18 yo NEET

>>18408202
Go ask your parents for advice.

>get a job?

>>18408282
I don't want to talk about this with them. They're completely unaware of my problems with socializing and all that, and I'd like it to stay that way. They're just concerned with me being a shut-in dropout.
>get a job?
Is it better to get a job or to start university again?

>>18408295
Part-time job while in uni. Try McDonald's cashier. You'll get used to talking to customers, and a lot of your coworkers would be studying in the same uni as you. You can ask them about what they're studying and ask for notes or help on something if it's the same as what you're studying. You're not complaining about money so I'll just assume that minimum wage doesn't matter. You gotta start somewhere, pal.

>>18408295
>concern my parents
Trust me, your best option IS TO CONCERN them.

Please op, dont waste your time and talk to them. Apologize for being stupid and ask them for help. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You have mommy and daddy. USE THEM.

Please.

>>18408326
>Part-time job while in uni
I'm not even sure what to major in. I dropped out of an econ program (eurofag by the way so I'm not in debt) and I don't have any credits.
As for the job, McD's cashier sounds like hell on earth, are you sure about that?

>>18408333
How am I supposed to tell them about how I have really low self esteem and all that stuff? How is it going to help?
I know my dad, he'll just tell me to be myself. My mom would probably force me to go see a therapist.

>>18408357
Well, theraphist wont hurt you, maybe even help you.
Also your parents can find you job much better than fast food via connections. If you failed uni, that means you finished high school. You can try be police, firefighter, some boring office job, all sort of stuff. Google
>online career test
and try some.
Your dad would also be right.

Plus you would have somebody to talk with. Really, use your parents. I bet they didnt spent 18 years to raise you up only to see you fall burning down.

Seriously, the best adv is to ask your parents for help. Do it.

>>18408372
Sure. Even beyond that though that'd make them worry about me even more than right now, is it really a good idea to create problems like that?
>find you a job much better than fast food via connections
I asked about that. They told me that they'd prefer I get a job after getting some sort of degree or certification.
I'll try out one of those career tests though, I didn't know they existed.
>Your dad would also be right
What do you mean? "Just be yourself" isn't valuable advice.
>you would have somebody to talk to
I've never really shared anything personal with them.

>>18408344
I've been a McD's cashier. As long as you're nice to customers, they'll treat you nice. Any shit you get from the customers, just tell your manager to handle it. Your manager will get the shit for your fuck ups.

>>18408390
>create problems
It is not creating them. Just making them known and trying to solve them. They are your parents aka your best bet.

Dont fall for meme
>i am 18 therefore i know exactly what i want because finally i am able to buy alcohol legally
because you still dont know shit. Ask your parents for help. And maybe try uni again. But only after you realize if you are willing to put the effort in. Otherwise it is waste of time.

Talk to your parents.
>never really shared anything personal with them
This is great way how to suicide later. To never talk openly with somebody. Please op, try parents. I was also super dumb at your age, but i just listened to my parents so i sticked to school and since they have told me to do it, i didnt drop out.

Talk to parents, make some resolve and jump to uni you are WILLING to complete ot enroll to some lower class job. And get somebody you can talk to. Dont end up alone and crazy.

Your parents can and WILL help you.

>>18408451
Ok, but how do I confront them about this? They already know about the university issue and the fact that I'm not doing anything. But they don't know about how I feel about socializing and the problems I have with myself. I don't even really understand what I'm feeling myself, as dumb as that sounds. Is it necessary to talk about it when I've lied for months on end telling them that everything was fine and that I just lacked motivation?
>maybe try uni again
Given as I can't get an actual career without some sort of training then I think I'm going to do that.
I did a few online career tests and I get recommended CS/IT a lot. Is it a good idea to go to uni for that?
>This is a great way to suicide later. To never talk openly with somebody.
I've always been embarrassed about my feelings so I never display or talk about them. I don't know why I'm like this but it's difficult for me to talk openly about what I feel without coating it in shitty humor and irony.
>Dont end up alone and crazy
The main problem is that I don't know anyone and have had zero social contact since senior year of HS.

>>18408498
Software engineer is top tier you can study considering how everything else will br automatized in the next 100 years.

You just have to REALLY WANT TO DO IT. Do you like staring at piece of paper, figuring out why does that not work for an hour? Because that is what will your study be. Some math and other theoretical stuff, but mostly the thinking part. There were 600 students on 1st year in my uni on this course. 100 after 1st semester. To the diploma we were 40 and knew each other. It sounds like fun to work with computers, but majority gives up on 1st problem. And there are like 100 problems before you even start. And you cant just memorize the stuff. You have to understand it, or you will fail spectaculary.

