Best friend wants me to marry his wife

Wew, that's a tall order. I'm gonna have to think about this one...

Raise his daughter then marry his daughter. It's the perfect plan.

Damn, that's a hard one..

It is a lot to ask for, but man if your best friend is so desperate and about to die, it seems bad to ignore this request.

I mean, if you decided to grant his wish, you'd be some damn good gracious person anon. You might not believe in god, but those are moments that can really turn your life around.

>>18404887
How old is his daughter?

Don't marry her if you don't feel like that's what you want, that's a really awkward thing to ask of you. But do support them financially and continue to take a role in his daughter's life.

It's a trap. She'll marry you then break up with you and take all your shit. I don't think your best friend is in on it but that's probably what she'll do. Anyway I would suggest helping by buying stuff for the kid. Don't give money to the wife. She'll spend it for herself for sure.

>>18404887
Holy fucking fuck OP...

Man, i just. Shit...

My best friend died last year. Its absolute hell and i dont know what to tell you.

Fucking good luck i guess and please report back with results?

Not sure of you're a religious man. I wouldnt say i am much of one either but i did say a quick prayer if this isnt b8. My bro "K" wont have any problem showing your buddy the ropes upstairs if and when the time comes. And if he doesnt already have someone waiting on him.

Good luck to you op

>>18404938
She is 8 years old.

>>18404950
She probably understands what is happening better than you all think she is doing.
Support her and her mother, both financially and emotionally. Be a constant figure in her life.
But she's old enough to understand what's happening.

I'm kind of bothered by the fact that his wife is willing to marry you. I mean I get it, security and all that but her willingness rubs me the wrong way. That seems like something you decide on when your husband is dead.

>>18404978
Yes that's what I said. It's definitely a trap. The best friend just wants what's best for her daughter but the wife is just in it for the money.

>>18404978
It's entirely possible that the friend talked her into it. We have no idea how amicable to the idea she was.

>>18404978
In some cultures it used to be accepted that as duty that a brother would marry the wife and take care of her if he died. It's not nowadays though, OP's friend is way out of line in making that request of the OP. It's not culturally accepted now and it puts OP in an uncomfortable place he doesn't deserve, where he's being asked to marry a woman he has no desire to marry as his dying friend's wish.

His friend should have just asked to make sure his wife and daughter are provided for emotionally and financially. That's entirely far more reasonable.

>>18404887
First of all, marriage is simply unnecessary, don't worry about the wife, she'll be fine.
The daughter however you should at least consider supporting financially since you make more than enough money to do so.
And maybe after spending some time with her you'll feel more comfortable with emotionally supporting her.

>>18404978
Really? That doesn't surprise me at all. OP is his best friend and presumably she's been his wife for a long time so she's probably extremely familiar with OP at this point. It's not like he's a stranger, he's probably the male she's most intimately familiar with atm outside of her husband.

>>18404982
This, he's on his death bed and panicking, what he asked is entirely unreasonable to most people and his wife could've just said okay because he was pressuring her and she wanted to placate him.

It's kind of an unreasonable request but at the same time, when you're about to die there's little time to be reasonable. People are saying he's being unreasonable but you guys have to see it from his point of view. The man is essentially asking his friend to fuck his wife and be the father he couldn't be, the amount of pride he had to swallow to do that is immense. Can you imagine how shit he must feel now? Cancer aside, it's not a good feeling to feel like you've failed as a husband and a father and asking your more capable friend to pick up the pieces and keep the boat steady. It's not easy knowing that your daughter is so young that by the time she's an adult, while she will acknowledge your existence she'll probably bond with your friend far more than she ever did with you.

That must be tearing him up. A man's family is his pride and that's a big deal. He wouldn't be asking this of OP if he didn't feel it was necessary. He knows that if he left it up to his wife, she'll bring around a bunch of random men around his child. He knows that this is the only way he can guarantee his child live a decent life after he's gone. He doesn't want OP to marry his wife, he wants OP to make sure she doesn't marry anyone else. It's that simple, friends. Even if its at the cost of his own pride. If the kid was an adult he wouldn't be asking this of OP.

>>18405047
With the state marriage is in at the moment if he does marry her he'll be fucked because then she ha him by the balls and can leave at any time and take half of his stuff. All of which she'll spend on herself and not on the child.

Get a prenup and do it.

