in line of "have a talk with feelings", etc. It works, if you like 'duty-sex' which will leave a bitter aftertaste and feeling everytime it happens.
Of course she's just having a baby and hormones explanations are valid, but if it result in her witholding sex for that long it became bullshit.

>>18429904
Considering it's only been 4 months since she gave birth, she probably still feels uncomfortable down there. I've known women who took months to fully heal and start feeling comfortable with sex again. Also, some women (sometimes temporarily) lose a bit of their sex drive after giving birth. I'm guessing that's nature's way of telling them to focus on the child or something.
Like anon^ said, you can masturbate while waiting it out.
Or you could try bringing up oral with your wife.
Or be an adult and just properly talk and lay it all out.

i'm pregnant atm, and it's just plain stupid to not have sex because you don't want to "hurt the child". do you live in a 3. World country and have no access to basic pregnancy information or something?
it IS possible that all the hormonal changes she is going trough fuck with her libido big times. imm dealing with the same issue atm. my sexual appetite is just non existent. guess what? i still have sex with my husband. why? because a relationship is not just all about me me me.
this is my second baby, so i know that it can be hugely uncomfortable to have your boobs touched when you start breastfeeding. they are hot, swolen, and sore. it can also take very long to not be scared to have sex again after having had a vaginal birth. especially if you had a tear. but guess what, again? then you have to get naked and try what's possible and what isn't. if you don't even try, how can you know when you're feeling ok with piv sex again?
also, it's simply egoistical to not care about your sexual needs at all. after all, there are other ways to be sexually active than piv. she's just making up stupid excuses to be inconsiderate. what does she expect you to do? your sexual appetite doesn't change because she's pregnant and has a baby... you are not the one going trough all the hormonal changes. ofc she can expect you to be considerate of her "condition", but just denying you compeltely is moronic. does she expect you to suddenly become asexual for no reason and for however long she "doesn't feel like it"? and if she ever catches you cheating or possibly ever looking it's suddenly "all your fault" and you're an "infidel asshole"?
she seriously needs to work on her attitude towards your relationship. now that you have a kid, you two should really not do such idiotic stuff that could possibly ruin your relationship. someone depends on you two being able to keep things going now and she needs to realize that and do her part. and yes, sex is hugely important in a relationship.

>>18430246
to add, maybe she is one of the MANY women who have more of a "responsive desire" than a spontaneous. i'm like that and if i would wait till i'm horny just because, we would never have sex. i need to already be in a clearly sexual situation to "get in the mood". this means that i just have to go with it or initiate, even if i don't feel like jumping on his dick RIGHT NOW and chances are i will get aroused pretty quickly. she really needs to get over herself asap ot she is going to be the one to blame that her baby has to grow up in a split household.

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>tl;dr: Married, no sex, wat do
How have you not killed yourself yet

>after pregnancy, she didn't want to because "women never want to when they breast-feed (hormones or something was her explanation) and now she's been on her first period for what feels like a whole month.

Yea, no woman who actually respects the boundaries of a monogamous relationship does this. Everyone has sexual needs, she is probably getting hers from one of her "friends".

>>18429904
I have never been pregnant, but once completely lost libido because of hormonal contraception.
-don't put pressure on her
-show her you still find her attractive and FLIRT with her.
I don't know how you guys initiate sex, but from my experience, guys in longer relationships tend to expect sex without flirting with the woman.
-keep a balance between being understanding but still show what you want without putting pressure on her.
maybe she even needs to see a doctor because of it, and that's a hard issue to start talking to her about without putting pressure.
don't get angry at her, because if she lost her libido, she is also the one who lost something

>>18430326
oh shut up. that attempt will only ground her in the assumption that everybody has to cater to her needs. ofc he should be considerate, but what about her? i don't see any consideration for her husbands sexual needs from HER side. she's just selfish and that's not acceptable. from what op said, all she ever did was find excuses instead of solutions. that's no way to lead a relationship. ofc there are REASONS why she has lost her libido. but just accepting it and expecting him to do the same is rude.

