Not for everyone

I've had only bad luck in love :(

>>18411216

Same here, a lot depends on your past experiences if any. Just be open someday if you allow it , it will find you at least that's what people usually say.

I don't even think love exists.

>>18411216
I may be a pessimist here, but I don't even know how to feel about love.

Maybe it's just a chemical construct made to ensure the survival of our species?

Maybe it's actually a powerful force that inspires us to be our best selves?

I don't fucking know. Personally, I feel unworthy of love.

>>18411336

I'm not really very open to the idea Tbh

>>18411216
i think it's astrological, desu. no j/k

Whatever the case just be glad you haven't experienced the death of love. I'd take never experiencing love over this any day.

>>18411395

Explain pls

>>18411480
the stars just don't align, anon.

>be me; no trouble getting women if and when the need arises.
>trouble holding onto them
>elderly gentleman "who knows" tells me : fuggedaboutit. score the women, but no hope for marriage. try and be good all the same.

>the fault in my fucking stars.

I'm pretty chill with the prospect to be quite fucking honest with you.

Maybe it isn't for everyone. But the thing is you can't just say it's not for you because it hasn't found you.

Love is a two way thing, and you are part of that. You need to try and find someone and actually put some real effort in. If not then you are just relying on pure lick, and honestly not trying and not showing you care about it is not attractive to anyone potentially looking for love.

you guys should really get a grip.

love isn´t for everyone, no. it´s for mature people. and that´s something everybody can achieve. but just like everything worth having, it takes effort. so you better get to work NOW.

It doesn't exist. Doesn't matter how much effort you put in you'll still get shit on "just because :)"

>>18411485

I'm not really worried about it Tbh. I don't "need" a girl in my life. Not having sex or love isn't going to kill me. I just thought this was an interesting topic.

>>18411501

I've always been told "you'll meet a cute girl when you least expect it". So why should I go out of my way to search for love? That feels fake to me. Like I'd be trying to force it

>>18411216

in the destiny sense, no, but in the compattibility sense, yes.

I am not built for relationships. I hate it. its fun for 3 months then suddenly i get really depressed and I didn't understand why for the longest time. My teen years were littered with frequent unexpected break ups. none of them really made any sense, I just got uncomfortable and sad and would say i need time alone.

afterward I'd be fine. id often still hang out with, kiss, and have sex with my exs, but the actual act of being in a relationship is depressing to me for some reason.

as I got older I just dated less and less and then 4 years ago i said i was going to 'take a break' and I had never been happier. I just don't like it at fucking all.

for other people it might be the inverse, not that they are unloveable per se, but that they have too high a standard. a lot of men act like ONLY hot girls eixst, and grew up on a steady diet of films where the nerd eventually got the girl just by being a 'nice guy'. what they dont realize is that these were largely power fantasy films made by nerds who became writers and wanted to give themselves a happy ending. those who did get married didn't end up marrying the hot cheerleader.

whats interesting is that this has created a very shallow subset of nerds. They insist/believe that as long as they are a nice guy iwth a great personality someone attractive will give them the time of day. its ironic because they get mad at the world for not dating them despite their looks, but refuse to date equally unattractive women.

they also tend to develop an ego about their supposed intelligence thinking it makes them better than everyone else but thats another rant for another thread.

the point im trying to make here is that no, you are not destined to be alone, however you might be pushing yourself towards it. at the end of the day you have to decide what is more important, your standards or your dating life, as the two are often incompatible.

>>18411516
Yeah maybe you will meet a cute girl when you least expect it. Doesn't mean that will happen if you just don't show any interest whatsoever. You don't have to go hard searching talking to every girl in the world. Just put yourself out there.
I didn't think I'md find the love of my life on some random japanese dating website, I didn't try to find anyone seriously, but it happened anyway.
Nobody gets anything by not trying. It's like trying to get a job. You can't just not apply for jobs and expect to just be randomly given one. But if you just send out random applications random letterto companies, one day one might come back to you wanting an interview it's not expected but it is the result of you putting yourself out there.

But maybe it's not for you. It's just how I feel about it and if you want to do you then all power to you. Hell you may even find someone or rather someone might find you. I don't know. But you are limiting yourself by not putting yourself out there.

