Sexual attraction

>>18401386
Happened in my last relationship, you have grown so complacent that the stimulation is gone.

Break up, you are wasting your time.

>>18401386
The honeymoon phase ended in your relationship. The only way to trigger romance and attraction now is by taking the initiative, this is natural after three to five years.

>>18401399
No remedy?

>>18401406
Gotcha... so.... how do i do that?

>>18401414
Actively do things that are romantic, and actively do things that turn her on. You can't just expect those emotions anymore, you need to put work into a relationship after it has been going on for a while.

>my girlfriend told me that she doesn't feel any sexual attraction or romantic feelings for me.
>when i discussed maybe breaking up she made it clear she wants to be with me for the rest of her life rather than lose me

Part of romance is sexual attraction. If it isn't there, it will be sought after somewhere else.

Do yourself a favor and break up. It's good that you're close but that's not enough to build a relationship on. You're just good friends at this point.

Do you want to live in a sexless relationship devoid of passion and romance for the rest of your life? Does that not sound hellish to you?

You know what needs to be done. I know it's hard but you will be better off for it.

>>18401420
Right, okay, what if it doesn't really work? Because as some anons are saying she kind of just feels like I'm a really good friend. Is there any other recourse than cut the lines? I mean, I really love her and she really loves me.. I'd hate to just never speak to her again

>>18401435

A breakup doesn't have to mean never speaking again.

Usually it does, but in this context it sounds like you guys could just be friends.

You obviously wouldnt be as close as you are now, but it could work. Like Jerry and Elaine

>>18401435
If neither of you want to break it off then go to couples counseling if that doesn't work. If you don't want to take my word for it do some research on "passionate love" vs "compassionate love." You will find tons of psychology research on passion ending in relationships.

In regards to the other anons, posters who aren't in their thirties shouldn't give relationship advice. Someone losing attraction doesn't instantly mean they are going to start slutting around. It is when they stop communicating with you that you should worry.

>>18401449
It'd hurt too much, personally. So if what you say I'd my only option, then that's what I'll do. Should I try and be less "familiar"? More distance, less us being gross around each other?

In the honeymoon phase your lust and sparks are raging so much that you can do pretty much anything without it making a dent in your sexual desire.

Over time you will have the challenges of safety (a lot of sexual thrill lies in risk), knowing each other inside and out, getting stuck in familiar patterns.

Yes this can be avoided (not sure if you can still "fix" it, some couples can though) but that is by actively keeping the spark alive. If you are farting and burping around each other like bros all day every day, you cannot expect her to drop her dress and for you to suddenly see her as a mysterious vision of beauty.
This is why many couples have date nights, where they go out as a couple, looking their best and acting like lovers. Not bros, not best friends.

If you want to seriously fix your relationship I'd get into couple's therapy, because it will require structural changes. She's saying now that she wants to be with you attraction or not, but wait until she feels the way she used to feel about you for another guy... will suddenly look a lot more tempting to leave. Hell, it could happen to you as well, happens all the time for people to jump ship in this manner.

>>18401455
We started this conversation because she started feeling how she felt for me for someone else some time back, but still asserts she'd rather stay with me than lose me, she knows there's only one of me and wants that

>>18401414
>>18401386

Ask her if she'd like to get busy with you. And tell her you'll be passionate and make it worth her while, and you'll go down on her (yes you will).

Since the best way to Do something is to Act As If. If she's unwilling to "try" and be flexible, Dump Her.

>>18401454

it's not your only option. you can try to rekindle the flame - be more unpredictable, romantic, etc. Pretend she isnt your gf yet, like she's some girl you want to impress so you can fuck her.

You can try couples therapy but before resorting to that, try being that romantic, exciting sexy guy you were when you two first started dating

>>18401477
Still though, if you are in agreement about wanting to stay together, why would you NOT put as much effort as possible into having a fulfilling romance life and not just a good partnership? Are you honestly okay with living a life with little to no sexual thrill, romantic stuff, passion/lust?

>>18401477
>>18401452
See? I was right.

>>18401482
I'm not even sure what it was that got her into me. It was a "love at first sight" kinda deal... she really likes acts of love and kindness. She likes little gifts or me doing things for her even if inconvenient as long as I'm happy about it, she likes lots of time together but besides that isn't very physical at all. Right now she's sleeping beside me, if I kissed her on the forehead she'd probably sound like a dying giraffe. Shes a homebody but occasionally I can get her out on a date, she likes exploring new places, trying new restaurants and seeing new movies. We haven't done a whole lot of thst generally the past year or so.
>>18401486
I want to, her on the other hand... her emotional awareness has significant issues

>>18401386
sounds like a normal marriage desu

sounds like she went from being your gf to your best friend. I would say hey we can still be buddies, but I want someone who is interested in sex with me.

Think about it, she says she doesn't want to lose you, but isn't attracted to you. What will happen when someone comes along that she is attracted to? She's gonna fuck him and then come back home to you.

Break up with her.

Dude I went through the same shit you're going through and I know how it feels. What I did is I went along with it for a couple of months and all it did was break my heart and I felt like a worthless piece of shit. I decided no matter what I did it couldn't fix the way she felt about me and the only clairty I had was at the bottom of a vodka bottle. It's gunna hurt like a mother fucker but I can gladly say that I'm currently in a relationship with the best girlfriend I ever had and it gets better. If she doesn't feel the same about you, cut her out of your life and find someone who is gonna treat you like they care about you but focus on yourself a little.

The people in this thread that keep telling you to break up with her don't realize that relationships require work. If you care about each other and want to stay together you need to actively work to keep the romance alive. If you don't want to that's fine too, but keep in mind that this will happen in all of your relationships. After a couple years the honeymoon phase will end, the spark will fade, and you'll have to decide if you want to work for that relationship or if you just want to call it quits and look for the next girl who makes you feel all tingly and special.

>>18401386
be a man and rape her.
it is natural and it will turn her on.

>>18401689
Thanks anon this fixed everything for us :)