Romantic interest won't stop drinking/lying?

>>18400712

When things were going great and she was sober, we could have deep conversations, talk about so much and really connect. But whenever she touched alcohol; she turned into this insane party girl monster and just lashed out and abused herself. Every-time I try to talk about her drinking and the demons chasing her, she refuses and tells me that she "doesn't do feelings". But then once she told me while we cruised together, how she had raped while passed out with her friend and that she couldn't do anything because the guy and his friends, took turns on her and her friend just slept. It shattered my heart, but I still cared for her.

What do I do? I've never had a serious girlfriend(as in all the way to sex) and I am terrified that she just wants to sleep with me and then run away. My friend told me that she cheated on her ex and that's been bothering me as well. I really care for her and she can pretty herself up really nice...but what's the point if she doesn't care for herself? She looks great, but can I build anything with her?

tl;dr: Really like a friend, but she won't stop drinking/going to bars and doing self destructive things. Refuses to deal with her drinking problem and gets angry when drunk/blames her problems on the liquor. All my friends are telling me to run and that she's a red flag circus, but I don't want to abandon her. I like her, but I don't know if this is too much for my first girlfriend?

In the end you will find only pain in that girl. Trust your brain and not your heart in this case.

>>18400712
You know the answer but don't want to accept it. This girl is not the right one for you. This drinking is a real problem and you cannot change people. While the drinking is a convenient excuse for the slutty behavior, I don't buy it. I've known alcoholics and ppl with drinking problems that never did that shit. To me, it's a convenient excuse to act in a manner that she really desires but can't do while sober because she's too inhibited. Move on because you'll only be miserable.

>>18400712
She's an alcoholic and you're a damn fool to stick around for more bullshit. Save yourself and get the hell out.

>>18401120
And what if she changes? She told me that I mean a lot to her and knows I don't like her drinking and hurting herself. Can't I reach her?

>>18401342
People don't change until hard circumstances in their life force them to. You're hanging around hoping she'll change and be that perfect girl for you because frankly, you don't have any other options. If you had a healthy social circle with plenty of worthy women and the confidence to go after them would you still be stuck on her? You'll probably say yes but no you wouldn't. You're stuck on her because you don't have options and trying to smooth over obvious red flags. I've known girls who drink a bit more than I like but even with shitfaced they don't abuse people or cheat. You need to move on and I think you know you do.

>>18401342
also

>comes to work drunk
>drives drunk
>cheated on an ex
>told you she loved you while having sex with other people
>insults people using her drunkenness as an excuse (like a coward)

As far as the insults, I've found that people who talk shit about other people will talk shit about you as soon as you cross over to their bad side. I recently fell for a girl who tends to drink too much. While we were bonding, she told me about everyone in her life and the common theme is they always treated her wrong. She never talked about the positive aspects of them and the good things they did for her, she was always a victim. When things didn't work out between us, not only did she drop me like a hot potato but guess who became the newest addition to her long list of victimizers. You've developed feelings without really knowing this girl and let your logical mind take a backseat, but one day the honeymoon will be over. Is this someone you could see yourself living with on the long term?

Hello op, very honest femanon here.I know what she is doing.
Basically she is keeping you as the safespace backup, she saw that she can do everything she wants and you still accept her, so she is starting to abuse it, as if she feels entitled to it.You're like her little puppy, if she loved you she wouldn't sleep with other guys.
Drinking is not the problem, other people dance when drinking, your girl is just expressing her inner hoe.
She is definitely not girlfriend material and won't change for you, she is in her own world.And i must say that after all that advice telling you to let her be, if you still stick around and not listen to your friends, you fucking deserve to be broken by that girl.
Stop being a cuck.

>>18401453
I am without options right now to be honest...her friend told me that she had been "exploring her options" too though and that I was at the top of her list. And I've seen her running around with other guys/been told that she's doing so by a close friend(which again, soured me on her). What does that mean?