That is just cruel. I would lose my shit if the bf didn't want to fuck at least once a week.

You need to set boundaries, she is willing to walk over you because you let her. Don't be willing to be her emotional tampon unless she satisfies your sexual needs. If you are willing to hear her inane chatter over some stupid drama, there is no reason she can't suck your dick every now and then.

>>18430336
stop attentionwhoring. go to soc if you need validation.

>>18430342
she's not his kid. you clearly have zero knwoledge about how relationships work. i hope you're under 20, because that would explain your immature views. ofc he shouldn't let her get away with this, but what you suggested is just passive agressive and will NEVER solve anything.

>>18430347
>> ofc he shouldn't let her get away with this,
What do you suggest, rape? Each person is supposed to be an adult in the situation. I'm not in favor of passive agressive behavior either but you also can't make someone else do anything.

>>18430352
>you can't make someone else do anything

no shit sherlock.
what he SHOULD do is fucking talk to her about the issue like adults. if he cannt because he is incapable of communication, then no sex is his fair punishment. if he can't because his wife is not capable of mature communication, then she's a lost cause and op brought this on to himself by being so fucking stupid to marry and impregnate a subhuman being.
his only hope then would be that she somehow realizes that it's pretty important and learns it. chances that will happen are pretty slim.

>>18429927
>>18430099
Both of you give solid advice. As many who've posted on here are really clueless about relationships or ones that involve a child.
As some who ended up in this situation (and still am) and never saw it coming I can say it doesn't always end well. Like most people after 2 years of dating, engagement, wedding, etc. the baby we planned for became a reality. During all of this we had an incredible sexual relationship. After the baby, everything changed. The excuses went on forever until finally the truth came out. She no longer wanted lifestyle she had chosen, to be married with a family. She was no longer attracted to me. We both agreed to do what's best for the child and stay together and raise her. We don't fight or argue and nobody really knows. I feel cheated out of 20 years of my life however, I have a beautiful child who loves me and I want only the best for her. I just masturbate to porn whenever I need to. I'm 5 years into now.

>>18430394
i think the one who has no clue about relationships is you. if you aren't intelligent enough to chose the right partner and then get to know each other good enough to make an informed decision on your mutual future, then you really can't blame anybody else than yourself for your sorry excuse of a life.

>>18430401
Really, so what do you do when someone says this is what I want for three years then says oops maybe not?
We talked extensively about this prior to marriage.

>>18430404
i tell them that they fucked up by marrying a person before they grew up enough to know themselfes enough to actually know what their values and goals are. what you did is marry an immature person with no clear vision and zero introspection. sorry for your loss, friend.

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OP here. Thank you for your replies.

So I also think that somehow, along the way, she stopped being attracted to me. I've literally been waving my shaved dick right in her face after stepping out of the shower but no luck. So I think I need to step up my game further.

I'm kind of a /fit/ guy but recently gained a few pounds due to a stressful job which I now quit. She called me "fat" and that I needed to lose weight ASAP, although she is kind of a chub herself. I don't care though, but seems like she does.

So I married this woman because we instantly "clicked" the moment I saw her, she's smart, witty, funny, sexy, and the sex was wonderful. Best I ever had. But now she just did a complete 180 on her personality and now she's kind of bitchy, dominant and buys expensive shit we don't really need although I keep telling her to cut the crap and save money because I'm fed up with the situation.
Recently, I found out that her grandmother, and her mother, were just like her in their 20s, excellent girls, marriage material, but eventually they turn to shit as soon as they think they "got" the guy.

Any way to "man up" on this? I've read most PUA crap but I've yet to read some good advice on how to actually KEEP a girl and gain the upper hand in marriage. Can you help me out?

>>18430425
>Any way to "man up" on this? I've read most PUA crap but I've yet to read some good advice on how to actually KEEP a girl and gain the upper hand in marriage. Can you help me out?

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/

>>18430425
it BAFFLES me how little you know about women, condaidering you are married and have a daughter. waving your dick into a girls face will never, not ONCE get her aroused. womens sex drive is almost completely cut off from visual stimulation.

you don't fucking need PUA. you need to get your life together.

