Why am I well liked?

You might appear intimidating. The way you talk or the way you moves could contributes to your intimidation factors. It's so natural to you that you didn't even noticed.

>>18415750
Impossible to say without knowing you, but you seem to me to be a person that is 100%, unapologetically themselves. You maybe don't try to please anyone and have a chill and "fuck it, im me" attitude. and no matter who you are, EVERYONE not only enjoy that trait the most in people, they down right respect it

You're probably some or all of the following:

a. Naturally attractive, or very average looking.
b. Naturally charming/entertaining
c. Have good judgement
d. Know how to make people feel important or heard
e. Are kind and easy going

Just curious...what are your opinions of other people? How do you view humanity as a whole and what do you think human nature is like?

>>18415806

f. What >>18415797 said

>>18415806
b-e apply in some amount. I guess I could be average looking, I'm not really ugly.

I try to like other people. But deep down I always feel like they aren't as complex or interesting as myself. Which is something I hate about me. Introspection seems to be one of my most favorite things to do, and other people just never are as self-aware as I am. My ego seems a bit inflated, and why shouldn't it be after the tons of praise I always get.

Human nature to me, seems net positive. I view people as inherently capable of good. I'd rather look at people as good to start off with because it's happier that way. But I often get bored and move on to new friends because I always can. I never have formed deep long lasting friendships.

I get bothered by when I look down on others. So I don't let it happen. I'm a super lonely dude even though tons of people always have liked me, and I don't often meet new people because of social anxiety.

>>18415797
This might be part of it. I joke a lot that I stand in a superhero pose, but it really is something I do a ton. I get super self-conscious about body language and that feels most natural without looking too weird.

But also, I'm just below average height. I do make a conscious effort to look people in the eye, but I've never heard anyone call me intimidating. I've always thought the opposite. I never was a sexual threat to other guys, and I often inflate other people a ton with the jokes I make or the conversations I have. So it always seemed to me like I might be a good person to have around because of my lack of intimidation.

A few people have called me gentle.

>>18415798
I would like to say that. But I'm probably the most self-conscious person I know. Everything I say is super thought out, and I change my thoughts about what I like or who I am all the time. Frustratingly much. I have new opinions on things from one week to the next. Not like I'm super mood swingy, I just am not consistent.

Though I'm super honest about my struggles. At least more than most others seem to be. I seem to have a weird tactic where if I get really honest about one struggle I have, and make it seem like I'm aware of it, then no one can criticize me. Like beating them to the punch. And it lets me never get better about it because I stay complacent in my awareness. I always want people to tell me if I do something wrong, but then I tell them what I do wrong before they even care. It's all weird interconnected head garbage.

It's become apparent that I have a pretty good grasp on why I'm well liked. I guess I'm looking for the answer to slightly different questions.

Why do I not like myself the same way that other people do? Why do I always feel like a fraud? I suppose I do lie, not nearly as much as I used to. I'm so good of a liar that I end up doing it without thinking. But it's always tiny lies. I don't lie about the big stuff.

>>18415898

Your self perception and how other people view you are basically two different people. In reality you're probably a mix of the two. People like you for good reasons, but you probably do what everyone else does and conceal your worst characteristics for the most part. Not that they'd be terribly bad, if they were you (probably) wouldn't be able to hide them. Some can hide some nasty shit depending on their intelligence and self control but usually people with personality disorders leak at the seams. I happen to be one of those people and it's really awful and unfortunate, makes life a lot more difficult as people can usually 'sense' something is off about me.

>>18415920
I have this metaphor made from my early life that works really well in a lot of areas, but I can never tell it to people because it's just too weird. Though I find it pretty hilarious, I'm not sure other people would.

When I was a kid, up until about ten years old, I used to shit my pants. A ton. My incontinence was the only reason my mom, or grandparents when I lived with them, would ever get mad at me. I had to start getting counseling over it, they thought I might be autistic (though I was too good at communication from a very early age for them to go further with that) but it never changed until I guess I just grew out of it. Looking back it was always my fault, I don't think I was afraid of the toilet or anything, but I definitely would hold it in intentionally. Honestly I got this weird burst of creativity from holding it in, so I kind of liked it, but mostly I think I just didn't want to get up and move to the bathroom. Even though weirdly, the bathroom would also be a spout of imagination for me. I always thought I could deal with it somehow I guess? I was a kid so it's not really my fault, but I was aware of it and what it might have been about from an early age.

Kids at school would smell it, and comment on it, but no one ever seemed to call me out on it. I guess I could hide it really well. Because I never caught flak for it even though there were many times I'd be in class sitting with a bit of shit having leaked it's way out.

I'm an incredible bullshitter. I can talk about things that aren't true almost endlessly. I often make up facts for people all the time, and they believe me because I have the reputation of intelligence. I liked to think of it like I'm "full of shit" and the creativity of my bullshit always harkens back to those times dealing with my constipation. The creativity that came with it especially. So yeah I suppose I'm pretty good at hiding nasty shit.

