(long)Royally fucked up with a guy I liked

>>18408123
A couple of weeks later he texted me and asked if we could talk in person about "us" without me drinking. I told him that I had just been drunk and that I didn't like him like that. He then backed off and remained friendly with me, but after trying things out with some other guys and it not working; I realized just how much I liked him. So I came back and things were like normal, our weekly dinners; good conervsations and just...this "warmth" from him when we'd be together. He then brought us up again and asked me if I trusted him. I told him that I did and that he was an amazing guy. He just stared at me and then said that trust, respect and honesty were what he wanted in a girl; and that whichever way it shook out; that he was willing to go the distance with me if I wanted. I told him that I agreed and felt the same way. We left together and things were great, he stepped things up and slowly started to come out of his shell. Again, he's never had a girlfriend and while he was a big guy, strong and funny; he'd been hurt bad before and was cautious according to his friends.

We spent a lot of time talking and started sharing personal things(Something he found hard to do as he's very private) and the trust grew to the point where he even lent me his car a few times for travel and so on. We were bf/gf in everything but the sex. Then in January he came to my work after calling me to say that he was stressed out and "thinking about life". I was hanging out with some friends and we alreayd had plans to hit up a local bar, so I told him to tag along. We got there and I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he felt like shit and that he was sorry; but wasn't ready to talk about what had him so down, but that he could feel a depression coming on and that he hated himself for it.

>>18408128
I fucked up. I don't know if it was the drinks or what, but I told him I loved him no matter what and that he was the only guy for me since the day I saw him. He was really happy at this and we left together, drove around, made out in his car and he dropped me off home. He surprised me with some choclates a few days later and even hid some in my car as an early valentines present. Then from the end of January to his birthday(February 9th) he kind of fell off the face of the earth and everytime I saw him, he looked miserable. I texted him a couple of times asking if he was okay; he replied once with a "yes" and not at all the second time. I got him a birthday present but decided not to give it to him because of his unimpressed demeanor with everything, but some other friends did and he texted me to thank me for the gift idea. I told him that I hadn't taken part in any of it and that it was his other friends who'd come up with the idea. I didn't know what to do and those two weeks were stressful for me because of that.

There had been another guy I'd been talking to at my local bar(he worked there) and a few of my girlfriends and I went there one night after work. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him. I felt bad about it in the morning, but the guy actually stayed and we kept talking and even went on a date. I had a great weekend with him and we decided to become bf/gf. Then the next day, my friend texted me and asked if I was serious about him and that he'd been so let down by life recently that he needed to know if my words were true. I didn't know what to do and just told him that I was there for him. Valentines day he called me and said that our weekly dinner was ready and that he'd made something even more amazing for us. I...had already booked reservations for dinner with my bf and told him so. He just got quiet for a second and then told me to have fun and hung up.

>>18408134
A few days later he came to me, dropped off a laptop he'd fixed for me(I'd dropped it and cracked the screen) and asked if we could talk. I told him that the lack of communication was what had led me to talking to this guy and that he was putting in a lot of effort. That I owed it to the guy to at least see it through and couldn't just dump him because he now came running back to me after basically ignoring me for almost three weeks. He cried and asked me if I didn't remember our conversation at the bar about his oncoming depression, at that time; I seriously didn't. I todl him that I didn't and he said that he'd tell me whatever I wanted to know now if I wanted. I was curious and asked him, and he told me about his family falling apart; that his parents had divorced after his mom cheated on his day, his twin had committed suicide and that his sister had attempted suicide. That he hadn't ever dealt with so much at once and that he had been trying to be there for his family while not compltely shutting down from the world and that he was sorry he hadn't been there enough for me, but that that's where most of his energy had gone. I felt bad for him, but at this point there was nothing I could do expect say "Sorry" and that he was dropping these bombs on me. He cried again and the left my apartment without even putting on his shoes.