>>18404915
lol

Supporting the family financially without marrying your friend's wife sounds like the best way to grant your friend's dying wish

Either that, or write up a prenup

>>18404950
10 years
I'd say marry his wife now, then 10 years later divorce her and get the daughter, mileage might vary

File: 3a7.jpg (77KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 680x680px

>>18404887
fucking anime poster LARPing again
gj adv

>>18405226
>>18405246
>implying prenups work

>>18405246
this

>>18404887
over my death body I would be a cuck even for my best friend. I am not invest resources on genes that are not mine.

OP, w/e you do: make sure you don't actually marry (she can take your shit), and if you do give money for/to the kid: make sure you consult a lawyer so you don't automagically become the new father. That shit happens.

>>18405273
>cuck
How are you a cuck by being there for your dead friend's loved ones? Stop throwing this word around.

>>18405280
They can't stop throwing that word around

mindless cucks

SEE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OP, I'd say to tell him that you'll think about it but that he damn well better do everything he can to push through this. Obviously he doesn't want to die and his family doesn't want him to go. Don't commit to this, it's a fuckton to ask you even if you are on good terms with them. You don't know how it would work or anything. You can still help provide support if you would like without jumping into the whole marriage thing.

I think what you need to do is have a sit-down talk, in private, with the wife and possibly even the kid later, is/when he does pass. He's desperate, she's stressed, this is not the time to be making huge life decisions. Let the most emotional parts blow over.

Sit down and talk. As much as your friend wanted to support them, you two needs to be the ones to decide if this is an arrangement you want to go through on. As a married anon, you should got enter a marriage because someone else told you so.

You and the wife can continue to be a part of each others' lives. And if a love blossoms from that, then great. If not, there's going to be other ways to make it work, and you should not force it. Forcing it will probably just lead to frustration, resentment, and divorce, and thus even more life upset.

Be respectful, but don't commit. Then see what happens.

>>18405273
Wouldn't the friend be the cuck since he's asking his bro to fuck his wife?

>>18405315
>>18405297
>>18405280
>>18405273

see

>>18405315
more like dumping her to him while he's off to Valhalla
also
who'd be raising whose child here

>>18405280
that is the definition of a cuck because you are raising a kid that is not yours and that is genetic disaster. anti evolution my ancestors didn't struggle in life so I can raise the genes of another man.

Just tell the poor bastard yes. Let him die is peace. Then do what you want after he is gone.

>>18405360
Consider the fact that this also provides OP with a genetic opportunity. He could easily impregnate her and thereby spread his genes as well.

But honestly, the whole cuck argument is stupid and missing the point. Not everything is about your own genes, and there's more ways than one to ensure genetic survival. Mathematically you spread your genes just as much by ensuring two relatives survive as you do by having a kid of your own. It's principles like this that are behind eusociality, and humans are becoming more and more eusocially cooperative.

>>18405367
more productive if get with a women without any children so my own children get access to more resources instead of having it split like a cuck.

>>18405382
Yes, but spreading your genes with a woman who has a kid that's yours is better than not having one at all

Do NOT marry. You can take her of his family and help raise her child without having to marry her wife, plus you would be marrying her for the wrong reasons as you don't love her. In addition to that marriage might open the possibility of her taking financial advantage.

On a second note, taking care of his family.. it depends on how close or valuable as a friend he was. If he is a fellow brother in arms... without doubt, but if he's the buy you had a couple of drinks and played pool with, then no way.

>>18404887
Is she at least hot?

This is an internet forum-tier world view.

So you're saying if there was an orphan child and you were alone with it you'd let it die?

>>18405390
*that's not yours

This is an internet forum-tier world view.

So you're saying if there was an orphan child and you were alone with it you'd let it die?
>>18405423
>>18405382

>>18405423
YES! Exactly. Dead as a

>all these anti-marriage sexists
When did /r9k/ invade this board?

Is the wife hot?

>>18405466
I didn't know being anti-marriage somehow made you sexist. I'd love to see the logic in that.

