became a normie now i hate myself

>>18401204
There's nothing wrong with playing videogames, in moderation. But putting anime posters and shit around your room is going too far. Use common sense to draw the line. You honestly can't just play a game one weekend and party the next? Do you lack self control?

>>18401219
Additionally, do you genuinely enjoy hanging out with people? Or are you just doing it to please others? Live for yourself, I say. If you truly enjoy being a vidya geek, why not be one? Your happiness is more important than opinions of friends and family.

Nigger do you know the meaning of the word "balance"? You don't have to "kill the nerd", to keep being social, videogames and cartoons don't make you an autistic lonely sadboy by themselves. You can play games, watch cartoons, lose yourself in fantasy once in a while and have a healthy social life at the same time. You just have to stop obsessing over an activity or goal to the point where you ignore everything else.

What I don't understand is why do you want to escape from the real world so badly? I guess you assumed it was because you were a lonely nerd, but you're implying that you're not one anymore, so what is the reason? You should try to figure that out. Could it be that you find no pleasure in your current life and you don't really enjoy the company of the people you surrounded yourself with?

Besides, you seem to have it even worse now than before, when you were into all that nerdy shit. At least back then you had something to "escape" reality. So why do you keep clinging to this "normie" life if it brought you no happiness? Why do you reject the things that brought you pleasure for something that brought you nothing?

>>18401219
>You honestly can't just play a game one weekend and party the next?

It's just mentally exhausting to go from being super immersed in the plot of a final fantasy game one day and then go put on a facade and talk with Stacy about bullshit the next.

>>18401225
I don't know what it is but, at least with family, I feel like I "owe" them something in terms of who I am. My parents invested time and money into me to be an outgoing successful well adjusted dude not a nerd who is a an epic paladin. I'd feel guilty if I only lived for myself and only pursued my hobbies and said fuck everyone else and I don't know why

>>18401204
The nerd is who you are. He who embraces his truth is the most powerful man in the world.

Your social gains are not real without truth. Indulge, and seek happiness through truth.

>>18401243
>You just have to stop obsessing over an activity or goal to the point where you ignore everything else.

That's a personality flaw of mine, working on it.

>Could it be that you find no pleasure in your current life and you don't really enjoy the company of the people you surrounded yourself with?

Yep yep yep.

>So why do you keep clinging to this "normie" life if it brought you no happiness? Why do you reject the things that brought you pleasure for something that brought you nothing?

Because of the whole "millennials aren't ready for the real" world shit or the red pill "look at life for what it really is" theme.

Right now I have it in my mind that the normie shit that brings me no pleasure is what the Real World is really like. In the real word there's no extra lives, no health bars, no one clear objective and final boss, just varying shades of grey, normal people going about their lives and real bitter lessons to learn about human nature. There's no epic music, just Kesha.

To go agrainst the grain and not hide behind a screen I've tried to put myself out there but I'm not gonna lie I'm bored and miserable 99% of the time. I just thought me being miserable was just some sort of withdrawal symptom from years of being stimulated by a screen- at least that's what all the psychologists and 'experts' say nowadays

>>18401249
1) You owe your parents a happy son, and 2) Personal success will only come when you begin to live for yourself. 1 will follow if you achieve 2.

>>18401303
Replying to my own post to follow up on that, I was just like you, and turned my love of vidya into a software engineer job. Literally so many of my coworkers went through the exact same thing.

You don't sound stupid and you don't sound lazy, so that sounds like a totally reasonable path for you. Just to get you on the right track, try and look for things (or even other people) in the real world that will make you enjoy your hobby more.

>>18401272
For you it is irrelevant what the real world is. Frankly, we have no clue what the world really is. No one does. We assume a lot of things, but we know nothing. All we have is a bunch of "experts" shaming or fear mongering you into believing the things they want you the believe, acting how they want you to act and thinking how they want you to think.

So what should matter for you is your subjective world. This is where your happiness, satisfaction and pleasure comes from, not from their "real world". Don't lose contact with the outside world, listen to other opinions and beliefs, but when it comes to your happiness filter everything through your own experience. How else can you decide if something makes you happy?

I'll be honest here, I don't think you can be truly happy by loosing yourself in fantasy. But you can have some of the most pleasurable, intense and satisfying moments in your life through fantasy. And there's nothing stopping you from combining reality with fiction. There shouldn't even be a distinction here, really. When you feel like focusing on your social life and talking to people do that. When you feel like staying home reading fiction do that. It's that simple.

And I think there is a pretty obvious reason why you don't enjoy the normie life. Because you fake it. You know how every self-development guru tells you to "just bee yourself"? Well despite this becoming a meme they're right, if you just fake your personality you will be miserable. You will find yourself in the company of people you dislike, talking about things you have no interests in, doing things you hate.

(cont)

>>18401388

Stop trying to hide your interests and stop pretending you like things you actually don't. Stop trying to befriend and hanging with people you don't like. Be honest and open with the people around you and you will draw people whose company you will enjoy. Or maybe you won't draw anybody. But that's better than forcing yourself to spend your time with people you dislike doing things you dislike pretending to be someone you dislike.

I'm going to say this again. Because it's really important. You don't have to act like a "normie" (whatever you believe that might mean) in order to have friends and a fulfilling social life. In fact you CAN'T have a fulfilling social life if you're faking your personality and hobbies. Those happy people who go out, talk about celebrities and brag about how much puss they've slain last week are happy not because they do all that, but because they're true to themselves (those who are at least. Others simply have been baited in this life, kind of like you).

I'm not saying you should give up on all your acquaintances, play vidya and read fantasy and never leave your room, but you should stop "putting up a facade and talk to Stacy". You can talk to Stacy without putting up a facade and if she doesn't like you, too bad, move on. But from my experience the more honest and open you are, the more people will like you, even if youre into some nerdy weird shit. Trying to only tell them what they want to hear will make you look needy and boring.

And you may find out that they're a lot more like you when you open up. People tend to talk only about "socially acceptable" subjects and hide many of their passions because they're scared of judgement and rejection. But a lot more people have "nerdy" or "weird" hobbies than you would think. I wouldn't be that surprised if your Stacy is a massive fucking weeb or a nerd obsessed with western fantasy who's faking a basic bitch personality because she wants to be accepted by society.

>>18401204
Dude if you hate your normie life and loved the nerd life, why the fuck would you want to kill "the nerd you"?

just keep your social gains and physical GAINZ and have as much fun as you want being a geek and just go out and socialize as well. Be chill about it and be confident about it and do the things you love.

>>18401249
>It's just mentally exhausting to go from being super immersed in the plot of a final fantasy game one day and then go put on a facade and talk with Stacy

So Stacy exists and isn't a character in your final fantasy?

Anyway I have no idea how people do it, I really tried to like these JRPG but the vast majority of them have unoriginal linear generic plot and the game itself is way to simplistic to enjoy any aspect of them. It's like you play one you play them all. And surprisingly even if that isn't true and once in a blue moon some game has an original idea the best it could do is to draw me in during the first 30 minutes.