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So my boyfriend of a little over a year now is going to grad school on the other side of the country. I don't really know what to do. I've been with a few guys at this point and have felt like she's "the one". I've never fallen for anyone so hard or so instinctively and I've always felt this way about him. Even when I first started dating him he seemed so perfect right away for me and what I'd want in life out of a relationship/boyfriend. He hasn't ever had a serious relationship besides this one, and was a virgin before we met. Before he did have casual sex and done oral but nothing beyond that.
We've had a few rocks in our relationship: he told me once he didn't love me when he was drunk during a fight and he's tried to break up with me before (out of the blue after a mild fight). He has depression and I saw the breakup as a manifestation of it (it's a complicated story) but I broke up with him for a second when he told me he never loved me and all that shit when he was drunk. We got back together within the week because I realized it was pointless doing what I thought I "should" do when it was only hurting the both of us and I knew he didn't mean it.
-continued below-
But TL;DR: boyfriend is moving away and I'm not sure what to do with our relationship
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>>18401287
Basically I've put in a lot of work into making the relationship work. Things are usually great but if he's upset or has a criticism of me and I don't just accept it it'll turn into a fight. This bothers me because it's usually small petty things and he won't see the bigger picture or my perspective on things.
Because of all of this I'm not sure what to do next and I think he feels similarly. I feel like I might have met him at the wrong time to be honest. I think I want him to date and see other people during the year so he can mature and figure out what he really wants because I feel undervalued here. It feels like I'm giving him so much of myself and he's not even recognizing it. I feel like it's a unique opportunity where we could take a break and then evaluate how we feel after the year and I feel like LDRs don't work out well usually. Additionally moving to another state with him after the year feels like a move towards marriage and I wanna make sure I'm not wasting my time/life because I'm lovestruck. In that case I also think he should still have more experience with other people before getting married, because I've always thought you should have more than one sexual partner before that kind of forever commitment. We've talked about this (besides the marriage stuff) on and off and he wavers between "yeah I kinda agree we might wanna do an open relationship" and "maybe we'll do a long distance relationship" and I don't know what to do. What do you guys think?
Sorry for the wall of text
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>>18401293
Do not do an open relationship
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>>18402162
why?
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>>18402593
Because it'll kill you inside.
I could never tolerate my SO fucking other people
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>>18402620
It won't though. I'm the one who's saying it's ok for him to sleep with other people.
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open relationships aren't healthy, and if you're both fucking other people while being across the country from eachother, then why even bother staying in a relationship.
just be friends at that point
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>>18402944
My problem is I don't wanna sleep around but I feel like he needs the experience that sleeping with/dating other people brings to make him better in our relationship if that makes sense. I also don't think a LDR would work.
I think the break it off and see how we are in a year is best but he might just be suggesting the open relationship structure because one of our friends recently got married and they had that for a period of time, so he knows it can work out for some.
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>>18402966
LDRs take work, but they can work if you feel the person's worth the work.
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