Good luck whatever you decide to so :)

>>18411535

Perhaps, I just don't foresee any of those things happening

It IS for everyone

I'm so beta that I can't ever see myself in a relationship...or even having sex even though I crave it constantly

>>18412804

I know I could get a girlfriend if I tried. I can comfortably talk to girls, and they enjoy being around me. I just choose to not do anything about it. I have this feeling that I shouldn't do anything

>>18411343
>Maybe it's just a chemical construct made to ensure the survival of our species?

It's this, I'm not trying to be an ass but you literally perceive people differently when you're in love with them and go through withdrawal when they are suddenly removed from your life. A stable relationship is based on other things, sometimes love isn't included at all.

>>18411216
Magical love I don't believe in

I believe in unconditional love though, I believe in platonic love also. I believe above all in companionship, in constructing a relationship with work on both sides. With habit, with normalizing the other person into your life until they become so close to you, you start wondering if you could ever stop laughing together with that person because it's just that.
An honest feeling, a mutual understanding and a declaration of what's become common and mundane in the better sense of the word


Love takes a lot of work. But people believe you have to be with the person you love 24/7.
I only see him twice or thrice a week.
Sometimes not even once and sometimes none at all.
But he loves me.
And I'd give my life for him even if he hurt me.
I know he's the same.


Find a similar person who has the same ideals of love you yourself have.

>>18411216
I can get boyfriends and whatnot but I'm still going to die alone. Emotional connection and intimacy triggers my autism even though I crave them so much I run the opposite way.

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I think everyone deserves to have someone in their life who loves them, but I also believe that if you're in a mental state that forces you to be a huge burden on others, you shouldn't be with someone. If you have something like severe Depression and you refuse to change/meds aren't working/it's too severe, I honestly don't think you should have anyone in your life. It sounds really harsh and I'm only speaking from personal experience, but why would you want to ruin someone's life like that? What kind of a husband/wife would you be? What about a family? Could you raise a child with issues like that?

Now if you have these problems and you're getting better and better every day and it's not so severe, I think it would be ok. But if it's so bad and it doesn't seem like you're making any progress, please for the love of god hold off on dating. At least until you get that shit sorted out.

I might be kinda biased here from a past experience. And no, the mentally unstable one wasn't my ex. It was me. If I never get better, then so be it. I'd rather die alone than drag someone down in the dirt with me again.

That being said I know that people can still get better, but most of the time people don't/constantly fight it their whole lives. But I'm kind of a pessimist here.

>>18413215
vid related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jj3wZVc7nw

>>18413232
Vid related indeed. That song spoke to my soul.

>>18411216
There are so many people in this world who do not get to experience genuine love and respect from their partners. Even people who marry do not experience genuine and selfless love.

I would say that real love is very rare to come by. Most people use each other to meet their needs, this is why a lot of people who have great wives or husbands cheat.

Look at how many people here on 4chan are alone and do not find love. I think having a loveless life is much more common than the alternative.

>>18413377
More like people are on 4cha because they are lonely and want to talk with someone. It is not normal. Your life is just broken

>>18411216

well i mean i recently had a girl tell me that she doesnt feel the same way for me so im fucked......i dunno what to say dude

>>18413395
I was not talking about myself at all. I am in a loving and respectful relationship but that seems to be rare.

I made this comment based on my own observations of the people around me in my life and also the people who are online.

I know a lot of married people who do not work to keep their partner happy and satisfied. True love is work to maintain and unfortunately not a lot of people are up to putting hard work into their relationships. Not a lot of selfless people out there and love is only possible with acts of mutual selflessness.

