My ex-gf sent me this letter. I broke up with her but I don't

Holy shit I honsetly cried from reading that.
Why did you break up with her in the first place?
>>18409673

>>18409685
>Holy shit I honsetly cried from reading that.
I thought it started out great, but got really rambly towards the middle.

Anyway OP we're gonna need more context to give you proper advice on this. Why did you guys split up, clearly you had a lot of issues and were fighting. If you got back together with her wouldn't those problems still be there? I think with this sort of thing its important to remind yourself why you broke up in the first place.

why did you break up?

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>>18409692
>>18409693
She had rage issues, and would fly off the handle over the slightest things. I had enough and broke up with her. She eventually texted me and told me she was in a car accident and in the hospital which I found out to be not true.

>>18409697
dont get back with her

>>18409697
Unstable people are generally not to be trusted, but it's your call dude

>>18409697

NO do NOT get back to someone with rage issue. She lied to you about being in a car accident. Dude don't do it. If she can lie about something that serious. What else will she lie about. She is a toxic hea

>>18409697
>>18409673
Avoid like the plague. You'll be happier in the long run and her happiness doesn't depend on you even if she makes out it does.

Also text her saying she typed up the letter. Emphasize it's not written.

>>18409673
>>18409697
Reminds me of my ex, get rid of her.

>>18409697
>>18409673

So lies and guilt-trips because she's always angry? Sounds like you dating a real winner, OP.

>>18409697
She's fucking crazy. Don't go back, no matter how much it hurts.

>>18409685
>Holy shit I honsetly cried from reading that.
How so? I don't see what's so impactful about it

>>18409739
He's probably referring to the godawful spelling and grammar

>>18409697
So she lied to you about being hospitalised to guilt trip you into coming back to her or at least make you feel bad?

I wouldn't go back, I assure you

>>18409743
That makes sense. How she kept using "too" instead of "to". I understand being distressed, but you should proofread important stuff

>>18409747
Jesus, how fucking long is that letter?

She keeps bringing up things you did wrong and saying that anything she did wrong could have been explained away. When you apologize to someone, it's backwards if you blame it on THEM. If she really wanted you back, she would be saying that she's in therapy, realizes she was a shit bag, and that she want to change.
Instead, she basically says that all of her rage was a misunderstanding and could have been prevented if you just did something different. That's awful. You deserve better.
This doesn't come from a place of virgin jealousy rage- I'm a femanon in a LTR.

Stay away from her. She will suck the life out of you.

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>>18409762
Last one

>>18409697
>When you were about to kill me
Hmm, what's this?

>>18409747
>>18409697
>>18409673

She's writing an academic paper for something which can be summed up in two sentences.
>"I miss you, I still have feelings for you, I regret we split up. Do you think there's a chance we can go back to the way things were?"

Lying to you, writing you this heaping pile of shit even if it's sentimental... Alarm bells should be ringing like crazy. You don't owe this woman your life and your sanity even if you ponder the thought that maybe she does deserve your love (Which she doesn't as it doesn't work like that.)

>>18409762

10 pages of

"I did bad things, i'm sorry"
"here's some stuff we used to do that was cute/I liked"
"here's a bunch of stuff I didn't like"
"you did bad stuff too so it's not all on one person"
"my mom doesn't want anybody over but she'll let you come over but she doesn't want to let you over"
"more vague references to things"

>>18409779

>also I messaged my ex
>and I felt like I could do better than you

Why would you put that kind of shit on the last page?

Is she hot? How was the sex?

>>18409784
She obviously can't structure the written word worth shit. She did complete stream of consciousness bullshit. I snorted at her reference to a "paragraph" because she doesn't have a single line break in this 4 page run on sentence.

>>18409784
I have the exact same thought. It wasn't even
>"You're the best person I can think of and the only one I want to be with."
More
>"I don't want to die lonely so take my bullcrap because I don't think anyone else better than you would be willing to."

You know the correct response to her is a certain two words.

>>18409796

>Fuck off
>Hell no
>Go away
>Eat Shit
>Plz No
>Jesus Christ
>... the fuck?
>Blow me

>>18409772
>felt like I could do better than you
I don't even. What is she trying to say? I doubt she meant what she typed

And, Jesus, I felt like I became dumber after reading through all that drivel
How repetitive can one get? How can you write four pages and say so little of importance?

