GIOYC

I can't put a towel around my waist. It always falls down.

I swear if you don't show up tonight or explain your secretive behaviour in going to throw all your shit out.

I like touching myself when reading posts.

I keep fucking up, idk if I'm unlucky or a retard

My body and soul has an undying thirst for you, but I just can't ask you out.
It sucks and I really, really like you.
You're like an opposite side of my coin, for everything I'm not, you are.

We'd be so perfect together, goddamn it.

i'm angry at myself for not being where and who i want to, but couldn't be fucked to take the action needed. this is such a self destructive cycle and i don't know how much longer i can keep this up

>>18405896
Why can't you ask them out?

I hate myself so much, and I hate the people who have found happiness despite sharing my misery.

>>18405779
I feel like im 10 years old but im 20 years old i feel like i have no experience with people my age or doing the things other people my age do but im not really that interested in it but even so i still feel like im missing out fuck fuck fuck

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I want a relationship with a type of girl/person that doesn't exist. I don't think I will ever meet someone with all the features I want in a person. I think I might have met someone very close to that but she wasn't single and I lost contact with her years ago anyway.
I don't think I can or want to lower my expectations. But I'm lonely and I want a relationship, I just can't find the right person.
I'm not saying I don't get rejected or that I'm in a position to judge, quite the contrary. Besides I've let myself go and I've been a loser with no aim and no purpose in life, unemployed for years. But even if I tried to improve myself I feel like I'm just looking for a person that doesn't exist or only exists in my mind.
If it's not a person I'm looking for it's a type of relationship where we are mutally the most important person to each other but I don't think that kind of relationship exists, if I have a romantic relationship it will always be me loving her way more than her loving me.

>>18405909
Like I said, everything I'm not, she is.
And what she is...is a thuggish punk girl.
I'm just some autist.

>>18405964
As a weird, over emotional awkward guy into sad twinkly rock who dated a thuggish punk girl, I can at least tell you that it might work. It eliminates the need for either of you to act a certain way based on your interests etc if you come from such different sides, then you get to focus on bonding as actual human beings

My life is a mess, I have the hots for an 18 year old girl, i'm recently divorced, my parents are morons, nobody will hire me and everyday I wish I'd die in my sleep.

>>18404082
E

Why do I want to know how you're doing? Why am I thinking of being an idiot and asking 4chan how you are? Sometimes I want so badly to get in contact with you, but I know I can't. Mostly for your sake. A while ago your sister told me you were doing well. But I know you'd be hiding it from her if you weren't.

I like trains a sexually way *licks toy train*

I typed out a whole news article's worth of shit I'm feeling and I still ended up deleting it because every time I try my brain just sends a signal of "NEWSFLASH: NOBODY FUCKING CARES".

I want to talk to my boyfriend, but I sent him a cute kitty picture that looks like his recently deceased cat and made him upset. I wanted to cheer him up because he loves cats. I also couldn't read the article he sent me about something he's passionate about because my learning disorders make all the words in huge paragraphs blend together. He said it isn't my fault, but who's fucking joking? It totally is. I can't cheer anybody up without making it worse, I can't talk to anybody without inadvertently hurting them or having an anxiety/depression episode that hurts them. I hate my mental and learning disorders, and I'm a fucking failure. Holding all these feelings in and isolating myself so I don't hurt anyone too much is fucking suffocating.

But hey, if I try to vent about it on 4chan worst case scenario I just get called a faggot or an autist.

Please, life.
Just grant me this chance, give me this chance, i will make it a go. I will make myself proud, i will make my family proud, i cannot fall and i dont think about falling. I do not regret anything, but i do not want my past to be an issue. Please life, give me one more chance, i will take it, i have confirmed that there are many things i can only find meaningfull if done with the right person, i have find out that to achieve my dreams i need to believe myself, i need to be strong myself, i have to feel worthy of everything i have now and everything i have achieved, please life, grant me the strength, to make myself realize i have all my chances yet in my hands and only i can make them be a real thing.
Please life, i have understand now, if it isnt granted, i will make the chance happen, but i rather have you by my side.

I'll never find someone as great as you ever again.
I should have been a better boyfriend.

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>>18404866 (from last thread)

C
I'm so angry with myself for falling in love with you. I had an idea who you were, what you really wanted in a man and I knew I wasn't it. I was vulnerable, I fell for your charms. At a time when I was feeling useless, you came into my life and suddenly I had someone to care for, someone to love. You seduced me and I finally got to act out 30 years of stored up intimacy. The next few weeks felt magical for me. It was doomed from the beginning but I carried on anyways. You gave me a reason to live. I soared like an eagle when I was with you. I opened my heart to you and revealed my innermost fears, my desires, my longing for what we had. Predictably your self esteem was restored and you moved on. I picked you up and dusted you off at great cost to myself. Why can't you understand my pain? Why can't you understand why I haven't "gotten over it?" Women can be so cold. Why cant you see that I gave you my all? It's so unfair that you're gone, that you took my love to boost your own self worth for the next man, the man you really wanted.. I'm sinking into the abyss of depression and you're absolutely apathetic. Oh Lord my God, why am I going through this? What good is to come from this list intense and long lasting pain? Every day, no, every moment is a battle. Will I spend another summer in the shackles of despair? So many attractive women around me and I can barely muster the energy to bathe myself. Yet, she boasts about how happy she is and how this will be a summer to remember. You're welcome Char. It only cost me my well-being, my peace of mind, my hope. I hope he's good to you and vice versa.
M

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Ain't cleaning this up. :)

>>18406314
oH FUCK NO

>>18405779
I want to run away from everything. I want to fucking die and never live again. I miss having my special one. I can't live like this with this pain inside me. I don't want to work. I don't want to shower I want to die

thanks for having my back honey. feels good to know i'm the bad cop

I can never love you back but I thought things could work anyway. Didn't realize how stupid that is. The best thing for both of us is for me to just let you go but I really liked being friends with you and had always hoped we could be friends again.

Didn't want that to be the end but I'm tired of hurting you and maybe after this we can both move on.

>>18406376
Why can't you ever love them back

I'm 22 and had sex with a 43 year old. Should I feel as bad as I do about this? I feel emotionally raped and scarred.

>>18406395
Because I'm not gay.

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My boyfriend and I dated very quickly and rushed things a bit (kissed him once, hand holding, cuddling).. it's been four months and we have not had sex yet (he respects this and does not expect it from me).. it feels nice he is allowing me to warm up to him as a best friend and girlfriend. Maybe it sounds strange but I am not sure where I would be without him, I am very glad I left my shitty mental place and had the opportunity for him to find me organically. I am grateful I have him in my life and I can see myself marrying him. My birthday is approaching and I think he is going to ask me to marry him. I plan to say yes because I don't want to have another experience like the last couple years of my life ever again. Not sure why I am posting this, I guess it is a vent because I have been feeling really weird lately and not posting on gioyc much like I used to.

can you stop inviting me to things that you honestly dont want me to come to?

today was so great in the morning and then you just fuckin flipped. i dont know what happened.

>>18406419
What's your history? It's clearly more than friends

>>18406442
and can you please stop using me for an emotional connection as well? just stop talking to me all together, that'd be perfect.

i dont want to know you ever existed and i want you to do the same for me.

thanks

>>18406449
We've been friends since we met each other in high school trig. After a few years he told me he couldn't keep hiding the way he felt and I was clear with him that I can't feel the same way about him but he'll always be my friend if he wants.

We were really good friends but it was never anything more than that.

I wish I had the courage to kill myself. Literally the only thing keeping me going is because of the people I love. I try to do all I can to make them happy even though I can't offer much. It's not a lie when I tell them that I care about them more than I care about myself.

I'd be most afraid to leave David behind. He's my best friend, he's my everything and he doesn't know it. If he smiles I can smile. If he's sad or upset I feel like I want to punch a supernova to make him feel better. He's the only thing that makes my living hell bearable.

I love him dearly and I want him to keep smiling even if can't. Even if I have to fake it for him. He's only thing I think about that keeps that blade from cutting open my flesh, from letting a bottle of pills poison me.

>>18406421
>last couple years of my life ever again
Sounds to me like you're slightly afraid.
You had a rough patch right? So you could be dealing with the after effects, you likely question that things are going so well. So it's normal to feel this way.
Just make sure to breathe and keep taking it slow. Understand that the bad times aren't who you are, and they aren't the reason your bf loves you. He loves the you you are today.
You got out of that pit, so it's normal to hear it's calling from afar. Just keep walking forward.

If you want to be open try translating this to your bf. Something like "I'm a little scared, but only because I can't believe that how good things can be."

Going forward anon, try to foster a relationship of open communication and trust. Be a strong person when you are alone, and stronger when together. Don't fear that something may fuck things up, believe in the bond you have and continue to grow it.
Understand that you are two separate people, each one with flaws and strengths. Effort, communication and time. Give that to each other and you'll be just fine. Should things ever happen that you get a bit heated, take a walk, get some air and relax. Head butting will happen, but a good couple will able to work it out and be able to lay in the same bed at night and smile afterwards.

You're nervous. That's normal for someone who's been in a bad place for so long. Like coming out of a dark cave after years of being in it, the light will sting your eyes and you will want to shut them, to return to the cave. Don't. Instead smile, and bask in the light, feel and enjoy how it warms your skin. It's been while since you praised the sun. Praise it now!

I asked my friend when she wanted to hang out and she said on the weekend... no word from her yet. I'd ask her but I'm so afraid of bothering people. I don't want her to do something she doesn't want.
I have problems making friends because of this. I wish it came more naturally to me. I'm not giving up but I'm a bit lonely at the moment.

>>18406069
Well, no, no...no. See, when I say thuggish punk girl, I mean she has a feisty bite to herself, she's streetsmart, she could decimate any man she dislikes, and she has a tattoo while dyeing her hair all the damn time.

She's very vicious, but very cordial at her work. If not at her work, her attitude completely changes.

Contrast with me, who's some autist trying to hide any feelings he has so he could be stoic and shit. For the most part, I behave in a constant.

Honestly, she's cool with me, but I still have deep reservations talking to her. One fuckup would lead to my ass getting chewed up. I only observed her doing this to others, so I'm not gonna bother trying to ask her out.

It makes me bleed inside tbqhwy

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The desire to find a female to be a partner with has mysteriously disappeared. It's strange, and I'm not exaggerating. As a result, my libido has been dropping, and I'm losing touch with this part of my existence. In the past, I had seemingly an open mind towards the idea that eventually I will find a partner. I generally am pretty optimistic about the future, too in an odd way. I have many goals and ambitions and am working hard to obtain them. Life is generally good, mind you. I enjoy my job. I enjoy my hobbies. I enjoy the pocket of trees outside my window. I'm content, and I can't help but feel that any attempt at forming a deep relationship with anyone will damage this content. Many relationships I have witnessed in my life (parents, friends, etc.) have gone down negative paths. I have no real good example of a working, positive relationship. Furthermore, I never have truly met a single person I felt actually compatible with, and I see no point in seeking a relationship with someone I am not compatible with.

Honestly I'm willing to admit a lot of problem lies in myself and my tendency to bluntly say what I think. I'm not completely devoid of empathy, but I don't think I can satisfy the emotional needs of any woman. The hermit life calls me.

>>18406539
You are growing content with yourself. Simply put.
You don't require another to be around to justify anything, just yourself and it actually the best thing you can do for yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. It will lead you to actual self-fulfillment.

I envy you, I am still reeling from the pain of a failed relationship. I wish I had the strength to just enjoy it.