What I am saying is that love is rare even if people find partners to have sex with and cohabitate with. Coupling up does not always involve love.

it is for everyone, however sometimes things go wrong and it becomes difficult to find it

>>18411216
First of all lets break down the essentials

1. Women dont look at you for who you are, but rather for what you have, otherwise lamborghinis woudln't exist, im not being pessemistic, its called reality and you can find plenty of examples in nature that prove this to be factual, such as when male birds build their nest with decorative prescision not because its his hobby but because he wants to attract a mate, because he (like every other life form on earth we share dna with) is afraid of dying alone

Secondly; to answer your question from personal expirience (im a guy btw) and from reading the coments in this thread, every person desires love its just people love differently,
wether its the hot cheerleader that only dates tall guys for their big dicks or the gay dude that loves shoving gerbils up his or someone elses ass,
True love can only be found when you've found someone who loves the same way you do

But hey what do i know, im just a gerbil

Unconditional love should only exist for your own children.

Conditional love should exist for friends, family, or romantic partners.

>>18413455
> conditonal love
> for friends and family

lol

>>18411534
>but refuse to date equally unattractive women.
Wrong.
It's that women always date up, but not down.

>>18413455

What?

>>18411216
It is luck and chemical. You got it.

But luck isnt working the way you think. Ive found for example (and ive done Alright with women even though im kinda awkward) 1 in 10 women ive met to at least the point of acquaintance ive at least made out with.

Ive met a lot of women because ive travelled and done a lot of jobs. 10% out of context seems low. But that means if i went and met 10 women id get somewhere and that isnt hard to do.

Some like you some dont. Some find shyness and awkwardness cute and endearing. Some dont.

Some are ok with ugly, some arent.

I lived across the hall one year from a major autist. I mean like practically retarded, no idea what was appropriate slurred speech.

He had a girlfriend. She was like him.

If you are failing socially at anything at all, you just arent meeting anyone, or you arent meeting anyone in your own channels and circles of interest.

Thats really all there is to it. I mean that honestly. Even in highschool i was 230 pounds ugly and awkward as all fuck. Still had 3 girlfriends throughout. I stayed socially involved. Thats all you do.

>>18414063
What? I see regular looking girls with fugly guys all the time, and fugly guys with pretty girls as well. Not sure where your meme came from.

>>18414107
I see the opposite.
Attractive guys dating some bitch with a double chin.

>>18414111
Yeah, confirmation bias and perception is strange that way...

Part of it is just luck. Some people just don't meet the right person. I go on plenty of dates and pick up plenty of women at bars but it has been years since I've met someone I've wanted to keep seeing after 2-3 dates.

I mean sure some people are willing to settle for what feels good I guess, and if "good" is all you're after then finding someone isn't that hard. But if you're waiting for something that feels "great", it only comes along once every few years and if the circumstances aren't great then it can still fall apart even if the chemistry is.

I'm 27 and I'm lonely as fuck, but I'd rather be lonely while waiting for "great" than settle for "good" just to have someone now.

>>18414118
>waiting for great

Thats kind of part of your issue. Great doesnt come from seeing a hot girl with qualities you think you like, or any and whichever variation you're looking for, In fact thats a great way to land in a dysfunctional relationship.

Great comes from the bond you form overtime and how your personalities play out together. You cannot pick a winner just on perception.

Especially because people become retarded in new love situations. You think theyre the most amazing human being alive, you can read a frickin phonebook together and its magical, and mostly you filled to the brim with cognitive dissonance from all the new love chemicals and therefore ignoring every red flag or flaw in the other that would show you it simply will not work.


Its never settling if it works. But you need to get in there to even find out if it works.

>>18414111
>double chin
...Where the fuck do you live? Around here there's next to no chubby girls, everyone's fit. I've probably only seen one double-chinner with a boyfriend.

>>18411485
>>18411480
No, that shit don't exist

>>18414118

>I'm 27 and I'm lonely as fuck, but I'd rather be lonely while waiting for "great" than settle for "good" just to have someone now

I agree. I'd rather die alone rather than commit to someone I don't truly want

>>18414133

Not that anon, but one of my friends is the definition of a chad. Super /fit/ and he's just naturally has good physical traits. he's fucked some really hot girls in the past. But the girls he actually dates are definitely below his league

I also feel like that sometimes. Do not get me wrong, I've had gf, very recently I've had the chance to have sex a couple of times with different girls if I wished, but I do not. I tried, but I just can't force myself into it, I can't kiss them while fooling around, I can't have my face close to hers bc it makes me feel uncomfortable even more because it would make me feel emotionally committed to them.