A couple days later we argued over text and he basically called me a whore and said that I was manipulative and only cared about myself. I panicked and fired back and told him that I seriously didn't know how he felt and that if I had known, I wouldn't have slept with the other guy. This set him off even worse and we ended up insulting each other over text pretty bad. A couple days later he wrote a sweet letter to me and apologized for his outburst of anger and said that he was sorry for not having been there for me and that he'd try to do better going forward in his life. I took his apology and told him to take care of himself

>>18408138
Ugh...things with my new bf aren't going so great. They were great in the begining and we had a lot of fun, but he's been critiquing what I eat(Even after I changed it up to what he preferred) and while with both drink, he doesn't like the fact that I smoke and I have to hide it from him. He's really into fitness and I'm not so sure what he saw in me. I've been trying to keep pace with him and make him happy, but I just feel this..."disconnect". I've dyed my hair, wear better fitting clothes and even have a road trip planned with him and some friends of mine. But I feel like I'm putting in a lot of work to have him stick around and that I have to "live up" to him. And the fact that he's always around other girls in the bar that are drunk and we slept together the same night we met...I don't know. I don't think this is going to last, I could be wrong. But he's just so different from me, I mean; the other guy was as well. He went to Church occasionally even and all of that, but while he didn't like my drinking or smoking; he never asked me to hide it from him, only to tone it down. I guess he accepted me for who I am? I don't know. We had our first fight yesterday and he accused me of still smoking behind his back and I denied it, but I don't know what to do now. Is there any chance of getting back with my friend? How could I have been a better friend to him?

Tl;dr: I liked a guy a friend and we hit things off well. He broke down for a couple of weeks and I met someone else. Now things aren't going so well with my new guy and I realize that I kind of screwed up with my good friend. We haven't talked in months, what do I do?

You royally fucked up on this and perhaps you're confusing "lust" for "love" to your guy friend. If you really loved him you'd notice when he's looking under the weather and would stay beside him even if he don't say anything. Not going off and fucked another dude.

>I was manipulative and only cared about myself
You know what? Maybe your friend was right even if he said it when he's not in a right mind. You've made your bed. Now you have to sleep on it.

If I have to suggest, don't bother your guy friend again, even if you've managed to be back together he's too damaged to build a stable relationship with. As foryour new guy, you have to realize every relationship has its ups and down after its initial sparks goes down, jumping to another peson or for one to another relationship are not the answer. It's just your first fight, stay on it longer to know if it'll work out out in long term or not, geez.

>>18408123
Lol i remember you posting this a few weeks/months ago. Anyways just leave your "friend" alone. He deserves someone better than you. You are not worth his time. That's the best thing you can do :)

He's psycho and you're just a regular whore. This is gonna end up fucked whatever you choose to do.

just skimmed through the text, is this is the slut who fucked some dude in a bar because the guy she liked closed off due to his brother's suicide?

>>18408181
I'm not confusing "lust" for him. When I first met him years ago, he was in great shape and ran marathons. That's what initially attracted me to him, his hard work ethic. He got burnt bad by a girl I knew and it really sent him into a spiral that he struggled to get out of. He was a little bit chubby when we started doing stuff together, but I knew he'd bounce back. I just made a mistake, I wasn't thinking straight and we were all drunk when I slept with that guy. I know I hurt him, but he's always been so kind to everyone and attentive. Can I not try?>>18408210
I'm trying to become a better person. I...it's like he told me once, that "you can't do better than someone that loves you"...I didn't know what he meant until now.

>>18408219
>>18408221
How is he a psycho? And can we please not do the name calling again.

>>18408221
Yup

>>18408123
Is it deja Vue or have I seen this before?