>>18409673
Please don't get back together with her.

>>18409796
I know
>Learn to write

>>18409673

Made me think about all the cringy letters I had sent to my ex. Fuck you, OP, I am dying with guilt.

>>18409673
I remember that thread! Don't fall for it you fucking dumbass!

>>18409836
You live with your sins fag. Feel happy, at least they resembled actual, structured text and not the garbled mess OP got

>>18409673
I personally feel sad for her. Was she unbearable? Try dating her again

OP pls respond

>>18409673
>>18409697
>>18409747
>>18409772

wew fucking lad. she sounds insane so stay the fuck away.

>>18409937
>Was she unbearable? Try dating her again

That's some shit-tier advice dude.

>>18409673
>I want too

stopped reading there

>>18409776
I'm not sure. I think she's refering to when I was sleeping and I squeezed her which happens when I'm asleep.

>>18409937
She was awful. I had anxiety attacks for the first time in my life being with her.

>>18409787
No and it was crap. Won't do blow jobs, and not even a handjob. Just laid there like a starfish.

>>18409769
Yeah, that's what always irked me. She never took responsbility for her blow ups. She always blamed me for saying the wrong things. Actually in this letter she did admit some fault which is the most I've ever gotten from her.

>>18409758
>>18409743
I used to help her with her homework. It was so bad I kind of gave up and just corrected a few typos. This is how she actually does her school papers.

>>18409970

Yeah dude don't go back. She sounds like a nutjob who needs to fix herself and her problems. why are you questioning whether to get back together with her?

some kind of nostalgia?

>the first fucking line has no intention

Your get is fucking stupid move on

>>18409673
>>head over heels

Tell her you'll reconsider when "heels over head"

>>18409697
ANON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOU SHOULDN'T GET BACK WITH THAT LYING PIECE OF SHIT!

well OP we seem to have reached a consensus here

if it was hand written yea
i dont get that head over heals vibe, just alot of explaining and considering you are saying shes not exactly stable ill say no, i dont think this is genuine, more like a hurt ego

Post a pic of her.

OP, exactly why would you want to be back with her?

>>18410715
I feel like she was the only one who would listen to me

>>18410719
I get that you like attention, but this is a toxic kind of attention, that will make you miserable over time and drive you nuts.

>>18409697
She can barely write a legible sentence and has terrible spelling and grammar.
If she has rage issues at you it's a sign of disrespect and a go to behaviour to get your own way to force a person to your will.
Go with your instinct and move on to a balanced, respectful and loving relationship in the future. Don't settle for crazy.

>>18409747
She is a dreadful emotional manipulator. It drops off the pages

She's the exact same person she was. If you get back with her, you will soon be as miserable as you used to be.

>>18409673
>writes at a 5th grade level
>Use emojies in written text
>didnt even put in the effort to hand-write it
nah you made the right decision

Did you give her opportunity to clear up the mix-up before you broke it off? Takes less than a minute. Did you give her a minute to explain? Did you tell her why you wanted to end the relationship? IF any of the answers to these questions is YES then you should not contact her again. If any of the answers is NO then you may want to talk things through with her, and then see where you stand. If you end up having sex within 24 hours of talking it through, then you should stay away from her.

This whole thread is really uncanny. I just broke up with the EXACT same chick, I swear. The exact same problems and family situation.
In fact it's so uncanny we might have dated the same girl. How many letters in her name?

Yeah pull out OP, not your burden to bear.

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>>18409673
>>18409697
>>18409747
>>18409772
This bitch is bananas

>>18412263
> If you end up having sex within 24 hours of talking it through, then you should stay away from her.
This confuses the chad. What do you mean?

>>18409747
>that picture you sent of corgies

OP has a little blame in all of this too.

>>18409673
>I broke up with her but I don't know if I should reconsider.
I haven't even read the letter yet but the answer is definitely NO

>>18409673
Pls don't go back op, she sounds crazy as fuck and you can obviously do better

>>18409673
Lol she doesn't care about you in the SLIGHTEST. That letter is all about her. She is trying, desperately to spin it into her favor.

She seems to feel like a victim. Woe is me. IF ONLY YOU WOULD'VE JUST LISTENED AND BEEN A GOOD BOYFRIEND TO ME.