He's obviously a very emotional dying man. He wants to know that his family will be provided for and that his daughter will have a father figure, so he's constructed a scenario in his mind where it'll be okay if he dies. It's completely irrational and insane. He may be dying, but you're not. You're living, OP. If you marry her you know the outcome- you're going to resent it, it will be very strange to transplant yourself into his family, and you simply can't be him. You're you. Tell him that, he needs to hear it. This is his way of trying to find a way for it to be okay that he'll be dead, and the fact is that his wife and daughter will miss him. He'll be dead. You can't fix that. There's also the possibility that he wants you to marry her so she can divorce you later/live off you/otherwise make sure she's financially stable. I very strongly advise you not to do this. He's being manipulative and trying to get you to do something you clearly don't want to do, dying or not he's still just a person.

>>18404936
Yes it does seem bad, doesn't it. He's dying, we like to make dying people happy. But the fact is, he's asking something absolutely outrageous. This isn't a buzzfeed article, it's OP's life trajectory.

>>18404947
Basically this- it could be a trap of varying degrees of sinisterness.


>>18404978
>>18404981
>>18404982
>>18405009
>>18405246
>>18405266
>>18405310

>>18405412


This

>>18404887
Is it that hard to just be a cool, rich grandfather to your kids?

>>18406079
Erm, scratch out your kids, but the point still stands. You can still have a minor role in raising the kid and making sure the wife doesn't go off the deep end. Maybe do something like promise to pay off food or the rent (depending on how rich you are).

>>18406056
I don't think he's trying to manipulate OP, he's just being emotional and acting in a rash way. I don't think he means harm to OP though.

Like others say, it's very suspicious. Don't marry her, but be there for the daughter and her. If the wife suddenly pushes you away or something stupid, then let it be.

I don't think marrying a woman who's husband just died of cancer is the best course of action, regardless of what he wants. If he wants his family to be secure, do that for him and help them out with whatever, be sure to give his daughter all the opportunities he can no longer give her.

As for marrying her, I dunno, sounds weird and there's potential that she could take your shit and bail.

Not sure how well off you are or how generous, but consider putting money into a trust for the daughter if that's how you want to roll, one she can only touch when she turns eighteen or something. That way mom definitely can't get her hands on it if that's something you're at all worried about, and it's taking care of the child's future. Just a thought. I'm so sorry for your friend.

How about you just say no? This is an unreasonable thing to ask / expect of anyone, even your best friend. You can't just ask someone to completely change his entire life, just because yours is ending. He has no right to this. The girl is not your daughter and the woman is not your wife. If you want to you can support them after his death ofc but you are under NO obligation to do so. If they're trying to guilt trip you into it they're honestly assholes who need to fuck off.

2 dangerous possibilities here
>Marry the wife and financially support the child
Risk divorce and alimony
>Live with the family while supporting them financially and emotionally
Potentially falls under common law marriage after a period elapses


Best course of action that fulfills OP's friend's request somewhat is to have the two of them set it up so you're the child's god father and have the mother give up custody of the child to you though this isn't perfect as now you have a child to care for the next 10 years but you don't have to take care of the wife.

>>18404887

It will make you more responsible. IF the wive is on board as well, do it, anon.

You will help them and them you to grow.

However talk alone with his wife first and see what she thinks on the matter. If the daughter is old enough her as well. Make sure all are on equal terms.

And if you decide to do it, get a prenup.

>>18405266
Depends on the country. in a lot they still do.

>>18405310

THAT.

Best advice in the thread.

>>18404915
>>18404887
It really is. Do this anon

>>18404887
Why would you have to marry the wife. That's fucking retarded.

Just act like a rich uncle or something and take care of the daughter occasionally and support the family.

The wife just wants money and it will never work out putting the daughter in an even worse environment.

>Become rich uncle that occasionally looks after her.

>>18404936
>it seems bad to ignore this request.
This isnt some shit like "spread my ashes in my home country", this is a life long commitment. To call it a request is an understatement.

>>18404887
Since you have the financial means and a very close to them by all possible means help them. Also push his wife into improving her career opportunities by paying for classes or a trade school.

You are under no obligation to marry her.

>>18404915
i have a feel that *was* the plan all along but OP just wouldn't admit it.

gr8 b8 m8

>>18404887
I understand that you may love your friend and even have a great deal of love for his family but asking you to marry his wife is an unreasonable request even for a dying wish. You're not the same person, just because they could make their marriage work doesn't mean you could make a marriage work with her and your first responsibility is to live your own life. I just don't see anything but problems with this. I'd have to hear from God Himself to do something like this myself, even for my best friend who I I'd take a bullet for.