Trust and Honesty

>>18417655
What is wrong with you that your standards are low enough to date a drug addict?

It is Allah's grace upon this Earth that you will almost certainly not ever be alpha enough to have children.

>>18417682
I was wondering this too: why OP decides waste his time on someone who will clearly turn out to be a shitty partner, and clearly is a shitty person already. I imagine that sex is the reason; she must be an easy lay and OP would rather pretend he doesn't mind her past and her drug habbits instead of finding himself someone more trustworthy and less trashy.

>>18417655
Totally normal too sleep all day after you ran outta meth too smoke and come down

>>18417682
>>18417690
It has nothing to do with that. I care about this girl like my own family. We go way back. She's like a sister to me more than anything.

People aren't trash that you just throw away. That's how you're left with nothing but a wasteland. I want to do everything to help her, but I forget how many people on here think it's fine to throw people away once you're done with them. Fuck that. This thread isn't about that, so you can go pretend to be some perfectionist in your ivory tower elsewhere.

I just want advise and strategies from people who have gone through or are going through something similar, and there are many. Giving up on her isn't an option, let's leave it at that.

Imagine your daughter or mother or sister, not some girl.

>>18417655
sorry dude but she's using. it isn't being on drugs that makes them act that way it's just who they are inside. Once you're an addict to any substance you'll always be an addict even if you aren't using.
take her to the doctor and get a drug test if you're having trouble believing it but she IS USING. DON'T LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!

>>18417699
Fuck you for thinking you're capable of fixing someones addiction. Fuck you for thinking you can throw money at them to make them happy. You're delusional to think that you are capable of doing anything. Someone who is taking drugs will not change until they want to.

>>18417699
I never treat people like trash unless they treat themselves like trash. Looks like your girl is not only using again but also lying to you - and taking your money for drugs. I appreciate that you want to be a good guy but at the same time you have to realise that sometimes you just can't help. The past and old habits are too strong.

>giving up on her isn't an option
Then enjoy getting dragged down by her and her habit. I'm sure her std-riddled pussy is worth it.

>>18417699
You've been too soft on her. Give her some tough love and see if she would show her true colors. Should she's really still using, you could give her ultimatum and if she's still not changing you have to really walk out from her since she's beyond any help.

Sad, but in reality you could try, but couldn't fix everybody. Better spend your effort on someone who wanted to be helped for real.

The only one who can fix her is herself. There's nothing at all you can do, the only difference giving her money makes is that she won't prostitute herself for it (or at least not all the time).

And of course she's using. Wasted herself for the day, that's why she didn't call back.

>>18417709
Well, gee, sorry for wanting to help someone, damn. wtf...
>>18417704
>>18417716
>>18417720
>>18417734
I probably need to hear all this, and it hurts me to acknowledge that it's probably true that she is using again.

Here's the thing, she says she didn't use last week, and she's been honest with me about using as soon as a month ago, when she tells everyone else she's been clean over a year. I feel like I'm in a unique position to try to help this girl, but everyone is saying there's nothing I can do.

I know there's a million people out there with loved ones, family, daughters and sisters going through this, where giving up isn't an option. Am I really supposed to just keep her as a pet, hidden away, so she doesn't turn into a crackwhore? come on.. I can't be the only person going through this.

>>18417734
Ok. So its not your fault IF she is using! Remember that. Addicts cannot find anything more important than what they they are addicted to. This might sound harsh. Dont think that you are as important to her as her drugs. Its the only thing that can make her as happy as she was before she stopped.

>>18417655
Don't give her money. Even if she weren't a drug addict, don't give her money. You're making her dependent, and for someone with dependency issues, you're basically cancer.

>>18417756
>Am I really supposed to just keep her as a pet, hidden away, so she doesn't turn into a crackwhore?

I tell you this, some people I know did this to their addict sons/daughters. Most of time because they don't have achoice to wal away, but you're different, you can walk can't you? She's not really family and someone who's your responsibilty, right? Why bother and hurting yourself that bad for her.

>>18417756

It's called "trickle truth". Giving small bits to distract the person they're lying to, lead them on a differentr trail and making them feel safe and not-lied-to while she continues her scheme. It's a classic tactic by any people who have bigger shit to hide (cheaters too - "I only cheated once...").

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>>18417840
>you can walk can't you?
>Why bother

I love her, but also, it seems everyone else has given up on her, even her mom. I guess it just feels like it's up to me to help her help herself.

Like I'm her last functioning combat unit on the battlefield of her life, and the only thing left from keeping her getting captured and ending up a pincushion prostitute for some drug dealer or pimp somewhere until it kills her or worse, miserable and out of reach from the people who care about her. It's unthinkable. I see her teetering on a precipice.

Shit's hard, guys. I blame myself for not being a better friend before she became like that, but she hid it for a long time. I'm ready to help her if I can.