It's just blatant emotional manipulation. When you get over her completely, you'll look back on this letter and understand. Unless you're this guy >>18409685

Since you have nothing to compare it to, imagine if she wrote you a letter taking responsibility for her behavior. Imagine her feeling bad for the things she's done to you. Instead of framing the whole letter around her mind, she frames it around yours. Imagine no emotional manipulation, instead she just lays out real, raw facts. Describes how she has grown, how she can improve, and why she cherishes you. Not saying that she cherishes you - but actually explains why.

This girl doesn't love you OP. Best wishes for your future.

>>18409697
Yeah, stay broken up. Rage issues and enough crazy to type up all that shit?

Unless you want to die early because of the stress of dealing with her shit.

This sums up what my two LTR ended in, good thread.

Why are most hot women I meet like that? Or is it just most women?

>>18412954
>Why are most hot women I meet like that? Or is it just most women?

Neither, this is what happens to women who grew up in fucked up background(extremely spoiled or abused), most women are fine or not this crazy, you and op have portion of blame for not reading the red flags, they're always there, or maybe just having poor taste on women.

>>18412303
11 letters

>>18412303
Also, what are her initials and where do you live?

>>18409697
You'll get a false rape accusation if you break up with her again. STAY. THE. FUCK. AWAY.

>>18409673
I haven't read the letters, but I would seriously reconsider taking someone back who didn't hand-write their 'lets get back together' letter. Fucking millennials.

Bump, i'm OP's friend. Nice to see the thread still going.

>>18409697
>She had rage issues, and would fly off the handle over the slightest things. I had enough and broke up with her. She eventually texted me and told me she was in a car accident and in the hospital which I found out to be not true

Sounds like a keeper anon. You should drop everything and go chasing after her. She's also got your clothes too, you'll never get those clothes again. She could have sent them with the fucking letter. But no... She wants to keep them and smell them and think of you and obviously you have to go pick them up in person like a good little emotional play thing.

My ex would have hand written this cursive in proper English in blue pen because black pen makes her sad and wax sealed it most likely misting the paper in her scent/parfum. And yes she's call me all the playful names refering to herself as the playful names I would call her.

Your ex went to all the fucking effort of clicking print and sending a letter when she could have just emailed the fucking thing. The only reason she sent it is probably she can deny it later since there's no email/snapchat/facebook proof.

>>18409673
>that grammar

good riddance desu

how fucking old are you two? this sounds like some middle school bullshit

>not hand-written at the very least

you were right to drop her

>>18409970
>I used to help her with her homework. It was so bad I kind of gave up and just corrected a few typos.
This it legit children's spelling, grammar and syntax.

>>18409772
Wow, OP. Fuck her.

How is this even a discussion? He's braindead, move on.

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>>18409673
What are you doing m8? I don't know if you'll listen to reason. It's too easy to imagine yourself some Don Casanova who can just throw people away, but you'll regret it for life if you're lucky. If you're not lucky you'll lose yourself along with her, m8.

You need to embrace and accept her. Look, son, there's a lot of people who don't see relationships as a loving union of souls, they just see sex. You know that's not what it's about, and you can't think of things that simply. You two love each other and need each other and you two should work it out and be happy together because that shit is priceless and you'll never find anything like it because what people do to us is permanent. You don't forget someone without forgetting yourself. Listen to my words and search your heart and you'll know what I tell you is true.

>>18409772
Reach out to her and accept her, man. This is an opportunity for growth for both of you.

>>18414481
>>18414490
Whole thread concludes something else, then you two show up to seed doubt. What's your reasoning with this?

>>18414514
They probably: (1) Are women (2) Know the woman in question (3) in some othet plot.

If 1: There's no such thing as finding a one true love.
If 2: They're selfish assholes who don't consider the man
If 3: They must feel very confident, like knowing human nature, as in they know their words will stick, to try that bs

>>18412637
fucking kek

>>18414539
>>18414539

I'm an old man, guys. I know what it's like being a teen or a 20-something kid, thinking of everyone else as a renewable resource. It's not like that. People change you permanently, and those bonds are irreplaceable.

The advice I have is about living with yourself, not about being the top predator you can be. It's easy to lose sight of the human realities in the middle of this fetish for a perfect ideal partner which is impossible.

