How to find a path in life?

I know these are part of depression but I start off happy and then things build up and I just can't handle it.

Today I took off work cause I was just horribly depressed as well as having a really bad issue with my leg. And I got yelled at that by my boss.

Like sometimes I try so hard for my job doing the work of 3 or 4 people. But other days I just want to lay down and die.

>>18412600
>>18412623
Only real reason I cant yet kill myself is cause I live with my parents and they are on a trip and if I do it the cats will either starve or eat my body.

>>18412650
Well heres my last reply. Im gonna end it all the day when they are on their way back.

Of course you give up, what you're doing is unsustainable. You can't change your life in one fell swoop. Start slow. Expect a slow progression and be patient. Things will improve, but it will have to be a gradual change. That's the only kind that lasts. Don't be afraid to try things that may not work. Be willing to occasionally fail. Don't judge yourself so harshly, treat yourself like you would a good friend. Be supportive. Be positive. It takes a long time to change old habits and destructive thoughts, but it can be done.

>>18412847
What do I improve though? what do i try? I do not know where to start.

>>18412851
You've got to change your thinking first. Work on not judging yourself so harshly. Think of something small you could do to make you feel better about yourself. Volunteering your time somewhere or reading a list of important books. If you want to work on your appearance a bit, take a leisurely daily walk and just enjoy the scenery.