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>>18430438
>womens sex drive is almost completely cut off from visual stimulation

>>18430425
to add, there's no "upper hand" in a sane and mature relationship. i can NOT believe i actually have to tell you this. how dense can one person be...

>>18430317
>t. u18 MGTOW which doesn't even now how a birth takes place

Imagine you have to shit out a watermelon. You ass and half your dick will be a bleeding flesh wound which will take months to heal. Can you seriously expect a woman wants to get fucked in there while probably still having bleedings and it looking like some butchered steak?

>>18430443
i don't say they don't enjoy visual stimulation, too, but it wonmt do jackshit if the other components are not in place. and girls creaming themselfes over big broad muscly chads is NOT because they think it looks neat, it's because it implies capability.

>>18430445
>This is what roasties actually believe

No relationship is truly equal. Someone always has the upper hand, either consciously or subconsciously. Once you are aware of this fact, you are in a much better position to maximize what you get out of a relationship.

>>18430449
Emotional cheating, kissing, cuddling, handjobs, and blowjobs exist you know.

>>18430460
>maximize what you get out of a relationship

call me again in 50 years when you are bitter and lonely and ready to kys because you never grew out of this childish mindset.

>>18430463
Yeah, nah. If you're vag and ass is fucked up you have literaly 0/10 sexual desire, not even hugging. Women don't work that way and can go for months and years without anything of that kind if they feel so "damaged".

Don't project, just because you would act like that. Getting a kid is a big fucking deal for a woman. In her position I would just allow my husband to fuck some whores in the meantime.

>>18430410
I have gone over this a million times in my head. What did I miss? Where did I go wrong? We weren't children. 28 both with college degrees and professional jobs. We both lived on our own, had previous LTR's. She broke up with her last bf because she said he wasn't marriage material. We clicked right away and had the same goals. I don't believe she faked it all that time. I honestly believe it was a case of she wanted something until she got it and it wasn't fulfilling like she thought it would be.

I mean seriously, what do you guys expect? Your gril has just pushed a watermelon out of her vag and will still need time to heal while her hormones will fuck with her. If you OP really think that she should be fuckable right out of maternity ward you're delusional. Most women take up to an year and than are slowly ready for it again. If you can't fap till she's ready you're not mature enough to get a fucking kid.

Speak with her and tell her take you wish to work on it and make small goals (after 6months blowjobs, after 12 months some handjobs for each other etc).

>>18430500
i can't tell you what you miased. all that stuff you listed sounds nice and is already better than a lot of relationships start out. still, it's not what really counts. she thought she knew herself, but she didn't. how did she grow up?

>>18430425
>Any way to "man up" on this? I've read most PUA crap but I've yet to read some good advice on how to actually KEEP a girl and gain the upper hand in marriage. Can you help me out?

Try to look about dread game. The main idea is to become a man with plentiful choices while being a good husband/father to her.

>>18430529
In a rural area. But left that area for college. I grew up in your typical middle class community.

>>18429904
LEAVE

t. been there, done that

>>18429904
>my woman is avoiding having sex with me
Force the issue, and tell her to stop giving you excuses for not giving you sex.

>>18429904
Cheat. Don't ruin a good relationship because of your penis. Let her naturally get to that point where she's ready. Then get romantic. Sex shouldn't be expected. It's like dating. Woo her. She'll suck your dick if it makes her feel sexy. Until then, just plant your dick in a side hoe until she's ready.

Stop complaining and just wait out the month then fuck. Am a 23 year old virgin here and counting. If you can't take it then be like me and buy an onahole

>>18429904
>How do you deal with temptation?
Very easily, thanks for asking.

>>18429904
Arrange a baby sitter
Take her to Olive Garden
She gets wet at the sight of unlimited breadsticks
Fuck her

>>18429904
Hire Big Jim Slade to restart her sex drive.
https://youtu.be/xQ96dy93mP0

Failing that, you can show her your nuts
https://youtu.be/lENb6OzabPs

>>18429904
only way to solve your issue is to sit your girl down, and ask her what up.

