Gf dumped me because I was "sad"

>>18411473
she sounds like a bitch good riddance op

>>18411473
She was a horrid specimen of humanity. You didn't deserve what that bitch did.

She cheated and spat it back in your face. Clearly she was never any good to begin with.

First, throw away any and all notions of getting back together. It won't happen. And even if it did all she did was hurt you and she'd do it again because she's a heartless cunt.

Second, heal. Mourn. Lick your wounds. Do whatever you want to make yourself feel better. Bury yourself in work or your favorite hobby for a while. This could take ages. Afterwards, try and find someone else. Nothing heals pain like a loving relationship imo. Just... Well get smarter about your choices next time my dude.

Women are narcissistic, cowardly whores. All of them are like this sorry OP

>>18411529
Lololol asshurt much? No they aren't dude. Like 50% but not all.

>>18411533
You're in for a rude awakening then that's all I can say LOL

>>18411473
Here's a protip. Don't ever, ever show your weakness to your gf/wife. She's not your mom, she's not your family.
If you wanna show your insecurities, do it to a person that can fuck you off (like a friend or so)

>>18411473

what was your loss?

>>18411536
I've been cheated on multiple times I'm not an idiot. I just know that someones DNA doesnt make them a shit person. Go back to /r9k/.

dont help her. all that shit is happening to her because of karma. Let nature run its course. Karma will kill her eventually

>>18411473

I mean theres so many mistakes you made here. not that you are to blame or at fault, but honestly you chose to invest horribly and I Feel no pity as a result.

>talked to me about depression, suicide, sexual abuse, drank, smoked partied, and abused everything she had

what made you think you would be the exception to all this? like she was already a horrible person not like a mean person per se, but a train wreck and sure you can say 'we shouldnt blame people for being sexually abused' but we can blame people for how they deal with it, i mean yoiu arent obligated to date someone who is clearly not equipped to deal with emotional issues.

>asked her for some space

did you define what space meant? cuz when most people say 'i need space' what they are saying is 'were breaking up'. its a big cliche, and maybe you just didn't realize it, but when someone says 'i need space' it always ends with them needing that space for the indefinite future.

but this is assuming you didn't say much more than that. if you can define the time and rules people tend to take it better like 'i just need two weeks to work on some stuff, but I'll see you on june 29th, okay?' is a good example.

was your depression random? what was your 'loss'?

all in all it sounds like you made a lot of bad choices to get here. dont get me wrong it sucks, but you should wake up and realize that the real tragedy here is how deluded you were.

>>18411473

>GF dumped me because i was "sad"

no, she dumped you because you said "i need space" which is almost always code for "i want to break up"

I didn't literally say that I needed space. We talked one night and I came to see her because I could feel myself crashing down. I told her that I tended to close up when overwhelmed and that it was a part of me that I didn't like. That I was struggling with personal issues and it had nothing to do with her. This is what happened and she seemed to care a lot, to the point of telling me that I didn't have to worry and she'd be there for me. Three weeks later I found out that she'd been seeing another guy for the past month and a half. I could have been a lot better about constantly updating her about my situation, but the fact that she had been seeing someone else while with me is what hurt me. I have no qualms taking responsibility for my actions, but I did the best I could to communicate with her my change in demeanor and she seemingly took it in stride. What she did was basically cheating and it's sent me into a spiral that I struggle to keep standing in. And my loss was ironically enough, cheating on my own family and a violent divorce.

>>18411549
I was deluded, that's what I've been telling myself. I thought that my "love" was enough for her, but she's had plenty of boyfriends so how could I had thought that? Guess I got full of myself. And I didn't reject her because everyone has problems and I didn't think that hers were so bad. Who am I to judge, right? And I never gave her a specific time frame, but I did give her early valentines chocolates and stuff throughout the first week. She never responded in kind at all.

>>18411510
I know this may seem like a stupid question. But what about her should I have seen as "not worth the investment" with? Because she's dating someone else now for months and clearly he's investing in her.

>>18411597
That's a hard question. You can't really tell until all is said and done. Its easy as fuck to say after the fact what went wrong but beforehand you're kinda blind.

>>18411589

wed still need to know your actual words to know if you self sabotaged anon.

>>18411597

>what about her should I have seen that she is not worth the investment
>This is a girl who talked to me about depression, suicide, sexual abuse, drank her problems away, smoked, partied constantly and abused everything she had.

this is not healthy human behavior. if they need to talk to you with any sort of regularity about depression and suicide and are abusing 'everything' they have then those are signs you should not invest in that person because you are expendable to their ego.

>>18411738
I can't remember my exact words, this was months ago. I was in a serious rut and know that I tend to close up at times. That's why I went to see her, and she's the one who asked me what was wrong after I saw that she was sad and asked her why. So everything seemed fine and she swore her love to me after that. I felt very secure and that she understood, then found out she was seeing someone else and had been talking to him at the same time as me. She was my friend before anything else. I don't know why she did that to this day. If you love someone, do you drop them when you know they're in pain?