Look, I've been there, I know how much easier it is to throw it away, to run away. The advice I have isn't the easy advise. You guys covered that. I'll paraphrase: "Run away" "Ignore her" "Hide", even "Hurt her feelings". Those are all easy and natural. "Forget about her" "reject her" It's the easy way out.

Sometimes the easy way isn't the right way. It rarely is, in fact.

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>>18409673
>horrible grammar
>retarded formatting
>not even any indents
Why did you get with her the first place?

>>18414578
>in the first place
Fuck! Now I look like an idiot.

>>18414563

>You should compromise your own happiness and mental wellbeing and continue dating a manipulative psychotic because hey, people aren't perfect and everyone needs to be loved

I don't care how old you are; that is objectively shitty advice.

>>18414591
You're just making something up to make yourself feel better about rejecting someone. I didn't say anything like that. You don't know this girl anymore than I do, son. Don't kid yourself while you're pretending to be an armchair psychologist who knows the world or whatever fancy you're entertaining here.

The advice I have isn't even for the girl. It's so OP can live with himself and this decision, which will haunt him.

>>18414578
>>18414581
What the fuck does the grammar even matter? Are you people like 12 years old? "Oh, she fails at grammar, that means she's a failure at life and I feel so much better about my own shortcomings now that I've rejected someone's message based on their grammar"

Jesus, That shit is what makes for a lifetime of regret once you wake up and realize you're almost exactly the same as those people you rejected on a whim. Fallible, weak, lonely, wanting to feel pride, wanting to feel welcome and accepted.

She's earnestly asking, and OP would be a fool to not give her another chance. It's a regret I know well and he'll only be able to ignore it for so long before it starts to eat him up with "I could have given us a chance"

>>18414600
>"Forget about her" "reject her" It's the easy way out.
>Sometimes the easy way isn't the right way. It rarely is, in fact.

You're saying it's wrong for OP to move on with his life and forget about this toxic relationship, which, like I said is shitty advice.

I'm not entertaining any fancies. I've read the thread just like you and everyone else and all signs indicate that OP fleeing this girl and never looking back is absolutely the best thing to do.

How the fuck is his decision to leave all that behind going to haunt him? Please, enlighten me

>>18414628
>How the fuck is his decision to leave all that behind going to haunt him? Please, enlighten me

She's asking for another chance, son. Are you saying you're so perfect that you would never need another chance to make things right? Is that so alien, to you?

No. Ignore her, block her, forget her.
One thing that bothered me: She didn't even bother hand writing the letter.

>>18414633
First off, I'm probably as old or older than you, so no need for the condescending "son" bullshit.

Secondly, second chances are warranted under certain circumstances.

For example, if the person FULLY acknowledges the error in their ways and takes FULL responsability for their fuck up (OP's ex has done neither), or if you are sure that they will make a change and not keep behaving the way they did (everything ITT indicates that OP's ex won't change and will continue her bullshit)

So no, you shouldnt give someone a second chance simply because they wrote you a letter and asked nicely.

So fuck off, you're no more of a relationship guru than anyone else here.

It depends OP. Are you just as insane and retarded as her? Then go be with her. If you're a respectable human bean, don't.

>>18414645
Well if you think you're as old as me, you know OP and this girl are just kids and know no real absolutes, yet, and she probably needs him as much as he needs her.

It's immature and the easy way out to run away. It's what tells me you're a lot younger than me. It's EASY to push someone away. Far easier than to give people a chance and try to make things work.

Nothing is perfect, but I've been through enough to know that OP wouldn't have posted this here today if he didn't want to give her another chance.

and dude, if you really think the pinnacle of relationship advice is "throw it away and buy a new one" then, you're probably not even 30.

>>18414652

Not the guy you're arguing with, but -

You'd be right on many levels anon if this girl were just an ordinary lady who made a few mistakes in the heat of the moment and liked OP a lot overall.

It's another when the girl has not only anger issues but has lied about being in a car accident and hospitalized in order to prompt a guilt trip out of OP. When the level of lying starts going into the severe injury territory, pretending that "oh she needs him as much as he needs her" is just happy-go-lucky, unrealistic bullshit. Your advice on this would make more sense if there was a level playing field between these two.

>>18414652

You're acting like giving people 2nd chances is a universal rule of thumb that everyone should follow. You're completely ignoring the context and circumstances of OP's situation.

What's the point in giving someone another chance when everything they've said and done points to them not changing at all?

