relationshit: looking for outside opinions

oh, i feel this is kind of relevant: this person often strikes up conversation with me over facebook, and also has sent me hearts etc out of the blue. i am not messaging out of the blue myself here.

>>18415658
Messaging him would be a good way to communicate the idea that you want to be back with him and you have put your shit together and surpassed whatever obstacle you had before. But this is not the case (still living with another ex?) and you are just confusing him more. Leave the guy alone, get yourself together. Cut contact.

>>18415690
thanks for your reply.
it's true, i have not yet moved beyond my obstacles. cutting contact is not really possible as our social circles are extensively overlap.

i am trying to get myself together, i thought sending this message would be a step in that direction? if I just get a confirmation that everything is over between us I feel like I'll be liberated, and absolutely freed from most if not all of my anxiety, which is largely based around "I fucked up and need to make things right". I know there's a chance of the answer being yes, but I really want that "no, it's over".

>>18415754
are you sure you don't want the answer to be 'yes, let's make things work'?

btw, no don't send it. That's an awful message, and will most likely draw things out for days and weeks on his end too

If you want it to be over, then do a soft version of >>18415690
If you want to give it another shot, then just suggest to meet up an do something together, no explanation required. If he wants you, he'll join you

>>18415777
I admit that both outcomes have attractive qualities. is the message that awful?

I am very, very bad at talking about my feelings / relationships etc in person. I really clam up. not sure why I am stunted in such a way. However I do like the idea of a spontaneous meet up. should it be an obvious date activity?

>>18415834
>should it be an obvious date activity?
Does it matter? Won't the outcome of meeting up be more important than what you tell him in advance?

Before I decide to stay up and talk, I'd like to know how long
>a fair amount of time
is. How well do you know this person?

He's sending you lovehearts. Exes don't be sending exes hearts unless there's still some affection there. Just build on that. Lean against him. Walk arm in arm. Ask him if you think you could work it out if you moved on from living with your other ex, and sorted yourself out. His response should matter, when deciding whether you want to start the relationship for real this time around. You don't need to know everything before meeting him, so just suggest to take a walk, and if everything goes well, sit down and have coffee, or wine, or go somewhere to fuck

>>18415658
So fucking beta.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1iZ9ZcgtCtu