>embarrased about my feelings
Just talk about it. Call your mom that you will come home, that you are lost and have no idea what to do with your life. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

Seriously talk to your mom. Hug her, cry a little and consult with her about your future.

And consider shrink. Better than being scared of talking with people about feelings.

>>18408547
>REALLY WANT TO DO IT
I lack motivation and drive but I have to do something eventually. I'll have to apply myself.
Is it better to get a degree in CS or to have specific certifications?
>To the diploma we were 40
Sounds harsh, were you in a top college in the US or something?
>You have to understand it
Is it very math-heavy?
Also, how do you make friends in a university environment? I genuinely don't know, it's not a rhetorical question.
>Just talk about it
I'm going to see my dad this Wednesday so I'll try to talk to him. I don't know how to open up so I hope he'll understand.
>consider shrink
Isn't it difficult to find a good one?

>>18408603
>have to do something eventually
This will get you nowhere. Dont even bother applying to thing as computer science with such weak resolve.
>harsh
It wasnt top school. It was in czechia where uni is free and most young people apply because they dont know what to do, so they use uni as pass time. And they all failed because weak resolve. Yes it had hard math, but nothing you cant learn if your IQ is 95+. Majority of kids are just lazy. Like super lazy. And considering you managed to fail one uni, you are as lazy. Dont bother.

>friends in uni
Easily. You live at dorm, so you gain default friends aka roommates. Also some courses requires team.

And the easiest solution is to look aroud in class, locate the most sad looking boy/girl and ask them if you can sit next to them. And after that you never let them leave you.

>dad
Dad can work too. If he wont be embarrased. Some are. Still it is better than nothing.

>good one
When was the last time you had honest talk with somebody? And dont tell me i am the first person in months who is wiling to talk to you like this.

Even bad shrink will be payed to listen to your troubles. But treat him as last option. Your first option are your parents. Even below average parents care about you.

And seriously, there are PLENTY of jobs not requiring uni. Police? Manual trade? Something? Failing uni for second time wont help you at all.

>>18408635
>Dont bother.
Well as I said I have to do something and my previous major wasn't interesting at all, and I can't fail this time because I've already wasted two years
>You live in a dorm
Not in my country. People come to classes, take notes, then go back home
Which is why I didn't know anyone back when I was in college.
>When was the last time you had honest talk with somebody
In real life, I can't remember. Probably my early teens or something. I kind of shut myself off when growing up. I never have "honest" talks about myself with anyone and it gets very awkward when I'm asked about my feelings.
>Police
I can't do law enforcement or military stuff because my legs are fucked
Manual trade sure why not but since those jobs require to get certificates why not just get IT certs in networking, administration or web development? Or is that not how it works?
Though my biggest concern is my complete lack of social contact and I thought university could help with that.

>>18408668
>not in my country
Bullshit. I dont believe you people who dont like to socialize exists. Maybe you have tighter formal norms, but you are essentially horny teens. Who cares about norms.

Really chat them up, get their contact info (phone?) and ask them to some social activity.

>wasnt interesting at all
Believe me, if you arent "nerd" who see computer as somethibg super amazing, you will die out of boredom.
I was always kid who was
>how does this work
>why does it work
You need serious motivation to do it.

And learn how to socialize.

>netwrok, admin, web
In my uni course, i have learn all of this to certain level. One class web, one mobile, like 5 about algorithms, math left and right, networking like 3, basically i can laught at all these certificates. I know it from hardware level to abstract implementation levels.

Just pick something and stick with it. But you will fail if you dont bother giving it 100%. And learn hoe to make friends. Talk to people. Force yourself to do it.

>social contact
Disco, bar, opera, meetme, okcupid, tinder, omegle, kik, discord, online games, facebook, check sites of your city about events. Just try.

>>18408202
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/chronic-depression-dysthymia#1

>>18408703
I meant there aren't any dorms here. There are no campuses save for very few exceptions. Is that so hard to believe?
>you will die out of boredom
Given as there's literally nothing that truly interests me, I just need to find motivation
>Talk to people
Yeah it sounds simple enough but I sperg out every time I talk to someone I don't know now.
I used to be fairly normal but a bit shy, now I spill spaghetti with the fucking cashier
I don't have facebook or any other social networking account, either. People think that's weird

>>18408719
I'd like to avoid self-diagnosis, but if that's really what I have then I'd still have to see a psychiatrist.

>>18408344
This is terrible advice. You can get a better job than McD's which deals with the public.

Why you gonna suggest the most cliche shit job.

