how to mentally deal with backtalking

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Hey guys...I'm an autist girl that just doesn't like it when people shit talk anyone behind their backs. That, and I've protected people against bullies before so...I guess I'm an oversensitive white-knight wuss.

So, today, I sperged.

I'm in college and living in a all-female apartment. I get along with B, D, and J. M? I don't know. J due to some personal difficulties had to drop out of this quarter this week and finally M - who's only here twice a week - started bitching about J.

>M - who kept on saying that "good type of crazy" to J's face and that she loved her - said that she fuckin hated J and her "laziness" and how she wasted her parents' money, that she'd scream at J if she ever saw her again
>M parties instead of doing her homework, failed her last quarter and wastes her parents' money like J (like going to high-end stores and spending thousands of dollars) did so she's just as bad (sorry for shit-talking her here though)
>D and B also joins in the bitching circle jerk

>sat in my room trying to do my work, confused and vaguely distressed by what I was hearing
>J was diagnosed with chronic depression which is why she had trouble getting out of bed for days at a time
>J's a little sassy, a bit of a tomboy, but is always kind, honest, helpful (when you ask) and genuinely has never done anything wrong to any one of us

She wasn't perfect. But I admired her. There was a reason why she had so many friends despite having so many personal demons and health issues.

So, later, I talked to B about it.
>Me: didn't you like J too? When we had that suicide scare, we cried together about her
>Me: I mean...it's kind of two-faced that you guys did that...
>B: you think so? well, we all have our opinions
and
>B: haha I dunno what to say

Later on I apologized and B felt bad for what she did--so, yeah, we made up. I'm glad. But I just feel so stupid...
Is it wrong to be so sensitive to such things? How should you react to such a situation? Apathetically?