GIOYC -- GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST

I still miss you Princess..I hope you had a great week at work and that you're excelling in your studies

jesus i wanted to run my fingers through your hair.

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Do I ever come back home?

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Thank you, special guy, for taking me to see the wind turbines and teaching me to replace bad memories with better ones.

I made a thread two days ago about dating someone with a child.

Someone responded with much care put into her post, but I couldn't reply it back at the time and the thread was archived.

I want to thank that person for the input.

Thank you!

Do you feel empty inside?
It seems like you have no emotions, except for hunger, sleep, and vague enjoyment.
Can this be true?
I can't imagine it can be true. But maybe you're just a completely different kind of person from me, and I will just never be able to understand you.
I understand you and I were never really friends. You never liked me that much as a person. It took me a really long time to realize that. Last spring we spent a lot of time together and I thought we were really close, but actually it was just because your other friends were busy. You never wanted to be close to someone like me, someone soft and shy. You always wanted to be with people who were rough and fearless. That's why you didn't talk to me for two months. That's why you didn't come to my birthday.
You say you're always happy, but, are you really? I can't imagine it, to be honest. I think you feel empty and desperate inside. I think you're afraid of a lot. I do not believe you're just an animal, who feels only hunger and cold. How can it be that you never feel anything?

I'm FUCKING MAD. At who you ask? The person who has fucked up my life the most: myself.

I don't have the control in my life that need. I let my parents dictate my life way more than I should let them, but I don't trust myself enough to go independent.

I suck at school and always have, and I know a higher education is important, but I just can't get myself to focus on it when I know I should.

I have ambitions and I try to set goals for myself to follow through, but they always fall through because I too much of a lazy fuck to completely commit.

I want to get a girlfriend one day as well, like anyone. But I'm so scared of being rejected again by someone I really like that I don't even try. I get too scared to say anything, and I feel worthless.

I have friends and siblings who all seem to have things figured out and seem to all get their lives on track, and I know that is stupid to think since they don't always have their shit in check. But they all are better at doing the things I struggle just to accomplish.

Why the fuck can't I just do anything right? Why can't I find that confidence I need to help make my life better? Why do I feel so isolated even though I'm surrounded by people everywhere?

I don't why I won't stop rambling and just fix my life already.

i had a dream about you. you weren't here, i had said something in text and you called me.... i miss you and your daughter. and your cat.
i don't know why i need to say this, but you're probably one of the very few people i need to stay in my life. not like that, no, but you're truly my best fucking friend. id die on the inside if i lost you, i love you. you're one of the most important people in my life, you've always been my best friend. i love you.

I want to talk with you so badly, but I don't want to message you first in case you are busy or don't feel like talking with me.

>>18425631
initials?

>>18425363
It's only because if I open myself to you in any form at all, just as much as other people, I will get fucking rekt.

Do you really expect me to truly open myself up to you? Even more ironic is that tbqhwy...you're also distant towards me, hence why I held that mini grudge towards you.

I'm a mirror of where I'm at. I represent the world I live in. If my world is cold and distant, I too, become such.

>>18425656
DG

My partner cheated on me and I can't get the praises he said to online whores and sick perverts out of my fucking head.

Good god, why are all the nicest, sweetest and possibly most interested (in me) women all married.

I don't want to be a douchebag. I want to be a decent guy with a decent girl, yet the only girls that don't find me creepy and show interest are married.

Ever get the feeling you were supposed to be a bad guy, a criminal, a player, whatever it is?
I swear being good never works and being bad gets so fucking tempting.

I remember being a little asshole at school. Being racist, getting into fights, saying the first thing that popped into my head.
I remember that I got into a little bit of trouble (but never alot of trouble) and for the most part, I was rewarded with friendship and admiration.

I try to be good at my job and get targetted by shitty managers.
It took my snapping back into old habits and breaking shit then threatening legal action to get them to stop.

I can see myself being the kind of guy I don't want to be if this one girl gets any closer to me. I don't want to ruin someones marriage (but I do want to be with her).

>>18425674
Dump his ass

>>18425674
dump him

Damn, why can't I stop worrying about the future? It's all so contradictory too. I agonize about whether I want to get married and have kids, and then I fucking recoil at the thought of both options.

I wanna live in the now, but fuck me it's so difficult to do.

>>18425305
Selfish whore.

>>18425363
initials?

>>18425755
Gaslighting degenerative man-whore.

>>18425954
What have I even done to deserve this treatment?

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>>18425962
Back to ignoring whoever you are.

I want to die alone

When I'm around you it's perfect, time doesn't exist. Those moments turn into hours that then disappear once you return to you darkened cave and I'm left alone to wonder what if I said this or did that. Would it change anything? What can I do to show you it's real and not a ruse? I know if i leave you be, you'll flounder and perish. If I stay the emotional cost to me will be high, but the rewards of having each others existence will be worthwhile. I don't need a dog, I need you, while the radio screamed at me earlier that (you) can't always get what you want, to remind me that we've been so close but so far.

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Well shit lads, basically i need to get over someone, that's the gist of it. I made a thread but there were no replies, instead of writing the details here you can just take a look at it >>18425923

I'd really appreciate your advice guys.

Pic related is what she looked like when we met...

>>18425966
now you're the one talking to the wrong people and not being able to figure out who's who. is it fun? no it's not. and now you've got the wrong idea because communication isn't clear.

I tried to fix that.

>>18426114
btw, one sexual partner does not a manwhore make. if you want to use being a dom (though probably not what you're thinking) and having smoked pot years ago as a way to call me degenerate though, go on ahead.

thinking about you hurts today. i wish you would call me, but who am i kidding

The chick I've had a crush on for the longest in my life has been single for a while. Shit i hope shes not slutting around. If i ever get my money right I'd go for her again.

I was probably part of the reason my ex who I am still very close to killed herself last night, because my phone stopped working for 3 days and I couldn't contact her.

I dumped another guy. I hate it when people ask me out -- why? I'm older than fuck and I come straight out and tell them I'm trouble. I tell them I wouldn't wish myself on anyone, and it's true. I'm damaged goods. And yet then they still want to see me. I can't feel anything for anyone. The only people I can see myself with are horrible people who will never be with me.

I'm sorry that I used to send you mixed signals, I didn't mean to, I just couldn't keep the facade up anymore. I was tired. I wanted you, but I was afraid of sex... I'm always afraid of sex...

You couldn't guess and I couldn't tell you...

I forgot how shitty it is for people to make plans in front of your face and not invite you. This hasn't happened in a long time so I was hoping it wouldn't happen again.

I had a recurring thought that you might message me on my bday. I don't know why. It's not like I was disappointed that you didn't. I kept telling myself it was a stupid thought to entertain, but I kept having it.

This time last year was the beginning of the end for us. Can't believe how quickly it's flown by.

>>18426114
>>18426119
Oi, you got the wrong girl and sorry to hear about your troubles. 1 sexual partner is low for a guy and extremely uncommon where I'm from (USA) but it is attractive knowing there are guys who keep their body count low. Communication is important and it's hard to say why she didn't bother becoming better at it with you but it goes without saying she was showing you that she didn't care for you or respect you. Understand that and be ready for the next one, I'm sure you'll do just fine.

I'm always fucking things up. You trust me and I just make things worse. You are the fucking best and I keep on failing you. Again and again. You deserve the best, but you chose me. I don't want to hurt you anymore but we both love each other so much. And I swear I try. I just want to help, or at least, not being an obstacle.

why the fuck would you give me your number, talk non stop with me for days, fucking set me up to ask you out but when i do you completely cut all contact. like wtf is wrong with you? tell me 'no' if you don't. just don't ignore a friend for days like its nothing.

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I know we agreed to go camping tomorrow but we never set a time to leave.

Are you going to text me tonight establishing a plan or do you actually expect me to dink around until you decide to message me tomorrow? Makes me incredibly frustrated. I have half a mind to text you something like

"You will need to message me earlier next time. I have made other plans since you didn't tell me when we would be leaving to go camping."

I am not sending any more messages to you today unless you initiate it. You didn't respond to the last one.

Today, a woman I did not know told me to kill myself.
As soon as I got the chance, I masturbated while fantasizing about being so utterly under her control that I would actually do it just because she told me to, with her loving the feeling of power as I died.

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>have fetish for stuffing my stomach/gaining weight
>hate actually being fat
>trying to lose weight is basically hand-in-hand with nofap
Someone help. Or just kill me.

>>18426285
Nice!

>>18426290
This made me wet. I have the same issue, anon, except I'm a girl recovering from bulimia.
>hits the gym 3-4 days a week
>2 hours of cardio a week plus weight lifting
>keto meal prep just cos'
>hate feeling fat
>hate the image of gaining weight
>somehow wants to be a gainer to be fed mass quantities of food while being porked plus tons of tummy rubs and thigh squishies

I visit /d/ too much

I'm drawn to this place out of curiosity. People assume the worst in others, general cynicism, stereotyping, making generalizations and jumping to conclusions. I feel like many problems could be solved by empathy, but most peoples' pain here has made them determined to hate others and isolate themselves rather than remember and cling to the good ones.

>>18426296
I'd be honored to feed you, fuck you, and be the sole source of income while you maxed and relaxed and got bigger and softer.

>>18426303
You're a sweetheart. I'd be totally down if you promised to wear a cock cage for me, don't want you running off with a smaller girl with no jiggle in her step.

If you decide to fuck her, or even if you already have- I can never talk to either of you again.
I will never forgive you.
It's not. fucking. fair.
You are such a shitty person for the way you pretend to be honest and sweet and loving. You are a shitty person for what you're doing.
I did everything for you. EVERYTHING.
I literally walked you into the restaurant when you were looking for employment and got you a job. You didn't even have to talk. You were hired in the spot?? You never thanked me.
You said you wanted to learn the violin so fucking guess what I bought you? And guess what you haven't touched since? I told you that it hurt me but you didn't care.
So many times I went out of my way to make gestures for you. This Valentine's Day I spent so much time trying to plan a lovely evening for you and I didn't. Even. Get. A. Fucking. "Happy Valentine's Day."
I told you it was over if you didn't show me you cared. Only when it got to that point would you even think about trying.
On my birthday, you fucking invited your friends-whom I don't know! out to dinner with us and talked to them about video games. It's like it wasn't even significant to you that it was my birthday and I felt sad and unloved and you just wanted to be with your friends. As always.
One of them kept complaining about how they wanted spaghetti the entire time. At the Thai restaurant. My favorite place.
Until you started being a dick I was ready to marry you. I wanted to do everything for you for the rest of my life.
Even if I was being taken for granted. I love you. I'm so pissed at you and myself for putting up with it.
Fuck you man. This just isn't fair.

