GIOYC -- Get it off your chest

>20 year old virgin
>was supposed to graduate this past semester but failed a class so I gotta pay an extra $2000 just for one class, it was a bs class too
>Dead end job where I'm underpaid
>addicted to cigarettes
>suicidal thoughts constantly
>short and skinny
>I can't stop thinking about "her"
>I have plenty of hobbies but at the end of the day it doesn't help

I can't stop these negative thoughts, they are literally taking over my life. I just want to get laid, I just want to make good money, I want to be fucking happy, I want to meet new people and i wish i didnt fuck up in school. I wish I had the motivation to make a change in my life.

20y old pushed his whole life towards academia to pursue a lousy job and a lousy paycheck
I am genuinely unhappy and have an organic need to do great things and make lots of money through business criminal activities or whatever and at this point ihave no idea how to change my life, where do i find similar people how to let my parents down on whom im still very dependant...

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>>18412806
Why the FUCK are you driving like an asshole in the summer? Everyone drives like SHIT when it starts getting hot. Just get off the road and go home because i swear to god when i reach in my glovebox the safety is coming off at that very moment. I will follow you home and tie your kids up. The stupidest thing you could do on the road is think that i have a will to live. You stupid autist, yank, millenial, entitled fucks. I cant WAIT until someone cuts me off ONE more motherfucking time, im gonna spill them. Motherfucker.

>>18412806

I've had a full, unopened bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter for two weeks now.

I work part time. I have four days of a week.
I SHOULD be able to have a drink.

Alas, I'm the one paying for anothers DUI. It's family so I can't just "nope" either. Especially not tomorrow. It's her last chance, since she hasn't took her probation seriously either. Apparently if she doesn't show up, she'll be "going down".

At least this time she called in advance.
Most days she straight up calls or texts the same morning, so even when she hasn't called I might be on call as the fucking family chauffeur.

I don't get petrol money, my mother already borrowed money off me to bail them out of trouble (despite the fact that she's already in debt to my mother that she'll never pay back), and I only fucking work part time so I don't even have much money to begin with.

But none of that matters to me. What matters to me?
Having one fucking drink. One glass of whiskey. One.

I don't drink often. I can normally go months without.

But I've been craving this for so long it's driving me nuts. When the craving starts, it comes strong. That rate things are going that bottle will still be full a decade from now.

It'd be so fucking easy to "forget" and let her go to jail, unfortunately, I already pointed that out to my mother so now even if I do forget, it will seem intentional. My family would disown me.

Fuck me I want a drink.

Shit, if sex is anything like this, considering how rare opportunities come by, then I'm glad I'm a virgin. I won't know that craving.

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I'm never gonna love anybody ever again. Why should anyone waste their time with a shattered person who just lives their life out of spite, or fear, or obligation?

>>18412861
You ain't gonna do shit, kid. You and both know it. You're gonna come here and make another pissy little rant and you're gonna stew in the "Next times" and the "One more motherfucker" and "Just wait's".

>when i reach in my glovebox the safety is coming off

You're not the only one with weapon, son.

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>>18412892
>he doesnt have a will to live
>youre not the only one with a gun kid
>kid
>kid
>kid
>being on 4chan talking about doing physical harm to another anon
>kid

Leave the guy alone, better than listening to the whiny r9k b&s

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This girl gave me her number a long time ago and I was only hoping to fuck, but I ended up getting sidetracked and now we're on break and we've been texting every day since Friday and I feel unmotivated to respond but she's a nice girl and I don't want to upset her.

I wish I knew girls into casual sex desu.

>>18412861
calm the fuck down. I get it, no one here uses turn signals either and I almost got hit twice today, but talking about shooting people over it is way too far. just utter a "wtf are you people doing" and then keep going.

>>18412881
life is a competition, if you're not going on in spite of difficulties, overcoming fears, and living up to your obligations, you're doing it wrong frankly.

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>>18412920
>life is a competition

so "it's not over till it's over"? thx guy

Eggh I want to finish my thesis but whenever I get started on it I want to stop. Come on come on concentrateee

Why the fuck do you keep reposting shit about guys leaving? Stuff about how you would take them back if they wanted? About how you stay up at night because you missed them?

I'm that person for you. And god knows you made it clear that you thought I was a shitty person, a person you could never be with. You told me to stay away from you and that youd never wanted to talk to me again. So why? Are you trying to pretend you tried your best when I know you didnt?
I'll never understand women.

>mfw I pretty much recognize every poster since a few days ago
I must be going insane, but goddamn.

I sure hope your new relationship works out for you because if it doesn't the way you're neglecting your friends will ensure they won't be there when you actually need them. I'm happy you found something real and he makes you really happy but you're killing us. We still care about you. Stop with the lying and avoidance. We all know you just go home everyday after work and spend all night talking to him. It was cute and understandable for the first few months but it's been six months. Some of us haven't seen you for months. I want my friend back. I want to know that our friendship was real and not just something that was convenient until you found a boyfriend.

>>18412975
nah you're just learning to identify people. though it can be really hit or miss at times. sometimes you'll think someone is someone they aren't, sometimes you won't be able to identify people when you need to be able to, sometimes people are more subtle with their posting, sometimes people try to pretend to be other's to make them look bad.

I read in an article that staying up for 30+ consecutive hours gives a strong antidepressant effect immediately, so I decided to try it out. I got extremely bored about 24 hours in, but I toughed it out, only to find that I felt worse than ever at the end of it. I passed out for a couple of hours, and now I'm back here. I still feel like shit.

Maybe I'm just meant to be unhappy. My handheld recorder came in the mail today, and I was slightly looking forward to making my own music, but there's just zero drive within me now to put something together. Even if I try to make something beautiful to convey the state I'm in, it's not satisfying, and really only takes away what little energy I have. It's fucked. I've spent so much money on those long-term goals I thought would make me happy, and none of them have. Not even a little bit.

God damn it.

how does no one know if she has a bf?

also wtf is this new fresh captcha bullshit where I have to identify the sign, then tell it what kind of sign it is. I'm not trying to play minigames to post every time wtf.

YOU FUCKING ARE HERE YOU LoL PLAYER! that was you and her wasn't it?
fucks sake. this has been a complete mind bender. so we have been talking, but you won't talk to me directly. is that a protection thing like, considering so many people slander you daily? I understand that. damn I wish we could talk politics and just, whatever, in a clear way though. I like to think I'm pretty good at identifying people here but I have wracked my mind on trying to figure this shit out.

and the other day on the other board, that was you too wasn't it? I was practically reading some posts with your voice. hah, this isn't going to make communication any less stressful but at least I know I'm not going crazy and I was right thinking you were here.

>>18413040
that's also really embarassing because of how I got. geez.

if I had done my homework on you instead of hoping for clear communication to learn about you, I'd have caught the references.

I just want to disappear and never come back.

>>18413040
>>18413044
your early 21st century delusions have a very mid-20th century vibe, kiddo. Cute.

Why do I get the feeling that only about 10 people ever post on this thread and I know at least 2 of them?

>>18413050
Same.

Please let this be real.
I need this win.

>>18413062
what I'm getting is that trad romanticism is cute.
>delusions
nibba please, I got you dead to rights. I do this stuff for fun.
>responding at all
>responding with vague references to 21st century romanticism and more traditional time periods
>implying a knowledge of what my post was about and past posts that are relevant
;p

>>18413062
you're cute too.

I love you so much it hurts. I've never cared so much for someone, other than my siblings. Its exciting but also scary. Because nothing lasts forever. Losing you would hurt like losing an internal organ.

>>18412906
So you're just leading her on so you can use her? Thats sad.

God, random number generator, who the fuck ever....

Please, please, please let me get this job.

I feel like you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't deserve you. I feel like it's going to end at any time. I wish you felt the same way about me that I do about you. You say I'm only looking at things with the wrong perspective, but I don't understand how we can practically live in each other's arms for 4 months straight and still not be in a relationship. I need this to change or I'm going to tear myself apart with anxiety. All I can do is just keep being patient, but I feel like you're just keeping things open because you want to be able to find someone else. You don't actually want me. I'm just the one who made you feel better.

I wanted to put this >>18413083 here. My bad.

>>18413078
god I wish I could say this was to me.

>>18413090
They're trying to get laid. Online dating rarely leads to meeting people who aren't just going for that, from my experience. Try finding hobbies and so on that involve meeting up with people. There are tons of groups and so on in almost any city, although it is a bit of a chore to find them. Make friends and meet their friends friends. Have an active social life. That's how you'll find someone.

Please end this.

Why, WHY are you dragging this out? Are you fucks having fun? What good reason do you have for doing this to me?

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You tried to ruin my life, you tried to cancel my future.

You acted like a friend at first but broke down the confidence I spent months building up and then abandoned me after a few months of being my "friend."

It hurt badly. It got to the point where I flunked out of our old college. But you know what? I didn't give up. As soon as I left, I got to work. I found a part time job at a decent store and started taking community college classes.

I started out mediocre but I kept working at it and learning my lessons, and last term I got straight As. Now I'm transferring to a 4-year school to finish my Physics degree.

I will graduate with honors. I will get my PhD in planetary science. I win, you lose.

so, there has to be some kind of app that deletes messages or something that you'd be comfortable with. if I'm honest I'm dying for easily attributable conversation

also yes strawberry is absolutely redpilled. lol

You people have given me several nervous ticks, broke my ability to trust, gave me heart disease from the excess stress, gave me an eating disorder, destroyed my self image, and made me doubt my own sanity.

Fuck all of you.

imy bill

AJ Mason makes my feel funny things

All eyez on me is coming out, I want to go see it with my dad. I'm going to see him tomorrow, I'll see what he thinks.

>>18413096
It isn't just people I talked to online.

I love you so much, but I need my life back. I can't keep living from one moment with you to the next. I need to get my shit together, and I need to do the things I personally enjoy sometimes, with or without you. But I worry so much that as soon as I do this, you're going to take your non-commitment and use it against me to hurt me because you'll be mad that I'm not giving you all of my attention. I don't know what to do because you've made me so happy and I'm so scared that by putting my foot down, I'm going to usher in a new era of confusion and frustration.

I am a sociopath. I feel no emotion toward anyone or anything. I can't hold friendships let alone relationships. I just wish I could be normal, or at least normal in a unique way. I wish I could be correctly social. I wish I had never started using 4chan. Even as I write this I feel no remorse. I watch hardcore porn and ISIS beheadings just so I can feel the tiniest hint of horror or shock. I can pretend to be normal in society, but it never works. Life is just so empty for me.

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I must be a horrible person. I just can't find it in me to care about someone who causes their own problems after everyone telling them their mistakes.

I have this really obese friend with severe Depression and PTSD. She's a nice girl but god does she piss me off when she gets sick with things that are part of being fat. I've told her for years to eat healthy and exercise but she won't. And if I bring it up she gets offended and says shit like "Are you judging me?!" And it's like "maybe a little? But that's because your health is clearly suffering and you deserve to know the truth."But she just doesn't change. And like I chalk it up to her mental problems, but now she just got diagnosed with Diverticulitus and....I can't seem to care. She even mentioned she could die if she forms an abscess and I just can't muster anything more than a "that sucks." I'm just...TIRED, you know? Tired of her denying there's anything wrong with her and tired of her living her life the way she does. She can't drive, she can't live on her own, she has no job and she allows herself to drink like 2-3 monsters a day and eat horrible food and has the GALL to say shit like "Life isn't fair!"