It's completely retarded to go back to someone with the knowledge that they are going to treat you the same way they did before you broke up.

>>18414671
I'm not telling op to give up his life to be with this girl. I'm saying he should give her a chance. That's all. She deserves a chance.

How many girls today sit down and write a 3 page letter to someone, even if it is typed? I'm an old-ass man and There's been like 2 out of dozens of close relationships that ever did that shit, and that was back when we had typewriters instead of tablet/notebooks.

A chance. I'm not saying commit suicide by psycho-bitch, like you apparently are implying. I'm saying it's ok to give her a chance.

>>18414682

I guess we will have to agree to disagree then. I don't find a letter with a half-assed pseudo-apology (see >>18409970) as a reason that she deserves a 2nd chance. In fact, I think the letter actually proves my point: the fact that she is shirking responsability for her behavior is MORE of a reason that OP shouldn't go back to her, because it proves she has no intention of changing or even trying to change.

I honestly believe she does not even deserve the chance, and I believe OP owes it to himself to cut her out of his life completely and definitively. I think it's clear that if he gave her the chance to, she would still not redeem herself, and OP would end up right back where he was before the breakup. That is to say, miserable and wanting out of a shitty relationship with an abusive and emotionally manipulative partner.

>>18414706
>I think it's clear that if he gave her the chance to, she would still not redeem herself, and OP would end up right back where he was before the breakup

Well maybe you imagine yourself some kind of fortune teller who can read the future with perfect precognition, then? Because you don't know what will happen in her mind or body, today or tomorrow anymore than anyone else.

People change, and not always for the worse. It's ok to give someone a chance. It's ok to be a little vulnerable sometimes.

>>18414713
>Well maybe you imagine yourself some kind of fortune teller who can read the future with perfect precognition, then?

Actually, I imagine myself as someone with deductive reasoning abilities who can learn from past events.

I've already listed the reasons why things will probably turn out the way I said, but for whatever reason you are choosing to ignore all the evidence.

Suit yourself, but it's clear that my assessment of the situation is far superior to yours. OP can decide for himself. Bye

>>18414730
I've been in your shoes before, and I get it. Like I said, rejecting is easy choice. You act like I can't see it. I'm saying it's an illusion of choice. This girl is going to be on OP's mind regardless of what he does and giving her another chance is a healing experience even if it fails.

>>18414740

>Hey OP go back to the crazy bitch whom you've been fighting with. Y'know, the one who ended her letter by saying she's getting into contact with her ex and she's the one who initiated it, the one who lied about being in a car accident. It'll be a healing experience, trust me. It'll be great, even if it fails. Nothing could possibly be any worse from getting back together, right?

I don't understand why you;re so deadset on trying to keep her. It sounds like OP has given her more than her fair share of chances.

>>18409747
Don't let her come close again, you can't expect anything good to happen with someone who writes "should of" around you.

>>18414730

I think that dude just wanted to argue with your for argument's sake, he wasn't paying attention to anything else in the thread - just your opinions.

You millennial kids have some serious perception issues that seem to blind you to some self-evident truths. You think everyone is some kind of resource like an oil well, you can just keep going from one to the next, but that only turns you into the commodity.

People need deeper bonds to survive than the flaccid shit most of you are used to. Your regret and depression and anxiety are a product of your own choices, and this woman may not be the one for OP, but it would be silly and immature not to give her a chance.

>>18414846
>it would be silly and immature not to shoot yourself in the foot just one more time, because maybe, just MAYBE you never know, maybe this time the gunshot wound will actually feel good. You can never know for sure until you try, and if you pass up this opportunity, you will go to your grave never knowing whether blowing your foot off feels good or not.

Boomer logic, folks.

>>18414871
You're not quoting anyone but yourself, you pretentious kid. At least try to argue words to words instead of making up your pathetic strawmen to attack, borne from your personal insecurities.

>>18414846

Just because you're old and single and regret not keeping someone around doesn't mean every woman's a keeper. Just because everyone deserves a second chance doesn't mean there aren't times when breaking up is the only way to get someone to learn that their behavior is toxic and needs to stop.

Please. You're not making a solid case for love, you're just telling two people who dated once that they need to stay together just because you think they should, ignoring all evidence of the behaviors that have already gone on long enough - and anyone who points this out you ignore.