I've been fucking this girl for the past 2 months and she's best friends with her orbiter who confessed she liked her in front of us both while I was there, fully knowing I've been deep inside this girl's stomach. He keeps talking about how he hates guys who are flirts who only use girls to fuck them, and always says she's part of my harem, and then tells me how I'm "missing out on an opportunity to date her" and how "I need to seize it before it's gone".

Stop fucking bothering me. I don't feel anything for her. If you do, it's not my fault I'm fucking her while she only rejects your advances. Stop lashing out at me and take your white armor off for fuck's sake.

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>>18406551
You're right, I suppose.

If it helps, you should start a garden and grow some things. Hopefully things randomly work out like they did for me. My struggles of the past have given me strength and wisdom to handle the future, but enough to make me realize that things just randomly happen and all we can do is show up to roll the dice.

So I was right then? About her friend blackmailing her by threatening to tell me she cheated in order to sleep with her?

That's pretty disgusting and straight up rape. He's the one you want me to fight, right? The little asian kid?

it's funny though. The only reason her father liked him was because he was asian too.

She slept with her ex, right? That's the reason he got soooooo butt hurt.

You know what? I don't care. You guys get off to fucking with me. I never would have had that meltdown if it weren't for you fuckfaces controlling my life. You all seriously thought you were helping me by cutting off all contact with the world. You seriously thought that.

The entire reason I broke down was because of how I was being treated by everyone. The entire thing felt like a massive conspiracy and I guess that is exactly what it was. She was lying to me for so long. I was so nice and loving that entire time right up to the point I snapped. I then apologized a couple days later.

And then it happened again. Except this time, I was patient, understanding, and when I approached people I was calm and nice. I asked them "Hey, what is going on? she just disappeared?" and I got no response at all. For a MONTH I was patient and calm. Even though the replies I did get were incredibly douchey, I was still calm.

Eventually, the extremeness of the situation broke me. I was completely cut off. People weren't talking to me because they just weren't getting my messages. Those in charge decided that psychological torture was the best method in order to help me through this. Not the truth. Not... telling me what was really going on despite how many times I told them that is all I wanted. Was to know what happened and not knowing was driving me insane. Well, not just not knowing but the feeling of it being a conspiracy. Why was everyone ignoring me? I wasn't being a dick, I wasn't threatening, I just wanted to know what the fuck was going on. The whole thing was just fucking weird.

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I'm at a constant state where I secretly hate everyone at my school, but I act friendly to mask it.

>>18406576
Also I didn't mean to put that image on that post.

>>18406566
So after everyone lying to me, ignoring me, being a dick to me, and just fucking with me I broke down again.

None of that would have happened if you mother fuckers didn't do this to me. You all knew what was happening. You were all partaking in disgusting behavior and when the shit hit the fan you blamed me for the things YOU dumbasses did.

I am the innocent one in all of this. I'm the one that has the moral highground. You fucked with my mind, tortured me, and just kept pushing and pushing until I broke.

Still, this goes deeper than what happened those couple months. My entire life is a lie. The things I know now are some of the most fucked up things that have happened to a person and you fucking assholes still think silence is the best way to handle this.

You think pushing me is good for me. That this torture is healthy and it'll be a happy ending. You have fucking admitted to causing my suffering. You have admitted to torturing me.. "to make me a better person."

I'm not playing the game anymore. I'm not going to have sex with renee, iris, vicki, bree, or maria. I'm not going to talk to any of them. I'm not going to do fucking anything. I fucking quit.

Go entertain yourselves because I won't be your entertainment anymore.

Your boyfriend took pills a few months back with her.

I'll never tell you this. I could have, but I'll never do it. I'm not sticking up for him, but... for you I...

>>18405779

Honestly in your parting messages so many things became clear to me

the cheap manipulation tactics, the way you talk down to me, the desire for control, the complete lack of respect for my worth as a person, the fact that you don't value me at all, the fact that you don't even know me, the fact that you try to blame me for your shitty childish behaviour, your willingness to mock some of the genuinely painful life experiences I was willing to share with you in an attempt to foster some intimacy before you turned it sour and insane

Anything you say to try to redeem yourself is so fucking empty

I got so used to brushing off the horrible shit you would say that I began to minimize the severity of it - oh, he's just angry

Anyone who knows even a modicum of the shit you've said and done to me is shocked and appalled. It's about time I get real with myself - what you did was hurtful. What you did was intentional. What you did can't be allowed to happen again. You have had a million chances. The begging, the pleas, it means nothing. You'd treat me like shit this very second if given the opportunity.

>>18406198

your life isn't a mess, you're a mess

For once, I tried asking someone out. But I should've taken my own advice and never dipped my pen in the company ink. Not long after being turned down, she's dating someone else. It hurts my soul every time I catch a glimpse of her. Luckily, we work on different teams, so we maintain a reasonabe distance, and I almost never think of her when I'm off work. But those glimpses of her really take it out of me. I wish I never caught these feelings, but I'm also glad she reminded me what they feel like.

>>18406633

I hope this isn't for me. My brain is trash, my cognition is shot, she hasn't talked to me to let me apologize or just understand what changed so quickly about us. I'm only trying to get better. There are no opportunities for us to hurt each other now and haven't been for several months now.

>>18406668

how are there no opportunities to hurt? if your brain is trash then you're going to hurt her if you even speak to her

also post your initial and hers

well she invited me to go hang with her at her friends party, literally flaked as i was driving over, and shes hooking up with some kid named drew that she has a past history with.

i kind of just want to drink myself into a coma tonight. i feel so alone, none of my friends want to see me nor does my family.

>>18406677

I acknowledge that and I don't talk to her, now because I know that I'm not healthy atm, but before that because she blocked me on everything. I am a C.

>>18405779
i just want to fuck

Just rambling, not looking for input but it is welcome and will be read.

tl;dr I just told my ex to stop talking to me for her own sake.

I'm almost 29 years old. Close to 4 years ago I had the most fulfilling relationship I ever had. I was gonna marry her. She wrongfully accused me of cheating and took a month to prepare a psychological bomb that drove me to a suicide attempt that I only knew about after I had done the deed. I was the one to break up with her because she started lying and cheating.

She tried to be my friend for two years after that, until I relented. It was always bad for me. I didn't want to do it. But I ended up talking to her because it seemed like it was important to her.

Not too long ago I finally got my answer: Due to young-onset Parkinson's, drug abuse from 12 to 15, psychological abuse from her mother, sexual abuse from cousins and others she is too fuckin' broken. She apologized a month ago. After almost 4 years she apologized.

I even helped her recently with some food because she was mugged. Thing is, after that she insisted I visit her. It went fine.

But I've been deteriorating all this time. Deep depression, bipolarity and a bunch of other issues. I finally learned to kick out toxic people from my life. But I constantly tell the annoying members of my family to fuck off if they get me in a bad mood. They try to cope. They've been doing well and do not push my buttons so much,so things are better for them.

But this girl... I had an anxiety attack today. I knew she was seeing someone else very recently. I think (or have deeply convinced myself of this) she will NEVER want to come back to me. I'm okay with this, I hate her family because I witnessed in person the abuse they put her through.

But I broke, again. And I told her everything, not to make her feel guilty, but to make her realize I'm too broken to even be her friend. It hurts me, and I'll end up upsetting her. But I let her decide.

God, I wish I had booze.

>>18406764

>I constantly tell the annoying members of my family to fuck off if they get me in a bad mood. They try to cope. They've been doing well and do not push my buttons so much,so things are better for them.

you're an emotionally volatile asshole who makes his family walk on eggshells

>She wrongfully accused me of cheating and took a month to prepare a psychological bomb that drove me to a suicide attempt that I only knew about after I had done the deed

you intentionally failed suicide in order to manipulate a girl into feeling bad for wanting space from you

any more confessions, you sack of shit?

I don't mean anything.
I am nothing.
I'm a literal nobody.
If I were never born, nothing would change.
If I were to cease existing, it wouldn't matter to anybody.
People don't objectively mean anything, but they gain meaning in the subjective opinions of others.
I do not mean anything to anybody.
I wish I wasn't me.
I wish everything would just stop.
I wish I meant something to somebody.
Anybody.

>>18406774
Yep. Remember to use lotion when fapping to my story.

Oh, and that I don't play chess with pigeons.

>>18406778
(you)

My behaviour is outright reckless at this point. Been on a self destructive spiral for a long while now. Can't even think on it too hard let alone try to slow it down. I guess we'll figure out where this goes too then.

>>18406739
So do I.
I think we could satisfy our cravings if we're opposites.

Oh there's a new season of attack on titan. I'll watch an episode or two.

I just watched 11 episodes in a row. Welp.

Time to lay in bed for 6 hours before being able to finally fall asleep.

I have deep-seated trust issues (especially with regards to money and women) because of my parents.
They would constantly ask me how I was doing, what I was doing, et cetera, and always give their opinion, stated or silent, on whatever the fuck it is I'm doing. I feel like I'm not my own person, I'm still just their son, and it drives me crazy.
It's gotten to the point where I literally have an instinctive reaction to watch the door whenever I'm on the computer, and turn around if I hear any noises. At my worst, I feel like someone is constantly following me, like a bogeyman will run up behind me and pounce on me if I don't turn my back every so often.
I don't tell them about most of my problems, because then they're going to watch me like a fucking hawk GOD FUCKING DAMMIT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
I BECAME A NIGHT OWL BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I CAN TRUST THAT I'M ALONE.
FUCK.

awwwwwshit. I think there's a gay guy infatuated with me after a local event. no. no man, I was talking about the lack of qt right wing waifus, I'm not gay. fuck sake man.

>>18406818
And now I don't want to sleep because I'll probably have titan related nightmares.

For example, the other day I dreamed that giant Shreks were killing everyone. Eventually I realized it was a dream and forced myself to wake up. Except I was still dreaming. So I dreamed that I fell asleep again and what did I dream about? Giant Shreks.

I don't want giant dreams. They always run fast and it's hopeless. Why must all my dreams be nightmares? I've dreamed about the end of the world so many times. I miss my happy dreams.

>>18406859
I rarely dream, and whenever I dream, it's always super esoteric and weird.
Like one time, I shit you not, I was in a fantasy realm equivalent of a waterpark and was crossing the bridge over one of the water tube river rides and I met my brother- except it wasn't my brother, and he was actually a fake made out of ground beef. So I literally took off part of the fake's arm and started eating it, trying to force him to tell me where my brother was. I was crying, because I was so worried that my brother might have been in danger because he had been replaced.

I just feel hollow. Off and on, some times I'm fine but then come big bursts of an empty feeling. I don't know who I am anymore, or who I am supposed to be.

I want to tell my friends but I just don't feel like I can anymore. I feel like I bother them by constantly being like this, but I don't know how to help myself.

I think I need professional help but I can't afford it and I don't have time for the free services because of my job.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I tend to respond to people here on /adv/, mostly these threads. Not sure how much I have really assisted others, but it's nice to get a reply of thanks.
Sadly the experience I can spout now came at a price. So many people seem to go through the same, at least similar, to what I dealt with. I'm glad that I can provide some comfort, but God I would kill to have had been on the other side of these conversions. To have had someone tell me these things I know now before I lost the person I loved the most. This is a bad feeling, and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Well, I hope to continue providing some help to others, even if it's comfort from some anon on a vietnamese basket weaving interweb page.

>>18405779
I wanna die. I hate life and everyone in it and I can't stand being controlled by my human urges.