How is it not fair, A? Seems like this is EXACTLY what you wanted since you refused to change. Unfortunately the foods she's restricted from eating due to her Diverticulitus are somewhat healthy (nuts and seeds). I was hoping this would FINALLY be the thing to FORCE HER to eat healthy. But no. She'll just be like "I was going to eat nuts instead of this burger but whoops! I can't have nuts!"

Her mental state is REAL BAD, but it's just so frustrating to care so much about her only to see her basically throw her life away like this. I can't do anything to help her, and I'm wondering if I'm just wasting my time.

I think I feel fine with FWB now. I'm getting into the mindset that it's more like "two really close friends that just want to make each other happy in any way they can."

I'm feeling braver too. I can't wait to see him again so I can ask him how he'd feel about getting a wireless bullet vibe to use on me in public when we get to hang out. I get giddy thinking about sitting in a restaurant while I try to talk casually as he messes with the buttons on the controller under the table. I can see that stupid slight grin on his face while he talks like normal to me and watches me squirm in my seat.

>>18413192
>wireless bullet vibe
this is hot. casual sex not so much.

>>18413192
Can I get your initial?

this place is really time intensive and we both obviously can't be here a lot. it's not sustainable. there has to be something easier and faster that you're okay with. I'm about to have to hit things really hard to get out of this city.

I tagged my boyfriend and another person in a post on fb and my boyfriend freaked out
like wtf

He's also freaked out at me for saying I would go see a movie he didn't want to see by myself

I'm so sick of this

I don't know if I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend anymore. It's hard because he loves me and never has any problems with me- I've never been in the position where I am the only one unhappy. We've been together for three years but I just keep bringing up the same shit with him and it never changes. I'm 30lbs lighter than I was when we got together and he's gained more than that. He is a pushover, coward, lazy, and unambitious. He slinks around like he's sorry for existing. I can't say anything without him tearing up like a fucking baby. I have to treat him with kid-gloves and sugarcoat all the problems in our relationship or I feel like a bitch calling my bf fat and bad at sex/life. I'm 22 and he's 27 but I feel like I've outgrown him

Just had a big blowout fight tonight because my dog was puking and he was too anxious to call the vet while I was trying to help her. Laid out all my shit with him again and I am just tired of having the same conversations over and over when he is obviously happy staying the same or worse

>>18413207
Do either of you have a history of cheating? Something is making him insecure and it's important to find out what. It might not even be from cheating. Maybe he just has really low self-esteem.

Either way, if he can't chill, dump him. There's no point to a relationship without trust.

I'm 27 and never had sex, or even a real relationship.
Am I going to regret it if I just pay random whores for sex? I mean beyond the obvious STD risk.
I just don't think I'll ever get the love or intimacy I so desperately want. I'm too socially awkward and my hobbies are too niche, and despite being unattractive and out of shape I only find skinny girls attractive and none of them want anything to do with me.
I don't know. I'm lonely, I'm horny, my life is a mess and I don't have any motivation to fix it because I hate myself.

>>18413202
He knows that I really love toys so I hope he likes the idea of this since he loves exhibitionism.

It's not all that casual. We care about each other a lot. This is actually my first FWB and it just kind of came about like "Hey, we make each other really happy as friends and we're very compatible sexually. Why not have sex too?"

I don't fuck just anybody, but I don't judge people that do enjoy casual sex though.

>>18413203
My name starts with an A, but my FWB would never be on here lol

>>18413220
Fuck 'em. He KNOWS there's something wrong with him but is refusing to change. Offer to take him to therapy as a last straw - whether it be couple's counselling or seeing if there's something very wrong with him.

If he won't go/change, then leave him.

>>18413254
I actually brought up couple's counselling tonight and he just said "why?" I think that in his mind, I'm just being emotional over the dog and I'll get over it in the morning. I kept explaining to him it's a symptom of a bigger issue- during the fight I told him I hated him tonight and immediately apologized in horror but it barely impacted him. I don't know if he even fucking likes me anymore or if he's just afraid of moving out of his young gf's place back to his parent's. I'm just done with his cowardice and tears and empty promises

>>18413267
Then forget him. He's being an ignorant little bitch at this point and you can do better.

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>>18412806
I've sunk to all new low. I feel, lets say, disenfranchised. But only to the matter of having another human being genuinely invested in listening to what I have to say. I don't even get "I don't care about that" - I get nothing except the ramblings of a person who doesn't actually want to converse with a person, but rather a facsimile akin to the interactive capacity of a damn wall. They don;t even want to hear anything I have to state pertaining their subject-at-hand, but rather, they just want someone to be a thing to speak it to. Why can't I partake of the obviously overwhelming privilege of having another human being who both can interact with an opinion on a subject and offer one towards another subject which is not originate from themselves. Nevertheless, I am partially amused by the apparent inability of the persons I have been been privileged to interact with for the last while that cannot seem to engage even tacitly in any conversation nor opinion that doesn't coalesce with the things they (assumedly) regurgitate from the narrow scope of the media they both partake frequently in and are limited in scope thanks to their highly specialized interests that the internet oh so seems to amplify in its acute focused exposure to these interests, and none other.
Well that was nice to get that off my mind, and even nicer to have it articulated. I'm going to eat a cookie now.

>>18413286
fucking this. I would about kill for serious conversation. there's a woman I find myself smiling listening to regularly and wishing I could be there to ask her questions I don't see other people asking.

also, well done on this post. hot damn that's dense reading.

what specifically do you wish you could talk about anon?

>>18413176
Sometimes you need to put your foot down to be understood by those around you. If one actually cares about you, they will listen. It make take a little to get through, but they will understand. You have to also present your desires as well. For a relationship to work it's give and take. One sided doesn't work because one side ends up give up so much that they are left hollow and then grow to resent. So speak up, and if the feelings are real between each other, they will listen.

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Dear C,

When I first met you I couldn't stand you; you were always so nice and cheerful to the point where it seemed fake. I guess I can overlook that considering you have to deal with people so much.
Eventually I noticed how much effort you put into what you do and how you always strived to have things done according to policy in spite of the fact that everyone else was okay with letting things go. I've never seen anyone so dedicated to anything before in my life. It's been more than a little inspiring.
Somehow, and quite unexpectedly, I also find it irresistible. I've never been attracted to anyone based solely on their ability to get shit done before now. Not only that but you're the only person in years who's been able to get A out of my head for more than a day.
Idk what to do. I can barely think straight when you stand near me and it's no small miracle that I can even speak to you. I've never met anyone who could inspire me to move mountains while completely paralyzing me at the same time. I'm not even physically attracted to you, but I'd tear you to pieces given the opportunity.
You'll be leaving soon.
I may never get to struggle speaking to you again.
I'm glad that you're achieving what you set out do by coming here.
I will never forget you.

R

>>18413326
this

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>>18413319
Dense? lol, yeah, I guess I always get like that when I talk about my feelings.
tl;dr - anything, really. I'd just like if they gave an acknowledgement of any sort, I don't expect much here. An opinion would be nice. It's just these people I keep running into.

But yeah, what I wish I could talk about? Well almost anything. Just simple things, things I want to talk about or mention. I wanna tell people "Hey, I got these tomato plants but some of them didn't take and I got to plant more. I think maybe I should set them outside for a bit everyday before I plant them so they can handle the shock" - and what I want from that. I a response! Any! I would settle for "I don't know, anon".
I even get the silence from things we mutually are talking about, things say. "Oh I like that about this show. But I really love [blah]." I just get nothing, not even an acknowledgement I made an utterance. I know it's just these people I've been running into and there are people who can have an opinion on things.

However, I should point out that most this is just textual conversation and not IRl speaking - at least IRL I get an "I don't know/ I don't care" sometimes c'ause people feel pressured to respond when there is a physical human being speaking to them. But mostly I just get a runaround to what they want to talk about and no real comment whatsoever about what I mentioned. Some of those people you don;t even have to do more than grunt and they'll continue - but I try not to be like that, it'd just make it worse lol

>18413365
>only person in years
Damn that. You're the first. It's just been years that I've wanted to forget. You won that prize flatout.

I hope I get through this week and pass my classes.
I hope I see her again and we start something, and I'm not disappointed or let down.
I hope I just keep going and not become depressed.

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>>18412861
>tfw I drive for a living
>all season
Half of you Really need to just call a damn cab.

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>>18412881
Yes you will. Only she won't love you.

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>>18413319
Oh yeah. Ah, you reminded me about something. It's not much though. Anyway, I would say the best conversations I've had with people is ones I started with a random question. "What do you think about this thing?" Could be anything, but even what they think of how something aesthetically looks, or even more basic than that. Its even fun to do with random people.

Anyway, I like your thoughts on that. Just try anything, d00d. You remind me, I should do that more myself - these people led me drive myself into a rut. It's not their fault, it's mine.

I don't know why I spend time here.

>>18413375
I'm no gardener but I've been wanting to set up whatever I can in the courtyard of my townhome, just don't have time and now I'm moving relatively soon. that sounds like a solid plan for tomato's if your weather is harsh though. you could try a different type of tomato too.

yeah idk, I find people only want shallow conversation these days. someone can ask me a direct question, actually here's an example... I was asked a direct question about work I did on my car, I already knew not to get detailed cause no one cares like I care, but the second I went past like 2 seconds of basic stuff, I could tell the person that asked was just like "idc". why ask then?

>>18413389
not that anon, but I don't need this feel right now.

I hope you're not that much of a degenerate to ruin the families around you.

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>>18413415
No hard feelings anon. Life just has a way of being bittersweet.

>>18413438
>Life just has a way of being bittersweet.
yeah I tend to have an issue with accepting the shit life tries to give me. I don't give a fuck what life wants to be anymore. life wanted me dead 10 years ago.

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i can't get over this fucking breakup. i miss her so much. im like a walking corpse and i dont even leave the house

this fucking SUCKS worst i have ever felt by far

It's been 12 years since you died and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I've never been the same since you were ripped from my life. I'm a complete fucking wreck with out you, my heart aches. I'll get flashbacks to when you died, to the wreck and I relive the pain of seeing your lifeless corpse laying on the side of the road. I tried bringing you back, but you were already gone. I struggle with suicide ever single fucking day and I'm tormented. I'm in agony, I just want to die and be with you.

>>18413415
I was having a lot of communication errors hence why I'm late with this. The putting out to climatize was a tip from my farmer father, I've never had the knack for transplants.

Yeah, it does seem people are like that now. A part of me wonders if that is a part of reaching a certain age. But another part wonders if that is a mark of our era - as I feel the older people I have associated with, both as I was young and those same people now (if they;re still alive) were more sociable especially in terms of the variety of topics. I can't put my finger on it clearly , but they seemed different in that regard.

why talk to me at all if things are the way they seem?

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Okay, first of all if you hate humble bragging (even unintentional bragging) turn away. Just here to vent a little.

I'm a girl and due to some past experiences, my self-esteem is shot.

