How do you obtain physical contact and affection without having

>>18423388
>physical contact and affection
what do you mean exactly?

>>18423394
Hugs, kisses, sleeping together and virtually all kinds of touch that don't involve anyone's genitals being touched.

>>18423400
You find a person who's into that also

>>18423438
You'll need to elaborate on that.

How?

Find another asexual and build a relationship with then i guess. But I doubt a lot of asexuals would share a bed with someone. Youre probably going to have to look on the internet for people who are into this.

>>18423455
I have, but I don't want to be some middle-aged polyamorists' third wheel.

>>18423438
This. I've been wanting to try something like it, all you really have to do is stipulate it to others however possible, in your search.

Needless to say, it's going to be tougher to find, but it's nothing unheard of.

Isn't there any way to learn to tolerate sex? It just feels like such a stupid weakness to have.

>>18423400
Sounds like you want a medium-large sized dog. They're pretty ideal for those requirements.

>>18423572
I've had dogs. It's not the same.

Pretty much what other anons have said. Find another person that dislikes sex, just like you, and you'll be set. Granted, that's against the norm, and pretty specific, so it will be hard to find someone. But it will be worth it

Otherwise you'll need to learn how to handle having sex. If your partner is not in the position you are into now, they'll want to have sex, since it's a natural urge, and if they can't get it from you, they'll eventually look somewhere else

>>18423622
How do I learn to handle having sex? Lube, alcohol and muscle relaxants probably help making it painless but how do you make it less unpleasant?

>>18423388
pretend you're queer, that way you'll get away with all sorts of cuddly shit with girls who won't you as a potential threat to their eggs.

>>18423622
You could always look for someone that's been castrated, either intentionally or accidentally. That could help.

>>18423442
just like you meet people normally. Talk to them.

Normal couples have to also talk about what they want from the relationship at some point. You just have to make clear you aren\t in it for the sex

>>18423642
Specify on how it's unpleasant
Maybe you find gross the idea of wet, squishy flesh rubbing together

You could go step by step until you get more used to it, with masturbation, then fingering, then penetration (oral is something you'll probably never like, as I'd say it's the grossest part of the ordeal). Or by focusing on the emotional side and doing it for your partner and the bond you two have

You don't masturbate, do you OP?
End of the day you're going to do something you don't like, which sucks, but if you're going to go through with it, it should be an act of love, not one of fear

I can't really tell you much since I don't have a problem with sex, but it shouldn't be painful, what problem do you have?

>>18423655
I'm already gay, and cuddling girls just isn't the same. It's the same like with dogs.

>>18423671
The thought of having foreign objects inserted into me disgusts me and the knowledge that someone would want to hurt me that way for his own pleasure upsets me.

>>18423683
>someone would want to hurt me that way
Well, that certainly sounds like you had a bad experience in the past. There are people that care about their pleasure first and foremost, sure, but that's not relationship material. A normal person would make sure you don't get hurt. Sex in a relationship is about love, not jackhammering, at least from my point of view, and that includes making sure that the experience is as pleasant as possible for the other one

You say you're gay, which I guess would explain the not liking having foreign objects inside you (but it also sounds like it could be a form of trauma going by the getting hurt part), why do you say cuddling with girls doesn't cut it?

>>18423707
Personal experience.

I have cuddled with girls and tried kissing them and everything and there's just something missing there. It doesn't feel good or right.

Like eating unsalted meat.

>>18423721
Hm. OP, are you gay because you like girls or because you don't like penetration?

>>18423721
This goes nowhere. Op you are scared talking about your own sexuality even anonymously online.

How old are you, what is your sexual orientation, what is your sex history, who abused you, do you have psycholog or therapist and do you even do masturbate or get horny?

You are asking wrong quesrions. Having sex (in ANY form) with your partner feels great. You ahould be asking how to make it enjoyable for you, nit how to run away from your problems.

>>18423736
I'm 23, transgender, had crushes on boys growing up, been fucked by plenty of men in the past but haven't put myself into such situations for years now, never been abused and the psychiatric professionals I'm seeing don't see any of this as a problem.