>>18417880
You've got a bigger problem, man. you got a worse case of hero syndrome. Here realize this: you're not helping anyone.
She's only can be helped by herself, and if lots of people are giving up including her family then she's beyond any help.

Quit playing a hero and open your eyes, it's for your own sake too.

>>18417880
If her own mother has given up on her that should tell you that everything has been tried already. If her own mother can't help her how do you expect to?
I have a sister that has been using for the last 10 years. Every time she goes to jail do you know the first thing she does when she gets out? She goes and gets high and starts hanging around the same degenerates that got her there in the first place because the truth is she's one of those degenerates. Sometimes she's in there for 8 months and STILL goes right back to drugs.

>>18417910
I'm not playing a hero, I'm just explaining how I feel. How is it a hero to be the last combat unit on a battlefield? It's suicide, and I know I'll probably lose, and I know it. I just don't know what else to do. Which is why I guess I'm asking strangers online now for advise.

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>>18417917
Well, man, I'm not surprised. Prison isn't there to help anyone, it's there to isolate people. She probably is worse off after each time she went to prison. Have you tried taking her into your home or anything to get her away from the drugs? There has to be a solution. Are we all really supposed to just give up on the people we care about? Is it really such a thing, or is that just the easy thing to do?

Things haven't reached that point here yet, as far as prison, but it troubles me that I see it possibly heading that way, and it feels like like an approaching train wreck. She says she knows it's bad and she used to do it like everyday, so it's gotten better at least. I want to believe there's hope.

>>18417945
Yes. Every time she gets out of jail our home is always open to her with her own bedroom. Every time she goes back to the dope and brings her drug friends around the house so she gets kicked out. Hell I've even hired her to work at the restaurant I manage but she fucked that up and never showed up.

>>18417919
There you go, man. You KNOW it's a suicide for you. You can walk away from all of this, man. From your stories I relate to what I've experienced and I could tell involving with her further will do you no good.

If things go bad, you might start to think of using too since the stress and pressure will wear you away.

Listen, if you want advice, try to do what I've suggested >>18417720 before. If it fails, for god's sake pull away.

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>>18417967
>If things go bad, you might start to think of using too

It's something I'm loathe to admit to myself, but it's honestly one of those desperate things I've thought about, depressed and obsessing about this. if I thought it would help her be honest with me and trust me more as her ally than some fucking drug dealer, then I'd debase myself for her any day.

She tells me stories... That give me nightmares. I just had one last night, where I was looking for her everywhere, and couldn't find her. I was running everywhere, asking everyone, and the police were there and I couldn't find her.

But the stories she tells me... about the height of her addiction. the kind of people you imagine only in horror movies. People so far gone, they ask her and other junkies if there's anything left in their needle to shoot it up, and stick anything in their bodies. Literal crackwhores around her, but she promises me she never got that bad. And I believe her. She has some small framework of her old self left, and I think it's enough to build on. She says she's replused by that lifestyle, and I want to think it's just a transition period for her on her road to being clean for good, you know?

I feel like I can't give up on her, but I'm filled with doubt and anxiety and depression about it, to be honest.

>>18418018
You could always ask her if she would be fine with random drug testing.

I've known a lot of drug addicts. A few of them, when clean, are wonderful, trustworthy people. But the unfortunate truth is that addiction isn't something that stops because you do. You're not only an alcoholic when you drink.

If it looks, walks, and quacks like a duck, you know. It could be innocent, but you do not want to take chances. Keep an eye out for more patterns, because if she is indeed using again, you'll notice more before long. Money missing, she's drowsy or blows off plans, etc.

>>18418018
I have to go to work OP but I have an anecdote about a couple who were heavily addicted to opiates. The girl pulled some real Requiem for a Dream shit. But you'd never know by looking at them. They got clean, together, and they just had their first daughter. They've gotten past it, it's possible.

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>>18418060
Thanks man. I know it's going to be hard and the path seems really dark, but it makes it that much nicer to hear when there's a good outcome like that one. I know it's possible. And I want to believe.

>>18417655
One of my brothers is an alcoholic. He is sober when he goes to aa but a drunk the rest of the time. We tried everything possible get him to stay sober. Nothing we ever works. It is always HIS decision on when he'll stop. Unfortunately we are stuck with this shit bird.

If your friend dissappear after you give her money odds are good that she is using. A side effect of being an addict is being a LIAR. ,Honestly if her lips are moving then she is lying to you.

My advice get tested for every STD and stop sleeping with her until she's been sober for at least a year.

Good luck be strong

>>18417655
addiction never goes away
never trust an addict
get out now, anon, before your life gets seriously fucked up

let her go. i dated a schizo opiate user for two years and was so so emotionally abused that i regret staying for as long as i did. he stole medication and money from me and lied about absolutely everything