>improve skin a bit
>lose some weight

Cue
>lots of attention
>smiles, everyone's warm to me
>be called beautiful
>think it's just some conspiracy to lie to me in order to be nice to next-level fugly girl
>rinse and repeat, think everyone is lying to me

>actually see what other people see when they look at me
>turns out that while my past experiences were correct, being fat actually fucked up my face a lot more than what's normal--losing weight and that double chin has made me look far more younger and far more prettier
>actually am conventionally hot

It's just...huh. All these years of weeping over my looks, about all the trauma I went through, and...I don't care.

I'm still not good enough to be in a relationship.
Where it counts I'm just not good enough, and it goes beyond love.

I guess all I can do is learn from this...I might have gone through so much suffering, but what I really hated all along was who I was--who I am. Everyday I'm going to work on myself and my dream, using this self-hatred of mine as fuel...

WELP time to wrap it up and pack it in. never would have gone down this fucking rabbit hole if i'd have known. awesome to be in this headspace.

good on you luke, now I know where some of the other posts were coming from. well played everyone. hope it was as hilarious for everyone else as it was for me.

why even talk to me? like I can't wrap my head around the thought process for not just stopping me unless it was amusing. it would have taken a couple words and I wouldn't have... like, just damn. how many of you were here that one day laughing at this shit? real fucked up. don't expect help in the future. lol I liked doing this shit, it wasn't because of some, oh maybe she'll like me, I did this shit long before I started helping identify people for you. I just liked doing it. I like being helpful for a cause and for people I like and I like fucking with people I don't. when the people I like treat me like the people neither of us like, that's pretty fucked.

epic troll. good job.

real unfortunate. useful lesson, real unfortunate.

>>18413676
So what you're saying is the golden rule came back and bit you in the ass.

>>18413676
>>18413792
i dont understand

>>18412844
Halp pls

>>18413792
>the golden rule
I treated everyone with respect and support except for people that disrespected me or are the type of people that disrespect and treat people like me shittily.

the most I did was go fucking cringe.

>>18413792
if you're going to preach about the golden rule, practice it.

Day to day it repeats , and the days blend over and over again
Since a week now I been thinking about suicide another time , and im not going to do anything as always because im scared of making my parents sad about me , silly isn´t it
Tomorrow the social services from my country are going to try to get me working since I dropped my studies
Day by day I just get more and more tired , I can´t remedy it in any way , lately I was thinking about a idea for a videogame , and I ended realizing it was terrible , and now I can´t found anything to live for , I don´t really know if I really want to make videogames , I don´t know if I want to drawn for money , I don´t know anything
Im not qualified for any standar job since I don´t even have the minimum studies

Im here just to watch and enjoy the agony , isn´t it , I always knew it someway

>>18413909
ok?

I thought going on a date would help me move on.
It only made me more depressed because it reminded me how strong the connection was when we first met and how it'll probably never happen to me again.
I miss you so much.

>>18413941
I have been on this board for years, but this is the lamest thing I've ever seen. Go to >>>/lit/, and stop positing your LARPing fanfiction here

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sometimes I wonder if I'm simply too much of an autist to ever not be a virgin. I know I've improved, but..yeah, no.

A dude from class liked me and, whew, he was sizzling in his own unique way.....Asian and bespecled with Harry Potter messy hair, but buff and tall with a handsome face. The duality between sexy and nerd turned me on so fucking much. I wanted to ride him to the wild west and back - my sex drive is insane and he is 1 of 5 guys I've been attracted to out of the 1000s I've seen here. But then I just ignored him and basically rejected him because of my own crippling incompetence.

I feel vaguely bad about my predicament. All types of people get into relationships. But here I am, thirsty and alone.

i live in a small town.
sometimes i go out by night and tag shit on walls.
i have a really bad reputation in this shit village.

i often threatened people and somebody told the police.

I am left handed so therefore I am very emotional and do not seem to get a girlfriend eventhough im trying really hard.

i dont have a job I did not finish high school but im graduating next spring, hopefully.

I started doing drugs as a teenager and have been to mental hospitals only so I did not have to go to the military.

every time I behave bad my parents assume I revisit the mental hospital.

It makes me puke because I've only been there so I could skip military.

Everyone I know knows about this and they still keep making fun of me.

I ofc cheated on the test and got a wrong diagnose.
Docs gave me wrong medicine and I started to feel really bad, nearly threw up and I could have erections.

I've been to a mental hospital more than 6 months.

I seriously just wanna move on and it is working out and on the other side my family keeps reminding me and cracks joke which are really hurtful to me and destroy every trust and confidence I have.

Especially my mother when she's having it or my father say " You behave weird start your therapy or go to mental hospital"

It is a shame.

I thought my parents would be smart and recognize that this diagnose is a lie and so is their love towards me.

They only care about themselves which is good but when they care about me it is always the same old " Go to therapy story"

The head MD is a total dick in this town and is only there for the money , obviously.

He himself had a break down as well.

Another doc told me I would be healthy.

It is so funny , my father replied when I told him we should get a second opinion : That is not possible!

And guess what the head MD told me last time : Maybe you should get a second opinion.

It is crazy.

I told him he would destroy my life if he would reinforce my mother into thinking I'm sick but he did.

>>18413632
Boo hoo, you would've gotten laid as a fat fuck too. That's how easy you bitches have it. Fuck off.

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>>18414099
>saying that to a girl that doesn't give a fuck about guys
It's nice to know how much importance you place in fucking. News flash: there's more to life, you poor thirsty sap,

>>18414112
>News flash: there's more to life, you poor thirsty sap,
Yet girls do nothing with it anyway besides getting fucked. Guys are the ones who invent and create everything in this world.

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>>18414116
Shame that has nothing to do with you, bubbleboy, because you've contributed nothing to society.

>>18414122
>because you've contributed nothing to society.
And that's based on what? Are you a psychic?

I'm always on the edge of getting into a fist fight with my dad

Dear S,
I was wondering if you want to spend this thursday with me? I remember you told me, you had a free day, just as I will have and since it has been the exact same day last year I thought we could use the occasion. We meet once a week when having piano class and I'm always cold towards you. But since last saturday, at the concert, where you touched my arm, I bet you didn't realize, I'm having a hard time getting you out of my head. Not that I normally have to, but this touch was a special one. It is almost like you left your fingerprints on my skin and I can feel them every minute. In fact I haven't been touched for 13 years. I didn't need touch until you did this to me and now I am feeling like an ape baby who is dying because it did not get touched enough.

I'm fighting a constant inner war. I have demons who want to haunt and torture you and me and I have angels who want to get physical contact so much, there is barely anything else. To be honest I can't think of one thing, which would really interest me except getting touched by your soft hand.

I'm fed up with those demons, though I know, I won't be able to contain them very long. I have a terrible need to cry about this but I want to, for one day, be there with you and only you. I wish to be there, silent, looking in your eyes and to love you. To be allowed to love you.

I hope that one day I will be grown out of my stupidity and actually be able to find words and write it all down. My schizophrenia. Please leave me alone, just for two or three hours.

I am hoping to be kissed by you. But you cannot love me. I love you too much already. And I would never expect anyone to understand the foolish contradictions I feel and blabber about. What I need now is the courage to ask you irl - I think you will say yes. And then I must not explain myself, talk about philosophy, teach you stuff, think about my misery or be closed-hearted. For this thursday I want to make you feel good.

Yours, your nemesis, L

I'm a 22 old virgin girl, I masturbates sometimes, but never felt like fucking anyone. I feel mildly interested in some guys sometimes, they don't even realise, but this often fades away. Even though I'm not fat, I'm pretty insecure about my body. I never fell in love, I usually don't feel like seeking a relationship, but sometimes I feel kinda lonely. Often I feel pretty bored about everyone, even the ones that I love and care about, feeling a urge to be alone.

I have some issues with anxiety that affects my health. Sometimes I feel kinda depressed and hopeless, but never been diagnosted with depression, so idk. I have few friends and I feel like they don't really know me at all, usually I don't have a problem talking to people when is needed, but it takes a long time for me to consider someone as my friend.

I don't even know anymore if I should look for help or just accept that I'm probably asexual or weird.

So I dreamed that my ex murdered another timeline version of me. And he was ready to kill my dad too. And me. The scariest part is how believable it all was. It was him. I need a hug.

FUUUUCK I THOUGHT I WAS OVER YOU

>>18412806
if i could nuke you i would do that(my university)

I want to shoot myself on a regular basis but I don't because I am a coward.

My body and brain don't work properly anymore since the accident. Sometimes parts of my body feel like they're on fire. Sometimes it feels like they're in a vice. Other times I can't sleep, or I wake up confused, out of breath and soaked with sweat. My memory isn't so good now.

I can't remember what my parents looked like anymore. Sometimes I wake up and don't remember who I am.

I have said everything I wanted to day. I'm not even sure what to say anymore. You disappear for week, and just respond with a short reply.
You ask how I am, but I'm not sure anymore if it's out concern, or simply a formality. I want to reply, but every time I write something it doesn't sound right anymore. I am speechless, not because I am astounded, but because I am of things to say to you.

>>18412983
Being in love is one of the greatest things a person can experience. You claim its understandable, so give anon a break. Its only been six months.

Have you tried actually asking them to hang out?

I mess up a lot at work and it just feels like plate spinning so much of the time. I really really hope I don't get fired.

>>18413040
yeah im gonna need initials

smartass I thought you hated me make goose noises and I'll run a kite

>>18413228
AT?

I'm studying abroad in a large city and to practice talking to strangers, especially girls, I thought I'd practice with Interpals (an even softer choice than something like Tinder)

I've never had problems talking to women in the real world, I've dated several girls for a total of a few years, some way out of my league

but I can't even bring myself to open my inbox to see what these people replied to me

why? why do I have this fear all of a sudden?
it isn't even so much a fear of rejection as fear of acceptance or fear of interaction-- if they laugh at me and shoot me down then I don't have to talk to them anymore

I don't understand
I crave social interaction but am so scared of it
what the hell happened

You're a lot cuter than I thought. Help.

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last friend gone

>>18414566
>this image
There's edgy, and there's just trying to be stoic in front of a group of predators who want to tear you down if you so much as either smile, get angry, or get sad.

>grow the fuck up and get out of the weird messed up world
nothing makes me angrier than this, because the world I live in IS weird and messed up. I already grew the fuck up. I'm paying my bills, my taxes, my food, etc. I'm even working out to get into either the Navy or the Air Force so I could at least stand a chance in this economy. I even gave up most of my junk food to get this far. Is there more to going 'mature'?

I'm being genuine here. What the fuck else is there? The world is brutal and vile, so you might as well try to be a rock and form a sense of humor or maintain stoicism. I'm not a good jokester, so the choice was obvious for me.

Fuck these uptight people.

>>18413109

U w0t m8?

>>18413177

Highly doubt you are a sociopath. You're just dead inside. there's a difference.

>>18413190

Stop hanging around this person. They are toxic and just gonna pull you down with her. You are not obligated to save her especially if she doesn't wanna do shit to fix herself. Gross, fat people.

>>18414325
E?