>>18414889
You don't know how to face someone, do you?

All of you are doing the same thing. You create and superimpose a strawman that you've already defeated a million times in your mind because it's what simple and easy.

Your models of the world and the people around you are not reality.

>>18414900

You don't know me, Anon. In the slightest. I'm not making strawmen, I'm using the information provided to me in this thread to make an educated guess on what to do about OP's current situation. His current situation is that he has spent years dating this person whom has explosive anger issues, never takes blame for her problems and pushes them onto other things, has openly lied about being in serious trouble to get pity and attention.

And you're just going to tell someone to go back to that. To give that liar another chance to hurt him. Staying together doesn't make the relationship better. After seeing dozens of families with broken relationships because they stayed together for the kids but are clearly venomous and toxic to each other, I've seen a few of these kinds of situations.

Pretending that people need to forgive everything and that each couple needs to stay together permanently is a sign that you have no idea what you're talking about. Love is important. Communication is important. Trust is crucial. These two already have trust issues, already have communication issues, and I think OP has stuck with her long enough to have a good idea of what kind of a person she is. You can't just stick together and hope that will fix the possibility of cheating, that it will somehow make her no longer a liar. You can't just hope time will repair a bridge when both sides aren't making a conscious effort to work on said bridge.

Your models of the world are laughably naive at best, and just plain foolish at worst. I get what you're saying, but there comes a time and place where love and acceptance won't do it anymore. All you're telling us is that if you believe in Stockholm Syndrome long enough, everything'll be okay.

>>18414900
You are just a butthurt old fart that wasn't given a chance and thinks everyone should do

You are garbage, stop leading people to the wrong way when its crystal clear this woman will do no good to OP

>>18414947
You're literally making strawmen when you paraphrase me as giving some ridiculous advice, fool. Don't kid yourself, honestly. You've got a lot of growing up to do.

>>18414951

>you're literally ignoring everything being said so I can use the word strawman again without actually knowing what that means

Don't kid yourself anon, you're not even fighting back anymore, you're just making baseless comments to hope to rile more people up.

Some of you people are a joke. I don't know how else to put it. No wonder you're all so fucked up. You get your idea of the world out of some fanciful notion that you either pass or fail based on some arbitrary metric, when everyone has good and bad mixed in.

>>18414949
And no, it's the complete opposite. Being rejected is fine, dude, anyone can live with rejection. It's living with the thought that you rejected someone without giving them a chance after they asked for one, that will haunt you.

>>18414954
In case you missed it, it's you who's fighting. It's almost like you want to convince yourself.

My advise has been he same the entire time. Give her a chance. You're the one going through acrobatic bullshit, making up all your literal strawmen about how this woman is satan herself, lol

Literally you guys are too much.

>>18414951
Wow im not even that poster dude but you are just being pathetic now, he's wrong for questioning your advice?

Who do you think you are some kind of deity that can't be wrong? That for the fact you are older you must be right?

You are the only fool here, you refuse to listen to anything people say here just because you think you are smarter and better than the rest which is only what fools do

>>18414846
This is bad advice OP don't listen to this.

>>18414960
No, it haunts YOU stop reflecting your self with your past choices

>>18414964
Nothing but strawmen, dude.

My advice has been the same the entire time. I find it almost impossible to imagine what kind of hangups you people have to think you can reject someone so absolutely.

Your generation is the very return of slash and burn agriculture, except it's slash an burn relationships.

>>18414972
nah dude, you kids don't understand, but you will. Long after you've forgotten what the fuck /adv/ is or what 4chan ever was, you'll feel it, and know it.

Tell you what, man, ask your parents or grandparents what they think about giving her a chance. the idea of giving someone a chance isn't some alien nonsense unless you're an isolated antisocial twerp that gets off on alienating people.

>>18414962
>making stuff up

did you read the thread? everything being said about the girl is information from her letter/anecdotes from her BF.

do you think he's lying? or the letter is fake? or are you just choosing to ignore all of that information altogether?

>>18414976
its simple you cut off the toxic people. you don't stick to someone because "muh relationship" if it is broken. What generation are you from because I doubt you are so high and mighty. right now you just seem bitter

>>18414976
If your ex was a murderer and told you to give her a chance, would you give it?