>>18426310
I hate shit like that, but for a fat woman I support financially, I'll put up with it.

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>>18426322
I am sorry you were hurt anon.

I keep thinking that you're trying to get me to call her... but why would I? Every other time I tried contacting -literally anyone- they never reply. It's clear they are not getting my messages, that they are being blocked. When they do reply it's weird. Again, it's clear the messages are being intercepted and someone else is replying to me. You guys keep repeating the same scripted agenda. It's weird, and pointless for me to try anymore.

I just want to start my life already. I want to know what is wrong with my mind. I want to know why I have seizures at night. I want to know why my face and upper back are numb. I want to know what is wrong with my body. I want to know what being "xxy" means. I want to know which STDs I have. I want to know if the transition surgeries are even possible to get natural looking results because if it isn't possible I don't want to do it. I want to know what happened to my exes. I want to know what the fuck happened with R. I want to know who my real parents are. I want to know if I even have biological parents or if I was fucking "made".

Please, end this already. Tell me what is happening.

A, please give me something to work with.

You fucked me up. i know you just used me because i bought you things, I knew the words you said meant nothing. I fell in love with you anyways, and once you were done you left my life, carried on like nothing ever happened, and left me here to deal with it alone.

>>18426325
You're a good man. May I have belly rubs now?

>>18426364
You can have them any time you'd like.
And thank you for the praise.

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I want head scratches until I fall asleep.

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Oh so now you respond? I don't want to talk which genre of movies you want to watch. Fuck off.

I'm stuck in a vicious circle. To begin with, I'm depressed, and the only thing that still feels good besides masturbation is eating. That leads me to maintain a terrible diet where I rush for all the pleasure I can, and making me less happy in the long run. Whenever I adopt some philosophical approach to it and concentrate on my willpower, it always fades, and the lack of pleasure makes life feel totally empty.

I know, I should persevere and ditch all the junk food. But god damn it, why can't I also have some pleasure apart from that? I don't even really fap now, so food is all I have.

>>18426399
>junk food
...You do know that healthy food can be delicious, right? You just need to know how to cook.

>>18426404
I don't know how, or have any clue where to start. And I think my body's addicted to both sugar and coffee.

>>18425283
How come you call her Princess?

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I don't want to have romantic feelings. Please help.

>>18425666
That is my crushes initials! He doesn't have my #

>>18426168
What's to be afraid of?

>>18426261
How rude

>>18426461
Dont fight it

>>18426133
Fuck money. You don't need to "have your money right" to be loved by someone. If they make you think you do, it's best not to be with that person.

>>18426493
But I have to. I'm already kind of with someone else.

>>18426459
Not OP but there are nany possible answers to your question. It could be her moniker or physical name but I doubt that. He uses the title with a capital P in a way that implies ownership and endearment. He probably treats her by the way he acknowledges her name. That's his Princess and he believes it's his duty in this life and the next to care for her and love her, to take her away from all the bad in this place.

Just ta...just an assumption. For all I know OP could have been a total shitbag who is expressing remorse for a princess girl who treated him well while he did her wrong.

>>18426533
Thanks for the input. I'm guessing he is expressing remorse, which is why it is being posted here. I hate to assume. Hopefully they respond.

>>18426407
Honestly, the unhealthiest thing seems to be processed sugar (aka, sugar that isn't in fruits); the way it metabolizes is different than regular calories. A good first step is to never drink soda again. Or get sparkling water instead.

Coffee isn't all that good but it's not awful unless you're a chain drinker or have heart issues.
Ever try black or chai tea? Sissy I know, but I'm asking because based off my experiences, coffee makes me feel kind of shitty while tea doesn't.

I can't really fault you for not knowing where to start. If you're lazy, then you could maybe do what I do.

Have you ever considered making smoothies? They're really delicious imo. They're blendable in 4-8 minutes and blenders can be gotten for 20$~. I bullshit it and usually use...
>slightly sweetened milk like coconut milk mixed with some water
>frozen fruit or something like that (don't get that concentrated juice bullshit), a half of a banana adds a nice thiccness to it
>veggies if I'm feeling adventurous, some people use protein powder
What I've noticed is that when I drink them I feel much better without a sugar high and, at least to me, they're better-tasting and more refreshing than ice cream. Once you get into it, it gets more fun to mix-and-match.

I also am a fan of roasting veggies. Prep them and season them up to you tastes and they're usually delicious, there's no "cooking" that you have to do. Of course, it could just be my easy-to-please tongue talking but it's always worth trying.

If you're really lazy and lack delicious spices, you can just get some baby carrots, salt/pepper/lightly oil them (maybe avocado oil, olive oil is unhealthy at high heating points) and roast them. No guarantees that you'll love them, but it's worth a try for anyone. Veggies are extremely filling and the hallmark of any good diet. You can also pair the baby carrots with anything...like avocado dip, hummus, or greek yogurt. Things like sweet potatoes are also great to roast.

>>18426339
longshot but your initials?

I'm not sure why I'm still alive. Life can sometimes be enjoyable, but for me it is really devoid of deeper meaning. I sit idly and waste my potential; I know that this is pathetic, and as a result I can't complain too much about my actual situation. I'm unmotivated to bring myself to a better place because I don't think anything could fill this absence of purpose I feel. I spend most of my free time daydreaming and trying to escape. Every night, I pray with all my will that the next day will bring me some epiphany that instills my life with meaning. I don't know what that could possibly be, though.

>>18426527
How long have you been with them? It's normal to have crushes in a relationship, especially one that's long term. It's just lust, and it's what you feel in any new relationship and it doesn't last forever. This is can be a turning point in some long term relationships if you aren't really in love with your partner.

>>18426658
A year and a half. It was pretty serious and we lived together, but I'm living on my own right now not too far away from him because I'm not emotionally mature enough to be living with him right now. We are still very much involved.
This person is also one of his close friends. I have a slight bit of feelings for him but I do not plan on acting on it. I want to get rid of them.

We used to be so close, emotionally, physically. Now, we still call and text and chat like everything's fine, but even bringing up the idea of us kissing is gross to you. Me going away seems to not even faze you, like you wouldn't miss me near you, holding you, making you laugh. It's been so long since I held you. What happened to us? Why do you take me for granted?

fuck. that smile and calling me, what did you call me? babe? boo? beau? it wasn't my name. that's like stuck in my head now too, you got in my head, that'd be cute and comfy to hear a girl say. anyways, it likely means you're into me but I am coming off getting really fucked up and I'm so emotionally vacant even if there could be something I don't think I have what it would take to chase. I mean I'm operating on like 50% right now. like all the work would have to be on your part and I'm not even sure I could be a decent bf atm. also half of my shit is in cardboard boxes and I sold furniture for a move that isn't happening now so my place is pathetic. like, I swear the timing in my life is some kind of sick joke by god sometimes. it's like some kind of movie or something.

fuck.

>>18426722
that body though, damn girl.

>>18426722
Probably "bae"

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My girlfriend is a condescending bitch.

She's trying to "train" me to meet her family because I'm a republican and thinks I'm an asshole about it. This is based on one time when her dad and I were talking politics and I finally realized that he isn't listening (and neither does she because she takes all her cues from her dad). I honestly couldn't give two shits about talking about my politics because, I'm not a liberal, and I get tired of talking about politics all the time.

She's lectured me about "getting better" about this like six times this month alone. She can tell how annoyed it makes me, and I told her to stop bringing it up every single time, but she just won't fucking stop!
Why is she even with me? She obviously hates everything I stand for, she gangs up on me with her fucking dad all the god damn time, and always tells me to get new (liberal) friends.

Before the election I thought I was gonna marry her someday. Then she and her fucking family got bit with the Trump delusion bug and things have been a fucking misery ever since!
I don't want to talk about politics! I just want her to shut the fuck up about Trump for five god damn minutes and let us talk about the shit we used to.

I can't handle this shit anymore.

I cannot fucking believe that you would bring up months-old garbage to tell ME that I'm the one holding grudges, that I'M the hypocrite, especially to prove a point about ill will towards someone who literally decimated a community and to this day blames the whole other half for all his problems. I cannot believe that you say we're fine and chill and then the second someone has beef with me you just jump on my back, saying, "You're always like this, you do nothing but this," but then when the dust settles suddenly you say this "isn't like" me. fuck you saying I don't belong playing in an RP group for shitty DBZ people with a fan-race or a "too cute" char when you're a literally fucking Pokemon 70% of the time. I can't believe I still talk to you. If I didn't have to be nice to you to hang out with any of my friends I wouldn't.

>>18426753
that's the one I was forgetting. I've never been called bae. it was cute.

I don't know how we went from being best friends to you not giving a shit about me in so short a time.

>>18426780
did you fuck up massively, abuse the person, disrespect the person massively, steal from them, etc? cause with me I ghost pretty hard if those things happen and there isn't a point in my mind to the negative emotions that come with that. I deal with them quickly, and I distract myself. I don't have time to spend like a year getting over someone. I had a few days this last time. a few days before I needed to be in a functional headspace to be better than at least 80% of the population. I'm still fucked but only people that really know me would be able to tell I'm anything but bored. everyone that really knows me either moved across the country, got taken by my ex in my last break up, or has been long gone just because life happened.

protip, they probably still give a shit, they just know that showing it is a bad idea.

>>18426795
No, they even admitted I did nothing wrong. They just abandoned me for another guy and made it clear I was no longer wanted.

>>18426080
Cut all contact. Focus on her flaws. Focus on improving herself.

Next time you want a girl make it clear you are not interested in being friends with her. Be aggressive in pursuit of a romantic relationship. If she doesn't reciprocate move on (cut contact) before you become too emotionally invested.

I wish I could sing.

>>18426764
You mean to tell me you still support a man who mocked a disabled reporter, wants to defund planned parenthood, wants to abolish the ACA because it taxes the rich (who don't need that much money in the first fucking place), and said "grab her by the pussy"?
Wow. Jeez. If anyone is bit by the Trump delusion bug it's you. Break up with your gf since you are a complete and utter retard and she deserves better.

>>18426764
Dude these fucking people... I can't listen to NPR anymore because all they talk about is Trump all goddamn day every day and it's seems people in real life are like that too. I just started saying I stopped following politics and it seems to have worked so far.