>>18413552

This is heart breaking to read. It's been 12 years, you are traumatized. It might benefit you to try and get a therapist or talk about it to someone. My heart goes out to you anon.

>>18414053

Wow he sounds super cute. Talk to him, anon! Wtf go get him lol

>>18414089

Your parents are dicks and you're kind of screwed living in a small town. Grow up, get the fuck out, and stay far away from your toxic family. They are causing you damage

>>18414650
Nope. Not your E.

>>18414234

Wow, did he ever tried to kill you? You should seek help if that's the case

my only friend died when she was 17 from childhood leukemia. i'm 19 now and since then i've had no friends and whenever i make them my bad attitude and personality pushes them away entirely. i'm so lonely and can't stand to be by myself a lot of the time so i frequently stay outside in my yard until around 4am before getting so tired than i'm forced to come in and sleep

It's been several months since I've spoken a single word to this abusive prick and yet he still won't get over it and calls me from random phone numbers. When will he fucking stop and get a life? I'd consider filing a restraining order but I don't have all his information.

I'm happy for you that you are finally getting out of this dead end town, but I also really fucking like you. I would have loved to see if we worked out, I hope you feel the same.

Was I supposed to be dating/fucking other people while hanging out with you like you obviously are/we're?

Why am I too loyal for my own good? I'm way too fuckin vanilla for this shit

I miss you so much. I feel like I will never connect with anyone again like we did. I hope you are okay, I just want you to be happy. I am so proud of you, for everything you have been doing to better your life. I hope you get out of here and live the amazing life that I know is waiting for you in the city. I still think of you often, I hope you miss me too.

I got friends and family and yet i feel so lonely

You are boring as fuck.

You don't drink and don't smoke, I can respect that, but you have literally no hobbies, you don't even like watching TV and you say is too soon to have sex, you do literally nothing at all except complain when I don't have anything funny to say because, surprise! You also never have anything interesting to say.

I'd rather play Video Games than go out with you... wait we don't even go out because you don't like going out, we just come to my house, where I spend most of my time, anyway, and nothing interests you, yeah fuck off.

Hey jackass stop making excuses you know you can be a better person you just need the effort, your games are not an excuse to not fit some time in for being a decent fucking Human be proud of your self you got a job you have a place just be confident in who you are and make the effort otherwise you will continue to feel like a waste of space and continue thinking that no one likes you or will like you when in reality you just need a little confidence -J

i've never stopped missing you rafael
you'll never be replaced

>stop being an autist sperg
>become confident
>ask girl out that I really like and that we got along great
>she's "too busy" to go out
>find out she started going out with the most cringy autistic sperg I know
I give up, Idk why I should care about anything anymore. And I know what you are thinking but if that guy is more attractive than me then my vision must be twisted as fuck.
And I still can't make myself be attracted to another girl. I thought I was asexual until I met her.
I know you are gonna say I'm an arrogant shit for thinking this way about that other dude, but this is the vent get it off your chest thread and I need to release this.

>>18414855
Wait, to a J or from a J?

ZT / JN / MS / AC / LM but fuck thst other bitch, she can fucking die

anyway, my old group of friends. i've been having dreams about them since i moved back in with my mom (after a long fucking time of her pressing me to move back after a long time of drifting across the US), and i hate it. because i miss them, but... they don't have any desire to see me. but i have no... real reason to see them. they're better off without me. i'm not who i use to be. i'm a completely different person today.
you know, i remember being in high school, MS was saying she wanted to try cocaine for the first time. back then it's like "oh haha me too that sounds fun." i wanna go back in time and be like, "take that back. it will fuck you life up, stay away from it"
i wish i had myself back... i mean, not being constantly belittled woulda helped back then, but yeah
i'm fucked up. my whole life got fucked up. i just wanna sit at my brother's house all day again at this point, shit is too fucked up and all i want right now os consolidation or something. or a fuck ton of drugs to od with.
i hate these fucking voices in my head. i almost wanna go on the fuckin deep web and put a hit on myself. there's an excess of audible pain in my music now. my music is bullshit and angry.

you guys don't want to see me
i don't want you guys to see me like this

i jusst miss y'all and hope you're happy. i really do...

love,
???

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> Diagnosed with ADHD
> Diagnosed with ODD
> Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum (Asperger's)
> Baker Acted
> Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder
> Baker Acted
> Diagnosed with various Schizo.
> Baker Acted
> Lie to Psychologist regularly, make them genuinely feel as if I'm getting my act together and displace blame on others, convince them it is a matter of Nurture, not Nature

>>18414939
i sincerely hope you're a girl, cuz you sound like quite the crazy fuck.

It doesn't feel like I should be alive. I don't want to work, I don't want to go to university, I want to give back to all those who I have leeched off of over the years but I just can't picture myself doing anything. I can't see myself doing anything 10 or 20 years from now. I just can't imagine it. After all these years I still don't know what kind of career I want but I can't picture myself doing anything which is of interest to me. I can't see myself working retail. Anything. I don't want to leech off my mother anymore, I don't want to leech off my partner anymore. I can't run away from it all since I'd have no way to support myself anywhere and my partner has already poured so much money into supporting me. I'm not sure if I even love my partner anymore... Did I go to them because I was on the edge of living on the streets? I already knew about their anger issues but I thought it would all work out anyway. It's all too late now. I'm just not sure what to do.

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I got a call for a job opening last week. Even though I need one (I have a small business but it isn't working out well), I wasn't looking for any, so it came as a fucking great surprise

After a short talk by phone they said they'd call me for an interview that should happen today, but nobody got in touch with me for the actual scheduling. I already called their office and asked what's going on (politely, obvsly), but I can't stop thinking of pic related. I probably wasn't selected for an interview for some reason and the guy who called me made some kind of mistake saying that they would call me for that schedulling.

I mean c'mon, nothing ever good happens that way, falling from the skies on my lap, specially a job proposal like that, with good paying and for a company I'd love to work to. I wasn't looking for it, but life apparently likes giving you a glimmer of hope just to pull the rug from under your feet.

Your shape, your forelock, your eyes. My last thought is you, every night, before sleep. I was supposed to be over it. No fight, no chase. No fantasies and no talks unless you contact me. It will go away. It has to. I'm tired.

>>18414930
Both actually.

i'm gonna blast off on DMT because real life is fucking stupid

>>18412806

I had a dream where the woman I love moved to a different shift.
Now I feel like shit because it seems like something that could actually happen, what with all the changes around there.

I realised that my worst nightmare is having to go to that place knowing full well I'm not even going to see her in passing.
Now I can't tell if it was just the dream or something I overheard that might be happening at work.

H, if your reading this. Please don't switch shifts. I need you.

>>18414566
This Is the consequence of being an edgelord. If you don't like it change your life and/or find new friends. Not sure what you expect when you go out of your way to make people uncomfortable just to stand out and push people's barriers. Conceal it and stop bitching nigger

I thought you would be different. I waited for you for so long. And now, that we're finally together and I moved hours away from home to be with you, I've found this other side of you I never knew existed in the 5 years we have known each other. You quit your job and now we cant pay our bills, ao yoh take all your stress out on me because you havent found a new one. You gaslight me constantly. Nothing I do is right. My mother is begging me to cut my losses and move home.

I love you so much. I dont want to give up, bur god, i wish i could stop walking around on egg shells, and i wish i wasnt made to feel like shit all the time

>>18415110
...Uhh, shit.
Funny thing is that an S usually gave me that schpeel, which is why it related to me so closely.

I'm also a J, but no J's in my lifetime have ever known me as closely as S ever did.

I don't know how to get over her
She was so nice and I wish she would've talked to me so we could've fixed our problems
It hurts to see her with another guy especially cause it hasn't been that long
I feel horrible for hurting her so bad cause I had no idea what I was doing
I know it's dumb but I secretly hope we get back together one day cause sadly I can't get over you

>>18414664
Aw, thanks anon.

I honestly just don't know how to talk to guys. Heck, aside from my best friend, I struggle with talking to anyone and sadly it's gotten worse over time. There's a sea between me and other people, and the levels always seem to be rising.

I don't enjoy anything.
Even my favorite hobbies don't bring me joy anymore, they're just ways to waste time until I can finally go to bed.

I've probably been suffering from depression for a long time, but I don't want to get help, I just want to die in my sleep and be done with it.

I'm attracted to a barista and I am kind of ashamed of my self and afraid of what to do next.

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>>18412806
I want to end my life. I was raped by hallucinations and /adv/ told me to go the fuck to /x/. Not even someone who said he was a medical guy showed any empathy. I wish I had the guts to off myself. I wish I had a gun to make it easy. Now I'm stuck here hallucinating despite any of the pills I've been given. Without any pills I go completely blind effectively because images fill up my vision.

I'm tired /adv/ so tired.

you know what the most disappointing thing about the whole thing is, he won't even commit to you. he's using you. you've lost yourself if you ever believed in what you said. it's sad.

>>18414658
Thank you. It happened around a terrible point in my life, my parents divorced and we had barely any money at all. My school had to pay for my clothes and food. Nothing has gotten better, 6 years back I had back to back mental breakdowns. I spent 2 weeks each time I went into the mental hospital, found out that I decoupled bipolar disorder. The only thing that is keeping me sane is the painkillers I take. I haven't had a girlfriend since then, and I've slowly become a hermit. I barely even speak aloud anymore, I have no real life interactions since I have no friends or family.

>>18415308
are the hallucinations figuratively raping you or are they literally raping you?

I hope you find medication that actually helps

I don't want to be married to my husband anymore. The only reason I stay is for the kids. It's so hard to not say anything to him about how disappointed I am with him and with our relationship. He has become so lazy and dose literally nothing to help our family. I feel like I don't have a partner at all and like everything is 100% on my shoulders. I don't know what to do

I stopped leaving the house when I was 13. People in my neighbourhood would roll their windows down and shut at me for being ugly. I've had people come to me on the street and call me ugly. I've had someone come up to my friend and call her beautiful but in the same breath had to let her know I was ugly. Numerous failed suicide attempts and ten years later and my biggest regret still is becoming a hermit. I want to recover I want to be apart of society but I can't get over my fear of people. I wish my face and body weren't so offensive.

well, I met this girl a few months ago, and in my highschool (I'm a graduating senior) she's known for like the fattest ass in the entire place. I thought she was 10,000 leagues above me until we started talking in December and she told me she liked me. Naturally, I was fucking thrilled. Over time I realized I was falling in love with her, but it was her first time really talking to a guy (odd because body is 10/10) so she really didn't know what to do. Eventually we had a conversation that led to me telling her how strongly I felt about her and her being like "it will never work out". so, i got really angry and upset and cut her off, didnt talk to her for 3 months but had a short relationship (rebound) with an acquaintance of hers. a few weeks ago we started talking again because she didn't want to make it "awkward" before i left for college. our first real conversation was pretty much us attacking each other over how we handled the relationship we had together. Now it's back to what we used to have, because we pretty much talk on the regular and i realized this whole time i still love her. she doesn't know but for Christ's sake she's been in my dreams the past 3 nights. I can't tell her about how i feel about her because the answer is one i have already heard but i'm beginning to feel like people around me know i still am in love with her. not sure what to do, dont want my summer to suck because I'm chasing a girl i will never get but it's kinda hard because she's almost flirting with me again. what do i do niggas?