>>18408235
well gee sorry princess

anyway it's not really clear what exactly do you want advice on

if it's about going back to the guy, my advice is don't

if it's about the new dude, figure out if he's worth your effort
if not, ditch him
if yes, stay with him

>>18408255
The reason I bring this up again is because I read a thread on here yesterday, where a girl liked a guy who was similar to my friend. He was shy and a bit reserved sexually too, but she invited him over, made him dinner and played to his interests. And now they're a couple. I...all my past relationships have just been born out of one night stands(except high-school) and this one is as well. I don't know why, but I remember talking to my friend about this and him telling me that us being friends first would make us better partners in the future. I just feel like a fucking idiot and that I threw away something good out of a dumb decision. Is there truly no way back to him? He doesn't even look at me when I see him.

>>18408275
>Is there truly no way back to him?

well
>He doesn't even look at me when I see him.

what do you think?

>>18408232
>Can I not try?
To answer your question,, no. This is already went beyond repair. Like I said, you made your bed now you have to sleep on it. Don't you know actions have consequences?

Grow up. Try not being stupid with the new guy. Realize not everything will go smooth like you wanted to be and work on it. Okay, princess snowflake?

>>18408232
Ok he's a nice guy with a nice personality and great values but what about you? What do you have to offer that's so great and worth his time. I mean you already cheated on him... just leave him alone for god's sake. Perhaps consider dating a manwhore?

>>18408283
It's only been six months since I started seeing my new bf. Would that really be a rebound? And he's not a rebound. I liked him since last year when my ex and I broke up. We got really close in the three months before he had his family issues and I moved on. It was a dumb decision on my part and I really want to try and get him back. It's just that I heard from a mutual friend that he said that he'll never forget the night he tried to talk to me, and I told him that I owed the new guy a relationship over him. I don't even know where to begin in apologizing for saying that or why I said it. He was my friend and someone who was always there for me through so much. He even came and helped me with my fucking car when it was -27 one day and he changed my tired without a garage. I don't know what hell to do. Has nobody else ever fucked up and saved things?

You cant just rubberband back to your beta friend every time you find out a guy you're banging isnt to your liking. What the fuck is wrong with you? If you actually liked him you could've kept your legs closed at ANY point in this story and it would've been fine. Just leave him alone, jesus christ. You've probably fucked him up beyond repair.

>>18408296
There's a difference between fucking up and COMPLETELY destroying things.

>>18408286
I didn't cheat on him. We were friends, not a couple. I'm so tired of people saying this, we never slept together. And I have a lot to offer, I work, I keep myself looking good, I listen, I'm kind and I'm a great lover.

>>18408123
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You're a typical fucking whore

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>>18408304
>I'm kind

>>18408303
I misspoke. I didn't mean that he was worth less than the new guy to me. It was a very emotional discussion between him and I. He asked me to choose my new guy or him, I told him that I had to give the new guy a chance and that he was taking me out, listening to me, making love, all the great things. I didn't mean to imply that what my friend had done for me in the past wasn't worth anything. He just sounds so hurt by what I said and our mutual friend tells me that it stays on his mind. I didn't mean it that way.

>>18408304
You told him you loved him and he was the only guy for you. This must be b8 because you are in so much denial wtf

>>18408123
LARPing through the year?
now that's what I call dedication!

>>18408299
I know. Dear God I know. How do I begin to apologize to him?

>>18408275
I was on that thread but that girl had turned every guy down for 10 months. She liked him from the first time they met and couldn't pretend and see other men. She turned down many dates, including one of the guys friends and sure didn't fuck anyone.

>>18408313
You're not listening. You communicated commitment to him, and broke that commitment immediately without letting it settle. What reason would he think that you wouldn't do that again after you're "officially" a couple?

As many anons said before me (and probably going to say after me, because time after time you show you can't fucking listen) it's done - cut your losses and learn from it for the future.

>>18408313
Again, you told him he was the ONLY guy for you. It doesn't matter that you were drinking because that's what you said and he believed you. He probably thinks you're a slut so you should leave him alone.