>>18408734
>no social media
Just make some. You have to sacrifice something in order to find happiness.

>sperg
Sperging is fine. Just apologize right after and continue like nothibg happened. They will think you are funny.

You dont need campus to talk to people at your class. Be creative. Start with
>can i sit next to you?
And make them talk about themselves.

>>18408779
>make some.
What like a twitter account or something? what's the point if I never post anything?
>They will think you are funny
Eh it's not the cute kind of sperging, it's the creepy school shooter vibe kind. And I have a resting angry face with caveman eyebrows and huge dark circles under the eyes so it doesn't help to make a good first impression with people.
>make them talk about themselves
That's what I usually try to do so at least I'm doing something right.

>>18408786
>twitter
Read my post again. All of them if you feel autistic. Somevof them allows you to search for people by distance. Download phone apps and be online on them. Try look for gf once you are there.

You have to make effort to not be alone. DO IT FAGGOT!

>school shooter
Apologizr anyway, make a joke about yourself.
>sorry, i guess i look like school shooter when i make this face. But in reality i think about that girls boobs.

And now promise me you will talk to your dad. And mom. About everything you typed here. Make a list if you feel like autist.

Good luck!

>>18408837
>phone apps
>look for gf
Those are used for hookups and not serious relationships though. But I get it
>>sorry, i guess i look like school shooter when i make this face. But in reality i think about that girls boobs.
I'd never be able to say that

Yeah I'll talk to them. Thanks man.

>>18408848
>hook ups
Wrong. It is just a tool. It is up to you how to use it. There are definitely girls looking for more.

And about that joke, learn it and practice telling it. It might come handy. You can fake social interactions easily with a bit if practice.

>>18408879
I guess you're right. Shouldn't I focus on actually socializing and making friends before looking for a girlfriend though? I'm pretty sure girls find it unattractive when a guy doesn't have any acquaintances.

>You can fake social interaction easily
But can't people tell it's fake?

>>18408905
Dude, first resolve your basic life.

Money, health, place to live, job, education.
Then look for friends. It doesnt matter if you will be able to fuck them or not. Just anybody really.

Force yourself to socialize. Learn from your mistake. Talk about memes whatever, force yourself into someones life. Try meetme. Try talk with even more autist people than you. Always presume they enjoy your company until they tell you to fuck off.
>fake it until you make it

>cut contact with all my friends after graduating high school because of an incident
What kind of incident was it?

>>18408926
Yeah.
>presume they enjoy your company until they tell you to fuck off
I'll keep that in mind. I always assume that people dislike me or don't want to be with me by default because I feel like a bother.
>>18409104
I went on a holiday trip with some friends after graduation and they basically treated me like shit during the entire stay. I also tried to meet some girls while we were there and got rejected every time. Those two things more or less wrecked my confidence.
I guess it doesn't sound that bad but it definitely contributed to lowering my self-esteem.

>>18408202
>literally me, around 3 years ago
You've still got time. The other anon you've been speaking to is absolutely right. Talk to your parents about this. I chose the other path and it does not lead anywhere good. You and I seem to have hit most of the same beats in life:
>small group of close friends in High School
>lost contact with said friends (moved cities for uni in my case)
>make no new friends
>found what you were studying a complete bore
>dropped out
Here's what will happen if you continue to not talk to any of about this and try to "find motivation": You'll gradually lose sympathy from your parents, then you'll have nobody to turn to because you didn't force yourself to make friends. Don't be like me. Talk to someone.

>>18409356
Man if all your friends treated you like shit, you were pretty much unlucky my man. Confess about those incidents to your parents, cry a bit, then you should
be good to go. Just because some people shattered your self-confidence doesn't mean every single human being will. You'll have to do some digging, you'll find assholes along the way and maybe get lucky and find 1 or 2 true friends.

>>18409433
How old are you? Are you doing anything now?
Yeah, we do have similar situations. I'll definitely talk about it to my parents.
>>18409443
Well we were a group of 4, I didn't have a lot of friends.
>cry a bit
I see you and the other anon saying that but it would just make things strange. I'll just try to talk about it honestly and openly.
>doesn't mean every single human being will
You're right. I guess I haven't met the right people so far even though I'm not quick to trust someone.

>>18409603
I'm turning 21 in a few months. I cut ties with my parents and I'm starting to rebuild from basically nothing. Not much money to my name, so I'm planning to work full time to save up for now. The smart thing would probably be to make up and move back in with my folks for a bit. But I can't accept that. I've come to discover a lot about myself these last few years: I'm incapable of relying on others. I always thought "this is my problem, only I can change my situation". And I still believe that. But hindsight has shown that I'm a fool for not getting support to speed that change along when it was easy. Now it's I'm too stubborn to move back in with either of my folks (divorced parents). I feel like relying on them won't solve anything. So the immediate plan is to merely survive. Make friends, because "no man is an island". I'll decide when I'm more financially stable whether I want to go back to school.