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>>18406513
I've read this three times now. You're amazing, anon, and thank you very much for your kind words.

Hey S, i hope we can open up to each other again. I think i just need to stop being a bitch and try :)

>>18405939

I have the same feels, anon. Everyone's a grownup and I'm just not keeping up with my peers. So bullshit :(

>look good
>get shit on for it
alright, yeah, I'm not a fat autistic neck beard, I still like it here alright. I'm not new, I'm not fucking, just some chad, I'm not a normie REEEEEEEEEEEEE.

>tfw they see me as a normie now that there's a person to put to all the things I've done.
I think that's what's happening. I'm being rejected because I don't fit the mold. they think I'm from the donald ffs.

why am I still here, just to suffer?

>>18406537

Pretty sure you stand a chance, anon. A lot of these chicks act all tough but they are sweet and soft inside. Put your dick in her and come back to tell us about it.

>>18406576

Lol I'm outaa school and I still hate everyone. So idk maybe it's normal?

>>18406962

Aww gl anon

this is why this was a bad idea.

So a few weeks after my (failed and heartbroken) attempt at befriending someone on here, I finally learned from my mistakes, moved on, and found a number of people online that I click with... But some nights like this, after hours of engaging/fun conversations, I feel suddenly so empty and alone. The realization hits me: these online friends aren't real :(

Or maybe it's just the human condition to feel lonely. Even when surrounded by people.

I also feel a bit ungrateful because I've been searching so long for a connection. Now that I have them in abundance (relatively speaking), how could I not appreciate what I have? :\

>tfw constantly get hate from people because in some way you make them feel bad about their life.
it doesn't matter how low you came from, it doesn't matter how bad it's been, it's not an excuse for looking better, or doing better, or being more witty, or whatever some random person gets insecure about.

every time. it's why it was nice here with the anonymity. now that's broken.

I can't believe how much your mental abuse has taken a toll on me, I can't believe I didn't see it while it was happening, and now you've fucked up my ability to interact with anyone normally. Thanks, fucker. I am now the insecure fucknut that I used to make fun of for not being strong enough to stand up for themselves and speak their feelings.

>>18405964
please god for me and yourself and for all the good people at home dont get into alt girls.

>>18406921

I also try to give kind advice here, and have experienced similar feelings of wishing to receive similar care or advice. Wanting reciprocation is normal, especially when you've gone through tough times yourself and no one has helped you through them but yourself. Thank you anon, for being one of those kind souls on /adv/, sharing your experience and helping others who are in need of your advice. You (and others like you) are one of the main reasons I still come back to this board. You are a pillar of strength.

And most people do care and want to help, even when they don't know how. I truly believe this even when it is hard to see.

My ex called me a psychopath. I spammed her with texts and calls after she broke up with me because I wanted an explanation on why, but she didnt say anything then I finally got an answer. She said she was afraid of me. She said I was harassing her. She said I was a terrible person that was trying to manipulate her. Everyone told me shes wrong but I'm inclined to believe her. Shes the person i spent the most time with. I dont know what to believe anymore. I feel like I lost myself.

I live in Hawaii. Its such a small island. Everywhere I go reminds me of her. I dont know what to do. My friend told me he could get me a job and some housing at Yosemite. But I dont know. Its so drastic. And I'm afraid of missing college to go on some journey to "find myself"

I dont know what to do.

>>18406994
Thank you :)

She's kinda desperate for a girl. I'll keep my guard up.

>>18407033

I think you've placed a lot of power in her hands, and understandably so, as she was the person closest to you. I believe you needed confirmation and closure from her, but she was unwilling to handle it or give that to you. She is unable to provide your needs, so it's easiest to blame you. "You're crazy, you're needy, you're a psychopath". Psychopaths are real but make up such a tiny percentage of our world. Pretty sure you don't fall into the category, you honestly wouldn't even be questioning yourself if you were one.

Anyway, my advice is to spend some time learning more about yourself. Spend time with people you trust. Explore your passions, ambitions, and your goals. All wounds heal with proper care and enough time. GL anon.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON.

>hang out with new people
>seems to go well, everyone having a good time
>later
>sudden hate, what seems like insinuations
>generally being dicks
>posting my name here of all places
they know not what they do or the people that lurk here for me. what the fuck is this.

I don't know what to do anymore.

You could have intervened! You could have turned my pathetic excuse of a life around!

I trusted you!

I did what I had to do. I thought you would play your part!

I am full of hatred towards you now.

>>18407047
Thank you. Maybe I do need a little help controlling my emotions, but I hope I'm not crazy.

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>two years ago accidentally made it seem like a guy asked me out
>mom says "really...?" in this pleasantly surprised tone as if she thought it'd never happen

Thanks mom for giving me permanent self-image issues

>was fatter then but still haunts me
>not even my own mom believes in me

>>18406494
just fix it with him. or tell him. dont be daft

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Before I began studying abroad, I've always thought that those people who manage to score the tickets to study abroad are all well educated and decent people. But, boy, was I wrong.

Was farting on top of other people something your parents taught you? Was dropping other's cup of water and just walk away without so much an apology common sense to you? Was talking shit back to people when they point out what you did wrong was human decency to you? Fuck you asshole, even dogs can learn when taught properly and they don't back at the people living under the same roof with them. Fuck you. Fuck you hard, I hope a car runs over you one of these days.

Fuck the sun.

I recently moved, and my new place is great. But there's one thing I really, really hate about it, especially now. And that's that the two bedrooms, one of which is my computer room, are in the sun the entire fucking morning and early afternoon. Especially the computer room. It's a sauna in here, right now. The rest of the house is normal.

I've never loved rain more than now. Every morning where there's rain is fucking awesome in my book. I can't wait until it's fall again. Fuck the sun, and fuck summer. I don't see how anyone could enjoy sitting in the heat all the time. Maybe this is why people from hot places are so angry all the time. I know I would be.

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After coming to terms with myself and the pain that has been worked upon me i can't help but notice how the majority of people have been hurt and the way they deal with that shapes them as a person. Take, for example, the vast majority of homosexuals have been molested by a male family member or someone else very close to them in their childhood.
It's difficult to put into words how i feel about all of this. I feel an incredible amount of pity for people who have been hurt. I also feel an immense amount of hatred for those who would use these weaknesses in people for their own gain, be it wealth of political power.

I don't know.

>>18405779
At this point all I want is to divorce my wife and move on with my and my daughters lives. There's so much to consider before I drop the bombshell on her like how I can keep my daughter (my wife would likely move 1700kms away when we separate). Then I think what if the courts let her take my daughter from me? Am I better off killing both of us before she catches on? This entire thing is just fucked

It's 4-fucking-9.

My niece needs to sleep at a normal child's time, she starts preschool in 2 days. It's time to stop acting like you're eternally 16.

You ever notice that women who broadcast they want a drama-free relationship either look like they're chin-deep in that shit themselves or they write off shit as drama simply because it's over their heads?

Yeah.

>meet friend at party. we hug, etc.

>go to the backyard to catch up , sit at a picnic table

>suddenly, she fixes her eyes on mine

>tells me she had been living in a homeless shelter, and that she was raped multiple times. her abusive ex-boyfriend has scourged her life and she's considering an out-of-state rehab center to be safe. tells me this without once breaking her gaze

>...then

>“HI ANON! HAHA HOPE WE’RE NOT INTERRUPTING YOUR CONVERSATION”

>an older couple is already pulling up chairs next to us

>“DO YOU REMEMBER US, WE TOOK YOU ICE SKATING IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME YOU GO TO X COLLEGE, HOW ABOUT THOSE OHIO WINTERS HUH?”

>“uh, yeah, it took some adjustment but I like it there, heh...”

>then we sink into silence for several minutes

>the husband never talks. wife sporadically voices some dry observation about the party, to which I reply with matching boredom

>my friend stares at the table

>several more minutes pass

>THE OLD PEOPLE DON’T FUCKING LEAVE

>>18406633
I know the person I abused doesn't come here but it's as if this message could be written by her to me. Truthfully you've pretty accurately described my behavior and feelings and though I miss her with all my heart, I also hate her and would abuse her again for crossing me. It's amazing how different people can have the same experiences, shows me I must have some kind of pathology. I bet even as bad as he as hurt you, a small part of you misses him, how he was in the beginning. If hes anything like me he feels strongly that he needs you but would hurt you given the chance. It has taken the utmost restraint and constant prayer for me not to dismantle her life. I know enough about her to absolutely ruin her but deep down in my dark and calloused heart I genuinely love her and the best thing for me to do is try to forget she exists.

I'm not with my fiancee anymore. I couldn't be sadder.

Can you stop blaming me for shit, are you too dense to see you did just as much nasty things? And you did those intentionally first, so how is me retaliating make me in the wrong. But no, you were a perfect little angle who did no wrong, weren't you. Fuck you're a liar.

-Women- tore my heart thin.
I've never been much overseen by women, but all long term relationships have turned to shit. It might be my fault, but not once have you told me what the reason for your shit behavior has been, other than some stuff that only concern me and my life, not at all yours or ours. I fucking hate you - always trying to find a problem where there is none because the problem actually is YOU but self-apologetic mental gymnastics got you to overlook that and try to stick it to me.

"I did that, but it's cause I felt like you maybe didn't love me or because you did that think a while ago that we talked about. Either way I'm not taking blame or fixint myself - you just need to be a MAN"
-Women
I have an issue with you=you turn the tables on me
You have an issue with me= doesn't matter what I do, in the end "I don't get you" and the shitstorm will continue/be brought up whenever you like

Go to fucking hell

I think of sex so much. I think about it at least once a day and I don't really want to. I'm not even interested in fucking another person or getting into a relationship, and the scenarios I imagine never include myself. I want to die a virgin, honestly. It's just a pain in the ass having these thoughts because I feel they are polluting my spirit.

>>18407047

this is horrible advice

you have no idea what this person has done to make her think he's a psycho

he could be calling her 24/7 for all you know, don't be sympathetic before you get the whole story

he even said he has troubles "controlling his emotions" aka he likely has abusive outbursts and you're feeding his denial

>>18407627

It's just reflective of a punitive and entitled value system, many men pass this along in their families.

You want to destroy her for "crossing" you because you don't believe she has the right to her own decisions. People who fundamentally respect other peoples' right to self-determination don't ever feel "crossed".

>>18407724
You also don't know anything about him. The anon youre replying to is assuming the best while youre assuming the worst. Don't act like youre any better.

>>18407745

That anon completely disregarded the glaring red flags and your willful ignorance is telling

>>18407724
>he even said he has troubles "controlling his emotions" aka he likely has abusive outbursts and you're feeding his denial
Thats pretty presumptuous anon. What I meant by controlling my emotions is that I act on my emotions. I feel like I want to talk to her so I call her or write a long paragraph of my feelings and send it to her.
I have never gotten angry with her, only a weepy mess.

>>18407749
I have said nothing on the matter. So dont tell me I have a "willfull ignorance" you twat. I'm just saying don't make assumptions either way about the dude.

>>18407724
>he could be calling her 24/7
Also I wasnt calling her everyday. I only called her like once a week. And yes I know that I shouldnt be calling her at all I just wanted to clear that up.

I got put on duloxetine for anxiety but I'm afraid they're going to fuck my head up even further

How do I tell a therapist, probably one in training and one I might see on campus doing the same course I eventually want to end up doing, that I have had no friends for 7 years, horrible self-control and discipline issues, have fucked up a lot of things in my life, and don't have anybody to actually talk about things with or reach out to when I really need someone except for a taiwanese clay moulding forum.