>>18415308

Try to channel them. Idk what to tell you, being that most people including myself have zero concept of what you are going through. Id imagine itd be like explaining color to a blind person.

Nikola Tesla had hallucinations and visions that bombarded him, to the point where it left him an extremely eccentric man and a hermit in old age. He was possibly the most intelligent person to ever live in known history based on his contributions to the world of science. Literally everything in modern civilization hinges on his inventions - and his inventions came from his visions and hallucinations. It cant be explained, but somehow they came from the void of nothingness and into his mind and he brought them into reality.

Idk dude. Im not saying youre the next Tesla. But dont think you are crazy in the conventional sense. What you are experiencing likely has some meaning behind them that you need to figure out. Idk how to help you discover what the point of them is, i dont think its something you can ever control (Tesla learned to harness his but could never turn them off, something that he considered his greatest blessing and most horrible curse). Just hang in there and dont ignore them. Find the purpose. You have an extremely rare two-edged sword; a fantastic gift and a terrible curse. Learn to use it so you dont get cut by it anymore.

Hope this helps. Again i really cant relate. I just hope that you can derive some purpose and meaning from what you experience in your head. Modern society doesnt accept your condition and im sorry people dont understand you and possibly never will. Hang in there dude, try to find the positive.

Good luck anon, truly.

>>18415318
It's more literal. I can't even tell anyone. I'm so scared they're going to lock me up again. I would rather die than be back in that psyche ward.

>>18415337
That's really fucked man. I dont really know what to say other than i wish you luck and hope you find some way to combat it. Does meditation help at all?

>>18415330
You are really young, you don't have to be taking this so serious with the "in love" thing. You care about her that's fine. Just hang around her and if she flirts then flirt back. It sounds like she's still hung up on you to. I'd just let whatever's going to happen progress naturally and not focus so much on labels like "dating & in love" just have a fun summer and if you guys click things will become more serious with time.

>>18415343
thanks for the advice, i appreciate it. i want to have fun this summer before I go to college and i just don't want to get hung up on one girl

>>18415346
Well then just be open to others to, I'm not saying go be a whore and fuck any girl that will get with you. I'm just saying keep it friendly and playfull with this one you do like but don't have blinders on for only her. You never know you might meet someone else who is just as cool. If the girl you do like a lot starts really flirting or wants to get exclusive then you can act on it if you want but I'd just try to take things slow and not force anything.

>>18415357
that sounds like a good idea, now that i'm done with HS i feel like I can mess around like that because not everyone will know my business

I think bullshit rumors are ruining my life.
I made the mistake of hooking up with the wrong woman years ago. She had a daughter, didn't bother me, I had a son too so whatever. After a while she started telling me strange things like her daughter had been touched sexually. I kept explaining to her that I considered that kind of shit to be sick and I was not interested. I guess she didn't believe me, it took a while to figure out she was trying to convince me to do sick things with her. She never came out and said it though, which was why it was so confusing for me. It was more like she would mention odd things, like comparing herself to her daughter during foreplay, stuff like that. I made the second mistake of thinking I could help them see that decent men don't do that shit. That only resulted in me and my son taking a lot of abuse for a couple years. It turned out that her whole family was into that sick shit. I finally left her. But then things got weirder. It seemed like half the people I talked to were trying to get me trapped into situations that looked bad, like randomly having to leave, couldn't take their kids asking me to babysit for them. If this was a close friend I could understand but not someone I had just met. The other half of the people I met would randomly have an issue with me that they wouldn't explain.
I think that bitch told a bunch of people some bullshit in a weird attempt to get ahead of any stories I might have about her family. Which is fucking paranoid, I just wanted to be done with the bitch. Now every time I meet someone that isn't a pervert after a while they just stop talking to me and, like any other time they have some issue with me they won't explain. the best I've gotten from anyone is "you're probably a great guy, but I can't take that chance"
I'm not asking for advice or anything, I just needed to get that off my chest.

>>18415367
jesus christ that is sickening

>>18415110
Fuck don't spook me dude.
Are the second letters the same? Are the fourth letters also the same?

I'm going to have a fucking heart attack by the time in my dad's age, the way I get stressed.

I REALLY hate unreliable people, at work, in my personal life. I'm not sure if I'm hyper Type A personality or something but I can't trust people to do simple things. I always need to do it.

(Vtaber guvf.)
V pna'g trg njnl sebz fgerff orvat gung V'z gur crefba crbcyr pbzr gb jura gurl pna'g trg gurve fuvg unaqyrq, gubhtugf/jbeqf betnavmrq be ceboyrzf fbyirq.

>zl os vf artyrpgvat gb fubj zr nssrpgvba naq pna'g nssbeq zl obhetrbvfvr yvsrfglyr! V nz hfrq gb orvat na nqhyg!"
Pbafvqre qbvat yrff bs K, ohvyqvat n eryvnoyr fnivatf nppbhag, znlor gnxr n oernx sebz L naq gel abg gb pragenyvmr lbhe jbegu ba univat M orpnhfr vg vfa'g va lbhe ohqtrg pbafvqrevat lbhe rkcrafrf. Lbh'er ybirq, fgbc orvat fb ybj ba lbhefrys.

V'z onggyvat zl bja ohyyfuvg naq gubhtugf jvgubhg vaibyivat crbcyr -- gvzr gb nhgvfgvpnyyl fperrpu ba /nqi/!


>"ner lbh bxnl, naba? lbh unira'g orra ercylvat n ybg yngryl....."
Lbh qba'g gnxr jung V unir gb fnl frevbhfyl naq vg'f rkunhfgvat zr. V arrq gvzr nybar gb erpbire ohg lbh jba'g nyybj zr gur fcnpr...

>"Lbh'er gur fjrrgrfg tvey V'ir rire zrg naq lbh'er irel trarebhf. Gunax lbh sbe nyy gung lbh qb"
Pbzcynvavat vf hfryrff (shyyl njner) -- V jnag gb or urycshy naq unir inyhr va gur rlrf bs gur crbcyr V pner nobhg orpnhfr ab bar fhccbegrq zr yvxr V qb bgure'f. V qba'g eho zl trarebfvgl va crbcyr'f snprf orpnhfr vg'f na hapbzsbegnoyr guvat sbe zr gb bcrayl gnyx nobhg. "Bu, lbh arrq uryc cnlvat sbe K? Cnl zr onpx jura lbh unir gur punapr!" "V fnj lbh ybbxvat ng guvf va gur fgber fb V gubhtug V'q fhecevfr lbh jvgu vg. Tynq lbh yvxr vg, xrrc hc gur tbbq jbex" "Lbh'ir orra gnyxvat nobhg K n ybg fb V beqrerq vg sbe lbh nf n fhecevfr, unccl lbh tbg vg unun"

V nyfb guvax fbzrbarrrrr znqr n fbpx chccrg nppbhag gb genpx zr ba zl bayl fbpvny zrqvn juvpu vf cvffvat zr bss orpnhfr V jnag abguvat gb qb jvgu fnvq vaqvivqhny. Shpx bss, V qba'g unir gur gvzr gb qrny jvgu lbh. Lbh unir gbb zhpu gvzr sbe qhzo fuvg. Trg n wbo naq qb fbzrguvat jvgu lbhe yvsr. Pna'g gnyx gb ure fb lbh unir gb farnx lbhe jnl onpx vagb zl yvsr? Arvgure bs hf jnag lbh. Tb onpx gb lbhe ubyr naq fgnl gurer gs njnl sebz obgu bs hf.

Shpxva err.
(Raq)

>>18415429
"V nz *abg* hfrq gb orvat na nqhyg" *

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A N X I E T Y
I S N T
R E A L

>>18415455

Fuck you, you don't know what fucking anxiety is

>>18415429
Lbh BX, qhqr? Lbh'er nyy bire gur shpxvat cynpr. Naq V'z abg ersreevat gb gur Pnrfne fuvsg.

Gubhtu frevbhfyl, jul gur shpxvat pvcure?

>>18415429
TRANSLATEDIGNORE THIS.) I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM STRESS BEING THAT I'M THE PERSON PEOPLE COME TO WHEN THEY CAN'T GET THEIR SHIT HANDLED, THOUGHTS/WORDS ORGANIZED OR PROBLEMS SOLVED. >MY BF IS NEGLECTING TO SHOW ME AFFECTION AND CAN'T AFFORD MY BOURGEOISIE LIFESTYLE! I AM USED TO BEING AN ADULT!" CONSIDER DOING LESS OF X, BUILDING A RELIABLE SAVINGS ACCOUNT, MAYBE TAKE A BREAK FROM Y AND TRY NOT TO CENTRALIZE YOUR WORTH ON HAVING Z BECAUSE IT ISN'T IN YOUR BUDGET CONSIDERING YOUR EXPENSES. YOU'RE LOVED, STOP BEING SO LOW ON YOURSELF. I'M BATTLING MY OWN BULLSHIT AND THOUGHTS WITHOUT INVOLVING PEOPLE -- TIME TO AUTISTICALLY SCREECH ON /ADV/! >"ARE YOU OKAY, ANON? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN REPLYING A LOT LATELY....." YOU DON'T TAKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY SERIOUSLY AND IT'S EXHAUSTING ME. I NEED TIME ALONE TO RECOVER BUT YOU WON'T ALLOW ME THE SPACE... >"YOU'RE THE SWEETEST GIRL I'VE EVER MET AND YOU'RE VERY GENEROUS. THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO" COMPLAINING IS USELESS (FULLY AWARE) -- I WANT TO BE HELPFUL AND HAVE VALUE IN THE EYES OF THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BECAUSE NO ONE SUPPORTED ME LIKE I DO OTHER'S. I DON'T RUB MY GENEROSITY IN PEOPLE'S FACES BECAUSE IT'S AN UNCOMFORTABLE THING FOR ME TO OPENLY TALK ABOUT. "OH, YOU NEED HELP PAYING FOR X? PAY ME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!" "I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THIS IN THE STORE SO I THOUGHT I'D SURPRISE YOU WITH IT. GLAD YOU LIKE IT, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK" "YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT X A LOT SO I ORDERED IT FOR YOU AS A SURPRISE, HAPPY YOU GOT IT HAHA" I ALSO THINK SOMEONEEEEE MADE A SOCK PUPPET ACCOUNT TO TRACK ME ON MY ONLY SOCIAL MEDIA WHICH IS PISSING ME OFF BECAUSE I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH SAID INDIVIDUAL. FUCK OFF, I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO DEAL WITH YOU. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME FOR DUMB SHIT. GET A JOB AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. CAN'T TALK TO HER SO YOU HAVE TO SNEAK YOUR WAY BACK INTO MY LIFE? NEITHER OF US WANT YOU. GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE AND STAY THERE TF AWAY FROM BOTH OF US. FUCKIN REE. (END)

Just remade my Facebook and therefore I'm not blocked by my ex... Its been 7+ months since we've broken up and now also her and her bf have broken up. All I want to do is send her a message apologizing for how I treated her so I xcan be forgiven hopefully and stop feeling guilty all the time, but am not sure how she would react and I'm worried it may be bad. Until then I've got this depressing overwhelming cloud of guilt over me

>>18415429

>why are you posting a cipher on an anonymous board

22 years old, fiance left me on Christmas eve a couple years ago and it still eats at me. I dropped out of college (for unrelated reasons). Couple years go by and I get a pretty good job and meet a nice girl but I end up fucking it up with the girl by being an oblivious asshole. A few weeks later and I injure my knee, putting me on medical leave with my job in jeopardy. I've also pretty much been raising my nephew for the past 4 years (since he was born). I feel no desire to really be positive and suffer from manic bipolar disorder. There are time when in genuinely happy but other than that I just want to die. When I drive I imagine going into the oncoming lane when a big rig passes or just grabbing my pistol and shooting myself. Only things that stop me is i don't want to leave any debts unpaid for family to deal with and the 4 year old as his dad ran off to Texas when he was born and I'm the father figure to the kid but more than half the time I genuinely hate my life.

im really scared of that exam, i just hope it goes well

>>18415472
Because of fags like >>18415480 that can't mind their own business l. I've only posted like this a couple of times and on this thread alone.