Melissa. I'm younger than you but I want to keep you here. Your boyfriend will grow further from you if you continue like this. If you were in my life, I would do what I could to make both our lives better. You are in my life but, I want you to be with me. I can't lock you down, you're a beautiful and kind person. I'd give you love and appreciation. I just want to hold you in my arms because... I love you. My best friend.

I don't know what I did to deserve being thrown away by you.

>>18426807
welp, then you keep goin. I fucking got handed some of the most massive bullshit I've seen in years recently, you just keep going.

>>18426827
He didn't mock a disabled reporter. Planning parenthoods is not a function of the federal government and it should not be doing it. The ACA was the largest tax increase on the WORKING CLASS in my entire lifetime. And who doesn't like grabbing pussy? Im not the guy you are responding to but you are throwing a tantrum about literally nothing.

>>18426764
Idea: stop talking about politics and don't participate in any politics-related they bring up. Makes life so much easier. Just smile and nod, or just don't part take in it at all.

It hasn't been a month yet but I'm getting sick of this already.

I didn't even know you existed until a few months ago, at first it seemed like you didn't like me. Tonight was different, they way you looked at me and called my name said it all.

I think you're sexy, your curves drive me wild. The way you bite your lip when I catch you staring at me, I know you think I'm not looking.

You look so soft, so loving and warm.

I notice you try to hid how you feel, and I'll admit that your facade is good, but I'm better at hiding my emotions. When you hugged me tonight, I felt your big breasts press against me, you lingered longer than you should have. I heard you breathe my scent in deep, it's why you stayed close to me as possible.

My best friend has been your boyfriend for quite some time, that doesn't matter to me, I would make you cum better than he ever could.

My friends weren't paying attention when you said you were going to change into your pajamas. The door was cracked perfectly so I can see you entirely. Your nipples are so pink and puffy, your body is perfectly plump and your ass is just right. I love girls who keep their bush. You caught me looking, you gave me a show, bending over and showing me your pussy.

The next time I'm around, I'm going to fuck you.

Hi K, I wonder if life's been treating you well. Anyways, I hope you and that woman suffer from living hell. Not once did I contact you in anyway, but somehow people talk about how shitty and crazy I was. What. Your family heard about that rumor and until today theyre still trying to contact me and apologize for the shits you've done. I was depressed for months because of how you left me for someone else and that rumor started by your woman. But I am good now. Life is fair and humanity somehow still exists (eventho I didnt see it like this months ago). I'm still bitter tho desu, but you are forgiven. Please don't crawl back to me when you realize that I'm the fuckin best. Good bye.

Send my regards to your family, I love and miss them with all my heart. Sometimes I wonder how someone like you related to those kind hearted people.

>>18426459
>>18426533
I am op
I call her Princess because that's the nickname I gave her while dating her. She and I presently work at the same place and we have different schedules like sometimes she may work on our shift. The times that I do see her she smiles and wave at me. I don't necessarily call her princess now but by another nickname that I never called her but everyone else does. We haven't really talked since we broke up and I have been tempted to reach out to her on social media and ask if possibly we can be just friends and start over but I don't know why I hesitate. Hope thats a satisfying response.

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You're fucking with me. That's all this is. You're fucking with me.

If I actually cared about life and had any kind of motivation to anything I would put together all the music videos, movies, shows, youtube videos, celebrities, and politicians that have created content either about me or for me to prove that this is really happening. All the pretty women with white/grey hair, all the music videos with blue/red lights, all the videos about a wedding, with the stars, the geobbel glasses, and more...

It's everywhere. It's constant. It's gotten to the point where I can't watch ANYTHING without it being about me. I watched e3 and every conference had multiple references about me. I watch a twitch stream and they reference me. I watch TV and it's about me. I look outside and there will be people dressed in clothing that referneces me. The advertisements are about me. The captchas are about me.

Everyone in the world is talking about me. They are obsessed with me. There have been riots over freeing me.

The world is falling apart BECAUSE OF ME.

If I killed myself it would cause WW3. If I was murdered, it would cause WW3.

What the fuck am I?
Who am I?

This maybe natural or maybe not.

What I had for you was an accidental crush. When i came to meet you, I hadn't had the intention to make you my girlfriend. It just was you were sitting quietly there all alone and I wanted to make just friends with you. A while into our friendship you seemed like a very good person and I kind of fell in love with you. I don't think it's a crime to fall in love or to have a crush but I just did. When after you told me that you are actually in a relationship with someone, I felt a pin poking my heart. Normal to feel, right? It's my mistake. If you had told me that you had a bf earlier I wouldn't had felt a regret that I am going through right now. Yes it's been an year and half since we are best buddies now an we see each other as siblings who fight and be happy together. I want this way. I shouldn't had fallen in a crush with you.

I say this because I get flashbacks of you when I don't want it at all. I don't have anything angry against you. I just wanted to confess this here. So I may feel good later on. I hope I feel that way.

I actually like that girl who you always tease me with. I already like that girl the moment I saw her but I didn't take it forward and thought about my future with her like I did with you. BIG MISTAKE. This girl is just a crush.

IF anything I have learned is a lesson, it would be that. See every lady as a friend and not as a potential girlfriend. I was a pretty lonely guy and maybe that induced me to like you more. Now I value every ladies more. I value our friendship a lot more now.

Part of my objectification of woman and loneliness was the result of my porn addiction. I'm recovering from it now. I'm trying to change myself now.

I hope I get over my present depression or anxiety or whatever it is.

I don't know if anyone would read this but thank you for reading it all. Have a good day.

I dated a guy for two years and he made me change everything about myself so that he could see me as perfect. The worst part was it was all online, and I had broken up with him previously, but I got lonely because of my shit friends not caring about me anymore and kept making excuses for not inviting me to anything so I just got deeper and deeper in the relationship because I was fucking lonely. Everything reminds me of him and it fucking sucks I can't even watch a movie without hearing the words pay attention in my head. We were going to watch something together but God forgive I space out for a second. He asked did you see that and I wasn't sure what he was talking about so he said no and then he said Well, to watch this movie anon you're going to have to pay attention so he just X'd out and decided to go to bed without even saying goodnight. He was so fucking manipulative always blaming the relationship failing because it was my fault and he was this perfect angel that never did anything wrong to me and I'm so stressed about it. While I was with him I felt like I was a dog in 100 degree weather chained up to a fucking fence I couldn't do anything without his permission without telling him where I was going and I could never do anything to make myself happy. For my birthday I decided to dye my hair purple because it's my favorite color and this fucking asshole let me tell you, I was already having a shit day because ny mother promised she'd pay for my hair appointment bc I was broke at the time and jobless but she didn't have it the day on my birthday when I've asked months in advanced I was already crying because my birthday is always fucking miserable I've been celebrating it alone since I was 9 years old, but anyways so homegirl auntie comes in saving the day offering to pay for the appointment for me and I'm screaming because I was so overjoyed getting things to actually go my way and the time I come home and show him my hair expecting him to be supportive

>>18426918
Same guy here.

To anyone that's wondering why I want to stay best-buddies (or as she and I would call siblings) is because of the following reasons.

>She's older than me by 2 years.
I know age shouldn't be an issue but as to my preferance, I don't want a girl who's older to me. I mean I kind of have a respect towards anyone whos older than me. Being in a relationship with a girl as same as my age would be more relaxing to me. As I told, it's just my preference.

>We may have some same interests and views but we won't match if we went into a relationship. But as I told in the first/previous post, I like an another girl and am preparing to confess to her when it's the right time.

>I now see her as a sisterly figure who helps me in almost everything. My work, studies, my speech(I have stammering), etc. She's more like a mentor to me now.
I have no problems in seeing her this way because I feel like this way is better than actually going into a relationship with her. I reach to her when I need serious help and she does the same. It's almost like 2 male best buddies.

That's all. Peace to everyone.

>>18426925
continued
So I come home, snap a picture of my hair and send it to him and he fucking says, "Your hair looks ugly." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I WAS ALREADY HAVING A SHIRT DAY AND THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING SAY? WHAT KIND OF SHIT BOYFRIEND ARE YOU?! Anyways, weeks follow and he's still mad at ME. I should be mad at him. I was very passive about it trying to fucking forget what he fucking said, but he just kept going with it. We were having another conversation and he just goes, "I can't help but feel your dark hair suited you better. Why do you have to make things so damn difficult?" I was upset. I didn't say anything. I should have broken up with him on my birthday. He hated so many things that made me happy. He'd insult the bands I liked, he said my makeup looked bad and I'd look so much better without a cake face but all I ever wore was eyeliner and occasionally lipstick to events. Another leading cause of the problem was when he replied "gross" to my drawing one day and normally I wouldn't be upset but I was really proud of it so I just didn't reply.. and I really want to throw up thinking about it but I said I would get over it when he asked why I didn't reply and he fucking replied with, "Getting real tired of this. Maybe I'll go find somebody else to put my time and effort into." This was when he started getting worse. I couldn't believe the words I saw on my screen I thought this must not be real. But it was. I was in fucking tears and he told me to stop ignoring him. How am I supposed to reply when my eyes were filled with tears? To make it worse after he typed that he typed, "I doubt you even love me." What was I supposed to do? I was going insane. I wish my first long relationship wasn't so manipulative. I loved him so much I can't believe I was so blind to all of this.

>>18426939
I'm not clear but are you still in a relationship with him?

If you are, he's a toxic person to be with. Sorry to say that because reading both your posts made me think that.

>>18425287
Now I remember the last time I had my hair played with. Goddammit, I want that feeling again.

i have feelings for you, i WISH i could be alot more clear to you Jen. i dont love you but i feel something foir you and i wish i could be more loving infront of your husband

>>18426947
I broke up with him a week before Christmas. However, everything reminds me of him. I look back at photos where I thought I looked cute but I just can't see myself as cute anymore because everytime I did he'd find one flaw and ruin it for me. He asked me why I made a certain picture my profile picture and he kinda scoffed and said, "She thinks she's pretty." I was breaking down. I don't know what I did that was so wrong.

I want to scream until I disintegrate, everyone assumes I'm content with my life while I'm truly miserable. The people I know seem to have this notion that I'm the strong silent type who doesn't need the affirmations of others, but I'm truly lonely. I'm afraid that opening up to them will make them think less of me, either because they see me as weak for my dependence on others or because they see me as a false person for hiding this facet of my personality for so long. If I'm not making some sort of progress in life I instantly begin to despise myself and refuse to let myself enjoy anything, seeing it as procrastination or escapism. The thought of death and release is the only thing that brings me relief anymore.

well that was soul crushing.