>>18407198
Psychopaths have a lack of emotions. That you're feeling what you're feeling now means you're not one. This girls sounds toxic as fuck by the way. You were obviously in emotional distress after she ghosted you and she just let you swing in the wind then turned it around on you after you were done spilling your guts out. You've done nothing wrong here anon unless you threatened to harm her in your texts or voicemails.

Move on anon and find someone else that genuinely cares about you because this girl did not.

>>18407724
Ghosting is emotional terrorism after you've been in a relationship with someone for an extended period of time. These actions of his are a normal, healthy reaction to this type of tactic used by mentally unhealthy people.

>>18407782
>You've done nothing wrong here anon unless you threatened to harm her in your texts or voicem
To be fair to her tho it is harassment for him to call her and text her when she doesnt want to talk.

yes she is a bitch but there are boundaries.

>>18405779
I was a lazy stoner the last 2 years of high school, i've quit now and am currently taking a year off before Uni. The problem is, I haven't done anything... I have some vague travel plans but I need a job first. I can't sleep at night and it hinders my productivity, doesn't help that I'm also addicted to technology.

>>18407743
>You want to destroy her for "crossing" you because you don't believe she has the right to her own decisions
Or maybe she did some nasty shit to him how fucking stupid are you. But no women are never at fault for anything ever

>>18407789
Looking for answers and emotional outbursts are natural reaction to a breakup situation. Love isn't logical. Love isn't cut and dry. It doesn't start and stop on a dime. She is at fault for ghosting him after long-term relationship and expecting him to be able to switch off emotions the way she is able to do so.

Mentally ill people are experts at turning things around and placing blame on the victims because the victim responds to their psychological assault and it's much easier for them to stay calm and point the finger. This also absolves them from having to take any blame for their actions because they can now just say, "well look at him he's so emotional he's a psychopath." and everyone will believe them because on the surface it looks one way but the reason for this emotional distress is never thought about.

>>18407047
>>18407745
There are different degrees to psychopathy/sociopathy, and it's not rare at all. Some people are just stuck on the insecurity bred ego and act like psychopaths as well.

J,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know how these feeling arose, or how I'm going to get rid of them. I love you so much, more than I've ever loved anyone, but something inside me is telling me that I want to/need to leave. I don't know what I want anymore.

I have no way of telling if these are my true feelings or not anymore. I just want to make things work and be happy with you, that's all. I don't care what it takes to make it work, I don't care if I'm miserable for the rest of my life - I can't lose you. You're too important to me.

I don't know how you did it, but you somehow became a part of me, and now I can't let you go. I love you.

I'm sorry that I'm so confused. It hurts, but we'll make it. I promise.

>>18406712
I am not healthy either. Veteran level alcoholism. I acknowledge all I should have done differently. While things ended, you deserve the opportunity to be happy. And I'm sorry. If I could do it all again, I would. But I would be kinder and sweeter and treat you like the man you are. Kills me that no one will look at me that way again though. :/

I wish i was with rich parents so I can go anywhere , and do anything I want without worrying, but im stuck being with poor parents and have to work for anything which i dont want

>>18407890
I'm sorry, too.
I don't know why, it hurts so much we're so into each other. Neither of us can talk about this because it's heavy shit.

I tried getting rid of mine, but this passion still burns within me. It's agonizing that my heart yearns for you, but I felt you'd destroy me when I attempt to ask you out.

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>break up with bf
>gain feelings for his best friend
>feel like the fucking scum of the earth
I AM NOT by any stretch of the imagination gonna pursue a relationship with his friend but by god do I hate myself.

Jesus fuck, I feel like quitting my majors. There's no way I can pass all my exams, I don't have enough time to prepare myself/revise the material, and my exam hours overlap.

I getting stalked by pet flippers who are pissed off that I posted a picture of my dog on craigslist because I lied about where I got it and shes in the picture. Threats to sue are everywhere. Told her to not contact me. She still leaves messages of "I SoRry I DiD DAt" and "IZe wAtcHING U LIed ONn CrAIGlIsyt"
I swear they are retarded.

All I wanted to do was watch a stream and now I'm fucking pissed because it won't load no matter what I do. I've had it with this stupid shit.
>Can't update or install new versions of chrome
>Can't update or install new versions of flash
>But also, can't uninstall chrome
>CAN'T UNINSTALL FLASH
Why the hell does absolutely NOTHING fucking work? Not even ONE single step, I can't get anywhere and there is absolutely no indication as to why. FUCK GOOGLE AND FUCK ADOBE.

Jessica,

Sorry for gaslighting you after we broke up. Seeing you hanging out with your childhood friend that you claim was just a friend was not something I would ever believe. And it was only days after we broke up. I wish I kicked you out in a more straight forward manner rather than resort to pettiness.

Silvers

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gonna hurt myself again tonight, why do i keep feeling like this for months

>>18407890
initials?

I want to die

I think my girlfriend is cheating. Desperately need help

Ive come to accept that i have genital herpes from fucking a milf, even with a condom. I have gf who doesn't know, but shes had tests done for hpv. Idk if she didnt get a test for herpes. Just going to break up with her and kil myself after our lease is over.

I feel so crazy right now that I have to stop myself from harassing you in pms and asking you to be my internet boyfriend. All this stress is making me lose my mind and I desperately need someone reasonable to tell me to calm the fuck down.

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probably my last post on 4chan, bitting the dust tonight

see you guys on the others side, wherever that is

>>18408288
>16
Fuck out of here underage fag.

>>18408239
Good

>>18408288
>16 year old who thinks he's a sociopath

Lmao, just how much more of a walking cliche can you be?

>>18408288
You barely lived life, idiot.

If you think your life peaks at 16, you're a lazy shit that thinks society owes you just for breathing. You're not special, you're nothing. You have a choice to be more than nothing or at least find your own meaning but you're just being Captain Sadsack because you feel the ennui of being a reject. Get a constructive hobby, dipshit and see about getting some counseling too. Everyone has problems and yours matter to a point, but you're not the first or only one to have them.

Find the help and accept that it doesn't make you weak to seek it out or get it. I recommend 211's website for your state if you're an American. Otherwise, hopefully there's some kind of information line in your neck of the woods. Hopefully you can find some for free or a low, low cost.

>>18408258
>I have to stop myself from harassing you in pms and asking you to be my internet boyfriend
y tho? I'd say yes in a second. also, calm the fuck down, take a breath, maybe get something to eat or drink, pet a based pupper or something, and relax.

There's no one else, it was you. It's always been you. I love you. I think about you all the time. I don't want anyone else and it kills me that we keep hurting each other like this.

>>18408204
done
blood's the only thing that makes me smile lol

i stuck a lego down my pee pee hole

Hah, I'm really horrible. I don't know what to do.

I can't hurt x. But I want to be held by y again.

I wouldn't mind seeing you. Whenever I see you it's always entertaining. You act so weird. I can tell you're nervous. Don't be nervous. I'm so far down the line you can't hurt me anymore. But again, I'd like to see you around sometime.

Sometimes I feel like telling all the people I love to just get the fuck out of my life. Sometimes I want to make them hate me so they won't want me around and I won't have to burden them with myself. And if they aren't in my life anymore then I don't have to miss them and want to be around them all the time.

I get this knee jerk reaction to withdraw and I hate it and I wish I could just be a normal fucking person.

I don't wanna move in with you. I don't know if I can handle living with 10 fucking people in one house. I'm sorry but I can't do this.

I fell in love three years ago and got rejected. We never had a relationship or even dated for that matter. Since then, it's like I've lost my soul and can't find it. None of my prior interests leave me fulfilled and I've tried to find others to no avail. To fill the void, I've tried dating, sex, not dating, no sex, moving, buying things, drinking, not drinking, exercise, reading, social media, cooking, traveling, new friends, hanging out with old friend ... and nothing has helped. I want to chunk my life, move to a deserted island, and sit by the ocean all day.

It's been 3 years without relief and I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hate the soulless person I've become and miss the energy and vitality I once had for life. I know I can't live the rest of my life this way and am in the process of changing my environment again. I hope this time I find peace.

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I wish I was brave enough to take a picture of myself and go on tinder.

I'm 23 and never had a bf, yet people compliment my looks/personality often. The only men who have been attracted to me were in relationships or married.
I make friends and get invited out often, but no-one I've met can make that commitment.

On top of that, I need to move out of this abusive hole I live in, but I can't afford to do so unless I move out with someone.

I can cook, clean and keep people happy goddamnit.
REEEEEEEEEE

>>18408392
Yay. I love you too. See you tonight

>>18407624

Lol old people never fucking leave tbqh

>>18407724

Uhh.. Kek ok.
Anon obv self inserting
bc it's always about ((you))

You know what?

I wish shit didn't feel like such a chore. In practice, I want to do shit, improve my life, and generally be a credit to society and myself. But everything, from mundane stuff to my own desires feels like a fucking chore. I don't even enjoy gaming and browsing anymore.

Oh, and I'm embarrassingly old. I'm what happens when you adolescents and NEETs don't get your shit together. For the love of God, don't be like me. Do something, anything. Write that edgy poetry, go to that furcon, whatever you think you can't do because it's weird, embarrassing, difficult, etc. just do it and make a habit out of it. Or you'll end up enjoying nothing at all.

>>18408512
desu you are probably cute enough, you probably need to go outside more often to increase the likelyhood of a guy approaching you. Go anywhere you think a guy would go to to meet women. Go to bars too but dont resort to acting like a whore or someone your not as youll attract the wrong type. gl and get out there you are only 23

>>18407785

Except "ghosting" aka "no contact" usually happens when an emotionally healthy person has to get the fuck away from a psychopathic ex who keeps harassing them you nitwit

If you're "not sure" whether or not you're a psychopath you're aware that you have some seriously fucked up behaviours but you're not sure if you want to take on the label of "psychopath" as an identity. Simple as that. Only edgy retards WANT to be called a psycho. He knows what he's done. She obviously wants to get the hell away from him for a reason.

M
I love you so much. I'd do anything for you and I'm so sad that you're not in my life anymore. I dream about you everyday and I know how much I fucked this all up. I never used you for sex and if I had you back I'd prove that. I wish you gave me one last chance cause I miss you so much. I don't want anyone else I just want you, and it kills me that you have a new guy but at least you're happy cause that's what I want for you. I love you like you'll never know even if you do hate me, and I'd do anything for another shot with you Morgan. I wish it never ended

>>18407798

Maybe she's not "turning off" her emotions, maybe she's already grieved the relationship as an emotionally healthy person who realized that his abusive ("psychopathic") behaviours make him unacceptable for a long-term relationship partner.

Maybe she is genuinely sad that the relationship has ended but she has set APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES for herself and is processing the breakup with friends and family instead of shitting her emotions all over him as he's done to her.

When I was constipating I tried giving myself an enema to get shit going again.
... I liked it.
(btw. it didn't help. Unless you want water in your butt, don't try it.)

Unload. Reload. I'm imagining your lying whore mouth at the end of my barrel.

>>18408609
OP here. I don't think she ever wanted a serious relationship. She had this dream of having sex with 3 guys before she got married and I was her first bf. I know thats not the point of what you were trying to say I just wanted to clear that up and touch on that a little.

I think I'm officially dead inside. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

>>18408598
>Except "ghosting" aka "no contact" usually happens when an emotionally healthy person has to get the fuck away from a psychopathic ex who keeps harassing them you nitwit
You must be really fucking retarded if thats the only reason a person would go no contact.

