I met a guy online roughly a year ago. We really cared about

>>18404169
How did he die?

>>18404172
An accident.

>>18404169
>How do I stop feeling this dead inside?
By realising that it was just a fantasy, its ok to be sad because he died, but if the reason is because you're not going to realise your perfect fairy tale love history, then, you should be aware that this wouldn't happen either way.

>>18404257
It wasn't a fantasy. It didn't have to be a perfect fairy tale love story, it never was.
We were friends, more than anything. I did have feelings for him and he had feelings for me, but he was one of the best friends I've ever had and I loved talking to him.

I am destroyed because I lost him, and extremely sad because I didn't even manage to make him happy before he died.

>>18404273
You didn't got my point, but whatever, sorry for your loss.

>>18404294
Because it simply doesn't make sense. Just because we met online it wasn't just a fantasy.
We aren't obese teenagers that cannot socialise.
We both had relationship before, were decently attractive and other options closer.
We were working to be together in person, and spent every moment we could talking to each other.
He wasn't perfect. Our relationship wasn't perfect. But it was very real, and I just wanted to have a chance to make him happy and give him what he deserved. And I never will.

>>18404301
Its has nothing to do with meeting online, its how fantasious some things you described are.

>The last thing he told me was that he was going to marry me one day.
>The night he died he sang me to sleep and told me I was the love of his life.

This utter bullshit, and many, many delusional people went through something simillar believing that what they had were special, he could be a good friend, but you're romanticizing your relationship with a guy that you never saw in person or shared your daily life with, and still he said that you were the woman of his life.

>>18404322
I talked to this guy from the moment he wake up to the moment I went to bed, every single day, for months. He was right for me in a way that no one else was. We both felt like we were meant for each other.

Sure, I never met him in person, but I really thought that he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
Maybe it wasn't going to work out, but I am never going to find out.

>>18404352
how do you know he is dead?

>>18404370
His family contacted me. I talked on the phone with his mother.
It was also on the news.

>>18404352
Life can't be perfect, if you think it is some shit is gonna happen very soon

>>18404377
But I don't think he was perfect or our relationship was perfect, or that everything was going to work out super easy for the rest of our life if we got together.
He had flaws. I have flaws. Sometimes shit sucked.
But I never doubted, not even for a day, that he was right for me. He made me feel accepted and understood.

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>>18404169
If you are religious (or not - rituals still help) light a candle in a trad. church for him, and wish him "goodby".

If you have the money you can do the same at his grave.

Then talk to someone.
If you are fine with it a Priest (they have the most experience with death) if not a psychologist.

Then take a memory of your almost BF, and bury it symbolically somewhere.

And then move on.

For now he is gone.
You however have to continue here.

You have been loved.
You are loved.
You will find love again.

>>18404373
post news sauce

>>18404460
No. There's his name on it, I don't want it to be on here.


>>18404447
I'd like to visit his grave, I have the tickets for this fall. His family wants to meet me, too.

I'll talk to my therapist. It happened 3 days ago, I barely slept since.

Thank you for the nice words.

>>18404169
To be honest I was in a similar situation but not the dead part.

Online relationships don't have that much foundation. I learned this the hard way that distance can kill it.

But if you can solve the distance problem, another one arises when you live together. You see the best in each other through filters. By this I mean text messages. It has no tone. You read it the way you want it to be read. You can edit before you send and so on and thus the negative sides don't show that much.

I say its perfect that he died in your story. I'm not being morbid or anything but if it continued who knows what will happen between you two. But i assure you the chance of the relationship failing is high.

You have the perfect fairytale end. Cherish it, keep it in your memories and smile for his soul's sake. Know that he will wish for your happiness even if he's gone.

>>18404475
We talked on the phone at least 3 hours a day, and spent basically all weekend on webcam unless we were out. Still filtered, of course, but not as much as text. Last weekend we were on webcam for... what, 30 hours?
Distance sucked, but it wasn't immensely bad.
We had so much to talk about, we just genuinely being around each other or bantering. It never bothered me, I always felt like he was worth it.

Of course it could have ended bad. Not even questioning that. But I still wish we had a chance to live it.
I feel like I never gave him what he deserved.

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>>18404472
>I'd like to visit his grave, I have the tickets for this fall. His family wants to meet me, too.

That is good. As well please light a candle there or put flowers on it or such. As I said, rituals at times of change do help. We fragile human beings are structured such that they do.

>>18404472
>I'll talk to my therapist. It happened 3 days ago, I barely slept since.

Good.

As well sleep. Normally I wouldn't advocate for drugs, but a SMALL dose of sleeping pills might be advisable if your problem continues. A lack of sleep doesn't help your mood at all.

And no problem. You are welcome.
Be blessed.