Message after being ghosted

If you already agreed to meet up, then go for it. But some advice for the next time this happens in your life, is to never take back someone who ghosted you. It shows extreme lack of respect towards you as well as being a major character flaw in that they choose the pain of others over their own discomfort when it comes to conflict. Honestly no matter what you guys talk about, I myself would go in knowing I wouldn't take her back, but if you choose to do so, know that she 99% will do this again to you. This is personal experience talking, where I was head over heels about this one chick I was dating, who ghosted me one day and refused to even let me know why she did it, let alone said goodbye to me. Turns out, she was and still is a huge piece of shit that makes bad decision after bad decision. Learn from my mistakes anon, don't give this chick or any other chick like this a second chance.

Sounds like she's a weirdo that just randomly decided to stop talking to you, and for whatever reason wanted to reach out to you again with a whole slew of reasons meant to excuse her behavior. Look at her opening "you might not want to even hear from me". She knows what she did hurt you, and then follows with a laundry list of reasons that she did it.

However...everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes people go through weird things and lose touch. I'd give her a second chance. I wouldn't bring up how much it upset you. Just meet her and let her know how it's good to hear from her again.

>>18409870
Pretty well summed up.

She vanished. Suddenly has shown up with 100 excuses. In my opinion it would have been better if she just said

"Hey so sorry it hasn't been the best couple of months. I would love to have a catch up if you're up for it?"

>>18409844
If all of her troubles are legitimate (not made up) then it's understandable that she may have needed some space. the mature thing to do would have been to let you know that she had a lot going on and wasn't available, but that's a difficult thing to say, and would have been hard for you to understand as well.

The mental health thing is worrisome, if her method of dealing with stress is to turn inward and cut contact, that bodes poorly for for your potential future together.

I agree with all of what >>18409870 has said, I would be very careful in rebuilding any type of relationship with her.

Be kind and be empathetic, but don't let her drag you down

She's looking for you to take pity on her. Don't. Pity is one of the most disgusting forms of treatment even if she's believing it will be effective.

Thank you, anons. You've all been so helpful.

Trust has been severely damaged, and I have to lean towards expecting more behaviour like this in the future should I put myself in the position to trust her in any deeper capacity again.

I do care for her and want to meet to see for myself the extent of what's been going on. As it happens, I'm leaving town to go back home for a few weeks, so I'll have plenty of time to consider if I even want to be friends with someone who would so easily do this to me.

No matter what, though, I don't have any interest in a romantic relationship with her. I never really felt right about it before and I certainly don't know.

>>18409844
Sounds legitimate to me, just meet with her, it should be pretty obvious from her behavior to deduce whether she's reliable or not.

>>18409931
One last thing I can say that may or may not help, is to actually try to find out why she ended things. Nobody in their right mind would ghost someone for any reason if they truly cared about much, especially if they cared about them in the sense of wanting to be in a relationship with them. There's almost always a secret reason why they did what they did. Maybe you don't need any closure from this, maybe you do, but if this situation is anything like mine, she is definitely not telling you the truth as to why she left you, especially the way she did. I wish you the best of luck with this, just something to keep in mind when you talk to her.

>>18409959
Thanks again, anon. I plan to find out.

I am very suspicious of her reason(s) for cutting contact. I can't shake the idea that she has found someone else--it's the easiest way to forget about someone with whom you had any relationship. I don't care if she has, but I hate being lied to. I just want to be treated with respect and told the truth.

>>18409959
I would personally say about this though is that you most likely will not get what you want from your pursuit of such knowledge and if you did find out the entire truth it will probably be so non-gratifying you'd wished you never tried.

Closure has to come from you, not from her and attempting to gain this though it may help still probably will only make things worse.

She ended it. You've seemingly come to terms to a certain degree about it. Don't allow a wound which is nearly completely healed to be ripped straight back open.

Goddamn I hate that fucking shit. "Nothing can possibly excuse what I did, so here's a list of five to ten excuses." Just own the shitty thing you did, you coward.

>>18409844
>I need something committed or open

translation:
Marry me and support me financially for life or let me fuck chad on the side

>>18410001
A.K.A.

>I won't take any of your shit but expect you to take all of mine

Depression can make you go off grid, I've done it myself and talking to people again can be almost impossible. It would take a lot of effort to come forward and say sorry and try to explain stuff.

BUT the bit about relationships just tastes wrong IMO. Also the bit mentioning the stuff of yours she has.

I'm not saying it's not genuine but idk somthing feels off.

>>18410001
>>18410009
>>18409997

Haha, yup.

I feel content as I am and have taken this time to move on. Whatever her reason is of little consequence--I just want to see if she has the guts to admit it.


>>18410014
Yeah, I agree. Something feels off. At no point does she say anything about still wanting to see me. This all feels like some way of allowing herself to feel less guilty.

I will go. I will listen. I will tell her how shitty what she did was. I will get my stuff and I will ponder based on our meeting whether it's worth even being friends with her.

>>18409844
Did you ever message or call her and say that you were hurting by her actions? Some people(myself included) can at times suffer from that immature way of dealing with lots of stress and close off. Did she mention anything to you beforehand about being stressed or feeling like she was falling off?

just get the clippers and jacket and walk off into the sunset, cowboy

>>18410327
This and don't give her the satisfaction of explaining herself or apologizing. Everything she is doing is about her, not you. She's not apologizing to make you feel better, its all about her, yet again.

>>18410327
>>18410342
"Hey, good to see you again!"
"Yeah. Have you got my jacket and clippers?"
"Yeah, they're both right here in the closet."
"Great."
*grabs jacket and clippers from closet, walks towards exit*
"...Anon, you don't want to stay?"
"Sorry, I've got to go."
*you go home, ghost her, and clip your fucking nasty-ass toenails*
*she feels sorry for herself while texting 3-5 other guys about her problems*
Feminism was a mistake