>>18414979
Please OP doesn't owe her anything or the second chance you think she should have. The relationship is basically unsalvageable at this point and for good reason.

>>18414976

>reject someone so absolutely

>They have been fighting for years
>She has lied about being in a car accident
>She is contact with an ex-boyfriend at the time of writing the letter
>said ex was part of the reason for their trust issues
>She does not take responsibility for her actions
>This giant letter is the first time she's managed to partially accept fault
>spends half the letter blaming OP instead of accepting fault

What kind of hangups do you have to stay with someone like that?

>>18414976

See, the problem here anon is that I'm not a millennial if I was born in '85. I've also gone through a relationship similar to OP's, where the girl blatantly uses you and makes you think that you're the one at fault while they sit back and do nothing to change themselves, but expect you to do 100% of the work in changing and making the relationship work again. Which, in order to do that, means bowing down to their demands. There is no compromise, there is no equality, it's just do what she says because she said it because that's what love means - except when you ask her to do something, then you're not giving enough, and you're expecting too much.

Not all relationships are like that, no. But unfortunately these days a lot of them are. There are a lot of entitled and selfish people - people who will spend every ounce of their efforts on themselves, and then get mad when you're not also contributing to them as well. Like my ex who was poor and constantly need money for little things like groceries and stuff for her son. Which was fine. Then she started to go to college, got student loans, and had thousands of dollars to use through the semester. Which she blew instantly within 2 weeks of school being in session, most of it on a laptop that she ended up breaking.

Should I have stayed with someone who made such poor monetary decisions that we were constantly going into debt so badly that I was borrowing from one of my friends in order to make ends meet? No, and that's why I cut her out of my life. I gave her 3 years. And all that happened was I helped her, and helped her, and helped her, and when it was finally my turn to receive a little help, the relationship just "wasn't working out anymore."

TL;DR Love and trust and communication has to come from both sides for a relationship to work. It's not coming from both sides in this case. Which is why everyone is telling OP to leave. There. Have I spelled it out properly for you this time?

>>18409673
Reminds me of the situation with my ex, except I'm the one who wants her back. I'd say take her back. It looks like you broke up with her over something dumb

>>18412763
Wrong. Don't listen to this guy. She is putting herself out in the open, showing you how things feel/are from her perspective

>>18409697
Never mind, just read this part. This girl doesn't remind me of myself, and she seems emotionally manipulative. Stay away from her. She took you for granted

>>18409777
>Academic paper
A very poorly written one at that.

Is she still contacting you OP?

>>18409673
Yeah looks like you let other people fuck up a good thing brah, take her back.

>>18415053
oh shit! agreed! fuck her stay away from her.... Damn

>>18409697
>She had rage issues
Run, she's a user. Her instant rage is designed to wear you down and get what she wants. She lied to you, to make you feel sorry for her. She's pulling all the strings to get what she wants.
This fucking letter is just to make yourself doubt yourself. Don't fall for the trap.
She can't be trusted.

>>18414706
I would have to agree with this anon.

>>18414846
>anxiety are a product of your own choices,
Because your choices are the only things that can cause that, and not the actions of others. kys.

>>18414885
I think everyone knows your logic is retard tier. He's just pointing out that your a fucking moron in a funny way.

>>18414652
not that anon, but you've probably not been in a relationship with some bitch with borderline personality syndrome, or if you have - and still are - you're the one who's seriously deluded for staying.

that shit is hell on legs.
>inb4 disrespect to the crippled

>>18414490
>>18414481
You two must be idiots. OP's ex is clearly batshit insane, and you're telling him to get back with her

Sure, all that stuff about finding a special someone with which to spend your life is nice, but that tends to be one person. Have you ever considered that not every relationship is meant to be "the one"? That girl is not sane. Getting back with her is the worst thing you can do

Look for someone else, even being alone is a better option

>>18409793

Yeah lack of paragraph breaks is enough to break up with her.

No one who isn't totally batshit insane writes letters like that.

>>18414740
For someone that apparently knows so much, you just keep repeating the same thing without any sort of backup other than "you'll regret it, people change" and ignoring the thread.

And that liberal use of "son" only undermines your view. Saying "I'm older, so I must know better" is not as strong an argument as you apparently think it is

>>18409697
>Lying about being in a car accident.
aaaaaaaand there's the red flag right there, OP she is damaged goods do not get back with her. The fact that she would tell such a huge and blatant lie to you shows quite plainly that she has no real respect for you at all.