>>18415495
You've got it a lot better than me. At least you have a kid to live for. I regret opting out of parenthood but I don't want to pass my mental illness onto future generations.

Life is so hard sometimes. Don't make the mistake I do and not tell anyone you're having those thoughts. I have no right to give you advice but I empathize with your situation.

>>18415527
Thing is, he isn't my actual kid, he's my sister's. And I've thought that he's young enough that it won't impact him as much and it would basically be like I moved away or something but I just can't. And I've tried seeing a therapist but I just shut down, it's on a whim that I even decided to say anything on here. It's just hard you know, I don't even know what to do anymore

I could have been successful all on my own if it weren't for this bullshit. You stole my life and then try to fucking lecture me on things which you caused on purpose.

Get it off your Chest Now!
... Why did I listen to OP?

I keep going to the same place on break tuesdays and buying the same exact shit just so i can see this qt3.14 who works there. Even if its just a how do you do and shit, I get a little happy speaking to her. I dunno why I just feel like i want to keep going. I guess im not really into her at all; I dont know her personality at all, and her being polite while working isnt really a big tell or anything at all, but I sorta am. I think I'd like to be just be friends with her. She seems kinda quiet but chill. but I'm not good at conversating, and I dunno what I'd ask her without coming off as nosy or something

>>18415540
If I were in your shoes I would make that kid my reason to live. Someone to give to the future so I matter in the grand scheme of everything. You need something more improtant than you to have real mental fortitude and strength.

I'm on the same road though. I stopped seeing my psychitrist and I don't feel the need to go anywhere or do anything. I'm lost in the fact the world doesn't seem to matter from where I'm sitting. I'm not sorted out at all but I hope the first paragraph helped.

>>18415526
Next time you should do a letter substitution cipher, but not a shift. It'll still be very crackable of course but a lot more work, and also a lot more fun. Most people won't bother and you'll probably make some bored crypto-fan's day.

>>18415526
then dont post it in the thread mate; what did you expect I was curious what you wrote and I translated it to save others time.

>>18415387
All women are very sick in the head, just depends to what degree.

>>18415621
Allow them do to their own work if they're that curious, man

>>18415594
Thanks for the helpful tip, anon

>>18415629
Well, I'm sorry then

>>18415624
every fuckin body is sick in the head. men, trans ppl, etc etc, every fuckin trash bag on this planet is sick

>>18415624
I would be totally fine with a chick that's morbid or hell any other kind of crazy, just not that bullshit.

>>18412806
Sometimes I want to have sex at random moments during the day, and other times video games ruined my life its supprising how much depression can come from fricken roblox XD

I don't want to be with you again. Being your buddy won't make me happy either.
I'm so hurt. When we broke up I never imagined you would do this.
You admitted that you're "a little bit of a fuckboy" and I thought you were joking- but the next thing I know we're touching each other again and I'm kissing you and kissing you and your hands are in the places I've wanted them to be for weeks but all I can feel are your raging hormones and empty lust. And you had the nerve to say it wasn't planned.
I hope watching me cry killed you inside. I hope seeing the weight I've lost is eating away at you. I hope you feel like shit. I hope that when I hugged you, and you cried and I asked you what was wrong- the crack in your voice when you said
"I hurt you," wasn't artificial. I hope you are miserable over what you've done.

I want to kiss you again though.
Fuck you.

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>>18415757

>>18412806
I wish I didn't have brain damage. I wish I wasn't mentally ill. Everything I do stresses me out and makes me feel sad. My job sucks. I have to count using my fingers. Every day feels like a different humiliation. The best I can do is try to get as numb and comfortable as I can and wait out death.

I dislike sex. I'm not a people person. I have no hobbies or interests. I can't improve at anything. Not really.

I'm alive because I'm afraid of dying. That's not living. I'll be lucky if I don't end up snapping and hurting someone and rotting in prison somewhere. To be honest, I should probably be put in a home.

The mood swings are unbearable. I kept beating myself in the face a few days ago. I'm starting to feel back to normal now. I know it's only temporary. One day I might snap and hurt myself or someone else. I'm really afraid of that.

I can't think of a future I want. I tried to learn how to drive. I even got a car. Crashed it. Almost died. I was so relieved it was over. Scared, yeah, absolutely, but this was _it_.

I'm just so tired. I wish I had the nerve to kill myself. I cried for two hours a few days ago I just couldn't stop. I never cry. I wish I was dead so badly. There's no future worth having.

Sooo I didn't ask him out. But I see improvement! We teased each other a lot haha. I think he could be interested. He even sent me an email continuing an argument we've had lol. Good signs good signs! Right?

I don't know how to let go of the idea/belief that sex is, or at least should be, more about connecting with your partner rather than doing and saying hot things for his pleasure. I don't know how to be comfortable with doing what comes naturally to me when it feels like nothing comes naturally to me. But continuing to fake sounds and motions won't work anymore. He wants me to be genuine and I don't know how to tell him the only thing that comes naturally to me is to just lay there or make sure I look attractive

>>18415842
Ohhh adv what am I going to do until I see him again? I'm too excited!

And I was sitting next to him and I could smell him and hhnng. Oh men, do they drive you crazy. Wonder if this guy can tell how much I want him

>>18413552
oh anon. feels

You're going to be a legend one day.
You already show signs of that in your career, every critic can scrutinize your sound, look, style, but they can't deny your talent.
You're a true artist and that's something that's rarely seen these days. You shine like a flame in the midst of darkness.
You're unique, you're special, you're exceptional, I KNOW THAT, everyone knows it. Some people hate you for it. Some people love you for it.
You're reaching the critical points of your career. You need to look deep into your soul and see what it speaks to you, you shy away from that sometimes, and you definitely did now, but now it's a necessity. No more hiding.
It's not only to proof yourself to others, but to proof YOU to YOU. Go out there. God is watching you.

Love, me.

>>18415849
I've heard some men actually like that. I personally don't get it, but everyone has their own things. You are probably best finding someone who is like that.

>>18415757
Abbie?

>>18415897
No men can not tell, not most of us anyway. Just tell him what you think and what you want to do. He's probably got an idea but wants to be sure. Don't com on too strong, but tell him you're attracted to him. He only needs a little verbal confirmation.

>>18412806
Mom I get that you're paranoid. I understand you have a mental illness, though you never stay on meds or with any doctors. But that doesn't erase the pain I've felt due to it. Any time I have a problem with you, you become what seems defensive, but what you call your paranoia. I think you're overreacting? Suddenly I'm a robot or working with one of either the Klan, the government, drug cartels, your parents or some combination. It's deflating, even kind of funny sometimes if it weren't so tragic. Nothing is ever your fault. And if I ever even try to bring up problems I have with you it goes off the deep end.

I just want to know the truth about some things. I felt immense pain when I was young, and could no longer see Greg or Julia anymore. You told me he killed himself, but then all of your later boyfriends seem to be dead, out of the country, or the best thing since sliced bread at different times. There is no truth with you. I don't know whether my dad was a deadbeat or if you pushed him out of my life. I don't know if those tales of him being in prison were ever true. And I lack truth in myself because of it. I lie to get out of trouble. And I hate myself for doing it, but it's all that I know. Here I am even blaming a problem of mine on you, something I hate that you do.

I remember a lot more than you think. I remember when we were homeless for those few weeks. I remember all of the partying you did, hell the first time I ever smoked weed it gave me some weird subconscious flashback. You have always tried and even succeeded at times with being a good friend. But never a good mother. My lack of responsibility in my own independent life reeks of you, and I can only hate myself because of it.

I still love you. I always have, to my own detriment. I trusted you with things you fucked me over on, many times. I want you to understand how you've hurt me in my life. Because I want to be on good grounds with you. But you've only gotten worse with time.

>>18415958
Darrel?!?!

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>>18415958
>>18415979
pls be real

>>18415984
Not real. My name is Ashley.
I'd say something like "he'd never be here hahaha" but truthfully idk who the fuck he is anymore.
If you see this, fuck you Anthony.

I'm a killer
for you
can always make it up to me.

>>18412806
my ex wife just sent me a message after a year and half

it's fucking me up more than i thought it would

I'm so sorry for hurting you the way I did. I deserve all the pain I'm feeling now.
I'd be so happy if you wanted to go out with me again... I'd hug you as hard as I can and I'd never let you go.
A man can dream, right?

>>18415994
haHAAA!! got you to say your name :p
bwhahahahaha
darknessss

>>18416004
Damn it Darrel!?!? shut the fuck up!?!? I'll NEVEr trust you again!?!?!
You're just a fuckboy!??!

>>18416013

Sorry, I'm not Darrell.

>>18416016
That's okay I'm not Abbie

People are at this moment literally deciding the rest of my life.
And it's driving me crazy.

I don't know what I'll do if I fail selection here.
I'm honestly really worried.
I'm only getting through this by drinking and forcing myself not to care when sober.

>>18415994
Sorry Ashley, I"m done, not meaning to use your pain as entertainment, I truly feel your pain.
Just seen an opportunity and couldn't resist. I hope it put a smile on your face

>>18412806
You're not a nice person. You're a dick who's too neurotic to have follow through. It's different.

Pity isn't kindness, either. No one's going to be honest with you because deep down you just aren't worth the effort. Maybe, deep down, you know that. It's this gnawing thing that hangs in your periphery.

You're not nice. You're weak and you're dishonest, not just to others, but to yourself. Maybe you can't stand it. I don't know.

It doesn't matter. Once I'm through with you, you aren't my problem.

>>18415931
I wish people had faith in me. All they do is tell me how wrong I am over literally everything.

>>18416048
That sucks, man

But there are things you can do to make you feel good about yourself.
Try the gym. You'll make progress every time you go. And nothing anyone says can change that

I'm not hurt because you ignored me then and still are now, I'm hurt because you're able to ignore me so easily, it really shows how much I meant to you.

I like to go on /adv/ when I'm drunk and it leads to me feeling embarrassed when I wake up the next morning

be fucking careful who you think you're punching down to, faggot. I think you get the point loser.

>>18416048
Fuck those people! I have faith in you anon, you go and be the best you that you can be!!