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>>18408202
AM I STILL BANNED
COMPUTER SCIENCE IS A SCIENCE

>>18408202
Figuring out your future should be your main priority, I know your social life seems more pressing, but believe me it's not.

Stop browsing 4chan and watching anime until you figure this out, you're just using it as a way to avoid dealing with your problems. I agree that talking to your parents is a good idea.

A lot of people will argue with this for various reasons, but join the military. Not the Army or Marines so you can be a try hard faggot, but join the Navy.

You don't have a job. You don't have any friends. You aren't getting any pussy. You have no skills. You have no drive. This is who the Navy was invented for.

Bootcamp tries to reprogram you, but if you aren't a total idiot it won't fully take effect. You get out and into to fleet, you have job skills. You're in shape. You get paid to travel and fuck sluts in foreign countries. You get home and random people thank you for your service. Sluts back home want to suck your dick. You actually have skills and a trade and are in shape. You will make the best friends you've ever had.

>>18409770
Wasn't it difficult to cut ties with your parents? Did they both tell you they didn't want to support you anymore?
>I'm incapable of relying on others
>this is my problem
I can somewhat relate to that way of thinking. It's probably a bad way to deal with things in general though.
It's cool that you're working on improving your situation. Good luck man.
>>18409831
Well, one will lead to the other, won't it? If I focus on finding a good university program I can stick to, then I can focus on my social life once I'm there.
>you're just using it as a way to avoid dealing with your problems
I've stopped going on /r9k/, for one, it's a shitty place with a bad influence.
I only watch anime during the evening, it's really 4chan I waste a lot of time on.
>>18409840
Well, as I said I can't join my country's armed forces due to health problems. I went to see a recruiter at some point and it seemed like I would've enjoyed it, but whatever, there are good opportunities in the civilian world too I'm sure.

>>18408429
>As long as you're nice to customers, they'll treat you nice.
Bullshit
>Your manager will get the shit for your fuck ups.
Bullshit

>>18409819
How is it a science? I didn't major I'm compsci, but I use it every day for my job, and it's a total meme. Just a bunch of bullshit if statements

>>18410758
>CS isn't a science
>I didn't major in compsci
We can tell. Protip: CS isn't CE.

>>18408202
You're worse than asian then

>>18410712
>wasn't it difficult to cut ties with your parents?
This could be interpreted two different ways, I guess I'll answer both ways just to be safe:
Was it difficult (emotionally): Sadly I can't say it was difficult. It sounds pretty cringey, but I haven't had great relationships with my parents. It's definitely, not their fault though. They might not be perfect, but they certainly didn't make any huge missteps in raising me. I just have my own brand of malfunction and I'm pretty sure they can't really help with this one. We didn't talk much before, so pushing them aside and ignoring them comes easily. It's fucked up, but that's how it is. I figured I'd actually solve my own damn problems or die trying rather than burden them.
Was I difficult (financially, etc.): Oh god yes. Having zero contacts in the entire province (and the ones next over if I'm being honest) is pretty bad. Thanks, past me. You dun goofed. Do to the sudden nature of the split, all I had to my name was around a grand in the bank, the clothes on my back and this cellphone I'm typing on. First order of business was to get a library card. It's free, you don't have to wait for them to mail it to you, and it lets you use their computers. Vital for trying to find a place to crash in a hurry and finding a source of income. Today marks day 4 of my "absolute madman" of a plan. The first day, I swallowed my pride and called the local homeless shelters. Seemed like they were all full, which I guess was not too surprising given the number of homeless on the streets. So I spent the night outside, walking around and avoiding anything that seemed shifty. Thank god it's summer and it didn't rain or some shit. Days 2-3 I decided to book a room at the cheapest place I could find. Pro-tip if you ever find yourself in this situation: Check if a hostel is for backpackers ONLY. Didn't know this was a thing and wasted much time.

>>18411285
What does that even mean?
>>18411303
>It’s fucked up, but that’s how it is
I’m under the impression that a lot of people have somewhat cold or otherwise distant relationships with their parents now. I wonder why that is.
But damn that’s a lot of shit you’ve gone through to be independent.

