Okay, I need to clarify a bit what exactly is my mental state

>>18406835

Ok

Then
I'm 24, I spend most of the day at home keeping myself busy with whatever there is to do at home (cleaning, cooking, etc) and spending time online/gaming(usually varies between 3-5 hours though it could be just 1 hour if I'm busy that day)
It depends on what happens each day, but I'm usually happy and cheerful at home spending time with whoever is there at the moment.
I hide mostly everything about what I feel on the inside (stuff a normal cheerful person wouldn't be feeling) but I don't feel like I'm putting a facade, it's more like I switch modes really
Then the important part, I feel I can't commit suicide because of the love I feel towards my family, but it's not like I fear it and I end up thinking more often than not that it would help them more if I die
My current stance towards life is that it's just not worth it, I dont have any complexes about romance or goals or anything and I don't feel sad about it at all, it's just that I don't feel drawn toward anything
The only thing that ever gets me to cry is the guilt about not return all the love and the efforts my parents and siblings have done for me.
But everything else doesn't mean a thing to me
and I guess that's wrong

I'm not trying to be an ungrateful bastard but I'm not looking for advice about accepting myself and my capabilities, only trying to figure if what I have is depression or some mental disorder

And yes I know I'm a lucky guy for having people around helping me, that's what my whole guilt thing is about, I love them more than anything and they're the only reason I'm even trying

>>18406842

Yeah well, if you don't do anything with your life other than playing video games all day no wonder you feel life is fucking boring.

Everyone feels down, you're normal.

You need to get your shit together, that's all.

>>18406850
Yeah I guess that was my mistake, I meant 5 hours as in watching tv, using the PC, messing with my phone wherever I am and then playing games, there are days where I don't even play at all.
But anyways, something important is that it's not like I think my life is boring, it's that I feel any life I can come up myself would be boring.
Right now I live for the sake of my family and that gives me a feeling of relief but it doesn't change the fact that Í'm still a neet

Last bump

>>18406864

Well you have the power to change that, you just haven't realized it yet.

>>18406970
Then should I conclude I'm only feeling down?
I need to get rid of that worry to move forward I think.

>>18406864
Sounds like youve got an addiction my dude. One of the worst symptoms of overstimulation via the instant gratification vidya provides is that working and any hobbies that take effort become 10x more difficult to do and much harder to enjoy because you conditioned your brain to click flashing lights = reward. Thats one reason why you may feel normie mundane activities to be pointless. You should evaluate the impact spending so much of your time on this addictive behavior will impact your life in the short and long term future.
Force yourself to see your life situation 1, and three years from now. If you dont like it then make a change. The only person who can decide what your time is worthwhile spending on is you. If youre going down a path you think youll regret then make a change. You miss all the shots you dont take so might as well give er a go.

>>18407008
I guess this sounds more accurate, I've got to admit that even if I don't play that much now, last year I had been playing too much with my phone (mobage and shit like that)
I think part of me might have that addiction problem but something people probably wouldn't believe about me is that I can live perfectly fine without it as long as I have something else to do.
At least I'm sure games aren't the reason why I find everything pointless but yeah I can say I know what it is to be addicted to it