>>18426939
this is life.

it saddens me, I dont know you. but man its sad.

I wish someone comes along for you that will adore you for your cute drawings and love of bright purple colors and most of all that he brightens your birthdays.

no girl should ever have to feel bad for her birthday.

forget that faggot. dont think on him at all anymore. keep your chin up and look to future.

I wish you all the best. you and every girl out there with a heart of gold. you are all the sisters I could never hold

>>18426959
Oh alright. Well, I don't find anything wrong in what you have done. He just wasn't accepting/respecting you and was constantly finding a flaw in everything you did. Sorry that you had gone through all this. Hope you find a person who actually loves you.

I kind off understand your situation because there is a friend of mine who has a friend and her boyfriend restricts her from doing almost anything. For example he says to her that she shouldn't talk to any male and must have lesser contacts with any girl. He also constantly doubts her that shes a bisexual person when she's not. Once she went to a friends home, he doubted and accused her of having sex with her "female friend" and cheating on him. I don't know but they just broke up now. Despite every attempt by her friend to make her quit this toxic relationship, she wasn't quite willing to quit. She loved him to death but he didn't understand her at all. She was willing to listen to every order of him but he just used her as a puppet. One example is that, whenever he needed money he would ask her to steal from her parents or friends and then give it to him. She would then confess this all to her friend and sob on later. Her friend and I are best buddies. So now this girl is kind of much happier that she's got out of this relationship of 3 years but still feels much sad, understandable. If she's happy now by a bit, I see a greater chance of her getting over it later.

C, I think about you everyday. I think about the one time we met all the time, how amazing it was that you flew all the way here to meet me.
I never wanted you out of my life, but what choice did I really have? It was wrong how we went about things, it wasn't fair.

If I could go back maybe I'd choose you. Maybe we'd actually be happy. I think I'd be a lot happier if I had chosen you.
It's been months since I've actually been able to talk to you, and it's been almost a year since I've seen you.
I knew it when I held you, I wasn't letting go.
But I did and I'm so broken up over it. If I could have just kept quiet for longer, I would have been able to enjoy you longer.

Now you're with some guy, and he's all over you and you're all over him and it tears me up inside.
And in that picture of you two I saw, I saw how happy you were, without me.

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>>18426998
Fuck, I just broke up with my gf, how do I not become this guy/girl

>>18426651
>Coffee isn't all that good but it's not awful
Actualy many studies show that 2-4 cups of coffee a day are beneficial to your brain, improve memory and lower the risk of alot of brain diseases.

I have seen no studies whatsoever that say that coffee is bad for you unless you drink copious amounts

When we had the opportunity to be together, you rejected me. We became so close during a rocky time in my life, and then when I have a boyfriend you confuse me. Maybe it's the alcohol speaking, but you can't just wish I was on vacation with you because you'd think we'd have so much fun. You became one of my closest friends and I even imagined being in a relationship with you.. But now you're just making me so confused. I finally became happy and your drunk mind keeps making me feel like it's really your sober heart.

>>18426911
You're just a regular person and are having delusions. Antipsychotic medicine will make those beliefs go away.

>>18426652
Also an A

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Was at the bday party of a girl I know from college.
When I saw her room, her friends and all, I thought "damn, I'd love to join her life". I envied her.

Actually, I realized that nothing stops me from having a life like that but my own hesitation.

Chase your dreams and someone will chase you to be part of your chase, /adv/.

Last night I was visited by ghosts. There were three or more and two of them female. They opened the door and stood in the hallway. I got up and walked through the door but they had gone by then or that I'd joined them. This morning there is an unusual hum in the air. Time to do something. The dove has successfuly hatched children (squabs apparently) and is tending to them as I type. I have got my canvas back to an even coat of blue after the attempt at a yellow mist turned to mud, sadly I've lost the under painting of the infant which was perfect but it can be drawn again.

>>18425273
Im depressed about not dating guys. Majority of them are far left and as a conservative, i feel like im cursed. I just want a guy to cuddle with but i cant as most fems are far left

Please, give me a chance at happiness. I've never felt before this chemistry with anyone, I just want to be with her so much, I feel so special when she looks at my eyes. I don't want to feel this loneliness anymore, it's soul crushing.

>>18427351
Wouldn't say I'm conservative (in the way I dress) but I have right wing views. Let's cuddle.

I miss my brother's ex girlfriend

>>18425273
I know my anxiety is the root of all my problems, it's the reason im so god damn depressed, the reason i don't have a job, the reason i missed out on the love of my life, the reason i missed out on going to university with all my friends, the reason my parents see me as a useless burden, the reason i am losing long time friends, the reason for just about everything. As much as i want to fight it i can't, i cant find the effort, to got through the emotional pain of confronting it and going to a doctor. When you are constantly thinking that you are going to kill yourself, it's hard to care about anything, but im too anxious to even do that ... FUCK

fucking answer me you stupid cunt you started the conversation, I didn't even ask anything that required a thoughtful response

damn this girl makes me angry like I've never seen myself

Dear me, stay awesome
Yours truely.
Stan

i understand that youre going through a shit time with family dying and losing your job, but we could talk about it instead of you fucking off into the void and ignoring everybody, making me worried you might harm yourself
also i want to go on a date with you already, talk to me and let me make you feel better

Why couldn't you just tell me about the other guys so i could make a clean break from you once and for all? I don't need you or anything from you, damn son you've nothing to give. Every one of our friends said you're a loser manchild, I can do better. I've upped my game, and life is looking good.

I miss you more than ever. I really want to see you even though it will tear me apart. You're in my thoughts 24/7. I have been picking up my phone and typing messages to you I will never send. I cannot muster up the courage to ask you to see you once more. Your warm embrace, soft lips, and mesmerizing beauty were the only few things keeping me going. I am now left with nothing. The loneliness creeps into me every morning and every night. There's no way to drown out the memories. Every thing reminds me of you and what we could have been, what I wanted us so badly to be. Was it my fault? Did I not try hard enough? Why does this keep happening to me? I just want to make someone happy. My life is a cycle of failure after failure. I get nowhere and nothing out of love except heartbreaks that leave me crippled. But no girl ever made me feel this way. My heart died when you said I was not good enough. I want to make you happy, I want to be there for you anytime of day, I want to be whatever you want me to be. Even with this generosity you still refuse to give me a chance. Am I that fucking bad and ugly? Why the fuck do I even bother. Why am I obsessed with you? Why do you have to be so addicting and amazing? I don't just want anyone either, I want YOU. Fuck everyone else, no one makes me feel this way. The damage has been done. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry for not living up to your expectations. I tried. I fucking tried. You were worth it all. I mean nothing to you, but you mean the world to me. I want ONE more chance, and that is too much to ask. I will be waiting for a dream that will never come true. This is the last time I am trying. I give up on love, I cannot do this anymore. I have been nothing but depressed all because no one ever loves me. If this is what I have to go through to be in love I don't want it anymore. You tore me apart enough.

>>18427682
Have you tried contacting her?

>>18427832
Ive been pondering upon the issue of whether to give him another chance or not. Then I remember all the cheating bullshit he did behind my back and how terrible our relationship was in the first place. All of it probably burned in my mind forever now at this point and serving as a reminder of how much I hate him. It's better I move on and solve my issues on my own.

RIP in pieces

>>18427910

Initials?

>>18427917
Jay Eff

>>18427920
Woah, fuck, you've just spoke my initials.
Not the asker by the way, nor am I your ex.

>>18426525
If you knew how much i like this girl you'd understand i cant let her see me while living at my moms with a shit truck working a shit job. Then again she's probably got a ton of richer, better looking, more charismatic cock being catapulted at her daily.

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I was going to post how terrible the future seems for me , but then I remember that I go to this board nearly everyday to do that , what's the point ? Im really that deseperate for attention or something ?

Man , my life is going full circle now

>>18426657
reading it was an odd comfort for the strangest reason. just for an instant your words reminded me of the fact someone else is also experiencing a situation like the one I find myself in. I find it odd because it is a relief, and, I think it strange because I find it so. Also, liked the reminder of proper wording and such, it shows. Perhaps that is your meaning. gl

I keep dreaming about my crush. So it's gotten to this point huh, lol. First time I go through this since high school. Man it feels nice though. But I'm afraid of getting too hopeful and then being crushed by reality. I'm building up all these expectations and I know that's not good.

I fucking miss you and want to work things out. I just want honest open communication because we both fucked up. I want to cover your entire body in kisses. Let me make things up to you my head is in a better space now. Little smartass

As preposterous as it sounds it's what you wanted

>>18428207
Oh, how I wish this letter was for me.

>>18428218

Me too :(

It's very strange to miss so much someone you don't really know. I'm not a rational person when it comes to love, or anything connected with feelings and emotions, but nevertheless it surprises me how strongly I feel about you. Talk about emotional attachment to someone met online.

>>18428218
>>18428221
>>18428229
Maybe it is. Do geese have any significance to any of you?

>be me
>have the sweetest girlfriend who was your best friend before
>become depressed
>have your communication totally fucked
>cry because she makes you feel like shit all the time
>find out that she's borderline
>find two friends
>cry on their shoulders
>realize that you don't love her anymore
>realize that you don't even love yourself even the tiniest bit
>suffer every day of the relationship
>start texting some guy on Facebook
>become friends
>hear about his traumatical past
>find yourself somehow attracted to him
>make a list of pros and cons of a relationship with your gf
>tell her that you want to be just friends
>feel even worse
>and worse
>have your depression deepen
>and finally befriend a guy who won't mind you cause he's 7 years older than you and you're underage
>suffer
>cry
>find yourself lost and depressed
>go back to taking sleeping pills
>want to die
>be sorry

>>18428241

Nope

>>18428241
I don't think I'm involved with anyone who is involved or talks about geese.

Ducks, however, are involved in my life. I don't talk passionately about them, I just witness them as I waltz to work.

>>18428241
what the fuck

>>18428241
they do for me! initials?

>>18428342
Yours first

>>18428396
Nope

god damnit i miss you

Why do you have to fuck everything up? Do you intentionally sabotage and ruin my free time?