If this is not a bait, then I begin to think despite their shortcomings, maybe redpill manosphere mgtow communities have the pretty right idea about women than common people would like to give them credit for.

Oh its this thread again

Stop replying to this cunt

>>18408123
he deserves way better than you

>>18408327
>>18408331
So that's it? There's nothing I can do? I lost him, I lost his two good friends that were nice to me and I'm a "slut" now for one dumb mistake I made? Okay. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

>>18408345
It's fine. I'm done here, I fucked up and there's no going back. That's what my friend said, and that's what you're all saying. I'll just text him and apologize for what happened and leave it up to him.

>>18408356
you can start by killing yourself

you and the guy both sound terrible. from your posts you literally sound like one of the most irresponsible, inconsiderate, disgusting women I've ever heard of. he has no self-esteem and is willing to help and feed you for free.

my advice is to stay with the current bf. he at least seems to have some self respect, unlike you and the beta.

>>18408362
>I'll just text him and apologize for what happened and leave it up to him

>inb4 he forgives OP and next month we have another thread

lmao pls stop writing this trite fantasy

You acted like a whore and you bite in the ass.
You basically did this to your self by slutting out instead of trying to get the guy you wanted. It is painfully clear you care more about hooking up with randoms than anything else.
You do not deserve him.

>>18408373
Will the beta guyfriend forfeits his balls again?

Will the whore keep having one night stand before finally killing herself because no beta put u with her shit??

Stay tune on 4chan's /adv/ for the next thrilling episodes!

OP you sound like a terrible person. Don't go back to anyone. They all deserve better.

>>18408144
>>18408144
>>18408144
I haven't cried in a year, but this post made me breakdown. Everything I've suppressed for so long coming out tonight. OP, I want you to know you are an awful, awful person. I am so sorry this boy had the misfortune of meeting you, and if you want to redeem yourself remotely by the standards of any ethical code that exists, leave him the fuck alone. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

>>18408296
You're literally posting on the internet about another boy while you have a boyfriend. You're disloyal and disgusting.

>>18408304
You had an emotional connection, which is why you're still hung up on him. More importantly you told him you loved him. The mental gymnastics you must be doing right now are olympic worthy.

Well, OP, the best advice I can give you is to move on from this guy.

First of all, you have a current relationship you should be dedicating your energy to making work out rather than worrying about an ex.

Second, you have fucked your relationship with this guy up beyond repair. Blacking out when he poured his heart out to you and then hooking up with random people after you told him he was the only one for him both indicate to him that you are unreliable and a liar, and the trust between the two of you is broken.

You ought to apologize to him in person if at all possible, say that you have some growing up to do and that you are sorry you hurt him, and that you hope he finds happiness without you. Make no indication that you want him back and do not try to deflect the blame in any way (by saying you were drunk or whatever). Then just leave, and don't try to interact with him again.

As for more general life advice, OP, it sounds like you have some alcoholic tendencies. It's not good to drink to the point where you can't remember things, especially when you have sights on a member of the opposite sex (this is excusable if you're having a girls' night with friends and are single, but still is something you should avoid for your own safety). It sounds like you have made a habit of going to bars looking for booze-fueled hookups, which is fine, but you should know that you shouldn't do this if you think you may be interested in a guy long-term, as it could send them the wrong message or turn them off (and OBVIOUSLY don't do it when you're in a relationship).

My point in that last part is, while you may see hooking up pretty constantly as a fine thing to do with little emotion involved, other people may not see it that way, and if you are chasing one of those people, it is a bad idea to continue the way you have been. It's also an awful idea to drink heavily on nights when you think that you may be moving forward in a relationship.

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>>18408123

>slutting it up
>can't get this dude who is resisting
>I don't understand why he doesn't want me
>back to slutting it up

Hm, I wonder.

Bait thread.