>>18411742
I thought she talked to me about those things because she wanted help getting through them. Not to get me to open up emotionally to her and then walk away when I needed her. I feel so abandoned and useless. Some days I blame myself, others her, others I say it was just bad timing...but whenever she called me for help, I went to her...why when I asked for help once, didn't she help me?

>>18411791

>I thought she talked to me about those things because she wanted help getting through them

she did, at least as far as she knew, but the reality of the situation is most people arent on a path of fixing them selves they are just swimming in a circle on purpose, not doing anythign to get out of the cycle and constantly whining and complaining about their issues instead of moving towards a better life.

our depression makes us special in our own minds, it makes us this tragic character, someone who could be handed the perfect life and we can stll say 'im not happy' and to us that makes us more important than other people, like god cursed us to be perpetually depressed, forced to live an existence. I've heard people essentially claim they have it worse than all the actually suffering people in the world because 'if those people had my life they'd love it... but I can't im broken'.

so most people dont REALLY want help. regardless, even if she did really want to fix her self, until shes fixed its still a stupid investment. anyone who REGULARLY complains about depression and suicide has already decided that they dont care about other people at all. they are now the most important person and need to be taken care of.

look at their art and you'll see it to be true. they believe the entire world should cater to them because of how they 'feel' instead of working through how they feel to be a part of the world. i had a friend who wrote a play about his depression recently and everyone just fucking catered to him in the play the entire time and he only achieved happiness in the end by everyone just giving in and giving him what he wanted.

pathetic.

>>18411786
>If you love someone, do you drop them when you know they're in pain?

>This is a girl who talked to me about depression, suicide, sexual abuse, drank her problems away, smoked, partied constantly and abused everything she had.
>abused everything she had.

You're learning the hard lesson that people are included in that statement. She cannot care properly in a relationship. She can only abuse other people, like she abuses herself.

I just want to cry guys. But I keep telling myself that she's not worth the tears. I don't even know how to let it go emotionally and it's fucking killing me. I feel like such an idiot.

>>18411855

go ahead and cry. its not like /not/ crying is going to help or make you feel better. so let out your emotions. be sad you left. be sad the illusion wasn't real. be sad that you made some bad choices. you were hopeful. now you know to be a little more realistic.

go ahead and feel your feels. tears dont bring back the dead but it sure makes their passing go by a little easier.

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>>18411544
>I've been cheated on multiple times
>I'm not an idiot

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>>18411924
>blaming me for the behavior of autistic cunts
>pretending this somehow gives you an edge

Whatever happens OP.. DONT GET BACK WITH HER

>>18411815
What do you mean by everyone catered to him in the play and gave him what he wanted? I've been depressed before and it's a terrible place to be, but I never used my depression as an excuse to hurt other people or do shitty things. I withdrew from the world for a good couple of years to work on myself and came back better for it. I guess the withdrawing thing was still a problem though.
>>18411828
Life's lessons are always the hardest, huh? I think maybe my ego is bruised along with my feelings and that's why I struggle with it. >>18411879
Thank you. I just went outside for a walk about an hour ago and being outside with the sun helped my mood a bit. I just couldn't cry though because I'm still angry to be honest. Tears welled up, but I immediately fought them and refused to let it out. I feel like I'm giving her some sense of pleasure(she was horribly mean after the breakup) and I don't know if I'm crying for her, me, or the whole situation.

>>18411473
>>18411510
>>18411529
>>18411855
Maybe I shouldn't ask this but is getting a girlfriend worth it in this day and age ?

It seems like a lot of women have crazy high expectations of men these days.

I honestly don't want to experience a break up with some I care about.

Is it better to find a fuckbuddy instead of a girlfriend ?

>>18412080
I've mulled it over and over in my mind. I know that I'm attracted to her, but the rumors of her being a colossal ho were evidently true. But my biggest concern is the abandonment of her partner when they need her. I have always, always been there for her and in the end she twisted it around to say that she was the one who was sad because I wasn't talking to her as much and she felt lonely. So she went and hooked up with some dude and started dating him. She didn't call and say she was lonely, she didn't text and say she was lonely, she didn't tell any friends of mine, nothing. So I knew she was lying about it and when my suspicions about the emotional cheating and texting the other guy were confirmed; she just became mean and started tearing me down. At best I'd just sleep with her and not think of her as long term material, but that'd be using her and that's not me. I won't do what she did to me. Somewhere out there are women who are nurturing, caring, imperfect...but will give off the warmth that I give and would like back. Someone who I could have children with and not worry that she's going to just drop me when we have problems. Not even once did she take me out on a date or cook for me. I always did everything from her car to her complaints and she always yapped about how awesome I was, but never showed me how awesome I was.

Honestly I know it hurts now I really do cause I'm going through a heartbreak too
But seriously fuck that bitch
Like honestly be glad she's gone
Be sad now smoke and listen to some Hendrix
Then get off your ass and leave her in the dust