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>when u dont know if ull hit 20 bcz depressin over some gf u had in a game whos gone for like 6 or so years and u worry so much
just simply don't know anymore
Why I have such a passion for this I don't really know but I just can't keep up forever it's wearing me the fuck down
I'm glad you showed you cared, I'm sure I was being a total shitter to you and couldn't mind the language barrier but hey you still cared and that's why I'm still here.
now if that's something that will end idk, I hope you're with someone having a good time at least but despite losing your number and you being nowhere I could ever think of I hope I can get in touch with you still, just stay alive for me please fuck

>>18427351
Sounds like you have shit taste in men, my dear. If all you fall for is some pretty, brainless gay-boys, then you'll be disappointed to find out they ONLY come in "left wing" package. Guess why.

>>18428668
Im a guy. But yeah, youre right im fucked. I guess celibacy is the only way :: (

I reached out to my ex and apologized and things worked out a lot better than expected. I'm happy now and have closure and feel a huge weight lifted off of me. I hope you all are doing well /adv/ because I finally am for the first time in a long time

Now I'm all alone and I slept the day away and theres so much I could do but here I am

N., I fucked it up. The month we met at least once every week at my house was the most fun I ever had and truly magical. Just why did I have to tell you that I love you so quickly and why did I have to cling to some bullshit open friendship delusion after you rejected me? I should simply ended it there. No, I just had to say dumb shit to your face and disrespect you as a person. My friends and family don't get that I made mistakes and blame you for something you never did. And now I can't even talk to you and apologize because you either wont want to hear it or I'll hurt you again. I am a coward. I need to remove you from my life or I'll never get out of this cycle of regret and shame. I am so very sorry that I wont be able to make it right but any other way I'll just make it even worse. I am torn between wanting a second chance and just leaving you alone so I wont hurt you again.

You were the one girl I truly loved. I am sorry.

Today I saw you on Tinder. It hurt, a lot even, but I truly hope you find a better man, one way or another. Maybe not there, but somewhere else.

Goodbye. Please forget me.

>>18425293
I make it a point to say welcome home to service members. That's the better thing to say than "thank you for your service," right?

>>18426822
I wish I could too.

I'm not addicted to anything. It's been a bit over one month since I last jerked off or watched porn. I fucking hate everything.

>>18426651
Thank you for the advice, man. I did give up soda some years ago (because it slowly became disgusting to me), though I drink too much coffee. I'd say my average is 3 cups a day, and I use a Keurig machine too, which is bad for the environment. I like your smoothie idea especially.

But the tricky part is my digestion. Even if I eat fibrous foods like oatmeal, my BMs are shitty (heh). Like I have the urge to wipe all the time, as if I have something in my ass, even when there's not. I haven't seen a doctor yet due to insurance, but I really need to get rid of that problem.

I think about him and my heart races. I'm going to be so disappointed if he doesn't like me back. I should relax and not expect anything but oh man.

I hate crying over him because he doesn't care at all. All he cares about is living a delusion and avoiding responsibility.

Have you ever felt like your life would have been better if you were born an only child?

My brother is my best friend in the world, and sometimes I think that because he's there, I have never taken my life seriously enough, which has crippled my instincts to better myself for the world. I hate myself for thinking this.

why do you have to have tattoos all over?

God what is the fucking point

I've finally come to the realization that I'm never going to accept anything less than perfect in my eyes. Not literal 10/10s, I don't care THAT much about looks, but shit man, the chances of finding somebody that is what I love in people are, like most things, virtually impossible, and the only ways I can envisage meeting somebody like that would be by complete accident, no amount of force and effort would have me meet somebody like that.

And that's before they still could reject me.

>>18429016
What are you looking for in a woman?

>>18427730
It's unreal isn't it? They text you out of the blue and act like they're down to talk or meet up and then stop responding after like 2 texts, like if they didn't get wet from your first response they no longer care.

>>18426962
what was?

>>18428207
fucking kek. like the other two I wish this was for me

>>18428241
only in reference to goose stepping and canadian geese I suppose.

>>18429016
IT'S TIME FOR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

welcome to my hell.

>>18429044
the fucked up thing? I'm not even looking for perfect. I'm not perfect so why would I expect that of someone else. I just want a girl on my level.

I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Yikes. At least I got used to the loneliness.

i cant breath, lol im sooooooo nervous...dude i knew what you were in the very beginning

>>18429046
What would a girl on your level be like?

>>18425273
M,

Why do I come to these threads and type out a message for you, knowing full well you'll never hear them? If this was cathartic, I wouldn't still be coming here.

There are days when I miss you. There are days when I really, really miss you. Sometimes I wonder if I should've waited on getting married, and gave you time to find yourself.

I can't believe how much like you I've become. When did I stop being the man you grew apart from? When did I become you?

Did you switch too? Are you happy now, chasing those fleeting moments with friends? God I hope so, I really do. I hope you found your happiness. God knows I lost mine when I lost you.

I really have a craving for chinese or mexican food, but I can't bring myself to go out and get it. I just feel like a loser when I go to a restaurant and eat alone. It just feels so awkward to me to sit down at the table all by myself and eat. Nobody does that. Eating out seems like one of those things you're expected to do with other people, like going to to the movies.

And now I'm sitting here hungry at 9:30pm because I'm so goddamned indecisive I can't even figure out what to fucking eat. I really am a fucking loser.

>>18425273
I don't know what I'm actually going to do now that im out of school

I hate that you're doing this to me right now. You're so obsessed with your computer and being online. I feel sorry for you. You're missing out on life amd letting me slip away so easily. Hooe your downloads were worth it

>>18429151
kek

As a kid, I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just kept going hoping that someday, I'd figure out what I wanted to do. That someday my true passion would come along and I'd have a dream to chase.

It never happened. At some point I grew up and I never figured out what I wanted to be, so I became nothing. I've lost all the momentum I ever had, and I've just been coasting to a stop for 6 years now. How do I keep living my life when there's nothing driving me forwards?

>>18429205
In the end I ate the dinner of failures: Dill pickles straight out of the jar like a fucking animal. I hate myself so much.

I'm so fucking sorry. I know you've probably moved on, I know you're strong and like I said the last time we spoke, I know you can do so much better that the piece of shit I was a few years ago. I've moved on... mostly. I still think about you every day. But it's because I can't forgive myself, you tried to slit your wrists for Christ sake... I was a fucking monster and you genuinely loved me despite my neglect. Honestly I don't know how you could have loved me with how I treated you. You've helped me in a lot of ways. Thinking of you keeps me in check. And the man I'm with now reminds me a lot of you, but no one can really compare to you. You are such a beautiful soul and I hope you found a woman who can show you that she loves you as much as you love her.

I would love to reconnect with you as friends again someday, we both want to be directors and I know we could create something amazing together, but I know that will never happen, not in a thousand years. You're justified to hate ever fiber of my being, but I still admire your creativity, your passion, your kindness. I hope I've helped you grow into an even more badass human being.

I feel bad that I don't go out of my way to get to know my friend's wife. She's nice but I have nothing in common with her, and to be honest I really don't have any interest in being friends with her. My friend has never pushed me to interact with her more either. I've only met her a few times, mostly in passing and then talking to her at a dinner party.

I feel like I should just as kind of a social obligation since my friend is important to me. Idk I think what's holding me back is that she's disapproved of him being his dorky self and playing video games with me and our other friends even though this is pretty much the only way that we all can get together for one night a week and socialize a bit. That attitude just rubs me the wrong way.

>>18429151
People starve to death everyday.

Rather than anxious, you should be grateful.

>>18429151
Go out and get yourself some food. No one gives a fuck if you eat alone. No one will care that you eat alone. Some wont even notice that you are eating alone. Only you.

Whenever I've seen someone eating alone, I've either though, "must be waiting for someone", or "This dude must be busy, so he eats alone.". But this is only if I give a fuck (barely happens). I won't even notice you are eating alone. The thought won't even come into my head. You are just background. I've LITERALLY never though of someone as a loser for eating alone, anyone who does think that is a loser.

Go out, buy yourself some fucking food and eat there alone. For your own god damn sake. Get used to it because it will help you out in the long run. No reason to stay inside scared of nothing actually there. Go get your delicious meal bro.

If I had enough money for a new wardrobe I'd wear women's panties everyday of my life

I really need a friend. Just... someone who talks to me instead of me having to initiate conversation every single time.

And someone from real life. Online friendships make me sad.

What do I have to do to make a friend?

Anyone over the age of 12 who still obsess over Disney movies are fucking weird. Sick of grown ass women "lol i love disney!!!!" you are not cute, you are annoying and probably have daddy issues.

I'm in love with you, Spencer, but I hate that you're a spoiled child.

>>18429395
Some people like sports, some people obsess over video games, and some people like Disney movies. Why are you so concerned about what other people enjoy? Who are you to determine acceptable and unacceptable interests? Who are they hurting?

>>18429151
I run a café (it's more like a small restaurant). Most of my regulars are solo. Nobody cares.

>>18425273
In love with one of my best friends.

This isnt your typical story. Im not a beta, i have a girlfriend, not cheating emotionally or physically, plenty of flings relationships and what not in the past. This one was just never interested so I never focused on her. Shes about on par with my actual gf whom i also love (and am faithful to). Its just a feel.

Anyway she has liver cancer now. Probably gonna die. Fuckin bullshit.

my mental health depends on me ignoring this and getting rid of these thought patterns but god if i don't feel so fucking pathetic and useless all the time
you have no idea how bad i still wanna fuck you
you were my only chance at young love and i pushed you away
i know you still have feelings but obviously you like other guys dick too much
i fucking hate myself for thinking like this you're my friend and i trust and care about you
fuck social anxiety fuck my brain fuck it all

>>18429151
What a feg. I go out and eat alone all the time intentionally. I like showing others I'm not tied down by anyone else.

>>18428685
Not entirely, I'm a hard line conservative. I'm also extremely fem, not just in actions but body and face. I want to be a home maker and raise children. I like to dress in cute outfits since I pass very easily. I don't even have a visible Adam's apple.

Except I'm straight and I like dominate right wing women who will come up behind me after they got home from work and feel me up while pressing against my back as I set the table. So sorry friend

I've just graduated from college today and I feel nothing. No excitement, no anything. Guess I'm dreading what's coming next.

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What is saddest than celebrating your birthday alone?
Still waiting for a warm hug.

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My first gf broke up with me a month ago. I tried to ask her why or if we could talk one more time before we go but she refused. She already found a new guy and she told me that she thought I was crazy and a bad person. She said she didn't love me anymore and that she hated me. And I'm almost inclined to feel the same way because of how angry it made me when she told me those things.