It's just fucking YOU!!!!

IT'S HOW YOU ARE!!!

IT'S NOT ME IT'S NOT ANYTHING I CAN CHANGE!

IT! IS! YOU!

STOP JUST FUCKING STOP BEING HOW YOU ARE!!! STOP IT!!!! STOP!!!!!! STOPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

>>18415965
Oh I will, but I'm gauging his interest before I do. He's someone I have to see weekly so I don't want to make things awkward. For now I'll just keep teasing him

I'M IN LOVE WITH OFIR

stupid older married understanding sexy musical genius moody jewish dirtball probably-about-to-go-through-a-midlife-crisis saddest-boy-alive Ofir

stupid because I don't want to know him
maybe it's because he's married and I get it
monogamy is a joke
maybe it's because he told me when i first started working with him something about i was 'playing with his feelings' lolwut
maybe it's because my marriage is a joke
maybe it really wouldn't be any different

i feel so lost

>>18416090
How do you know he's a musical genius?

>>18416033
The pot calling the kettle black. Don't think for one second that you're innocent. I know what you've done, I know who you really are. The facade that you put on has many holes, for I see you, truly. You're too much of a coward to stand up to me, just like the rest of them. Keep hiding behind screens, you're not even an ounce of the man that I am.

Sometimes I feel like you have to convince yourself that you love me. I'm a huge fuckup and won't be surprised when you finally get sick of me.

>>18416128
Initials?

as of right now im trying to make time go by. im extremely depressed and the only thing/person that makes me happy is my bf and spending time with him. my bf right now has an online friend over and is doing lots fun stuff while i dont have any friends or anything to do with my time. i think i have depression because i dont find joy in much anymore and i dont even think video games are fun and i just am waiting to move in with my bf in 2 months. my bf as of right now doesnt text me all day and i havent heard his voice in a while because hes busy and it makes me sad and makes me feel like he doesnt care or something. i dont know how to make myself feel good in this span of time before i go there. as of right now im just trying to finish hs and make money so i can move there. what do i do with myself? i have no friends and i cant drive so im kind of stuck by myself always. i spend most days crying and feeling sad and suicidal for now and i dont know how to end it. my family is kind of shitty and doesnt support me much either. as of right now i havent had an irl conversation with anyone in a bit ive only talked online to some online friends. how do i stop being jealous of him having fun and not being able to talk to me and how do i feel good and spend my time? i dont have much money btw and i dont really have anyone to talk to thats close to me. im scared

Why the fuck am I not worth loving?
Why does everyone do this type of shit to me?
WHhYYy

>>18416137
The favourite quote is from Paradise Lost.
Satan, after being thrown into Hell from Heaven, says "The Mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Hell of Heaven and Heaven from Hell"

You live your life. You choose how to life it. Even if you can't move physically, how you live that life is your choice.
Exercise, cook, read. Live.
Look into public transport.
Your life is yours. Change it.

>>18416138
Because you expect things. Shit people play on that making you think you will get what you expect. Then when they're done they do their shit.

>>18416108

That's just my exaggerated opinion. I listened to some of his orchestra compositions and fell out of my chair/harder for him because we worked together and he never showed us that and it was really good, he did go to school for music anyway. I also just love classical music like some things he wrote/writes

we never even talk

i've been using him as the romantic escape part of my fantasy world i use to cope with th awfulness of my reality

or maybe there's more to it than that and we connected on a deeper level somehow but i'll never know because we're both lolmarried

>>18416133
No way I'm who you think I am.

>>18416167
I don't really expect anything from anyone anymore though.
I'm so beaten the fuck down. There has to be something wrong with me.

>>18416055
Who are u and why should we care

>>18416183
Then how are they fucking with you?

>>18416191
I guess you're right.

Are we throwing names around now? hahahah, let me try.

Christina, I can't help but feel I've met you from waaay back when. I think we even met all the way back since Kindergarten. You were probably one of the kids I pushed over as you were trying to tell me "H-H-HURTING PEOPLE IDS NO GOOD ;_;" when I was trying to free the playground from bullies for my class.

If you were, sorry that I pushed you down. I adored remembering that though.

Honestly, if I weren't such a coward talking to you and you didn't look like you'd gnaw my face off, I'd ask you out somewhere fun. Not for dating's sake, but for hanging out's sake. I've lost my drive to fugg you. Amy's my fuggbox tbqfwy. Her body is the only reason I'm able to keep on trucking.

I digress though, I wish I could hold some sort of reunion with us, and the rest of the class from back then. I've had various encounters from the past since a year before coming to work. Gotta say, it warms my heart to see old faces again.

>>18416128
Some days I do have to convince myself.
It took a long time to see, but we really are just too different. We've been bangin round pegs into square holes from day one. I can't do this anymore.
Forgive me.

my butt hurts

>>18416055
I know this isn't for me, but I ignored you because I have feelings for you. I didn't like ignoring you, trust me, I didn't. I cried every single day.
I just want to be with you, I really, really do. I want you so fucking bad.

I want us to be together, and I want to hang out with your kids. I want to be apart of your family.
You know how much I like you, but I just can't take this anymore.
That's why I ignored you. I hate this.

>>18416227
Next time have him work it in slowwly until there's no resistance. You'll be a lot less sore in the morning

>>18416233
How do I know you like me?
I can't stand ignoring you either.

>>18416055
You have really hurt my feelings. You are always hurting my feelings and are unable to apologize. You dont care about me. Youre upset because Im no longer there whenever you need me. There is nothing left for me to do but to shut down and push you out. Thank yourself.

>>18413269
Lol, you fucking cunt.

Is it me or did all the Mtn Dews have a formula change?
Code Red doesn't taste quite the same.

Go away please why can't I forget you?
Why do I ruminate over the same things every day, how much I adore you and wanted your attention and also how you ignored me for your phone, your other friends, what the fuck ever. I don't care that you're older and married. You remind me of my ex, the "one that got away" except I ran him into the ground until there was nothing left of him, six years later he's all alone still playing guitar in a house his parents signed off on and tugging it to asian teens. But you're older, healthier, happier, share my music and food taste, innocent, socially respectful... distant and moody. I want to make you bad, make your heart race like you make mine. I want to make you confused and lost and rip your heart out nails deep sweat with each breathe in breathe out kind of lost. Don't even look at me if we meet again. I will be acutely aware of your presence and hate myself for being unable to suppress it, make eye contact and say something stupid. Or eyefuck and creep you out. Just stay away. It can't happen. I love you to death.

a customer at work called me cute while i was scanning her stuff and it made me angery

i don't know why

well shes still thinking about me and displays interest.

Im just still hung up on some shit. like I found that used condom in her apartment last week that really fucking hurt and shes been blowing me off whenever I try to make plans.

I don't know man, I don't fucking know.

she wants that emotional stability and someone to turn to (me) but that good dick from random hookups is also what she yearns for and I want off this ride.

shes also bisexual, she got dinner with one of her ex's who was a girl tonight and declined to pursue which is interesting.

I know shes back on tinder/bumble, I know shes fucking other guys, but I just want a clear answer.

and I feel bad for downloading the dating apps again but this is only fair game right?

I want to die, I want to die, I want to die, but I'm still fucking, here.

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I'm 27 years old
When I was a young teen
I had hopes for the way the world would turn out
It's been 15 years since

We're all going to die on this fucking planet
There will be no interplanetary colonies
No space stations

Space was a fucking fad.
And we all suffer for it

Why is windows 10 and google captcha such shit?

>>18416137
Rene?

>>18416378
Because you're the product

Your question is like the ox asking why the plough is such shit

Holy shit do I need strength for tomorrow.

Hope all goes well.

Any of you people here
Go to the gym
Especially men but not excluding women

Lifting weights feels sooooo good

>>18416385
https://31.media.tumblr.com/81333094b16b087f3d51b2ab85147d27/tumblr_inline_ndqnv8nsoU1ryskiz.gif

>>18416391
You got it my nigger

What are you up against?

I think I figured it out somewhat.

shes bi and really into girls as much as shes into guys like myself, shes been hanging with a good friend of hers that's a girl who is also bisexual, so shes torn between going one way or the other.

both of us can eat pussy real good so like why not both lol

>>18416398
Not really but I exercise anyways and deal with feeling like I want to die the whole time

>>18416420
Cardio always feels like shit until you like feeling like shit and then it feels good again.

Weights is better. It's the whole "shit to good" feeling shortened to under a minute

Do it

I'm a sad cunt

>>18416398
not me but I spent my day blazing up the side of a mountain to find a lake with fresh snow and cool views and that's good shit as well.

I know its hard for some of you and I get it but being outside really does wonders, fuck just anything to get your mind away from the self-hate/deprication.

>>18416425
>under a minute
Yeah never had that happen to me. How do you go about enjoying feeling like shit?

>>18416431
Totally agree

When I was a young man, my dad told me "Find one thing a day you find beautiful"

And that is the fucking truth when it comes to living a good life
Just one thing a day.
A tree. A cloud. The sun shining

Anything.
Just find something to look at think "Yeah, that's ok"

Oh boy, I can't wait to see my friend at Anime Expo and have his stupid jealous girlfriend give me attitude for just existing. His fucking wig wearing skinny-ass bitch who looks like a prostitute and acts like a whiny little kid. ME AND HIM HAVE NOTHING. HE'S NOT EVEN MY TYPE AND PROBABLY HAS AUTISM. We have history, yes, but that was legit like 8 YEARS AGO. 8 YEARS AGO, BITCH. YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM BACK THEN. You being insecure about yourself and your relationship is NOT MY FAULT. I have never hit on a guy who's taken and I would never encourage cheating. That's just not who I am. But you won't give me the benefit of the doubt, will you? You just sit around acting like a jealous bitch. If you knew me you'd realize that I'm a threat to nobody. I'm a chubby little loser who's a NEET and has no future. The FUCK are you so afraid of?

I hope my friend dumps you because you deserve to be alone. You're lucky he's beta af and is too nice for his own good because otherwise you'd be single. Like fuck you bitch, you're a piece of shit.

>>18416435
>How do you go about enjoying feeling like shit?
For cardio?
Keep going and imagine stopping
Stopping feels like cumming after a long enough run

But for weight lifting, finishing a set that you gave your all on feels amazing. You feel like going again right after.

Lift weights. I'm not talking pussy ass machines. Compound lifts. Do them and feel it

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>>18416385

>>18416441
Idk dude, all the types of exercises I've tried just leave me feeling pissed off and in a bad mood. Cardio's the worst about that though

>>18416437
yeah insecurities make people do the dumbest shit.

>>18416447
Yeah cardio is the worst

But deadlifts man. Deadlifts.

They keep me going. It just feels so good

The others not so much, but they still feel 10/10 when I'm done.
My favourite feeling is after a squat day and my legs feel like shit.
That means I did hard work.

But diddlies are the best. I can DL twice my body weight. That feels amazing

>>18416457
So it's not that you suddenly stop feeling like shit, you just put a positive spin on feeling like shit?

HOly fuckfarts! I feel like such a damn newb, been so damn long since I've really spent time online rrrrr I have GOT to look up how to hyperlink again.... rknfrgn jrgnsht

Mom, dad, I'm sorry I still have to live with you. I know how much you hate it, and I hate it too. I'm trying my best, and I'm sorry I'm a failure of a son.

