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Anonymous
Relationship confidence issues 2017-06-17 08:23:38 Post No. 18426965
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Relationship confidence issues 2017-06-17 08:23:38 Post No. 18426965
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Yep another relationshit thread.
BF and I have been dating about a year now but he still often talks about his only ex. They broke up about 2.5 years ago and had been dating maybe 1.5 years (not positive on specifics) and he apparently was very happy w/ her until she left him.
Anyway FF to
>two days ago
>we go out for food
>he's showing me a listing of some LP of a band he and his ex used to listen to
>says
>"I bought it for my girlfriend but I don't have a copy"
>he's never bought me any albums
>know he's talking about his ex
>it kinda puts me off but I shrug it off and continue conversation
This is not the first time he's referred to her by that title in present tense with me. Especially in the last couple months he's been bringing her up in (mostly) relevant conversation.
I normally try not to dwell on it and I haven't brought it up w/ him yet as I don't want to be one of those "retroactively jealous" types. But it's really starting to undermine my confidence in the relationship and even myself, especially as a few months ago he admitted he wasn't fully over her but he loved me, wanted to get over her, and wanted to be with me.
I guess I just would like a third party perspective on the situation and whether or not I should continue waiting this out or if I should cut my losses now. Obviously I love him and would talk to him about it first, wouldn't mind some advice on how to go about that either
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>>18426965
This is not normal. Even if he occasionally had something remind himself of her, he shouldn't be bringing up to you or be dwelling on that. That was then and this is now. I'm not sure why he's that way but obviously part of him is affected by how that relationship ended. Before you go off and dump him, I would have this very conversation with him. I would also tell him how it makes you feel. If it continues he needs therapy as he is failing to get over it.
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>>18426972
Thank you for your response! I have always tried to be openminded about his past and the important experiences in his life but this particular topic is not something I find comfortable anymore. I do want to talk to him about how it makes me feel and I think it'd be good to talk about how things ended with her too! I didn't think to bring that up with him so thanks!
I definitely don't want to just up and leave him over this without talking about it first haha! Any suggestions on how I could go about it w/o coming off as overly jealous?
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>>18426965
props to you for being chill about it, honestly, people dont react too well to this in general.
I mean, hes talking about her often... what..
move on or move out.
( using it as a framework for a funny story here or there is fine i guess.. )
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Been there done that. He will cheat eventually, I'd bet on it.
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>>18427365
Yes it is more often I think than someone would normally talk about their past relationships with their current partner. We were together for 6 hours on the day I mentioned in the OP and he brought her up three times.
He is my first serious relationship so I have been trying to go about things as rationally as possible. It's reassuring to know my feelings are a sentiment mostly shared
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