Theres no such thing as a one singular reason for doing or acting a certain way you fucking idiot.

girl i like told me she likes my friend now im cucked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>18406411
I'm 22, and my primary fuck buddy is in his late 30s. He's an absolute gentleman.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex with older individuals, provided they did not use your lack of experience to coerce you into acts you didn't really want to do.

The question now is do you feel bad because culture tells you it's wrong, or did this 43-year old use your lack of experience against you?

I miss her when she's gone but I don't feel anything when she's with me

>>18405779
I FUCKING HATE MY JOB. The fucking stress of lifting constant fucking furniture while fucking burrito of a co worker who doesnt know jack shit About english yells at me in another language because I'm.not doing things his way.

I miss being in love with my ex, I miss high school, I missed the opportunity to go to college right after high school

Im a fucking failure of a person. I wanted to be an artist but now I'm just a piece of shit. Fuck this world.

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>>18408654
> She has a fantasy for multiple partners

So she told you about a fetish. And a pretty damn vanilla one at that. You wanted to "touch on that a little" in a hamfisted attempt to gain sympathy, refocus the attention on YOUR pain, and how that pain couldn't possibly be your fault. This is an advice board, not your personal pity-party.

Here's some real advice; if you cannot accept that your own behavior is what drives people away, this cycle will repeat itself over, and over, and over again until your completey alone with several restraining orders.

>>18408667
I agree, there are plenty of reasons to cut off contact and jumping to conclusions is bad. I personally can't think of any that aren't about personal safety though.

I'm almost 30, handicapped, can't find a job I can do comfortably for more than $10 an hour. Since opportunities drop off at 25, I may as well die because I am done.

>>18408900
>I agree, there are plenty of reasons to cut off contact and jumping to conclusions is bad. I personally can't think of any that aren't about personal safety though.
Because theyre a bitch and dont care about the other person to compromise?

Seriously cut this shit out. You're honestly retarded.

>>18408900
>So she told you about a fetish. And a pretty damn vanilla one at that. You wanted to "touch on that a little" in a hamfisted attempt to gain sympathy, refocus the attention on YOUR pain, and how that pain couldn't possibly be your fault. This is an advice board, not your personal pity-party.
Its not really a fetish. Its a statement about how shes not willing to pursue a serious relationship until shes finished experiencing things with several partners.

>if you cannot accept that your own behavior is what drives people away,
Didnt he already talk about this and accept this? Also why is it suddenly all his fault now? To be honest it takes two people to make a relationship work and we dont know how she was.

>>18408900
>I personally can't think of any that aren't about personal safety though.
You just arent trying hard enough.

>>18408900
>So she told you about a fetish.
How was that a fetish? It sounded like shes just a girl equivalent of a fuckboy

>>18408654
Dude just ooh eeh ooh ah aah ting tang walla walla bing bang

I'm paranoid that my crush might be dating my friend. Idk if I can deal with this.

>>18408917
>Implying I'm >>18408609
> Implying I never said she couldn't be a bitch too


And to your point, compromise could be an option, but what does compromise mean to the individuals involved. She owes him nothing, nor does he owe her anything so I'm not sure what there is left to talk about.

Also I'mma need a breakdown as to my retardation. If I suck explain how so we can actually continue the debate.

>>18408928
>Its a statement about how shes not willing to pursue a serious relationship until shes finished experiencing things with several partners.

I may have misunderstood then. If so, then maybe he should have broken up with her. Not in a mean way, but simply a matter of saying "I need to be in a relationship where long term commitment is the goal. I understand that may not be the time in your life for that so no hard feelings, but we gotta split" or something to that effect. Extending things further can lead to toxicity.

I recently had to cut off all contact with the only person I ever loved because they couldn't love me back and they need someone better than me but still fumed when I did this. I don't know. It's probably better for us this way because we were definitely more than just friends. Or I kept forcing that atmosphere. Why are feelings so goddamn difficult. Now I'm really sad thinking about their dimples

I wonder if God makes sure I can't get a girlfriend so that I become a priest

I'm so confused by our conversation. I don't understand why you sought me out to talk if it wasn't to make a change. I haven't thought about you in months, yet I feel like you wasted my time and uprooted my life of carefully laid distractions with this conversation.

All you did was talk in circles about what you were unable or weren't strong enough to do for me when we were together, instead of talking about what changes could be made to fix that. All you wanted was a pity party and to relieve whatever guilt you had. It's not fucking fair that you know what could be done to compromise and fix things, but you want to have your cake and eat it too, so you won't.

>>18406576
You should do your homework better, the more you do your homework better, the more you'll realize that everyone at your school is going through kind of the same shit and it'll be easier to bond with them.

I feel like I have to write the ultimate best letter to this girl.

I don't feel anything. I feel devoid of any emotion, I'm merely existing from day to day. Like a husk. I browse this website to pass the time.

You're very attractive.. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with. I'd do almost anything to make it work within my limited means. I'll keep dreaming of you even if it's to no avail.

Today I found out a friend is cheating on his girlfriend.
I have cheated myself and it was the biggest regret of my life.
It is really sad.

that look, that confidence is sexy as hell and makes me want you push your face into the pillows and impregnate you.

>>18409149
and that's a weird way to say it but it makes me want to fuck you into next week and start a family with you all at once.

>>18409053
You've posted in this in like every GIOYC thread I've seen in the past few weeks. Are you hoping your subject will read it?

If that's really a possibility you're okay with, it doesn't seem like such a huge jump to just tell them that outright.

I spent a lot of time and effort on a secret santa present because I had to give it to some guy that I admired. I found out he was quite the jerk, he bullied me and he hasn't even opened the present yet after a month. I want to disfigure his face with a hammer or something.

>>18409216
>secret santa present
>hasn't been opened in a month
>june
what?
>what did they mean by this?

>>18405784
Roll the corner where the fold happens under.

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>>18408164
click the top left of the search bar and follow pic related

>>18405784
First post best post

I can't wear jeans or anything properly, even with a belt. My ass crack always shows over the top and I'm not even fat.

If I pull it up high enough to cover then my balls are literally wedged horizontally against the top of my thigh. That is not a sustainable way to move around in public. Also even then it gradually slips down as I move around no matter if the belt is so tight I get literal crevices around my belly button.

tl;dr somehow too retarded to wear clothes

>>18407890
C?

well I had a meltdown just like I expected too, but at least this time I didn't completely shutdown so that's good, right?

oh who the fuck am I kidding I'm a goddamn mess and a failure as a child and human being. How can I support others if I can't even support myself?

>>18406833
>I BECAME A NIGHT OWL BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I CAN TRUST THAT I'M ALONE.
Holy shit anon you just created an epiphany for me.

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You know what? Shut the fuck up. Stop trying to act superior and talk down to me since I'm unemployed, broke and struggled with substance abuse (two months clean). You only manage to squeak along by begging relatives for paid yard work or 'odd jobs'. You live with your mom still, have never held a job and don't even have a fucking license to drive.

Just shut the fuck up. I'm tired of it.

>>18406859
I know this is bad but I genuinely LOL'd at the image of a bunch of giant Shreks running through a city stomping people like an army of Godzillas.

I don't wish that I had not gone to college since I need the degree, but I wish I had done more networking and internships instead of focusing on GPA. Nobody cares about grades, they care about connections and how well you can boost their ego with free work. Now im stuck in a dead end situation where entry level jobs in the field require actual years of relevant experience (trust me I've tried applying anyway), and im basically as square one taking jobs that anyone on the street could get and im not sure if I should be mad at myself or feel tricked. My parented lived in a time where they could get a high paying job right out of HS and wonder why I cant do the same.

I need help, but now's not a good time. My family is stressed out, so I should wait 'till everything's fine right?
Just like the past 10 years, someday I'll get my chance...

>>18407794
He admits in his own post he wants to destroy her life for leaving him because he abused her, not for actually doing anything actually bad to him. He full-on ADMITS abusing her, how dense can you be? Can men do no wrong in relationships or do you just not read

C
I'm not sure what do to with you anymore. When you reached out I thought it would be our second chance, but now I see it falling apart again. I want nothing more than to take you and run away from everything but nothing I do seems to change how you feel. Everything is there, I dont know what you think is missing but I wish it was different. I love you
Jo

>>18408403
No you didn't

>>18408164

Try using Firefox.

>>18409266

Wear longer shirts.

>ass crack always shows

How is your butt higher than your waistline?

>>18409273

I'm not the poster you replied to, but I'm a C that is sad about a J and can't lose her. But I guess I already did and I don't know what to do about it.

I'd give up memes for u, I swear. And I could live off of my memes. But u hate them.

I'm so lonely and the people who I thought were my friends just keep bullying and harassing me now and I don't know why.

I want to die

>>18409332
>Wear longer shirts
It's the only solution I have

>How is your butt higher than your waistline
It's not, I just can't get anything to wear that goes all the way up to my waistline even if I have a wedgie at the same time. It's like my pelvic area is abnormally tall. At a stretch I can pull jeans up almost to my belly button and then even with a belt on tight they sink down to the bottom of my abdomen.

I mean what the fuck is wrong with me?

>>18409360
Same. Want to be best friends?

My brain feels like it's deteriorating and I can no longer think properly. I keep telling doctors yet they all say everything is fine. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what this means for me.

I hate you. I used to date you but you took advantage of me being 15 when you were 19. You are a worthless piece of shit and I still talk to you because I have to. Someday you could bring back things and ruin my current relationship and you will ruin my relationship in our friend group. I'm stuck listening to you and you won't leave me be. You compared me to someone of your unreachable standards. When you first saw a picture of me you photoshopped me to look like your ideal race of girl and it ruined my already low teenage self esteem. You always tell me about how your life is hard when you have everything handed to you on a silver platter. You randomly message me sexual things and I hate it and I am disgusted by it. You made me even more depressed and told me I should die and made me almost kill myself. Now you're the suicidal one and I wish you would just do everyone a favor and die. You're a fat ugly neckbeard yet you told me I wasn't good enough for you when I'm a pretty girl. Now I have an attractive boyfriend who treats me good because that's what I deserve. You still hold me back and I can't get rid of you. I just want you gone already. Don't you understand that I don't want to talk to you? How do I get rid of you already?

Why are you guys so mean to me? What did I ever do to you? I only ever tried to be your friend. You're shitty people and I regret every minute I spent talking to you and convincing myself that some of you were my friends over the last couple years. Go fuck yourselves.

>>18409360
Good, fucking kill yourself already.

>>18409419
Abbie?

>>18409431
Fun when you realize it was all a mirage in your own mind.

>>18409431
do you have rope? if so, wrap it around your neck, tie it off on something tough and jump

>>18409459
Nope but that's terrible that someone else went/is going through something like this too.

Check your Match account!
Geesh

>>18409431
stop being around shitty people?

I have a crush on my best friend's boyfriend...
He has a crush on me, I think.

>outside
>friend and boyfriend outside
>friend turns her back
>boyfriend winks at me, and from me reading his lips, he says, "call me"
> i smile
--

I want to pursue a relationship with this guy, but this is one of my closest friends.
I keep telling myself it's not my fault.
I dont want to break them up.
But I also have feelings.

>>18409504
>I keep telling myself it's not my fault.
Him apparently wanting to cheat on your friend is not your fault.

Pursuing a relationship with him WHILE HE'S DATING YOUR FRIEND would be, though. So don't do that.