>>18411721
>I think of it as atonement. A fitting punishment for not acting sooner. I had every chance to go out and meet people and get a job the few years before. I think I was mostly afraid of rejection, like others would somehow know that I'm some messed up motherfucker that barely goes out and hasn't even made a single friend after nearly 3 years. In a way this is kind of liberating. I think after all that self pity, I was pretty much going to slowly ease my way back into society, but the falling out with my folks kind of acted as a catalyst to speed things along. Either I get over my social anxiety, and form connections, or I'll die. Simple as that. It's refreshing having things become so simplified I guess. I don't have to worry about "what if my job makes my grades suffer" or some other little mental block holding me back when I can't pay for tuition. Funny how life ends up huh?

>>18411856
>Whole wall of text is now a greentext because I forgot to erase the ">" like a retard.
Kek. J-just ignore it!

>>18411856
>I think I was mostly afraid of rejection, like others would somehow know that I'm some messed up motherfucker
Do you think you would've still managed to "ease your way back" into society, as you put it, had you not chosen to become completely independent so suddenly?
You're right that it's definitely more simple, but you got to have balls to just drop everything and force yourself to get out there.

>>18408202
i've been kind of the same way to be honest, but im not as down and i enjoy going outside

>>18412000
Hard to say. Maybe I would have done nothing just like before. But I believe that this time was different. I was tired of being sad and wallowing in self pity. I figure if I was going to continue to be a loner, my grades would never improve much no matter what. Like I said before. I'm turning 21 around next semester, so I planned to save up some money to go on a road trip with my cousin to the US and see some sights. I've been of legal age to drink here in Canada for a while, but I've never really taken advantage of it (due to rarely going outside, let alone to bars). Since I'm pretty sure US alcohol buying/consumption laws apply to tourists as well, I guess I'd try taking a few months to maybe a year once I turned 21 to just travel with a visa and do odd jobs with my cousin (dragging him along as a kind of "anchor" of familiarity. Selfish, maybe, but he's not attending post secondary anyways) while traveling and experience life for once. Thought that maybe some alcohol would loosen my shell. But then one thing lead to another and I ended up giving most of my saving and possessions I had back to my parents. I mean I don't think I'm being "brave" or anything. I'm just doing what should have been done a long while ago in a roundabout way is all.

>>18412098
Huh, I see. Well, maybe that road trip would've been a good idea but you would've still had to find a long term plan at the end of it. Not to mention alcohol doesn't necessarily help you loosen (it doesn't for me at least). Such a trip could've been a great experience though, for sure.
>I don't think I'm being "brave" or anything
Well it requires a lot of willpower (or recklessness) is what I'm saying.
>what should have been done a long while ago
Being that you're barely 21, it's not like you've truly lost opportunities.

>>18412610
It's been 3 years since I've left my hometown for university. I've spent literally a seventh of my life idle. Not just merely a seventh, but some of the best years of my youth. Maybe I'll look bad when I'm old and gray and laugh at my recklessness, but for now, I can't realm forgive myself. Logically, this is the dumbest possible move. Every day I wake up these past few days I tell myself this is insane. But after 3 years, maybe it's time to try "insane", you know?

Have you tried visit a anime convention?

>>18412694
>some of the best years of my youth
It's probably dangerous to think that way. What's done is done and regret is counter-productive, though I shouldn't be the one to say that.
>I can't realm forgive myself
It's not like you can't "catch up", right? You're not in your early thirties.
>maybe it's time to try "insane"
Given how it broke your cycle of inactivity, it seems like you're right, yeah.
>>18412705
I haven't. I figured that going there alone probably wouldn't be a great experience since I'm not good at starting conversations.
What are cons like? I don't know anything about them. Isn't it mostly cosplayers?

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>>18409840
>was going nowhere in life
>joined coast guard, badass
>washed out
I couldn't tie knots for shit in training, if I could I'd have tied a noose by now.
I want to move on but I have no clue what to work towards because I fear being committed to something I don't like. Pretty much every week I get angry for failing and wish I could go back and do it right.

>>18412711
Even though, this might have broken me out of my stupor, I can't stress enough that under no circumstance should you follow my path. This isn't some grand triumph of willpower or anything like that. This is more akin to the behavior an animal exhibits when backed into a corner. Don't romanticize the idea of striking out on your own. Get help, even if you have to force yourself.

>>18412755
Yeah, I know. I'll do what's necessary in order to change now.

>>18412745
Come join us in the merchant navy. Everyone here thinks the USCG are dicks too.

>>18412778
Glad I could prevent someone from following in my steps. Best of luck to you, anon.

>>18412782
Well, same to you and thanks for your advice.

>>18412705
So are conventions a good place to meet people? There's one in my city right now, should I go if I don't have anyone to go with?