Should I just let my kid make her own mistakes?

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>>18423654

He's weird but worse than that he's incredibly creepy. He's obsessed with the game the witcher and his every interaction feels like a bad forced larp. He dresses like he's wearing a pseudo costume too.

I'm 90% sure the name he gave us is fake (just look at that bullshit) and he has a very vacant unwavering stare. At first I thought he might just be a retard on the spectrum but lately I find myself becoming paranoid that he's unstable and might have some kind of record.

I don't know how he met my niece or what she sees in him but he makes my entire family uncomfortable whenever they stop by. He hardly talks, will not address you until you address him first and When he DOES speak it's very unpleasant.

He's very rude (told my wife her cooking was like cafeteria food) and just says strange things. He told us once his job was "a listener" whatever the hell that means and he's extremely sensitive but indirect.

For example I made a joke about Hilary Clinton once and my niece informed me the next day that "he was very upset."

My niece confided in my daughter that this guy is Polyamorous and has been pressuring her to do weird sexual shit that she is very uncomfortable with. I seriously wish I didn't know that but it just adds to the weird factor. Lately the kid has seemed depressed. She's gaining weight and spending less and less time with her family and friends and now she's talking about moving in with this guy and I feel like I need to step in.

Recently his ex reached out to my daughter-seeing her tagged in my nieces photo on FB. She warned her that he was trouble but my daughter refuses to give me any details. Just that "it's pretty bad."

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>>18423658


I've tried digging around but I can't find much on him online besides an embarrassing old deviant art page. I can't shake that he has some kind of record.

So here I am.

On one hand I'm torn, she's an adult who can make her own decisions and who am I to tell her how to live her life?

On the other I know this is going to end badly and I don't want to see her throw her life away by getting knocked up by a psycho.

I feel like if I go about this wrong she'll resent me either way but it could drive her closer to him if I fuck up.

I'm not sure how to proceed.

If you want to give her a heads up on what you think, then fine.

If the guy is a loser with nowhere to go to or is poor af, then she'll leave on her own.

Just know that we young ones are dense. Sometimes we have to make our own mistakes to learn life...

>be me
>20

First make it clear to your niece you are not forcing her to act. Then go on and explain what you think of guy and why he is a bad match, and then leave it to her.

>>18423654
You can try to speak to her again about how this guy makes you uncomfortable. Ask what she sees in him and if she really likes him. If she still insists on seeing him, then just let her make mistakes and learn the hard way. Besides, if you forbid her from seeing him, she'll just get angry at you and might just make even more mistakes. If she spirals down or doesn't learn from this one and does it over and over again, then step in.

I keep finding myself thinking of my little brother just shaking his head and saying "you promised to look out for her."

Watching hid kid go from an adventurous fit girl full of energy just diminish day by day into a sediment depressed young woman with nothing to say. It sucks. I know it's not all her shitty boyfriend but I think it's obviously contributing. When she broke up with the first one it devastated her and made her ripe for the picking for losers

This is a tough one. Usually the more you try to intervene, the more distant she'll become and the more cutoff from you she will be. I don't know why people are attracted to these types. Either she will eventually come to her senses or get sucked in and the situation will end very badly. Since she is a legal adult, other than getting a bunch of adult males, putting him in the trunk of a car, driving him several hundred miles away, dumping him, and telling him if he shows up again, you'll bury him instead of dumping him, I don't know what to do.

>>18423654
Do not come on overbearing or threatening, because all that shit will do is force her to cling to him harder.

Just say, I love you, I'm worried about you, I heard some shit from your mom/aunt, that you're not feeling comfortable with where you are, and if you ever want to talk, I always have your back and am here for you, no matter how awkward it is, because I'm on your side.

I just want to say, don't ever do shit that you don't want to do, even if that's speaking to me. That's your right as the girl I've raised all these years.

Or something like that.
positive reinforcement and backroutes.

Ultimately, she's gotta see this shit for herself, all you can do is hope to lay down some subtle clues and context to how life should normally be like, and hope she sees that for herself .

>>18423692
But you can't live her life for her. Talk to her, voice your concerns and make sure she understands why you're concerned. If she doesn't listen, your job is to be there when she falls, to support her when she's hurt.

The guy looks like a douche.

>>18423700
Disclaimer:

I'm a 28 year old dude with no children.

But I feel like I have a little sister who is in her early 20s that's always fucking getting in trouble because of boys, and it's just so fucking frustrating and heartbreaking when YOU KNOW that it's their own bad decisions that are leading them to these boys, but also know you CANNOT directly bring it up because they'll rghost on you like a scared rabbit if you do.

So maybe my way doesn't work and maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but it's what I feel like helps.

Holy shit that guy looks like a faggot. Is that eyeliner in one of the pics? Your niece needs to get a better taste in men fuck, seems like she's still in the high-school RAWR phase.

>>18423700
This is very well put. Thank you

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>>18423715
It looks like it. He has a snake Plisskin mullet also

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>>18423727
He's chunky but he hides it well online

>>18423654
delete this post you are posing an unnecessary risk to your daughter by posting this much personal information. Do you really want creeps on 4chan to find her and show her what you poster or even worse sexually harass her? delete!