>>18423683
so you're both gay as well as asexual?

if you think your problem ends there mate you got another thing coming...

>>18423743
Maybe it's me seeing things but that sounded really forced and tense. Take it easy, you're anonymous. No one knows who you are nor care in the first place. Chill out.

>>18423743
>transgender
Here we go. FtM or MtF? Are you taking hormones? Have been to any surgery yet?

You probably have much more problems than getting boy to cuddle (but not fuck). Are you passable? Does your parents know? Friends? Coworkers?

Is your problem doing anal because you still have penis? Common tell us something to work with.

>>18423749
Sweetheart, I have to go have blood tests taken every two weeks to ensure that the antabuse I'm taking doesn't take too much of a toll on my heart or liver.

The antabuse that I have to take twice per week under the guarding eyes of a psychiatric nurse because I had a drunken breakdown at work and we all know I'm going to quit them if not held at gunpoint.

Unfortunately, I can still drink while on my meds, as I don't mind feeling my heart pound like crazy when I drink. I might drop dead from it but that's fine.

My father was killed by his alcoholism and untreated mental issues and I can assure you loving men but not cock is not the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my problems.

My shrink thinks I'm fine, though, so we're going with that.

>>18423750
I'm literally always tense and forced. What else do you want to know?

>>18423759
>My shrink thinks I'm fine, though, so we're going with that.
Change shrink. Clearly it is a problem for you, clearly you are distressed since you post here every couple of weeks about this.

What's the point of going to therapy if you are not addressing your issues with them?

>>18423756
Ftm, been on hormones for 2,5 months now. I don't pass for shit, my friends and family know but I'm about to leave work for school soon so outing myself there won't be worth the trouble unless I absolutely have no choice (testosterone becoming too obvious to hide).

I've never done anal and I intend to die that way.

>>18423767
That's not fair, I haven't posted for, like, months now.

And I HAVE changed shrinks since then. They just don't seem to think it can be a problem that negatively affects my life if I'm not actually sexually active.

I've considered getting a boyfriend who regularly fucks me to make the problem visible to them.

>>18423770
I actually like you OP, I talked to you once on omegle and I thought you were a nice person. I remember your posts because of that.

Have you talked to them about how lonely you are and how hard it is for you to find a boyfriend with this problem?

>>18423768
I am sorry. I have no magical advice for you anon. As i see it, you will be just another suicider down the line.

You are already displaying tons of self harming symptoms, you probably hate yourself and your body.

Are you on
>>>/lgbt/ ?
there are people who went through the same hell as you and guides on how to pass eventually. Ask there.

As far as we boys go, we want sex. Like super want it. Every day. It is our reason to exists afterall. Without our sex drive and libido, we wouldnt even bother getting up in the morning, going to work, getting fit or even taking care of ourselves.

The sole fact you hate sexual activities show how damaged you are. Solve this first. And even then, dating for transexuals is hard.

Sorry for even lack of shit advice :-(

>>18423777
They'll just tell me to spend more time with my family and friends. The Don't Need No Man gets drilled into people pretty early around here.

>>18423784
Tell them you do. That you need a man to be happy and that this makes you feel uncomfortable and you want to solve this issue.
Just insist that you want to work on this and you feel bad because of this. Insist on this a lot.

>>18423787
That's not going to work. They'll put me in some battered wife therapy group for being codependent and try and wean me out of wanting to love and be loved.

>>18423783
>As far as we boys go, we want sex. Like super want it. Every day. It is our reason to exists afterall. Without our sex drive and libido, we wouldnt even bother getting up in the morning, going to work, getting fit or even taking care of ourselves.

Not necessarily, you're overselling it. There are men like that, but not everyone is thinking of sex 24/7. I know I don't, I have very little libido and I do things just fine.