I'm slowly but steadily getting over her. I just don't understand how it came to this. I remember how awfully she treated me at times and thats helping me realize maybe we weren't right for each other. But then I start remembering all the times we laughed and smiled. I remember the first time she came over and how scared and shy she was. I remember the first time we held hands in front of barnes and nobles. I remember all this shit and I just don't know how two people so close can grow to hate each other. It just feels all too unreal to me that just a few months ago she was telling me how happy she was to have me in her life and now she tells me she never wants to see me again. And I'm here regretting that we ever met.

>>18429407
Anyone ott who shoves their interests in your face in general are fucking annoying, sports fans included who are bad for it too.

It's also annoying when people try to be cute about it, such as disney fans

im afraid of death but i struggle to enjoy being alive

i dont know how much longer i can go, and i feel really dissociated from my age. I'm 26 but i still feel mentally like a kid feel like i can't cope with adulthood.

its been this way for so long now, me not really enjoying being alive but just staying alive fighting that fight hoping one day i won't feel like this, like life will be worth it and i will be excited to do things.

its been over 10 years. im afraid of dying so idk if i will ever have the balls to commit suicide, but if i cant just opt out then what do i do? this is torture

Should I call him and tell him happy fathers day even though he isn't the man who raised me anymore and hasn't been around for the past year?

>>18429405
Well too bad I don't love you because you're an ugly roastie. Kys

>>18429628
I know these feels too well anon

All you can do is try and see where you fucked up and what was her just being a bitch. You might find you couldve done a little more or been a little different, but take it as a learning experience and not a trip to guilt town. As long as you really tried to be a good partner, you can't blame yourself for it failing. It clearly wasn't meant to be. And if you find you really did try your hardest to make it work, then always remind yourself that you didn't and don't deserve to be treated that way. Her turning into a total cunt is not your fault. Odds are you deserve someone better anyway

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I think I'm Bi but I also think I'm not. That is the only thing that piss me off but not really.

>>18429738
Only one way to know for sure anon. . .

I haven't even taken a single step outside my house for 11 months, all I do since I got out of the hospital is sleep, eat, walk on my threadmill and browse 4chan for 18 hours a day on my bed without even questioning myself why, just now I come to realize I isolated myself from all my friends/family and pushed them away completely.

Weeks are starting to go by like hours and without even noticing it's my birthday again, passing it alone on my room waiting for a call or even a single message from my family atleast.

As stupid as this sounds because I know it won't happen, and you do too, I would still spend the rest of my life with you. We could fight every day until the end of time and I wouldn't care. None of your flaws turn me off, you'd think they would but none of it, not the cheating the lying the fake ego the real narcissism the pathological neckbeardedness, literally none of it. I would put up with all of it just to be with you. I want to grow old together why are you such a faggot about this.

>>18429751
The funny thing is I could send you this in a text right now and I can with almost 100% accuracy predict that your response would be "Kek" and nothing else.

You're a fucking faggot I love you

At some point in the past few years I believe I have developed Schizoid Personality Disorder. As in I feel no need for socializing and never feel lonely. It's self diagnosed, so it's probably not legit SPD, but I don't even give a shit about talking to or hanging out with the only person left who could be considered my friend. I never initiate any social contact of any kind. I love being alone. I hate being bothered. I've become conditioned to hate the sound of my phone vibrating. The only reason I bother living is because my mother would be devastated by my suicide. I feel like it is inevitable though. Just a question of how and when. Where I live the only viable option seems to be jumping off a cliff. Just felt the need to get that off my chest for some reason. Even if it's by posting on a board full of self loathing narcissists.

I don't know how to feel better about an intense situation I was in.
A friend of mine turned out to be a sociopath who was using me to abuse and control another friend of his. I found out about it and tried to do the right thing, and eventually worked it out, so she's away from him.

But the level of destruction was more severe than I could handle, and I was blamed for a lot of what happened. She did so many mental gymnastics and I flipped out on her. After everything we went through, we were abusive to each other.

I feel so much guilt and remorse and anger at how things ended. It drove me into depression and I missed out on so many life opportunities and my academics suffered.

I don't know. I did a lot of good and made sacrifices for someone I cared about. I pulled off something incredible, and did the right thing, but I don't feel good about any of it.

I fucked around too much in the past and am now dealing with it. My advice to you: don't get fat and don't act depressed when you're around other people. Even if it feels like the right thing to be doing, physically showing you're depressed is a HUGE turnoff. It'll make people not like you as a person.

>>18429793
yeah I know one guy that is all smiles but I can see through it completely cause I'm in the same boat only I give less fucks about who knows it.

cool so she's a lesbian

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Anyone still here?
I dont really wanna spill my guts to an empty forum..
Aloha

last night
>go to party
>new to this scene
>guy ive idolized since high school, QB, is there and immediately takes notice of me
back story: i was the year below him and he was extremely popular, athletic, star quarterback
>he makes me feel at home and welcome, side hugs, etc
>having a good time
>an hour later QB comes out of nowhere and talks to me
>he asks me if i like him
>he has a girlfriend (if i'm not mistaken) so i bring her up
>he scoffs, says they're all leaving here soon anyway and it doesnt matter
>he asks if i have any friends that like him and if he can get me to hook him up with them
>i say no
>he says fuck it forget about it
we were both really drunk and i'm thinking it was the alcohol talking. on his end
>an hour later in his downstairs loft
>him and some of his friends come talk to me
>QB tells me "hey, go outside with my friend"
>this random ass dude standing by the door to the backyard, at this point i expect to get felt up or raped
>ask QB "what? why?"
>he puts on arm around me and commands me
>"Go outside."
>i listen like a little bitch and go outside
>once QB leaves i tell the guy i don't know who you are, i'm going back inside
sorry if this sounds juvenile. i had really strong feelings for QB
extremely upset over this dont really know what to do, who to talk to

sorry you got strep, hope you're not reading this.

I really low key dont know whats going on. There's physical vibes. Maybe its the fact that im tripping on acid but im low key feeling this dude. And hes low key feeling me back. Idk what to do but i guess im going with it.

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>>18429822
trust your instinct.
Forget anyone that trys to give you any form of a command.
I know emotions/hormones can affect someone alot, but dont allow it to make you do shit you know inside you shouldn't.
If thats the type of people that go to those parties, dont go, at all.
Im assuming youre in highschool?
There is WAY PLENTY of time to party later, in college, your 20's.
Dont make silly mistakes to impress someone that probably wont remember your name 6 months from now.

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>>18429838
Remember, the snowplow never follows the sunshine.

>>18429849
Snow plow?

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>>18429854
NEVER follows the sunshine.

>>18429858
Im assuming you're trying to fuck with me.

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>>18429863
Too bad, thought you were "there".
Too bad, So sad.

Where are all the genuine men? Even when I open up they won't open up to me. If they just want to be polite and do the social dance why talk at all? Geez. I'll just talk to women and queers only then.

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>>18429871
Why generalize?
Maybe that's part of the problem, the assumptions you make?

>>18429870
You just completely wasted my time. Good job troll.

Update on this. Threw the dude a direct come on. He threw it back. Shame hes across town. But were both tripping and some low key semi built up tension came out

I really hate you for always trying to play the pitiful little victim back when we were in grade school and beyond. You'd bitch and moan about how you got picked on, and then you'd bitch and moan at me for doing something about it. You spent your whole life afraid to get aggressive about anything and stabbing people in the back to save your own ass left and right. You ruined peoples lives, and you keep yourself in a safe little echo chamber where you think you'll never get hurt or abuse again. But you're a victim, and you never learned not to be. One day it's all going to come crashing down around you and you'll die alone just like your asshole father will. Fuck you.

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>>18429877
Sad.
Sad.
Sad.

What hurts more than you not wanting me is the thought that someday, someone will make you feel what you made me feel.

>>18429871
getting fucked up by disingenuous women.

jordan peterson don't fail me now. either everything is important or nothing is important and it's seeming like anything and everything I do is unimportant. I'm this close to nihilistic hedonism. it doesn't matter, so why sacrifice all the pleasure in my life for pain. if there is no hope and nothing to work for, why bother? like there's no reward for anything I've ever done. it's all fucking shit and the only reason I haven't offed myself is this stupid idea that "well things can't always be shit" but they can and they are and there isnt' a single part of my life that I can think of that hasn't been garbage and me forcing my way through it only to find more garbage.

I need to scream but am incapable of the volume levels and force that would satisfy this feeling.

>>18429874
Yeah maybe. But I really think men are conditioned to have black-and-white feelings. To entertain others, to achieve, to show off abilities, but not to connect. Straight males who are willing to be vulnerable are so fucking rare why even test your chances.

>>18429886
it doesn't matter bro. she doesn't fucking care and no one is going to make her feel that way. everything is perfect in their lives.

>>18429883
Well fuck... Who hurt you?

I swear to fucking... i don't even know. women, TALK TO THE FUCKING GUY YOU LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE. save everyone some trouble.

You're still dead to me.

>>18429901
This totally just answered my posts

>>18429892
Old best friend. Tip of the day: Never trust someone who idealizes violence without actually doing it themselves. They'll fuck you over just so they can feel like hot shit.

>>18429923
This is true.

Should i fuck a younger dude. 22 hes 17. Reallllly feeling it

>>18429933
That's a risky fuck. I personally wouldn't do it, but it happens all the time.

I'm in one of those moments where I start to realize how all my accomplishments have given nothing, and that nothing will ever enter my life.

Always the same familiar mundane shit.

>>18429712
if you still like him as a person do it yo

>>18429849
no>>18429883
Initials? Please..

She was the love of my life, but i wasnt hers. All i wanted was for you to spend more time with me than other guys and show more affection towards me than what you did. I know at the end i conplained too much, but i had these pent up feelings for a year and a half i had to let them out. Clearly you couldnt accept them and change for me. I miss you and will always love you. Ill be fine or ill always say i am even when im not, and i hope you find the happiness you brought me.

I want to be married. Please don't marry anyone else, I'll be heartbroken.

I don't care if you cheat, I guess. Perhaps I've been inundated by so much cuckold porn and r9k woman redpills, it seems like an inevitability. It's alright, I've prepared for it mentally.

I can't figure it out. just as I was going to break up with you, you've done a complete 180. You butter me up with these words, try to make it seem like you love me, see me as something beyond a regular and reliable way to get sexual release... but I'm sorry. You should have done this earlier. A year ago.
I've waited so fucking long for you to change, yes, congratulations, you did it, but I've grown to resent you now for all the grief you caused me in months and years passed.
Look. I can't do this anymore. I think you know that too. Find someone and start afresh.

