Dating a divorced man

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>>18416764
>He was very unhappy with her - he told me that they didn't even have sex over the last 7 years
Yes, OP, you can lock him in a chastity cage.

>>18416780
I'm not the type.
I really love cock :^)

>>18416764
>chance
Adv is not your crystal ball to predict future.

However if man is able to withstand 10 years of mental torture before he snaps, you can be almost sure if you two will ever break up, it will be your fault, not his.

Cheers.

>He was very unhappy with her - he told me that they didn't even have sex over the last 7 years, wouldn't basically even talk for the last 5 years and that it was generally a miserable experience for him.

poor baby, yea i guess he was also crucified by his ex wife
you women are so fucking stupid, no man goes 7years without pooning if he can pull women

hes lieing, you can be his 2nd ex wife

>>18416819
Why would he lie to me? Honestly, what would he get from lying to me?

>>18416810
I'm just worried about whether someone who just ended a marriage like that would commit to another person so shortly after. Because I sure as fuck wouldn't.

>>18416826
>why
Access to pussy, money, emotions, sociopath or just why not?

You probably see yourself as low worth female, but remember, after 7 years of no sex and no emotions or communication from your wife, ANY girl even willing to look your way feels better than heroin.

>commit
Some people are scared to be single. Basically from young age, boys are taught that single male is worthless. Virgin shaming, friends, tv, parents, questioning your heterosexuality and worth, everybody treats you differently when you are single.

You have too many questions and nost of them should be targeted at him, not us.

>do you like him?
If yes, there is no point worrying. Give him chance.

>>18416844
Brutal but this anon speaks the truth

>>18416826
Try not to be so defensive. We're just offering outside perspectives.

>>18416844
But still - telling me "I fucked up so hard in my marriage that we ended being strangers who lived together. I tried to fix it but nothing worked, so I stayed with her for 7 years because I couldn't bring myself to leave" isn't exactly giving him any benefit.
That's why I don't believe he is lying about it. Because he literally doesn't gain anything from it.
Then, maybe I'm blind.

I don't think I am a low worth female. I'm 25, good body and decent face, I have my shit together, I am a good person and a very loving partner.
If I spent 7 years of my life trapped in a relationship that made me unhappy, I wouldn't want to jump into another serious one right after.
That's the only thing that concerns me. And I don't know how to approach the subject with him, if it is even worth it to. Which is why I am asking here.

>Give him chance.
I definitely will, I like him tons.

>>18416858
>Try not to be so defensive. We're just offering outside perspectives.
I didn't want to be, I'm sorry.

if he is so unable to have a relationship that he spends 10 years in one where there's no intimacy or communicaton, i wouldn't touch that wirh a 10ft pole.
sure, he will blame it all on his ex wife, but it takes two to fuck up a marriage like this. and even if all HE did wrong was chose a psychopath and wanted to spend the rest of his life with that. not a sign of maturity and good judgement. you wanna be with an immature moron who has zero clue how to keep a good relationship, can't take responsibility and has subhuman judgement skills? yes? then go for it.

>>18416880
>jump into another one right after
As i told you, certain people are scared of being single. And maybe from his perspective, he was single all this time, just chained to bad wife and scared to move on.

>>18416886
>not a sign of maturity and good judgement
There are many types of people. Even the one you described just need to meet kind (maybe a bit of dominant) partner who will slowly train them for both of them to be happy together.

Maybe he isnt good enough partner for you, but maybe op just wants some nice a bit dummy husband who will never backstab her and do whatever he can to make her happy.

>>18416902
>Maybe he isnt good enough partner for you, but maybe op just wants some nice a bit dummy husband who will never backstab her and do whatever he can to make her happy.

that's exavtly the behaviour that leads to divorce. no. if you want a real relationship, it takes two. you learn from each other. not one is the teacher and one the student. it's mutual. if it isn't, then it will one day turn sour, guaranteed.

you people bitch about how moronic marriage is and about high divorce rate but never take the time to evaluate what people do right who have good marriages. the people in unhappy marriages and who went trough divorce are the ones who don't have their shit together. if you want to blame that on "marriage" instead of the people involved i seriously have no hope for you.

>>18416886
He never blamed it on his ex wife.
He told me where *he* went wrong, why he stayed with her for so long even if things clearly weren't working and what would he do now. He never blamed it on her for anything. He never said one bad word about her, to be honest, and described her as a very nice person.

He grew up in a very religious community. Got married at 18, they had been together for just 9 months at that point. The first few years went well but then things went south mostly because they both enabled each other's worst sides. They got very complacent and lazy. Shit went out of control after 5 years and they basically stopped spending time together or talking, and lived their own lives separately.
Their families pressured them to stay together even if they didn't get along because they don't approve of divorce. He had to cut contact with his own parents when he decided to finally go for divorce, they still don't talk to him.

>>18416902
>And maybe from his perspective, he was single all this time, just chained to bad wife and scared to move on.
I never considered that.

>>18416880
he already has your sympathy and around his fingers so its going nice i think

my friend is a similar asshat, he cheated on his wife before marriage, then acts like jesus crist on the cross,
>ive tried so hard

>>18416910
he only said his fault was to wait so long to quit. that doesn't mean he is aware of his glaring issues with communication. ofc it's also her fault, but he should have learned a lot out of this, too.

also, you don't talk about kids. i suspect that's not a coincidence. what about it?

look, he has fucked up, he has a shitty marriage left behind. there's no reason to daell over it, but he should be able to analize what went wrong and se what his part in it was to not repeat it. and by "what went wrong" i don't mean "they lived their separate lives and had no sex". yeah, but why? why did that happen? that doesn't just happen out of the blue. and saying stuff like "she just had low libido" is lazy and moronic. there's always a reason and he had part in it.

>>18416916
How is a guy who stayed faithful to his wife for 10 years even if he was unhappy and a dude who cheated on his wife in any way similar?

>>18416917
That's not what he said. As I mentioned in the post you replied to:
>things went south mostly because they both enabled each other's worst sides. They got very complacent and lazy.
If you want me to expand, sure.
They got married when they were 18 year olds. It was their first love and when they got married they were still in the honeymoon phase.
They didn't understand how much work a long term relationship needs because they never had any. They thought that love would be sufficient, but they took their relationship for granted, failed to communicate about the issues in a productive way, and things went out of control.
When the honeymoon phase ended and they started seeing each other as people, she didn't like him as much. She wanted him to be different from who he was (more dominant, more driven, etc), he took her criticisms too harshly and closed up in himself.
She had some psychological issues too (depression) and was medicated, which surely didn't help with the libido thing.
He was 20 when this happened. He grew up and understood where he went wrong. When he tried to propose couple counselling and such things, she already gave up on him and didn't even want to try.

> what about it?
She is sterile, they have no kids.

>>18416826
The marriage was over long before the divorce.

>>18416997
okey then. that sounds better. you have my blessings now.

>>18416844
>Basically from young age, boys are taught that single male is worthless. Virgin shaming, friends, tv, parents, questioning your heterosexuality and worth, everybody treats you differently when you are single.

Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. How your friends try to "help" you by attempting to hook you up with someone when you're perfectly fine on your own because everyone needs a relationship

>>18416764
51% of marriages in America end in divorce. The older you get, the more likely you are going to meet divorced guys in your dating pool. It is probably not a good idea to let that one factor disqualify them.

>>18417449
I'm 25, so it's rather rare for me to meet someone in my dating pool who is divorced. He's 29.

I am not particularly concerned about the fact that he divorced, but mostly how fresh the divorce is.