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How do I say no to someone interested in me? Where I work there

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How do I say no to someone interested in me?

Where I work there is this security, more like a receptionist. I always say hi to her, sometimes I joke a little, and am generally polite, and easy going because that's just my personality and how I talk to everyone. Recently a coworker talked to her and told me she even had a pic of me on her phone and that she thinks I'm extremely handsome, etc.

I'm on vacation and tonight she messaged me on instagram (I didn't even know she had an instagram, totally stalked on me) saying something on the lines of "oh so I won't be seeing you soon".

I think I've always been kind of strict with my relationships. I can only be with someone I'm already attracted to and I really don't care much about her. Anyway, I never handle these situations very well. I've been through a recent transformation of my looks and people are starting to notice me more.

My first instinct is always to be nice and pleasing and people confuse that for interest. It feels that saying something to cut things short is always abrupt and rude. I also feel kind of guilty since I'm always lonely and only like last week I started seeing someone after a long time. Guilty for not giving the guard a chance, I suppose.

I don't know, what do you say?
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Don't stress about it. You don't owe people anything.

If she becomes more direct you'll just have to say you appreciate and are flattered but you really only see her as a friend/co-worker.

There's no reason to lie but if you find you can't be that direct you can always say you don't date co-workers, or just started seeing someone, or whatever.
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No guilt needed. If you were just being nice, it's on her for her getting her hopes up. It's not about you. She doesn't even really know you. The best thing is to let her down, politely, like you're capable of, and move on. You could give it a shot, and you might end up enjoying it, but it seems like you're only thinking that because you want to be nice.

The nicest thing to do here is to be upfront and honest. That way it doesn't drag on and cause any more fuss than it needs to.

This might be a bit personal for me, I kind of dated someone because I was too "nice" to say no. For a few months. So just know it's probably better to give someone a chance only if you really want to.
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>>18429333
>>18429342
Thanks for the input anons, that's very sensible.

My first impulse is to respond with "haha yeah, but I'll be back soon" and pretend I don't get it that she is flirting with me. My second impulse is to just ignore the message which is what I have been doing so far.

What I mean is, I get what you guys are saying just right, I just don't seem to be able to do it. Should I answer it with a turn off right now? Should I keep it going until she actually asks me out or something and then say no? It's not the first time I've been in a situation like this and it always drags on and is extremely uncomfortable to me, to the point that I hate when people hit on me.

There is another situation in which a girl called me at work, she asked my coworker for me to ask me something about my work. She did ask and I answered with the routine answer, then she said she called me to tell me I'm handsome and ask if I had a gf. I gave a very nervous laughter and told no (should I have lied?) and then she kind of said she would see me soon and hung up. I don't know who she is, she only told me she visited us (at work, day in day out I receive visits of 10+ people each time, I don't remember them of course) but I'm constantly nervous about the day she will visit me at work. I just live avoiding people because of situations like that.
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this happened to me a couple months ago. she asked me for my number, i was annoyed and stupidly gave it to her cause she did it in a work related way. shed text me and i just didnt respond, she got the hint pretty fast. like someone else said, you dont owe them anything.
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>>18429493
Wait a day or two, then right back what you said "yeah, I'll be back soon though" or whatever. If she escalates, as others have said, tell her you appreciate the compliment but aren't interested. Sure, it will be awkward, but c'est la vie. You are correct that pretending you don't get that she is flirting with you just makes things worse and drags them on.
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