She was the only one that has ever made me feel loved. I feel for her 9 years ago, she told me she didnt like me like that. So i disappeared from her life for a while, when i came back i barely spoke to her. 3 years ago we start hanging out and eventually led to us dating my feelings for you only developed deeper while yours seem to only stay the same. A year and a half into our relationship you became cold towards me started hanging out with other guys. Refused to have any alone time with me. Yet you occasionally showed me the love you did so long ago so i never gave up hope. Once i started asking you to stop being so cold towards me and to spend time alone with me you pushed me out of your life. Am i really that undesireable that no one can show honest care about me? You were all i had now theres nothing and you had the audacity to say to me i think we should stop now so we can be friends in the future knowing good and well what you meant to me. I hate you so much. Yet i love you even more than i hate you. Im so confused and lost with out you, but i know i cant just give up because you're gone.

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Knowing that you're somewhere in the world right now, at the same time as me, and haven't thought about me in years. I think about you every day. Everyone I'm ever with will just feel like a replacement. There was a very distinct feeling of joy that I had when I was with you, and knowing that I'll never feel it again makes me want to shoot myself.

Oh well.

i miss you, bug

>>18429889
>Straight males who are willing to be vulnerable are so fucking rare why even test your chances.
Those guys are all 40-year-old virgins by now. Fuck off, dumb cunt. This was the society that you bitches wanted, now live in it.

I loved you so fucking much. But youre a bitch. You fucking preach to me about how I'm trying to manipulate people into giving me sympathy? After you fucking told me to trust you and to tell you all that I've been through? I'M the bad person now. Apparantly I'm the one thats been building this relationship on a lie. You go to my fucking previous girls and ask them about me of course theyre gonna give you a story that makes me look like a bad guy, and I'll admit that not everything I did was good or noble or the right thing to do BUT I FUCKING TRIED MY BEST. Theres two fucking sides of a coin. Stop pretending like I don't have fucking feelings too. Like I cant get fucking hurt. Because apparantly to you everything Ive said and everything ive felt was just all part of my my "master plan" right? To manipulate everyone to being on my side? Fuck you. I'm glad you dropped my ass. I wouldnt want to be with a bitch that treats me like shit and makes assumptions that arent true about myself.
You're right Kristin you don't know me. You don't know a fucking thing about me.

It's been nearly two years, but I'm still conflicted internally about dating you. I knew you before you had him, so I'm not sure if I'm clinging on to who you used to be. It's hard to believe that, though. Why would I have stuck around otherwise? But, I just don't know. Before, I never would've thought of dating a single mom. I just love you so much. I have since I met you and before you had him. Had I told you back then how I felt, things would've been a lot different. The sad thing is that I know what's inevitable.

One night every two weeks or so, I get the urge to go gay. I'll switch on guys on my tinder and proceed to swipe left on almost all of them. Even when I'm full on craving dick I just can't find myself attracted to guys. Then I masturbate to gay porn, fantasize about sucking dick and taking it up the ass, cum buckets, and immediately lose all interest in it. All other times I'm completely straight. I won't think about it. I won't feel turned on at the thought. I'll go flaccid watching the porn. Nothing.

It's very frustrating.

>>18429746
So how do you do anything, how do you get food, how do you earn money, get a haircut etc. ?

>>18425400
>At whom I ask

>>18430119
Online groceries delivered to my house by the same dude, disability check and I own a clipper my dad gave me years ago. I got too comfortable and need motivation to start doing something else really, but I'm still struggling to even go out without feeling anxiety for no fucking reason.

How do you move on from losing the person who meant the most to you?

I dated this girl for a few months this time last year, and she ended it because she didn't have the time to commit to anything.

I now realise how much I miss her, because she made me feel something I honestly have never felt before, and I'm too afraid to message her telling her this because I don't want to come across as if I'm grovelling, and because I'm afraid of rejection.

Can't handle people who just bad mouths you whenever things don't go their way.
They say things that you thought you've resolved with them in the past, things that aren't related to the original topic, makes bad accusations, and act like a victim.

It's just so tiring. One of them is my mother. Not hoping to make things work with her but I at least don't want to go full deaf on her and ignore everything she says. I interact with people acting like this at least once a week and nothing gets through to them that I just go "haah I don't even care anymore"/

Fenisia - Fenesia

I am jealous. I swallowed jealousy when I found that hair tie on your table and the earring in your bedroom. I even joked about it being your hair tie. The next week it was still on the table, why didn't you at least move it out of my sight?

>>18429871
>Where are all the genuine men?

A lonely little island in there mind.

> Even when I open up they won't open up to me.
Why should they?
As someone who's lived as a man his entire life, obviously, I've learned that it's always best to keep your cards close to your chest.
However, some, rarely, can get me to open up.

It might be worth wondering why a guy would be sceptical about you.

>If they just want to be polite and do the social dance why talk at all?
If you don't talk you become the "weird quiet guy". The social dance is a ritual of invisibility.

> I'll just talk to women and queers only then.
Do that then, but I've found women to be like lawyers and that everything you say can and will be used against you.

How do I get rid of an abusive guy I used to be with? I was 15 and he was 19 when we started online dating because I was lonely. He manipulated me and would freak out randomly on me about nothing and he made me feel like shit. I had horrible depression so I can't remember some things that he did. When I first showed him my face he was disappointed and told me so and took the picture I sent and photoshopped me to look "better"(asian). I do regret that I sent nudes and said nasty things with him and I was just so depressed I didn't care what was happening and didn't realize he was taking advantage of me. He would tell me I'm ugly and worthless and that he would kill himself if I didn't send pics which made me scared I almost went to a mental hospital because of panic attacks. Flash forward 2 years I have a new online bf who is amazing and treats me perfect and we meet and everything is amazing. I add abusive guy because idk why but it was a bad decision. He constantly makes sexual jokes about me and relies on me to message him all the time and spans my phone. He always tells me that if me and my bf don't work out I can move there. He's needy with me and if I'm in a call with friends and he's there and I mute my Mic for a second I get 10+ messages saying WHAT HAPPENED WHERE DID YOU GO WHY DID YOU MUTE. Recently he messaged me something sexual again when I told him stop it makes me uncomfortable I have a boyfriend and he just says yeah I'm a bad person you hate me i don't blame you nobody likes me!! He had an old gf and still has her nudes and plans on using them against her so I stay in contact with him so he doesn't do the same to me. He said he deleted all of mine but I'm terrified. I don't know how to get rid of him. I'm laying here crying because my bf is ignoring me and I feel like it could be because abusive guy said something to him because I got mad at abusive guy and ignored him.

>>18430402
1. if you don't have it, get his whole real life name/contact info
2. get a lawyer to tell him that he's not allowed to use your pics
3. never talk to him again

So last night I went to a gathering at my friends place, he had a couple of his friends round who I've met before and some that I havent, anyway were drinking vodka and smoking blunts and I started to have mad out of body experiences, I started thinking that life was weird as fuck. I also get this thing where even when I'm sober I'll stop and think about what I'm doing and where I am and why am I me, it's weird asf, anyone else experienced this? Is this depersonalisation disorder? Can I get rid of this if I stop smoking weed and keep the drinking occasional on weekends?

>>18429436
that's fucked up

>>18425273
I want to end my relationship, but can't cause I'm too much of a pussy

I've been redpilled and now everyone dislikes me. Feels bad. ;____________;

>>18430521
If you are referring to the red pill in the PUA sense then you aren't applying what you have learned properly. If you actually start to focus on improving your self-worth as a man by focusing on your self in multiple ways (physically, mentally, spiritually, etc...) and building a strong sense of self-respect and frame, people will respect you more. This isn't the same as going around in public and telling everyone how women are hypergamous sluts and those who disagree are blue-pilled beta cucks.

I don't get it. Why do you care about me? I'm worth nothing and I know there's people out there you would like more than me. I literally do nothing but send you doggo pics and console you when needed, we rarely have any real conversations.

But despite all of this, you still care. And now I can't stop thinking about you. Fuck is this what love feels like? I can't tell.

Someone, help me.

I hate how the only time I ever felt love was towards other people, but people never love me back. I have grown to resent people. I don't want relationships and I don't want friends anymore. People are up to no good. I have suffered rejection after rejection. I give up. Please, god if you exist, send no one else my way. Leave me the fuck alone.

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I'm a huge romanticist. Not really in the "honeymoon phase" in the sense of romanticist, but I want to find a girl where I can put my all into our relationship. We help each other improve ourselves. I want to build a connection with somebody into something really meaningful and special.

This may sound weird, but I want someone who I can call my "ball and chain". As in, no matter what I experience or what I long for, how normal or boring she is, or how normal looking she is, the thought of her and our relationship keeps me grounded and happy.

>>18430547
can i be that girl please

>>18430532
Actually, I'm a woman. I do actually think women are sluts. Me included. They're all attention whores who crave instant gratification through undeserved praise. Even small things like taking a selfie or food pictures have the intent of, "wowwie look how cute I am." All my girlfriends are unable to enjoy the present moment. They all live for other people. They label themselves and live through their social media. They have to publicize every fucking thing. But besides seeing women for what they really are, I meant redpilled as having opinions based of consistent statistics not just feeling. Of course, it doesn't sound "nice" when you say that black people are responsible for the majority of crimes, but it's tru--I think I'll stray away from saying anymore since I'll probably be called a racist bigot.

You are such a hypocrite and liar holy fucking shit. Do you even realize it?

>>18430440
Bump

I may kill myself on my 21st birthday.

>>18425273
What would you guys do if you have a friend and gave them multiple chances. I'm at my ends rope. We've been friends since elementary, but he's gotten worse. He talks shit behind my back and friends back. Is jealous if I hang out with other people and is overall a toxic person and more but I don't want to make it a blog. I tried staying friends, but I can't anymore.

>>18430578
I had that kind of friend. I was putting up with that toxic behaviour for about a year and then we got in a big fight, we didn't speak since. Gotta say I'm much happier now that her bullshit is not affecting me.

>>18430570
Why not wait til you are 27? You'd have the same age as all those famous people that died at 27. Besides 21 is very young, I recommend you use up all your options and make a life balance at 27 where you look back and decide whether it's time to end it all or not, forever.
That's what I'm gonna do anyway, I'm 24.

>>18430588
A fight is reason why I'm posting this hah. He got mad because I was playing a video game with a friend and I didn't invite him. Sounds silly, but he exploded at me and my friend for that.