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A friend keeps one-upping me, and he's not even my friend. Hell, I've never even met the guy and he lives on the other side of the country.

He's a friend of the girl I'm dating, and she won't shut up about him. Insists he's just a friend, but brings him up every chance she gets. She says she's interested in me, but suddenly the topic 'this friend' is back.

I've rescued a wounded and abandoned bird and taken care of him for years? Yeah, well, he got two hawks as a gift once.
I found new work and start in a few days? Must be pretty rough stuff, she can tell by how he's doing at his unrelated job.
You know all these languages and you're learning new ones? That's cool and all, but look at these languages he knows.

Not sure why I'm sticking around after all these months, really. We're great together, but she dodges serious us-talk, shoots me down with excuses most of the time and indirectly panders to the guy on her tumblr while there's nothing about me.
Seriously, painful stuff when there's
>I love you, but it's been so long since we last spoke
despite spending all day together with romantic shit and telling her how much she means to me.

You ever been in a room with a girl youre dating/really into and 3 other guys she's fucked?

lol it was some cold-ass shit

>>18409419
bump because i actually want a solution to how i can get rid of an old online friend that im in a friend group with. i hate him and he constantly makes sexual jokes towards me

>>18409191
Your sense of time is off, as I have posted this in 3 threads. 2 have archived within the last few days.

>>18409029
I'm in this same situation, except we work together and it's hard to just stop contact.
I've thought about quitting, but I won't find a job that pays as well as the one I have.

I know it's stupid, but I find women who consider themselves "princesses" even when they're pushing 40 interesting in a kinky way.

>>18409821
What is a princess?

>>18409829
It's just a title but generally it implies being pampered as though one's still a young maiden in the prime of their life, being waded on hand and foot (possibly literally). Different from a "queen" which implies growing past that and commanding one's respect rather than being expectant on it.

Princesses are spoiled but queens will eventually accept you as worthy.

>>18409625
why would you enter into that situation? why would you ever let her enter into that situation? anyone that stays in contact with exes is bad news. the fact your girl is in contact with three and you both hung out with them? that's straight up retarded.

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7/7 killed.

I have no game and a big penis

>>18409842
>Princesses are spoiled but queens will eventually accept you as worthy.
Interesting.

>>18410011

Just wait for Sony's E3 conference.

I've lost all my friends. I'm not sure if it' should because they ghosted me because they didn't like me or somehow my anxiety that they no longer liked me pushed them away, but whatever the reason I'm alone. I've been doing nothing but play video games and work. I'm worried I'll eventually lose my ability to even talk to people. What should I do?

>>18409419

He sounds disgusting, why do you let him have the upper hand?? Kill any feelings you have towards him. He means nothing. He is nothing. End of story

I miss having sex. Not the act itself, I can't even orgasm. I miss having a guy touch me all over. Having my body against his. Being intimate with someone. Oh I'm sad.
I've only had sex with one guy in my life and I'm curious about how it's like with other guys. But I've only met one guy I liked since him, and it's not going too well.

I'm so sorry for hurting you Morgan. I can't forgive myself. I miss you and I'd kill to have you back so just let me have another shot so I can prove I'll never make the same mistake again

>>18410118
Sucks but whatever it is shit happened for a reason. Best you can do is learn from the mistake.

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>>18406948
I give what I can. Stay strong, you are more than you think so. Getting out of pit is fucking hard. Staying out of it, harder still, but it does get easier as you leave it's grasp.

Remember to smile every once in a while, even if it's just for yourself and the one you care for to see. You have been through worse. You will have clouds ahead, all of us do, but believe in yourself and each other and you will never be caught in the cold rain again. Stay warm anon.

Best of luck. Thing will be alright, and if they aren't, fight. Fight and make them alright.

its not that I don't want to be friends with you, its just that its hard to believe it when you say all that stuff about being so appreciative for what I do for you and how grateful you are we met while simultaneously flaking on at such short notice, lie to me about stuff, and even talk behind my back right in front of me to your best friend. I saw you texting her shit while we were all driving yesterday.

its kind of hard to be friends with someone like that.

>>18406513
>"I'm a little scared, but only because I can't believe that how good things can be."

I wish someone gave this advice to my ex. :(

I miss her.

>>18409369
Try longer t-shirts, also the tailoring term your looking for is "dropped crotch." if you are poorfag like me, medical scrubs have super low crotches and look like casual pants if you buy them in black or other neutral colors.

You want me to get out? to take a walk?

I told you, I'm not going to play the game. I'm not going to do what you want me to do.

Unless, of course, you do what I want first. Which is to give me my fucking medication.

which you didn't.

So....

Dont want to be a badass and travel the world. I just want to disappear and work a slightly above minimum wage job in a warehouse in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. No friends, no senpaitachi. Just me, work, and all the alone time I could hope for.

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>>18410211
>no senpaitachi
Huh thought I knew all the word filters

I'm 20 and life is going way to fast. I haven't even lost my virginity yet and I need to start looking for a full time job and eventually my own place. What the fuck, most of life is spent doing shit you dont wanna do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F28X8--2dFU

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>>18410181
I wish someone would have told me that.
The only reason I know this is because I was the one that went back. I was the one that pop his head out of the cave, got blinded by the brightness and reeled my head back inside.

Wisdom comes experience. I learned something I would trade away to get another chance.

So I feel you friend, as I wish I had this advice myself. I know what it is to miss, what is it to push away and lose.

Such is life. Nothing I can do but carry the lessons learned and pass them on. Helping others to see that things aren't as hopeless as they seem to look. Walk forward, and pick every little bit of learning one can get.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDLiVwpv89s

Fuck, I need help. I might be bipolar on top of being a severely depressed train wreck. I don't fucking know.

I just know that I get too emotional sometimes. It's been really bad lately and it doesn't help that one of my close friends has been flaking out on me lately. I understand that there's stuff going on in their life that gets in the way but it upsets me when the limited time I get to have with them is interrupted so often.

I care too much. I want too much. I feel like I'm bothering everyone. I just want to run away. I don't want anyone to be close to me anymore so they don't have to deal with me.

I'm just really fucking sad. I could cry and scream. I tried crying in the shower but the tears wouldn't come out and I didn't want anybody in the house to hear me. I just..... I know nobody will understand. I'll have to see if I can find a therapist. Maybe they'll be able to diagnose me and I could just get drugged up and turned into some kind of robot instead of feeling like this all the time.

>>18410110
>But I've only met one guy I liked since him, and it's not going too well.
what's going wrong?

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My birthday ended an hour ago. My mom (my only family) was the only one who really seemed to even care. Got no texts from any friends, a few generic facebook birthday wishes from people who used to know me; no gifts, no hangouts; just me and mom going downtown and walking around for a bit. I'm 19 now but I don't feel any older. I just feel more sad.

The really, really cute chick I knew from school but dont actually know hit me up on social media for like 4 exchanges of words before going dark again. She's out of my ballpark though: year older, artsy, has a direction in life, happy. It's a different girl every week, though. I get hooked on whoever gives me 5 seconds of attention.

I wish I was thinner, more built, but I cant get myself to work out. Literally everything in my life would change for the better if I took better care of myself but I'm too tired or apathetic to do anything of the sort.

I wish I took more risks, opportunities. I don't like being a shut-in but I'm too afraid to be anything other than nothing. Instead of being the protagonist of my own story, I'm everyone else's background character.
I just feel lost; I'm running out of time already. I just want to wake up somewhere different; as someone better.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and forget how I feel right now. It'll be just another day, and at night I'm just going lay in bed browsing this shitty website for memes, porn, and more porn.
I want more people in my life. people that are better than me; that can better me.
Archers-Brand New is a good song

I am not okay. I can't sleep and I'm so incredibly down. I can't stop thinking about suicide and I can't get the help I need. I don't want to die but I need some help real bad.

My butt hurts.

I feel bad for thinking it, but sometimes I really hate her. She seems so fucking needy and takes you away from spending time with me. It's not fair because she gets to see you every day and we're lucky if we can game together more than a couple hours a week. And even then she can't give you peace and has to talk in your ear the whole time.

I hate that she can do whatever the fuck she wants like go out with her friends and leave you at home or force you to go out together to see her friends. But your friends? Fuck no. You never get to hang out with any of us. If she's home then you HAVE to be home with her.

Or I don't know. Maybe it's you and not her. I'm just fucking mad because I would like to have some uninterrupted quality time with my best friend. I don't think I'm being unreasonable for wanting a bit of your time once a week since we never get to hang out in person.

I feel like I'm doomed to be a failure in all aspects of life, and I don't have anyone to share this with. My family I'm not even sure they like me, I can't trust them, my friends, more like acquaintances, are not even that close to me, it seems we just talk because we all are socially awkward. I'm 19 and in a shitty college because I didn't put my best in school to get into a nice one, in school I was... just there, never standing out because I didn't get good grades but didn't flunk everything, I fucking hate myself, I fucking hate the fact that I basically sealed my fate by not applying myself in school and I hate the fact that I'm so gullible that I believe that I can fix this unholy mess of a life I'm living and that I don't need to kill myself. The only thing I want right now is to go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist or someone who can help me to put my life together before it's too late, but I don't know how to tell my parents, I wouldn't really feel comfortable telling them all this.

It's very hard to live life as a guy. I think that I don't necessarily hate women, but I just envy how easy they have it in basically all aspects of life. Oh well, I'll keep going.

Im in love with my fiancee's best friend, who is my bestfriend's girlfriend.

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I have a really really bright future, but it doesn't matter, i've lost the last bit of hope and trust in people i had, in this world helping other people doesn't get you anywhere, i get praise because i always get stuff done, but that's all i am to them a fucking machine that gets stuff done, i can never show any kind of emotion because people only see it as an easy way to manipulate me, the last time i opened my heart to a group of people they manipulated me and when i didn't fail like they wanted, they got their ego hurt and looked for the only thing that still made me happy and kept me away from it until i finally broke down

i feel trapped i always have to keep smiling because when i stopped doing it my family tought i had brain damage and sent me to a psychologist and psychiatrist and then did test on my brain

no matter how much "succes" i get here i don't feel alive,i want to feel what it is to be truly free, there is just nothing for me here, please someone or something take me to a world where someone like me can feel alive, all i really want is real friends and freedom, im not even asking for love anymore, i just want a world where life it's worth living, i promise i'll do my best

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>>18405903
I really feel you. I also hate the fact that all these things I want to be, talking big and inspiring my friends, only to see them doing what I wanted to do and me being the sorry sack of shit I am today doing nothing useful.

>>18410324
Word for word. This post word for word describes me. Down to the period, anon.

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For the last 6 month or so I've had a real issue with wanting to violently attack people and expose their innards. It's extremely worrying because I consider myself a pacifist and haven't hurt anyone a day past primary school. What's worse is that my subconscious is also telling me to cannibalise them (haven't snapped yet, don't worry), I really need some serious help - I can tell - but I don't want to just go up to my regular therapist and tell her that half my brain is telling me to violently attack and devour people.

What do?

when I was in high school I was going through a lot, and people knew that.
I was a cocky asshole too, but I was too stupid to realize how dumb I was and how ugly I really was.

One day the teachers wanted me to do an IQ test, suspecting that I might have been gifted (120+), even though I was at a school for "dumb" people.
I scored high on the test, but 118 so I wasnt gifted.
Nothing changed though, I had to my last year at the same class level instead of 3 higher where I shouldve been according to the test.
When I graduated our headteacher spoke to me privately and said that if she could do it all over, she wouldve put me in a higher class from my first year.
This would make most feel confident I think.

but heres the thing. Im actually very impulsive and a bad problem solver, I have no social IQ either but that can be alright since the 2 arent related.