Can her.

>>18412763
I was gonna write something along these lines but this guy summarizes it perfectly

She doesn't take ownership for anything
she puts it on you >>18409673
Occasionally she says it's BOTH of you fault and not her own.

If you are able to think objectivelly (which is understandable if you aren't), you are gonna see that you shouldn't give this girl a second of you time.

Also
>>18409772
>I want to let you know that i did reach out to [insert name] because i wanted to talk to him about what happened between uo

What is this about?
if it's an ex then you can't be stupid enough to not know what to do.

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>>18409673
You seriously need to ask for perspective on this?
She must've really done a number on you.

Human cancer. Stay away or kill it with fire.

>>18409673
I like the sentiment of a letter but damn man...it starts out fine then it just becomes a spiraling mess with grammatical errors and what not, and reads like a drunken text. I didn't even read the other half.

Also she reminds me of my ex who was pretty much insane with multiple personalites and took medication for her bipolar disorder.

>>18409743
kek

>>18409673
>>18409697
>>18409747
>>18409772
nigga w/e you do, don't even bother thinking about going back

bitches that write shit like this are:
1. young; you're both young most likely, I'd be surprised if you're over 22
2. fucking bonkers
3. they need taking care of beyond repair and the second you stop taking care of them they try to find some other guy on the side
4. bat-shit crazy if you didn't get that already

I had one of these, the good was great and the mad was a huge pile of shit and she'd go from perfectly normal and awfully cute to full-rage mode in literally seconds if you touched the wrong chords

there was no logic or rationale in that great-for-blowjobs head of hers

at most you've lost some submissive chick who would ruin your entire life when outside of bed

oh and
>tl;dr

>>18410719
That's dependency, not love.

Dependency is bad enough, but when it's dependency on an abusive person, that's a recipe for eternal misery.

OP, the only response this broad deserves is her own letter being sent back to her, with all the spelling and grammar mistakes corrected and a big fat 'F' on it.

Please do that and post response. I will respect you forever.

>>18418385
You people are evil as fuck. That shit's not even funny unless you're some kind of psycho.

>>18409697
Fucking run. Toxic manipulating bitches must be far FAR away. I can smell that drama queen overreacting and just screaming for shitty issues. Stay away

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>>18418385
my fucking sides
do it op
dont be a pussy

>>18418425
Are you the same "even abusive gaslighters deserve a second chance even though the first relationship was already probably 800 failed chances because you should cling to your very first relationship as hard as possible because if you move on you will regret not marrying your high school girlfriend and will never find somebody you are more compatible with when you are more mature and have a better idea of what you want in a relationship" dumbass?

If so, eat spaghetti sprinkled with Comet. If not, eat spaghetti sprinkled with Comet.

>>18418711
You've got some serious hangups, dude. I'm not sure you're fit to give anyone advice on anything.

>>18418719
Oh yeah? Name three of my hangups.

>>18418743
You're hateful, selfish, and rude, and shit that was literally off the top of my head without even a thought. I'm sure I could go on.

>>18418743
Immature, unreasonable, and full of hubris, too, apparently.

>>18418747
Why am I hateful, selfish, rude, immature, unreasonable, or full of hubris? Genuinely wondering because I think I'm positively charming.

Also, I dare you to name four more of my hang ups?

>>18418784
lol, sorry, m8, you're not worth another moment of my time, but I will say you're a very entertaining troll, who I'm sure you know, nobody could ever take seriously because you sound like a teenage boy desperately trying to mask their insecurities.

It's ok, kid, you'll grow out of it. I was 14 once, too.

>>18412385
One thing leads to another and sex happens. That's what she'll be aiming for the first time you guys meet up again. Re-establish the physical/emotional connection sex brings. All those chemicals in your brain that remind you of what was.

In my honest opinion, OP should not even contact her. Don't even try to justify it in your head man. She doesn't deserve any sort of explanation from you.

>>18418792
>lol, sorry, m8, you're not worth another moment of my time

Could you please find it within yourself to give me another chance? I don't want you to look back at this and be haunted by regret.

Aldo, how many moments of your time did you spend typing that? Pls respond this is a momentary audit.

>I was 14 once, too

It's ok dude. I will one day have dementia, too.