Alone and see no way out

>>18406804

Did you grow up with an alcoholic father by any chance?

and yeah no... killing yourself is not really the way out.

No my father was not alcoholic but there was a lot of emotional abuse going on at home and I come from a third world country. As soon as I turned 18 I left there. I barely have contact now. The few times I've been back briefly I felt unappreciated To say the least. I've been through 2 abusive relationships (one of my abusers still lives nearby). That caused me to socially isolate. I've also moved many times now i am tired of moving and I can't afford it to do all on my own (especially emotionally) I've been always able to pay for my own, but that doesn't matter, nobody wants me.

I know most people are against suicide but my family wouldn't really care or even find out soon, there's literally an ocean between us, also I would do it somewhere where nobody Who knows me would find me.(like in a forest or hotel room far away in other country) I would get rid of any ID so it would be like I just disappeared from this world.
I just need to know a safe fool proof method and gather the mental strength and hope I will go out quickly

This is depressing as hell.

Anyways, get a fucking hold of yourself. Grow a pair of ovaries or whatever your female equivelent for balls are and become independent.

Break up, and stick with your job. You may have to live on the streets, you may have to be homeless, but it's better than suicide. Suicide is just a selfish, weak, and cowardly way out.

Join the nation's military if you can. If you are under 35 and came from America, you can go back and just join the Army or something.

If not, well get ready to bite the bullet (Figuratively, don't actually bite the bullet) and suck some shit up because you are gonna be homeless. Once you get a good amount of money saved up (from your job, that you will just have to endure), then you can get an apartment or find help from friends.

Case in point, don't kill yourself. That's retarded, and you are retarded for thinking that.

I rather be dead than homeless

Any suggestions for suicide methods? Or more details on how to hang yourself applying pressure on the carotids? I don't want to suffer much

>>18406930
If you don't want to suffer much, suicide isn't for you. Death always hurts.

>>18406944
I know but life also hurts. I read there are methods where you pass out quickly and don't suffer that much. It must be possible. Also i wish euthanasia was legal for any reason at any age

>>18406954
Can you not stay in your situation a few months, living simply, save a few thousand dollars while looking for a job in another area, and sign a lease elsewhere and just start anew? You can look for roommates to split the cost of rent, or find a shitty one bedroom apartment.

Anyways, from what you've said, it seems like you wouldn't be successful in any suicide attempt and it would likely land you in a mental hospital and in hot water with your boyfriend.

It all doesn't have to end here. If you truly don't want kids, then it's not nearly too late for you in your 30's. Just find financial independence, and explain to potential suitors your views on children, and you should be fine.

>>18406930
If you're asking that, you don't really want to die.

>>18406954
Why do you want to throw away your life so badly? All of the problems you listed can be solved easily. Grow a fucking spine and go to therapy. Get some meds for your depression, save up enough money from your shitty job just like we all do and move the fuck away. All I see is you just making up excuses to take the easy way out and not have to work for self-improvement. I have severe social anxiety and depression and couldn't even survive a job interview without having a panic attack. You're actually blessed to have enough social skills to actually be able to interact with people in real life and hold a fucking job. When I couldn't function or want to live I just got help and therapy. If I can do it you can do it too. Don't be such a fucking coward.

>>18406983
I've tried therapy and I stopped it. People think doctors or psychologists have the answer to every problem like gurus or high priests of society but in reality they're flawed humans like everyone else.
I just want more info on how to die. I have nowhere to go and If I could get hold of a job is not of my social skills but because I had to. I don't have the choice to stay in My parents basement because technically I have no parents. Now I have a steady income how could I just go anywhere and start a new alone and with social anxiety? It's also difficult to move around with my pet and I don't want to abandon it. Maybe that's the only thing thAt keeps me going, my pet, but it also makes it more difficult to move (it's not the only reason, my social anxiety and panic is the main one)

>>18407006
You can shop around for therapists you know. And don't act like psychology is some kind of voodoo cult. Yes, health professional are human but they act according to proven science

Anyway, I don't think you're situation is so bad that it will never improve. People saying you should break up with your boyfriend are going over the top I think. if he's an okay guy, stay with him if you have to, and appreciate the support he's giving you even if you don't feel all that strongly about him. Go to therapy, and save money from your job so that you'll put yourself in a better position to move on from your situation, whatever that entails (breaking up with your boyfriend, moving, getting more education etc.)

I really think that its important for you to continue pursuing mental health. While your situation isn't ideal, it's certainly not terrible. Most of your troubles seem to be psychological.

you have to go back.

now that that idea has frightened the shit out of your colored derriere, contemplate how worse you would be if you did go back, and be grateful for what you have.

you don't like the town, job, partner?

just gtfo of there and go elsewhere.

it's not rocket science and you don't need to be clock boy.