>>18416462
Basically yes. Its a different type of shit (a good shit) that makes all the other shit less shitty.

>>18416453
i hate you you used me, any kind of happiness you find a way to shit on it. are you that fucked up. isnt it enough to be observed and treated like shit for doing nothing wrong. i have half a mind to tear up the taps and cameras i might be stupid but i know enough to say fuck you im not scared fuck you you arrogant asshole trying to ruin my life over shit i never did get a life do your job leave my personal life alone you pieces of shit

>>18416462
Hmm... Yes? And no

It's about degrees. When you're all out, you feel like dying.
But you extend that "just before feeling bad" feeling for a while.

During lifting, only your last set is the dying one.
And when you're done, you feel like conquering the world.
That's the feeling Arnold talks about in Pumping Iron
"Ah feel like cumming. Cumming aaaahl the time"

For cardio, it's the same. You extend the pre"death" feeling for whole minutes

Lift weights though. Cardio is really hard to break into (but worth it)
But lifting starts slow and keeps on building.
At worst, you feel 10 seconds of shit while you do the lift
Then the rest of the recover is total awe on what you did

>>18416453
Tell me about it.

I mean those two have been together for like 5 years or some shit. Just 5 years of suffering. And every time I talk to my friend he's just like "we got into a fight again.."
Like jesus, leave her dude. I don't wanna meddle and I mean every couple is different behind closed doors, but I don't think any one should restrict who their partner hangs out with unless they have a very good reason. If it's out of jealousy, or as she phrased it, "morals", then you'd best take a look at yourself instead of the people around you. I've been friends with him since I was 15. How dare she try to ruin that with her bullshit.

How do I make my girlfriends boyfriend suck my boyfriends dick without making my side chick jealous? They're twins, so she'll know.

>>18416480
why me ive done nothing bad you put cameras on me like a fucking pet and got everyone else. i told the truth fuck theninvestigation leave me alone youvebdone more harm than good' so many covers blown is it worth it all

>>18416182
Wanna find out?

>>18416480
Oh god please do, hell tell me where they are I'll tear them up!. I'm tiered of people bringing up weird shit I say to myself when I'm alone, it's kinda annoying.

>>18416499
like it fucking matters now. minding my own business gets me shit trying hard gets me shit taking a shit gets me watched what is this bullshit.

I WANT TO DRINK FROM A PAIR OF GORGEOUS, HUGE, LACTATING TITS GODDAMN IT.

I WANT TO DRINK FROM SUCH TITS WHILE I RIDE THAT WOMAN LIKE A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE.

IS THIS WISH SO HARD TO GRANT, GOD? I'M TRYING TO IMPROVE MYSELF ONLY TO GET SHIT ON BY LITERALLY EVERYONE AT WORK AND HOME. STOP MAKING ME FEEL MISERY. LET MY DAYS BE PEACEFUL AND THIRST QUENCHING.

>>18416486
Totally agree, you shouldn't feel the need to control your lover, maybe a little if they have horrible judgment like going to bad parties or getting rides from strangers while drunk, or some bad addiction, but that should be more "let me come with you", not "you can't go"

>>18416505
You know what you have to do

>>18412806
>20 years old
>dropped out of college because weak willed and unmotivated
>dad swears me off because of this
>lies to family saying I'm a heroin addict and other horrid shit
>rest of his side of family swears me off
>moved back with mom
>got a job with a moving company
>worked with then for a year, spent this time trying to figure out what to do with my life
>realize I fucked up big time not finishing college
>have no idea what steps to take to get back in, how I would go about getting more loans to go back etc. and no one on my moms side is educated enough to help
>college I flunked out of said I am able to reapply this year, but if accepted would have to do an interview about why this time will be different
>worried about doing all this only to fail again and further prove I'm the disappointment of the family
Shits rough, though I have only myself to blame. All I want now is to be able to get a good paying job so I can get out on my own and finally start living and enjoying life instead of being a burden on my poor family. but every time I sit down and decide to try and formulate how I'm going to get back into uni, I get overwhelmed by the thoughts of my past experience, but every day that goes by I feel as if I'm drifting farther and farther away from the opportunity and chance to return to uni and make something of myself.

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I started treating my ADHD with zinc, it's been alittle over a week and I already feel different.I feel like my mind is in one place all the time now instead of it being divided and clouded,however I still cant find something to stimulate drive so I have to find something to reinfoce/ help the neurotransmitters in my brain to stimulant it,maybe one of the B vitamins(I suspect B6or 3) or minerals(Iron,magnesium,iron,calcium).no way am I going on prescription drugs fuck that.

Any way the zinc help with my mind as help as my balls, that right I producing a shit tone of semen and If I didn't jack off one a night I probably have blueballs. I also haven't felt constipation so the intestinal benefit are showing probably from bacteria or hydration in my intestines .I ask my cousin to try zinc for his IBS to confirm a worse intestinal illness or condition but he hasn't gotten back to me,if it works I think I found the magic bullet for intestinal problems that have been running in my family for awhile.

J,
I love you so much and I'm so ridiculously hung up on you. I know I left because I wasnt ready, but if I can get my shit together, get the right job experience, save up, and wise up, I'll gladly go back to you and we'll live by ourselves. I don't care if your joints get worse. I don't care if you can't work. If I can provide for both of us, then I'll be ready. This all might just be my surge of emotions but I just really really love you and you haven't lost me.
-A

>>18416605
sleep is better too

>>18416653
Kek. Doing the same thing I do every time I see a 'To J, from A'.

>This isn't me. Don't get your hopes up, ya fat sack of shit. I'm very happy with T.

My father is God and he doesn't love me. So what else is there?

Part of me wants to cry and beg for forgiveness. Another part of me doesn't want to give him the satisfaction.

>there have been no (you)s since several days ago
what the fuck is with these threads lately.

A,

How can you say you love someone if you don't even love yourself?

T

To you,

I am 32 years old. I am 32 years old, and my love life hasn't changed. I used to think that you exist. I used to think that the love that exists in movies exists somewhere for everybody. But I was wrong. So incredibly wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong.

How could anyone love me? How can you exist? 32 years. At least 16 of those years I've waited and wandered. 16 more will I have to wait? Maybe forever? Maybe never... because you don't exist.

I tried. I really, REALLY tried, hoping, watching, waiting for you. But you're not real. In the end that deep, dark fear inside me is the only thing that's real. We're all monsters. We're all cruel to each other. Charity is simply a disguise for someone trying to ease a sense of unseen guilt.

I have no love now. I am not the hero of my story, and my story? It has been and will always be a tragedy. Nothing can save me from the hell I'm in.

Except for me. There never was anyone else. It's entirely up to me. I have to be the one I think I deserve.

So... fuck you. Fuck you for ever making me think you were there waiting for me. Fuck you for giving me false hope. Is the Devil truly evil? Is God truly evil? No... LOVE is what's truly evil. You created a despair in me so deep I'll never truly be normal. Never truly be sane ever again. All I have is this despair that creates an emptiness inside me that can only ever be filled by rage.

Fuck you. Fuck you. A thousand times fuck you. You never knew me, and you've lost your chance. I choose despair. I choose myself.

I will let this world burn before I ever let you hurt me again by your absence.

If you ever did exist... if you ever cared about me at all... If you're more than a concept of my imagination... Honestly... Go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,
S

I like how people are just so taken back when I get angry. Literally everyone I have ever talked to is lying to me, fucking with me, or just being an asshole to me.

I just want to punch them in their stupid faces. Given the situation, If I did that it would be understandable.

Yall dick shits are lucky I'm the nicest person in the world.

>>18416809
You can't, you just kill the one you love very slowly.

Alcohol shuts my brain up. The only thing after all these years that does that 100% as well as allow me to actually feel true empathy for my fellow man. Otherwise I'm scanning everything, dissecting the very socks I wear, observing rather than truly interacting and I curl and thrash in my bed.

The people that know me would call me a good man should I die tomorrow. I help, I assist, I give more than what most would, but it's not because I feel I should but because I'm interested to see the result. I don't know what the fuck I am. At least the drink brings me back into the dirt.

>>18416711

Light your own fire and move forward. Love and life is fleeting, but you can make your mark. The openness of this decision scares everyone. This is our gift, reality and decision.

remember when they were saying "It's going to be ok."

Yeah, they don't say that anymore.

Wonder what's changed.

I haven no fucking clue what's going on at-fucking-all.

I've wanted to die for years but I'm too pussy to do it.

I don't know what I'm living for anymore.

So it's a shitty situation

Today this friend I have found out about emails sent to her boyfriend from one of those fucking FWB sites

She always put him on a pedestal, she's been with him for years and now she finds this

So he says that it was some prank from a friend but she ain't trusting it

Things be fucked and I don't have any advice to help

I think the duloxetine has finally lobotomized me, I'm not feeling as down as I always do. I kind of like it, but I haven't been able to cum from jerking off in a week so I'm slightly concerned about that.

I like fat girls, and each time I start a relationship with a girl, I start thinking how I could make her gain enough weight to be the perfect size for me.

Text me, text me, text me please

>>18417382
why dont you go for girls that are fat to begin with

>>18412806
i have been wanting to kill my class for a year now
it's all fuckwits who think they're funny by being loud

i almost killed myself tonight, i couldn't find the belt.

>>18413106
good job, man.
i have a "friend" who recently told the ENTIRE SCHOOL that i masturbate to hentai
good luck, man.

>>18417411
Because I like only one way of being fat for a girl, and fat girls are not common where I live.

>>18416605
How much zinc do you take, are 25mg pills okay?

You had to ask your dad for help debating me? Laaame! I'm still confident in what I think, though I guess your way could work as well. But you lost attractiveness points for this!

>>18412806
I want love again.

>>18417613
No, seriously, wtf? And now I have to argue with your father. Which I would much rather not. Thanks. Dumbass.

FUCKITY fuck fuck. I just want to listen to you talk and I just want to find out more about you. I want to hear your laugh and study every inch of your face.

Stupid fucking crush. I wonder how long would it take for me to get past this one

Why in the world am I still on okcupid? Almost nobody bothers to respond (because I'm one among a thousand, probably). I think I'd have a better chance for conversation, let alone a reply, going to a bar and saying "want sum fuk".

I shouldn't drop out of the dating scene (such as it is), but it sure seems like there's no reason to message a woman on okcupid: I'm "average", so she doesn't even read my profile.

>>18414647
Luckily she lives on the other side of the states so I can just make some excuse and log off to avoid her for a bit.

She has like no friends irl because they all got sick of her like I did and now actively avoid her. I feel really bad for her but it's her own fault. What am I supposed to do? She wants me to move over there and I haven't got the heart to tell her that if I moved there I would just eventually hate her and not want anything to do with her.

At least she has a loving fiancee and a dog and her online gaming friends, I guess. I guess some people can't be helped?

I don't want to wake up thinking about you anymore. can this stop please? the clusterfuck that this was is fucking ridiculous.

also I'm pretty sure my IP reset to one that is currently being attacked. so that's good.

>>18415984
Seriously looser, get a life.