>>18423799
Let me guess
>overweight
>0 muscles
>not doing any sport
>shit diet
>35+ years old
>fap to porn all the time

>>18423804
>no libido
>fap to porn all the time
Geez, reading comprehension is hard

>overweight
Nope
>0 muscles
Not too much volume, sure, but I have a decent tone
>not doing any sport
I play basketball and swim four times a week
>shit diet
I'll give you that one, I don't have as much restraint as I should
>35+ years old
26, actually

You make sex the axis of your life, but not everyone is like that

>>18423818
So you are perfect candidate for op as her cuddle boy.

Now go and kiss her.

>>18423804
So a healthy man will always want to hurt me?

>>18423830
*him

>>18423830
Nah, fuck that. She's running away from her problems. I wouldn't let her indulge in that

>>18423832
Why do you take wanting sex as wanting to hurt you? Wanting sex is not that malevolent

Have platonic relationships

>>18423832
>hurt me
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

No. Sex is PLEASURABLE fun adults do with each other instead of playing with lego. Why do you think it hurts? Like, do you even do orgasms? Masturbate?

I tell you what op. You want to become man. Part of being man is being indefferent, rock which endure all sort of shit, ability to stand your ground and endure hardship. And once your hormones hits properly, you should start feeling as horny as boys. Testosterone in combination with a little estrogen will make you explode and hunt boys (if mixed properly).

So yeah, if you want to be the manly man, start acting like one. We dont run away from problems or pretend like they dont exist. WE SOLVE THEM (or escape to drugs and beating wives).

>>18423834
*He
*his
*his

>>18423839
I know it's not sadistic, they're not doing it out of a want to hurt me.

I mean, I like eating meat. I understand how the meat industry hurts and abuses animals and that none of them want to die but I like eating meat nonetheless because meat tastes good.

Sure, it would be great if there were animals that WANT to be eaten and start salivating at the thought of having their throats cut and blood drained to the ground, but that doesn't happen.

I understand men don't want to hurt me. They just like the way sex feels.

>>18423849
That still doesn't explain why you make a connection between sex and being hurt in the first place.

>>18423849
>*He
>*his
>*his
Ah, I got it mixed up. My bad, OP

Even then you talk like sex is something that implies you getting hurt
Did you find sex gross before or is it something that appeared after your transition?
You also didn't tell why does sex physically hurt you

This really isn't going anywhere. Is it penetration you hate? But you want to have sex? I don't fucking get it.

File: 1491343656261.jpg (114KB, 600x740px)

114KB, 600x740px

>>18423683
Is this bait, or did your father just do a horrible job of raising you?

>>/Tumblr/

>>18423887
It's always felt bad. Being penetrated is just an extremely unpleasant sensation, imagine someone trying to force their thumb into your ear canal. I seriously cannot understand how my internal organs were ever meant to have a penis inserted inside.

>>18423890
I don't want to have sex. I just want to be loved and that means I have no choice but to go through with it.

>>18423901
My father did his best and as little as that was it's still more than what you contribute to the world.

>>18423905
Would you then be okay with sex if it didn't involve penetration?
Maybe you could find a sub boy and peg him

>>18423906
I guess, though I'm not sure how to go about doing that. Being in a more active role I couldn't just be there and wait for it to be over.

>>18423683
I think you have successfully got the human race fucked up. You are human. We value certain moments of pain because the can be associated with pleasure. When you put it like that ("foreign object") it does sound unpleasant, but that experience has much more meaning for men or women who seek to make love. The man isn't trying to "harm" the woman solely for his pleasure. Genuine consensual sex should be all about pleasure for both parties.

>>18423952
Well, that isn't an option.

All I want is for someone to hold me and feel loved for like five fucking minutes without having to pay more for it than I can fucking afford.

I'm just so fucking sad and tired that I can't fucking breathe.

>>18423988
Why can't you get that from your friends, man? Or if you don't have any you're that close with, make some. I have friends who I can cuddle with and feel loved, there are totally people out there who would do that with you

They're hard to find, sure, but you can find them

>>18424341
All my friends have issues with intimacy and being touched.

Also, they're all female.

>>18423388
Volunteer.
Retirement communities, animal shelters, AA meetings?
Attend religious services.

>>18423388
Date a devout Christian, or whatever religion floats your boat.