Some days I think back about it and wonder if it was all just a sham in an attempt to make me feel better or something?

>>18410211

Sounds similar to how I live.

Avoided drama as much as possible, work a shitty warehouse job.

Here's the thing about trouble.

Trouble is like an autistic kid who's never heard the word "no" before. It has no boundaries.
Just because you don't want it around, that doesn't mean it isn't going to chase you down, stick it's arms atound your shoulder and say "Hi old pal, it's been a long long time...".
That's trouble.

You can be the best fucker in the world. You can work hard all day every day. You can literally do 150% percent at work. 12 hours of work in an eight hour shift. Like I do.

But all it takes is one manager, one fucking manager to look at you and go "Hey. No!".
They'll do whatever it is they can do to make you life hell, sabotage your work. You'll eventually slip up and then they'll have more reasons to go after you.

It's what happened to me.

Sometimes, drama is like a really cold pool. If you just tiptoe in it, you'll get really cold, really fast. If you dive in, you'll adjust and warm up again.


I learned that after going after their jobs. I went from being harassed daily to having a year with zero incidence. Haven't been bothered once in over a year. Feels fucking good.

My point, don't get too used to avoiding trouble. It'll find you anyway. Don't be afraid to make trouble either, because sure enough, other people will make it for you.

>>18409610
> break up
It's honestly not supposed to be hard like that.
Draw a line of self worth and move on

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It's been 14 years, 14 fucking years being ugly as fuck, 14 years of having constant bruises from zits on my face and the fucking urge to hit myself hoping the bruises will cover this festering fucking shithole of a face. Oh and wait, there's more, I've got a brother and he's the definition of perfect, smile, eyes, social, the whole set. While i got every fucking bad thing going on, my father has been beating my mother since I was 4, alcoholic and addicted to smoking which also fucked up my mothers lungs and caused her to get lung cancer, have reported him to the police but my mother refuses to do anything about it and hopes he will stop untill they are old, but it wont, it just drove her crazy and has to stay at a mental asylum.
I fucking hate myself, i don't know why, i just hate my fucking life i wish it would fucking end.
And no, im 21, i've had gf's, was elected prom king at the end of 8th grade and 12 grade, doesnt help at all.
All i do nowadays is just go to the gym and stay on the computer like a lazy fuck and dont have the guts to live my life. wbu anon

I don't understand how a girl like you exists. You're smart, funny, kind, cute, good at video games hell I could go on forever about you to anyone but, you. I wish I could get rid of these feelings, because all I wanted was to be friends yet, I always find myself thinking about you.

I don't get it. How is it that guys with way less social activity than myself can all get girlfriends, while I'm still alone? I get rated well appearance-wise on rate-me sites, I dress well, I'm friendly but not a push-over, I'm admittedly a little boring but nowhere near as boring as many of my peers.

I've gone through high school and uni alone, not for want of trying - I participated in social/sports clubs, made tonnes of good friends in the process.

My interests are male-dominated, I won't deny that. And yet I've met and approached my fair share of single girls.

I can't pretend my mental health isn't suffering because of it. I'm beginning to lose motivation to do anything - I'm gaining weight, not seeing friends as often. Life has become this monotonous cycle of getting up, going to work, coming home, doing housework, and repeat.

I'm making money - a decent bit of it. I'm beginning to think one day I'll just write up my will and end it. Better for the environment if I didn't exist, anyway.

Just let me cry ill be fine

I miss you stupid, Max

Why the fuck do you keep reposting shit about guys leaving? Stuff about how you would take them back if they wanted? About how you stay up at night because you missed them?

I'm that person for you. And god knows you made it clear that you thought I was a shitty person, a person you could never be with. You told me to stay away from you and that youd never wanted to talk to me again. So why? Are you trying to pretend you tried your best when I know you didnt?
I'll never understand women.

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Been struggling with depression and I don't think I can live with it anymore. On the off chance any of my friends see this, I love you guys, see you.

I hate myself and I'm thinking about killing myself almost every day. I'm a Uni student and I have barely any passion for it or anything else. I feel like I'm just going with the tide.

My family belittles my problems and doesnt take me seriously. My father wasnt really ever in my life and my mother only cares about my grades. I dont have any real, good friends, so there is no one to talk to.

I'm very socially awkward and working out and people noticing me caused it to actually be worse. There is not a single point I'm looking forward to in my life and looking back I cant remember when was the last time I was truly happy. I feel like I've already fucked up in my life and I dont see point to continue.

I wish I had enough money to live on campus this year. I already get the max amount of student loans from the gov but I'm still 6k short to being able to afford on campus housing.
I hate carpooling an hour to school every day, and I hate the fact that I'm 24 and still living with mom.

>>18409311
>abusing is calling a few times
Women are really fucking stupid holy hell

I'll be back there soon enough

I miss you, I miss your smell, I miss your laugh, I miss the sparkle in your eyes. I miss it listening to you practicing your violin. I miss the smell of fresh tea you made for me whenever I came to you. I miss you lips. I miss the softness of your hand touching my skin. I miss going through your hair with my fingers. I miss dancing with you. I miss being silly with you. I miss the sunny days we went out hiking. I miss the rainy days we woke up together, listening to the raindrops hitting the windows.
I know everything was too much for you. Now. I know I was blind. Now. I know what I lost. Now.

But I pray every day to get a second chance, so that I can hear you laugh, feel your lips, see your eyes, smell your hair.
And so I wait …waking up each night. Alone.

My girl gave up on me after the best 2 years of my life. She seemed totally indifferent to the fact we're over and came up with all these shitty excuses as to why she needs to be single.
THEN I find her ipad and see messages from my BEST FRIEND saying he loves her and I have never felt so betrayed and crushed.
I want her gone. I want her to disappear. I want her to suffer. I want him to suffer. I want him to feel alone and betrayed. I want her to feel alone and betrayed. I want to kick his sorry fucking face in, because now I'm homeless and couch surfing and all I have is my job and a few pennies.
I just want answers so I can move on.

>>18410770
Go and get a hobby. And nothiong like "getting drunk in the pub" kind of hobby. Something where you create something. Like modeling. Try to get better at it. There lies a certain satisfaction when you hold something up high and can tell the world "I made this with my own hands!"
Even if your first try is total an utter crap. Keep doing it. And you will get better.

You will get to know other people that are into the same hobby and you will find friends there.

As for short term: travel. Go to the highest mountain that you can reach by train or car and climb it. One can find deepest happynes on top of a mountain.

since you are still at uni you haven't fucked up you life yet. You can find your place in this world.

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I wish I had been killed. My memory is fucked up. Sensation is fucked up. Tonight I can't sleep because it feels like a cross between my left arm being on fire and being crushed in a vice. All I have to remedy this is carisoprodol.

Pic extremely related.

>>18410960
Punch your friend in the face and move on.

>>18405779
I'm spiralling despite my better judgement and I wish I could just bash my head against the wall until I was unconscious but I'm not alone at home.

Hhahahahahaahahaha you deserve all this shit that's happening to you coke whore. Maybe you shouldn't have thrown your entire life and future away just to get fucked up

I scan for rings when I check out women.

Also, I want a reset.

why does he have to live so far away? all I want to do is just be next to him but I can't.

I hate country where I was born. No opportunities for bright future... That's why I'm learning new languages like English, Spanish and Turkish. Just to be somewhere else.... Fuck you georgia! I wish I could live in USA... But I think most of my live I'll struggle even though I'm just 19 years old...

Straight male.
I think my ideal partner would be a bi woman.
A very kinky bi woman.

>>18410599
Happy bday and Im sorry anon

>>18411030
Same here, except without the reset.
I want time and space to be warped exactly 7 years ago from today whilst keeping my memories intact, remembering the friends, the experiences, and horrors that made me me, and how I could now prevent such errors from ever happening again.

I want my family back. I want my friends back. I want my old, lazy, happy life back. Most importantly, I just want to feel loved again.

All I feel these days is hate and suffering, and artificial camaraderie. Every day I awaken is a new day in hell, be it at work or at home. All I want is a comfy, lovey dovey life back. Is that so hard to grant, Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, Thor, and Zeus? I just fucking want my naive happiness back.

>>18411125
Maybe this but maybe further.

The year would be 2003, month September. Not all memories intact (movies, TV shows, anime and games are blank, books not so much), just the ones pertaining to skill and insight.

Damn. My hairline has started to recede.

I saw that she was writing me something on snapchat and it took me 20 minutes to realize she just accidentally opened the chat tab

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No one really wants me around, but they're sure gonna fucking parade my corpse around after I die.

God fucking damnit I just cannot work solo, I keep fucking around doing anything but work.

I might be internet-addicted.

When my boyfriend had no job n was developing depression last summer I supported him. I had a job n would but weed for us every week. I'd do little surprises for him to make him smile. On our first anniversary he didn't buy me anything n was meant to spend some money he had on a present but instead said he wanted to get some weed. I spent most of the day waiting for the weed guy, by time he dropped off it was getting late. We went to get food n I had to pay bare in mind I had bought him 5 different presents all things I knew he'd love. By time we had done eating it was dark n he didn't have much money left after buying weed so I never got a present just a lego figure.
Now I really want to go to a festival this year n I told him this. Now he's off to the festival I wanted to go to but I'm not cause the tables turned n now I'm unemployed but I'm not getting the support like I gave him and that fucking sucks

It's been 4 days and my bangs still look terrible. I was thinking of maybe asking him out tomorrow but my haair. Then again my friend said that my hair is not going to change whether he likes me or not, which I guess is true lol.
Well today I dreamed about him. I dreamed that he avoided me as much as he could. Even my subconscious knows it's hopeless.
There's no point, is there? I'll just make things awkward.

>>18411298
>Then again my friend said that my hair is not going to change whether he likes me or not
Your friend is a liar.

>>18411295
>dating a stereotypical lazy unemployed stoner loser

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>>18406859
Honestly? Don't force yourself to wake once you realise it is a dream. Instead, take control.

I found myself shitting bricks being chased by werewolves once, after a harrowing bike ride with no lights through a dark, moonlit forest. Then I realised, hang on, the moon is not full tonight. So if these guys can break the rules and still transform, fine, so can I.

And then stuff got awesome because turns out that werewolves don't handle AT-AT's (image related) very well.

I don't know if you've figured out how to take control yet but it's a skill(?) I heartily recommend learning.

>>18407018
Because physical closeness is important too. Try and see if you can organise a RL meetup, just as friends. The more the merrier.

>>18411295
Are you beautiful ?

fuck you r
i fucking hate you for ruining my teenage years with your insecure shit

>>18410233
Welcome to adulthood, we get no shirts because FUCK YOU that's why. Take comfort in the small things or you'll go beserk in short order.

Nothing makes me happy.
I wish I could run away and be a hermit in the woods but I would miss indoor plumbing too much. This has been my dream for ~15 years.

>>18409345
hey don't be so sure

i'm a J who lost a C a long time ago but would be happy to dedicate myself to C again

Whats with all the J/C's

>>18411295
Your sugar walls deserve much better, sweetheart. Have you been thinking shout seeking employment and leavng him (or regrouping by staying with friends or family and leaving him)?

I've been much more careful about what I say online (even on 4chins) after watching 13 reasons why.
Idc call me pussy. I cried my eyes out at that suicide scene.