>>18415970
That also accounts for why I feel so much shame with any of my creativity. I seem to always feel like I'm full of shit anytime I'm creative. I call a lot of what I say bullshitting but people find me to be a great storyteller. I guess I often feel I have to bring myself down or challenge my own thoughts because others don't.

>>18415970
>>18415992

Oh god dammit
10/10, not even mad

>>18416005
I wish I was trolling dude. But this is for real. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

>>18416007
Honestly it's just so fucking funny to me that that connection works out like it does. It's just too good that one of my darkest secrets fits that well into a pretty hilarious joke that I make about myself.

I can't tell whether to be ashamed or to laugh about it most of the time. But that's the story of my life. I also happen to be a huge fan of cringe humor.

>>18415750
I feel like I am in the exact same situation as you, almost word for word, although I haven't dated yet and I'm probably fatter than you (which explains the lack of romantic interest in me). Other than that, everyone seems to love me and I'm kinda baffled how well my life has gone considering my lack of self esteem, which within the last few years has gotten much better by just accepting myself.

I think like >>18415806 says, its some combination of those attributes. But I have also noticed over time that I look kinda intimidating when in my own head (which I'm in a lot) so >>18415797 is probably right to some extent as well.

>>18415898
Maybe you feel like you have not earned the praise, and things like lying and taking advantage of their disposition towards you makes that even worse?

>>18416502
Yeah I often feel fraudulent. But the lying isn't bad anymore. Every once in a while I'll catch myself lying about something, like pretending that I know about it when I don't, but I can catch myself there. Other than that it doesn't happen anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I take advantage. But almost everyone I know I have shared that feeling with and they say to the contrary. So I'm not really sure. I just feel manipulative sometimes though I could never put a finger on it.

>>18416492
My self-esteem has also improved over the last few years! I have a much better perspective on myself than I ever had before. It took really just a bit of realizing how unhelpful and unfair the self-hatred was to doing anything with my life.

The "romance" was really a misstep. It was more like the girl came onto me and I was too nice to say no for ~2 months. I try too hard to like people that really I just end up hating them sometimes. But she ended up being crazy about the whole thing, and when I broke up with her it revealed a ton of red flags. Though for months afterwards I still had to deal with her and her infatuation. Which really contributed to how much I feel like a fraud sometimes. Like she said she loved me, though we "dated" for ~2 months, and would hate me whenever it was convenient to her feelings. Such a roller coaster. It was like she cared more for her ideas about me than she ever did about me. Anyway, that's a very long story that is behind me now, for the most part.

I have often thought I have the male equivalent of resting bitch face. It's probably related to how aloof I often am (always in my head as well). And I have a pretty good ability to get people to like me after the first impression, so it seems that I might be default intimidating. That's a hard thing to notice though.

>>18415869
>and other people just never are as self-aware as I am
And that comes from someone who says he's scared of social situations and super self coscious. You're just more critical of yourself, that doesn't nessecarily mean you're more aware of yourself. You say you're more self aware than others. Maybe. But you don't seem to be aware of other people or the situation the way the others are.

>>18415898
Well let me guess from what I've seen of you in this thread.

Your general mode is looking, listening, talking, focussing, reacting and reflecting inward. In combination with some of your characteristics this makes you likeable to others (yes they notice that you're like that)

But said "inwardness" has taken a toll on your perception of yourself and the outside. Noone has the perfect perception or the perfect awareness, but people can shift their focus outward and simply react or let stuff happen without thinking what said stuff means for them

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>>18417728
New cancer, nice

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Fuck. Are you me?

I mean, I don't know if people do think such things about me. But what your post describes is exactly like I feel.

>>18417871
I might be. Sometimes I wonder if the problems I struggle with are just human problems, and the reason people often can relate to me well is just because I'm good at describing them. I would hope I'm not the only person like this.

I often think that a lot of my issues sound deeper than they are. Like I'm actually just struggling with basic shit, but I can give it enough flair or add enough layers that it sounds unique.

>>18417649
My self-consciousness isn't always bad. I think there's a good kind and a bad kind, and I have a bit of both. And I wouldn't call myself afraid of social situations, more or less I'm just inside my own head too much and it leads to me avoiding them because I can feel disconnected. In fact I can be really comfortable in them when I'm in the right mood. It really just comes back to me. My social anxiety only ever happens because I'm inside my own head. It's pretty light anymore. I've gotten much better. I'm even probably a pretty charismatic guy in my own way.

And I really wouldn't like to think other people are less aware than I am. That's a lonely thought. I want people to share my experiences with. It just seems like most don't experience things the way I do. I get told I'm overthinking things a lot. Focusing on myself like I do so often makes it difficult to look past only myself. I'm improving but it's still a problem that I have. I want to not think that way, but it's hard when I find so few people that I think I can identify with, while tons would say they could with me.

I certainly am more critical of myself. But I like to think that I'm pretty aware of my strengths as well. It's a balance I'm trying to find; being realistic. I can get in moods where I'm just hating on myself. I don't want to do that. But I don't want to be in love with myself either.