>>18408324
there's no apology because you don't even realise how horrible you are, you just feel sorry because he feels bad but if he told you to fuck off you wouldn't hesitate one bit to blame him (like you did, but you said you "panicked" so I guess you haven't realized)

relationship aren't toys you pick up and drop whenever
leave him alone and deal with it

I would say worse but then you would think of my post just as an insult, since apparently you aren't really adept to listening to other people

>>18408304
>I listen
But can't remember what was said the next day
>I'm kind
To anyone who shows me interest and has a dick
>I'm a great lover
Large numbers of people you've slept with don't imply that you're good at it, just easy.

>>18408123
I hope you don't look up to Diana

Honestly, fuck women like you, I hope you die

I wish I hadn't read all that to be honest. I wish your friend would just tell you to fuck off and then ghost you.

>>18408221
i think it's a dude

fuck off whore.

>>18408304
We all know what you mean when you say that you are a great lover

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Of course OP is a slut who bounces to and from men as if they were side cables in a wrestling cage.

But maybe... If you allow the ex of one of your friends to flirt with you, AND don't actually make a move when things get serious, you deserve to get cucked.

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>>18408123
Ok so I'm going to be completely and totally honest dude.

Woooooow you fucked up in a legendary way. Like I have never seen such a train wreck personally. Pic related.
He's kinda right I guess. You confessed your love for him and did so multiple times, and when he began to go through a horrible period in his life you went off with another man. I'm not saying you had no right its absolutely your prerogative, but think about it from his point of view. If someone told me they loved me and repeatedly did so, then skipped off with another guy I would certainly brand them a scheming whore.

If you really want to be with him, break up with new dude and talk to your friend again. He may not accept though seeing as your fuck up nailed his trust. Ngl you probably turned him into a heartless bastard. Try your best.

I sincerely understand both of your positions. Good luck

literally kill yourself, op. i don't care if this is stale pasta or not, please leave.

>>18408123
Leave him alone. While your friend might miss you, the emotional trust is gone and you most likely lack the ability to repair it. You ditched him for another cock when he needed you, he will always remember that.

Also, I'd suggest you stop jumping from one relationship to another, it will only end badly when you drag your emotional baggage from one to another.

>>18408275
>Is there truly no way back to him? He doesn't even look at me when I see him.
Yeah, there's no way. You left him, fucked some other guy. He doesn't look at you because you betrayed him, and his trust. It will never be the same as it was. Even if you tried to get back with him it probably would end up with him leaving you. Friends is probably out of the question as well.

>>18408296
sooooo, basically...
>poor me, I will never get to use him for services again

>basically called me a whore and said that I was manipulative and only cared about myself.
He was right, you don't care about him. You only care about what he did/can do for you.

>I don't even know where to begin in apologizing for saying that or why I said it.
Well you start by acknowledging/admitting what you did wrong to him, then you follow it up with sorry. Also, you lead with that. No small talk, then after you apologize you leave him be until he decides to contact you....if he wants to.

>>18408356
>So that's it? There's nothing I can do?
That's right, that's life. You not only crossed the bridge of no return, but then you burned it with your words. Actions have consequences.

In life, you're dealt a hand. It's up to you to decide how best to play it, and make the best of it. You played badly, you have a new hand now. The cards you held are gone, you will never draw the same hand again. Make the best of your new hand, and deal with it.

>>18408362
>I'll just text him and apologize for what happened and leave it up to him.
I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that it's going to blow up in your face. I don't think you're truly remorseful for hurting him, you just miss what he did for you.

>>18409199
I know your feelings, anon.
But we both "know" this succubus, she can't leave it alone. She has to drain the life out of him.

>>18408304
>I listen, I'm kind and I'm a great lover.
Do other people tell you that, or just you to yourself?

>>18408123
I remember you a from a couple months ago.

The damage is done, leave the friend alone and move on. I don't want to rip into you and call you a piece of shit, but just let it go and move on.

I genuinely come here to give people advice but you're a fucking scumbag, honestly. Fuck you.