>>18411410
I thought that show was fucking weak and the reasons she killed herself were pretty fucking petty. The worst part for me was how the final reason was [spoiler]she got raped.[/spoiler] I thought that was kind of a cop-out reason as that shit is pretty fucking bad, so I don't really feel right making a judgement on her killing herself over that. I still don't think she should have done it but oh well.

>>18408917

What does "compromise" mean? Abandon your own boundaries in favour of someone else's just because they expressed a desire for you to act a way you don't want to act in? You sound like the retarded one.

It's not wrong for someone to end a relationship that they don't want, no matter how much you try to demonize her for that.

>>18411330
I mean, whether I have my bangs pinned back or not. It's not like I changed my whole hair.

>>18408248
How come fella?

>>18409369
Can you post a pic? You must be doing something wrong.

>>18411422
Yeah but it's sure as fuck wrong to lie about everything and go back on every promise there was, but hey that's fine because it's at the others expense

The amount of times I had to help when you were depressed, stressed about the dumbest shit, helping with every single little problem you had all while dealing with my own shit and I was the weak one because I talked about my personal problems with you? That's what partners are supposed to do. Seriously what the hell was your problem?

>>18411378

Baby the J I'm referring to stopped talking to me, presumably because I haven't done anything w my life and I'm fat/hate myself now. I don't blame her for not talking to me, but it hurts and I still love her. I'm lonely but I don't want a relationship enough to find one.

I was gonna finally take a train to the coast and hang out after all these years, because I've kept a job. But when I told her that, I guess she didn't want it anymore. There's a bunch of other shit but it doesn't matter, I have a doctor to talk to about it lmao :'(

I know you. You're sulking right now about how unfair it is that I left. You're nitpicking me, any minor mistakes I made along the way, trying to make me look like the bad guy in your head.

You'll convince yourself of anything to avoid having to take a look at yourself in the mirror.

Ironically this is why I had to leave you. You don't take responsibility for your actions. Any time you lash out and scream and punch and push it's somebody else's fault.

You're an adult now. You don't get to blame people for your outbursts anymore.

I am not serving myself well - or you, for that matter - by staying. By enabling. By participating in some small way. Even as I try to detach myself from the toxic behaviour and encourage something healthier.

You're just not there yet. You keep promising to change but you never actually do it. You don't take a step back when you feel the anger coming on. You don't challenge the ideas in your head that lead you to believe that it's okay to physically harm others when they disagree with you. You don't want to. It's easier to swing your fists and scream and cry. For you, it feels better to punish others.

I am not your parent. It is not my responsibility to stick around. It's not my job to try to teach you to behave better. But goddammit I tried anyways.

I tried because - despite what you'll tell yourself and your online friends during your pity party - I really fucking cared about you. I wanted to see you stop being stuck in misery. I tried to challenge your thinking even when I knew the likely response would be more screaming and crying and punching and pushing. But at this point it would be unwise for me to continue. There has been no progress. We are stuck.

You're sad because you lost the recording of the song I sung for you. You said it was the last piece of me you still had left. The only recording of your voice I ever had was you screaming ballistically at me in a message you left on my phone while I was asleep.

Fucking hypocritical coward. You know you're spineless

>you've got a match!
oh cool, with a few more of that featured woman we could start a solar system. why would I subscribe to this shit? why can't you just show me who's interested without me giving you money, charge me money to talk to them or something. at least choose the most attractive woman from the bunch that are supposedly interested, not the hamplanet.

>tfw forgot you had a match account
>tfw updated a bunch of stuff
>tfw updated how much money you make
>tfw every woman that has looked at my profile since likes me
>tfw the only one the site shows me is obviously almost 300 pounds

I remember now, this was why I stopped using the site.

>>18411416
It's not cuz she was raped. It's cuz she was raped and her entire support system failed, she was invisible.
I dunno why she didn't just tell her parents though.

>>18411532
Fuck you, you don't know me.

>better not even sneeze
you the beta that keeps finding the smallest anything and spinning it into a massive deal of psychopathic proportions?

stop negging you sneaky, disgusting worm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBK8QktuViw

Well IP
After all these years, all I can say is that I'm sorry that I didn't make our relationship good enough to be worth saving. I cared too much, you cared too little. Yeah, i was selfish, immature and impatient. You knew that from the start, if it didn't bother you then. Why now? Why hold in so much only to tell me everything you thought was wrong with me? If you would have talked and been open, I would have listened and made an effort to change things. You were important to me, you were my best friend and most trusted. I loved you the most.

All I know now is that I need to move on. All you have told me is that you'll see when you'll have time to talk. That's a bandage you're trying to use. No, if I still mattered to you, you would find time. You keep telling me that you don't know what you want anymore. Why lie? Just be direct and tell me you're done with me and finish this painful game of charades.

Not like it matters, I come to realize that i need to go. I need to walk as I should have done years ago, but I stayed because I thought you would learn to grow as well. You didn't, I did. I see this now. I see that I shouldn't be wasting time and effort, wasting my health and mind, for someone that can't even make some time for another.

Maybe some day you'll have time, maybe you'll be open to talk again, but by then, like now, I don't give a damn.

>>18411424
Well, some random old dude on the street felt compelled to call me beautiful so I guess it doesn't look too terrible.

I am upset not for some messed up reason, not because I got teh brain problems, not because I have some personality disorder, not because of some red flag reason.... I'm upset, because I love you, and I want to be able to work on being with you, and it feels like I'm in a position where I can't do that effectively and it's leading to misunderstandings and the possibility of losing what has the potential to be a truly amazing relationship before it starts. I couldn't figure out why I was in a bad mood myself, that's why. I know this would be work. I know theres some obstacles that seem like a big deal, I know there's distance, I am willing to put the work in to make all of those problems go away but I'm in a position where I feel like I'm waiting for a green light.

>>18411682
initials?

>>18411697
for an L from an M

>>18411587
Hey.

Thank you.

I miss squishing your thighs

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25 here, never had a gf and was rejected by a girl today.
we see each other frequently and will do so in the future (work), so it's not the greatest situation.

felt like shit for an hour or two, but now i feel energetic and optimistic for the future

i really don't know why i feel like this and what i should feel at all.

>>18411965
Simple. Because you don't give a fuck. As it should be. You'll be alright, and though it may be awkward, you now know what it's like to get shot down. No tears, just doing it.

Good shit anon, keep going and doing well.

>>18411925
>Thank you
For?

>>18411942
I miss having my thighs squished

>>18411942
I also miss your titties. Those titties were perfection :(

>>18411972
i've been shot down before and i know what it's like, but this time was the first that i seemingly didn't give a fuck.
felt like the girl was something special (even compared to the ones who rejected me before), and i still do a little for now.
but i'm not really sad that i won't have a chance to be with her. i feel like it doesn't matter at all if she's special or not; i was never with her, so i never lost her anyway.
i'm not content with the situation, but with myself and how i dealt with it. weird to describe.

anyway, thanks for your comment. very encouraging to hear this.

you pieces of shit will blame every issue I have on ANYTHING other than what you're fucking doing to me. Paranoia? Drugs. Weight gain? Diet sodas. Insomnia? Caffeine.

You fucking know what's really causing me issues. It's all your fucking lies, your manipulation, your disgusting greed. You constantly put messages in fucking everything, you refuse to tell me anything, and you never fucking listen to me. The stress this is puttin on me is extreme. It makes it hard for me to sleep. The constant worrying about WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON makes it hard to focus. The stress and boredom gave me an eating disorder.

You cut me off from the fucking world. You made it so I can't talk to anyone. The loneliness just pushes the stress and boredom.

Go fuck yourselves. I never wanted to be a part of fucking any of this. Tell me the truth and then leave me the fuck alone.

You're not going to get me to do what you want through manipulation. That's all there is to it.

if you truly cared about me, if you truly wanted to help me then you would be honest with me. You would actually talk to me. You would end this bullshit.

What you're doing now is just going to push me to suicide.

Not to mention that your arguments are so fucking weak that you actually had to DRUG ME to "prove your points". You know that the things you say are bullshit so you had to find a way to mimic certain symptoms, like withdrawals by dosing me with a shit ton of caffeine.

Then there are the other things, like calling me a hypochondriac. You know I do research, you know I'm clever but you think "diagnosing" yourself is baaaadddd. So what did you do to prove that? You slipped me drugs to fake symptoms and created a bunch of false websites to throw off my reading and research. You noted all the shit I'm going through and created a bunch of fake disorders and diseases or altered others in order to make diagnosing myself look ignorant.

You people are disgusting, manipulative, and pathetic. You're going to hell for what you're doing to me.

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when i was 12 and saints row 3 came out i became obsessed with matt miller. i hate brits but for some reason i ended up falling in love with him to the point where i wouldnt go out or my days would be spent daydreaming about him. my obsession became so bad and i obsessed over him until i was about 16 (im 18 now). i actually tried to make a tulpa of him and i just constantly thought about him. now i have a bf and im doing better (i go out sometimes and dont spend all day daydreaming). from time to time i still think about them especially matt and i daydream about our life together and it makes me feel... sad? i feel almost like im letting him down sometimes which is weird and i dont know if im crazy or something.

>>18412269
I could say the same to multiple people.

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>>18411942
squishy

>>18411697
>>18411772
M from texas if that means anything.

I hope you're doing fine. I love you.

I found out a friend is cheating on her girlfriend. I won't do anything but I want to punch him in the face as hard as I can.

>>18412419
Please let her know somehow :(

>>18412244

I have to leave before I get to where you are with this. If I'm screaming at people on an anonymous forum about the same shit, about the stuff that continuously makes me feel let down, I will have stayed here for too long. New people, new places, the world's too big to stay where I'm not wanted or where I'm unhappy myself.

Good luck with getting through the pain you have, but gtfo this place because you aren't willing to drop the people you hate so much. Also you are annoying.

>>18412424

No, it's none of my business. However, I really hope she finds out. He's going to fucking regret it.

>>18412428
they literally have dementia and the people they hate are their doctors because they won't give them adderall.

that is not normal people problems you're looking at.

>>18412419

I'm supposed to go to the gym now but I'm too depressed over this. Damn...

what's with the milkshakes, I'll tell you

Its hot here, it's ice cream you can carry around with you without it getting all over your hands like a cone, you can set it down to do other stuff, it'll keep you cooler while walking around to look at cool stuff, they're delicious, and you put the thought in my head and I've wanted a milkshake since but haven't bought one because calories.

Zl os nyybjf zr gb ibzvg juvccrq pernz naq vpr pernz ba uvf znaubbq...jr unira'g unq frk lrg (arire cynprq zl unaqf/zbhgu ba uvf ovgf). V'z gur svefg srznyr ur unf orra jvgu jub qbrf guvf naq ur vf gur svefg znyr V unir nyybjrq gb jngpu zr crr naq ibzvg va crefba. V nz srryvat qrtrarengr naq irel nebhfrq =\ gur jnl uvf onyyf gvtugra hc naq zbir vf nccrnyvat gb zr

>>18412508
the fuck is this

>>18412508
LMFAO well then.

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>>18412508
>My bf allows me to vomit whipped cream and ice cream on his manhood...we haven't had sex yet (never placed my hands/mouth on his bits). I'm the first female he has been with who does this and he is the first male I have allowed to watch me pee and vomit in person. I am feeling degenerate and very aroused =\ the way his balls tighten up and move is appealing to me

>>18412442
I was cheated on and I hate this attitude. I wish I had known sooner.

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>>18412547