>>18430592
Because I'll be the 21 year old with no friends to go to a bar with for the first time, the 21 year old virgin, the 21 year old that still lives with his mom with no job that dropped out of community college.

>>18430015
Why didn't you say a year ago that you wanted me?

My girl left me because she thought I was using her for sex
I really honest to God wasn't
She did it so out of the blue with no warning
Everyone said she was crazy for doing it and that she was acting insane
Now we have no contact
Now she has some new guy and it hasn't even been that long
I miss the old you
The girl I fell in love with
Please stop changing I love you the way you were and I wouldn't change a thing so why are you doing this

I'm just lost
Everyone says to just move on with my life
And I am but I want the girl I fell in love with back

It's not the fact that you're bisexual and want to date me and other girls that bothers me, it's just how you've been going about all of this in the past few weeks. You admitted that you've been cold and distant but telling the truth made you worried you would hurt me. You like her more and it's totally fine, I'll just step out of the way and let you pursue that more. I'm not really hurt, just confused and concerned really.

Are you really bisexual though? Or is it just the excuse for you to want to keep this casual with no commitments regardless of the gender. I find other guy clothes and used condoms in your apartment but I don't bring that shit up. I don't hate you though. I try to look past that stuff.

I'm not a fun guy to be around though and I understand, most social situations kinda make me nervous but I try my best to cope and get out there. We had fun dancing but I could tell you were having way more fun with your best friend than me. But I get it. I'm a quiet stoner type that likes to stay in, burn a few, have some drinks and enjoy music with or without people and you're this outgoing bubbly type that is the life of the party and needs to be wild. I guess I just can't handle that kind of stuff. I've been intimate with maybe 2 other people prior and you're unlike anything I've came across. It's probably why I like being around you, having a challenge somewhat.

I just really want someone who cares about me as much as I care about you. It's just hard for me to buy that '"I love you and care about you" stuff when I know the real truth.

>>18430539
Hey, initials?

I'm visiting my family and my brother looks like a hobo.

So you are gonna get a cat together? That's sweet.
Do you remember when you tried to hunt my cat with a kitchen knife? I know you were just teasing me, but it was still a pretty abstract thing to do, you know.
It seems like such a big thing, getting a pet together. I guess it really shows how serious it is between you.
You probably really hardly remember me by now.

>>18430570
I'm planning when I'm 25. I'm 21 right now. I'm literally just waiting so I can finish college, save up some money and visit Iceland, where I will kill myself. I just want to see the beautiful scenery in person.

>>18430709
why

Regardless of what you've might have said to others after we broke up, I understand you were emotionally distressed and hurt, I was and I still am too. I know neither of us are to blame for us not working out.

I never blamed you for what had happened, and I'm finally learning to forgive myself. I hope and I trust that you still care about me, and I hope you still believe that this was a mutual decision that needed to happen for both of our sake, and that I still care about you regardless of it all.

Lol. What a fucking narcissistic piece of shit. You love to hear yourself talk, don't you, Bud?

>>18430762
It was never a mutual decision. Don't just say it like that to make you feel better.

yesterday i made my bf cum from a hj the frist time ever in his life. took me two years. yes, i'm proud, kek.

>>18428211
Why would I have signed off on this?

Whenever I see you active online I feel tempted to message you

Finally managed to land a job that is not borderline illegal human exploitation. Yay!

>>18430792
I'm really bad at accepting that I did it for selfish reasons, whether I was right or wrong I had to help myself at some point.

She understood that I couldn't do it anymore, and I think she knew, under the circumstances of the relationship, it just couldn't keep going as it was, we both saw the writing on the walls.

I never left for the wrong reasons. I knew if I had stayed I would have suffered immensely as opposed to us ending it. I just hope she understands that too.

Sometimes I wish I never met you, David. Or kept myself from getting so close to you. Now I'm in too deep in this stupid fucking nightmare where we care about each other deeply as friends but then there's romantic feeling there but we can't do shit about it. I don't want to be hurt again. Fuck this.

>>18429103
Reasonably attractive, pretty damn smart, loyal to a fault, falls quickly and deeply, affectionate, high sex drive, driven, strong ethics, wants a family, outdoorsy. Passionate about some purpose she's given herself and should be a good homemaker.


Not all are required but that would be about on my level.

>>18430547
This so much. I need that grounding force so bad

>>18430823

Cool! What's the job?

>>18430769
I'd love to hear other people talk but that would require other people actually talking. So I'll talk until someone else joins in and then we can have a conversation.

Oh man, did I get fucking played or what?

"I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything" basically says you did lead me on these past 3 months.

You don't fucking love me so don't ever say that shit ever ever again.

>>18430892
Journalist in a local technology magazine. After a year of working as a copywriter for a scammy company and trying to get as much work on the side I will finally get to work under my name again.

This will be a ton of hard work, but holy shit, I'm already working most evenings and weekends. I don't mind as long as I'm treated like a human being - my current boss has amazing motivational methods such as denying employees access to toilet paper and coffee if he thinks we're not productive enough.

>>18430921
>denying employees access to toilet paper
What the fuck?!

>>18430957
One of our managers fumbled a project and all the blame got shifted onto us office workers (the manager is sleeping with the boss, so she suffered no consequences). Since then he forbade us from making any necessary purchases from work funds. We have to chip in for coffee, tea, milk, toilet paper, towels etc., not to mention office supplies.

I'm so glad I stopped talking to my ex. I'm lonelier than before (he was my only friend) but man I'm relaxed! So done with all the guilt tripping.

He always just conveniently forgot he was my cheating ex. "Why do you feel bad? I haven't done anything wrong". "It's so unfair that you don't want to date me". Ohhh life is just so unfaair, right! Explain to me how it's unfair that you cheated on me and now I don't want to date you anymore. It seems 100% fair to me. "Oh, but some guy is going to get to date you now that you're more mature!!" You could've kept dating me if you hadn't cheated, genius.

But you know. It was a blessing in disguise. Thanks to his cheating I realized just what a bad boyfriend he was. He made me feel bad about the things I liked. He never did anything for me without me asking. He always blamed me for everything. Arguing with him was a giant, pointless circular discussion that only ended when I gave up. The guy I currently like is great at logic (we're both TAs in a theory of computation class), so, if I get to date him, I'm looking forward to reducing discussion time.

Even if I don't get to date him, I'm happier alone than with my ex. To think he was making me doubt myself and consider dating him, lol. Not in a hundred years.

>>18430897
and it just dawned on me that she made out with her ex at the party she invited me too. it was a girl but the principle still remains.

why the fuck didn't I just leave? jesus Christ.

I'm selfish and I wish you would pay more attention to me and finally actually mention that we're dating so I won't feel so insecure around the pack of girls that swarm you because you're attractive and I'm not and I feel very underdeserving of you. Blech.

>>18430809
Just do it, start with something simple and easy. Just a hey.

How many fucking boyfriends do you have girl? Not interested, hard pass. Gold digging and bad tempered too. Not worth this magnum dick.

I really need to get a gf. I'm so tired of jacking off

>>18431104
omg, same.
No, but forreal, I need to get laid and feel the real life cuddles of an ample-bodied woman.

I feel like shit without this form of love.

I don't get it. What are you trying to tell me about this "orange" thing? That there is someone trying to kill me? That it's likely there will be an attack at some point?

Every time I have traveled the National Security level is raised to orange. I always thought that was weird but didn't think much more of it.

It doesn't make me nervous or anything... it's just weird. I really really don't care if I die. Honestly, I want to so...

i wanna eat my gf's ass but idk how she'd react to hearing that

>be me in the bus
>be next level introvert
>girl enters the bus
>shes definitely a loner
>really want to talk to her
>shithowdoidothis.jpeg
>stare out the window awkwardly
>bus stops she leaves
>right before she steps outside she turns around
>looks me dead in the eye, smiles
fuck why am i so awkward

you know I don't want to play the game. So you keep trying to force me to play. I have to actively push it out of my mind. You also want me to meditate.

You're forcing me to learn how to meditate. Thing is, I think about a hundred fucking things at once. Pushing just one of those things out still leaves the other 99.

Basically, I'll never meditate. I'll never play the game.

Also, I get it. Antenna. Bugged. How about you fuckers talk to one another and tell them to leave me alone. I know it's in my headphones headphones tower. I dropped it awhile ago it it broke (Fucking double typing right now) inside causing it to rattle. It stopped rattling recently... so you had to have come in and either fixed it or removed the bug.

Basically, stop trying to give m hints about shit. Don't put any more insects in my room please. The one you put in here with the large antenna was particularly hard to squish.

I pass the days in much the same way, doing the same things, and listening to the same music. I am depressed, yet my lifestyle does little to aid it. Instead of exercising my willpower, I sit around weakly on the idea that someday it will improve. There's a weakness central to me to the extent that I will not be fully satisfied even if my illness does vanish.

I want to be certain that I am living the right way. How can I be intelligent when I know the right path and choose not to follow it? When I refrain from taking action because it does not suit my fleeting interest? I could come up with a set of laws, a mantra or something, that picks me up when I'm weak and redirects me to the right action. But I haven't. It's been over a year and I haven't.

I need to take a long walk, think about this and other things. Proscribe what I must do. Compartmentalize life until I get it a little bit more.

>>18431258
do you like the taste of shit

I'm really sorry. I took you for granted, my love and best friend. I'd love to have a chance to make up for my behaviour. I miss you a lot.

>>18431648
I really wish this was for me but I feel like the person I'm thinking of never actually wants to see me again.

>>18431806

I feel you. I'm sure the person this was directed to don't want to see me again either.

>>18431836
I mean, it's far fetched, but stranger things have happened... initials?

>>18431842

Yours first

>>18431851
BH

>>18431648
Kek. Go fuck yourself. For a wannabefuckboi you have no balls

>>18431880

What?

I feel like I can never do anything right and that I always wind up unintentionally breaking and destroying everything I touch. I fucking hate myself.

This is absolutely mind fucking. How are you people doing this? How could you possibly...

These songs have been sitting in my itunes for a decade or more and they are specifically to me. "I send you a secret message, in this way." as in... through songs.

The part about "I'm just a mirror baby, reflecting back at you." is something I told her.

Rasputin, a.

What the fuck.

What.
the.
fuck.

God I want to know what's going on so badly.

>>18432005
The worst part? Even in the song, she says "I would tell you but I'm not at liberty to say."

-_-