Keeping in mind the conversation must be clam and relaxed, NO anger or guilt in your voice or actions. start out by saying you love her and just want to know what up. making clear this is an aspect of your relationship you value, and want to know how she feels and thinks about it(underline no anger allowed).

there's a million reasons why she might not be interested anymore, and the only way to know for sure is to ask.

also consider asking through a text message conversation since she might be more willing to be open when not face to face with you, but do try to talk in person first.

>>18429904
>>18430099
>>18430212
>>18430326
>>18430391
>>18430404
Op, stop fucking talking. I did >>18431308 as a joke but after some skim reading I can tell most of these posters are pussyfooting. Enough talking has been done. Here is the real solution to your blue balls predicament.
She is unsure about sex following pregnancy. As her husband it is up to you to convince her it is alright, remind her that it is a pleasureful experience. "But how do I do that without disrespecting her?" You're her husband and precious daughter's father, you have an upper hand you wouldn't as a childless boyfriend. She trusts you. Problem is nature has gone and screwed with her hormones so now it's up to you to deal with. After putting the baby to bed, massage her. Use massage oil too. I recommend chocolate-scented oil because chocolate is an aphrodisiac. You might get sex the first night, you might not. The goal is to relieve her of stress. At this point sex is a question of when, not if.

>>18430480
>>>18430463
>Yeah, nah. If you're vag and ass is fucked up you have literaly 0/10 sexual desire, not even hugging. Women don't work that way and can go for months and years without anything of that kind if they feel so "damaged".
>Don't project, just because you would act like that. Getting a kid is a big fucking deal for a woman. In her position I would just allow my husband to fuck some whores in the meantime.


You're gonna be a REALLY good wife someday. I can already tell how emotionally mature you are. I envy any guy you trick into marrying you.

>>18430425

People buy shit when they are feeling down and unsatisfied. Basically they buy shit to fill a void - when you purchase something you get a dose of dopamine and shit.

I know first-hand, and it's not exactly easy to stop. At the moment it seems like something I could really use/really need and I start shopping for it. I get a sense of urgency and purpose, like there's something I need to accomplish. Then it feels great when I finally click 'Buy' and then again when it arrives at the doorstep, or when I'm walking out of the store to the car with my junk. Then that feeling passes and a little while later I sometimes having passing moments where I realize that I didn't REALLY need that stuff.... sometimes I re-sell it other times I just leave it as is.

>>18430500

Don't worry about that other faggot - he has no idea what he's talking about. No one who says "you should have just found the right person!" has any fucking clue.

Yeah, there are certain levels of underlying compatibility... but shit CHANGES. That's the one thing that people can't seem to realize. People (especially Republicans) have this stupid belief that they can control everything in their lives and they're just fucking wrong. You have varying degrees of control over certain variables and you can heavily influence the likelihood of something happening or not happening but nothing is 100% under your control.

Specifically in regards to relationships, think about how much you yourself have changed in 10 years. Think about how people you've known have changed in the past 10 years. Now can you say with absolute certainty that they're going to remain more or less the same for the next 40, 50, 60, 70 years? To think that someone will stay the same or that their personality/behavior can be predicted that far ahead is absolute arrogance.

>>18433065

For example, you can date someone for 8 years, get engaged for 1 year, get married, have kids, and she could lose the ability to feel sexual pleasure due to birth complications.

Or, you date your husband for 1 year before getting married and have an absolutely wonderful life for 20 years with 3 kids... then suddenly over the course of the next 5 he has a life crisis and buys a Corvette and hooks a 25 year old sugar baby.

OR, you marry someone after 6 months and it's 10 years of absolute hell but you're catholic and you don't believe in divorce. Then, suddenly, the both of you reach an epiphany and the next 65 years are smooth sailing as you become extremely close, bonded partners that work as a team.

All you can do is to try your hardest - your partner is 50% of the equation and if you can't somehow convince them to be all-in as well then there's not really anything you can do.