I am myself an excellent friend, I have many good chances with girls, but I feel like I'd be a bad bf, I never disrespect a girl, but the problem is keeping myself close to them, I need my space, a large one, I rarely feel, I'm more about reasoning over feeling, and a lot of people are deeply hurl when I do so, I don't do it to hurt them, although it may sound harsh, it's the bare true, and it's in the long term for the greater good, so I end up Being misunderstood by literally everyone.

>>18411216
I'm pretty sure love is dead and everything is fake these days. every now and again the little spark of hope I've got turns into a flame again but it's always disappointing.

>>18414309

>I am myself an excellent friend, I have many good chances with girls, but I feel like I'd be a bad bf, I never disrespect a girl, but the problem is keeping myself close to them, I need my space, a large one

Are you me? I've never had a girlfriend before. But I have had opportunities. I just always distance myself, because just like you said. My alone time and personal space is extremely important to me. I just don't feel like I could give the emotional and physical closeness that a girl would deserve. I don't even think I could sleep in the same bed as a girl.

>>18414309
I thought I was like this until the first time I had sex. I was so tired of being a virgin I just went with for it with this girl I had a crush on. I said even if I fail I'm just gonna go as far as I can, when I was fucking her from behind while kissing her and rubbing all over her body I felt like I was where I was born to be. It was the most amazingly intimate thing I've ever experienced and I still get hard thinking about it. Since then I've been craving that experience again but I only want it in the boundaries of a committed relationships. I got too attached to the girl and it hurt like a bitch when things ended between us.

>>18414353

Not the anon you replied to, but at least your sex experiences were good.

My first and only time was awful..

>>18414357
It's the only sexual experience I have had and it wasn't that good for her. I don't have anything to compare it to so it's hard for me to say if it was good and neither of us came but for the first time in my life I jumped out of my comfort zone and I made love to her to the best of my ability. If I had a second opportunity I would've been a lot better but unfortunately I never did. That's just how it goes sometimes. The point was it helped me to change the image of myself that I "don't like to be close to people". I love to, and I'm much more affectionate in other situations now too.

>>18414326
We are in the same spot bud, last girl that liked me and went for me I told her I'd hurt her bc I can't give her sweetness, time or atenttion like she deserves, and got mad thinking I was already in a relationship and was toying with her and wasn't being honest,am I supposed to lie??
Have you thought how to deal your situation? About not being able to sleep with a girl? I would not like to leave my space, it is too important to me.

>>18414357
This I want. I need sex to be meaningfully in order to enjoy it, i feel I'd only love to do it with someone I have a connection, or I like a lot.i.e, my one and only ex gf, i really appreciate her since we are always traveling together to other cities, islands, historic places in vacations or large weekends, it would feel amazing with her. I'm happy for you anon, I wish you can have more of it.

It's hard until you break the glass, but you only learn by experience

>>18414458
Meant to answer to >>18414353

>>18414458

>Have you thought how to deal your situation? About not being able to sleep with a girl? I would not like to leave my space, it is too important to me

Honestly, I'm just accepting I'm going to be alone. I'm pretty much mostly accepted that fact, and I'm ok with it. But the only thing that makes it difficult sometimes is the fact I'm a healthy male, so naturally I think about girls a lot. Which can make it a pain in the ass. But oh well

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>>18413215
So what, are depressed folks supposed to do, just kill ourselves?

I'm not sure what your depression was like, but I have Persistent Depressive Disorder with major depressive episodes. What that means is that, for at least majority of the time, I'm mildly to moderately depressed; when it gets really bad, I can't feel emotions strongly besides sadness and anger, I'm constantly tired and in mild physical pain, and I have very little energy for faking normalcy. I work and go to college part-time, I read, I make music(albeit rarely), I go to the movies, that's where my energy usually go.

I've spent most of my life isolated from my peers and it has taken a mental toll on me. I have no control over my mood changes, so I have no idea when an episode is coming, but I wish I did. I'm not looking for anyone to make me "happy" or to "fix me", I just want some companionship. Is that really too much to ask?

>>18415019

We are your friends, anon :^)