GRILLLLLS

Can you trust a girl?

More context.. I feel like it doesn't add up but thats because Im use to different.

Shes very innocent or at least plays it that way, and a tad simple, though she a lot older, has been in one loveless relationship but nothing since.

We all like attention right? She never shows that, however sometimes I feel like she has wandering eyes. I wonder what she does for attention a part from me? Or maybe I'm wrong?

I'm always putting scenarios in my head about her having the opportunities to do something behind my back but I've never been in a serious relationship. Is this because I don't trust her, or based on me?

Do I listen to what my gut tells me or is it just me worried about getting fucked over?

bump, I really want to settle my mind, it plays on it a lot. Thanks anyway that can give me advice, if I can help with anything I will.

>>18399473
Why are you paranoid about her having wandering eyes? What has given you any signs that this could be a problem?

>>18399613
to be honest man I think its me and that why I say I feel like I'm more possessive then anything. Like I notice a car will pull up when we are drive and she will look over at it but not a glance a full look, we will be walking and its like shes looking at other people from time to time. I wonder if its her way of getting attention because part from that she is private except with me.

fuck man am I crazy, should I do her favor? I know it sounds it, but its there for me. I'm worried too that I'll get fucked over in the end.

>>18399623
So what you're saying is that you know that you could pull better, but are settling with her because you like her... but then it sounds like you're paranoid about her leaving you for better options when all she's done is look at other people without any hint of lust in her eye, only looked.

Maybe she's just a curious person? Not in the I need an upgrade way, but the I like to see what other people are doing way. This sounds like something you should talk to her about if it's causing you so much trouble.

>>18399641
no not better options, just out of promiscuity. She would make sure to keep me around, I just don't trust girls. I wouldn't talk to her about it, because then I'm showing way too much and I'd feel this play into her hand well.

thats the least of my concern anyway... I just feel like something is off, though she always trys to find a way to prove without doubt. She is very subtle in a way which leaves me feeling like I could probably not know, and not knowing is bringing me fear.

>>18399657
What's happened in your past to give you issues with this? How did you meet? Does she have a history of being promiscuous?

A good girl is hard to find.

If you find one and she's a 5 or a fucking 2 then you lock shit down, bruh.

I'm a playa--take my word on it.

>>18399719
Not a lot, never really been in a relationship.
Met through some work I was doing at a church she went too. She doesn't frequent church, but she told me something about the work I was doing and from there we hit it off. Honestly looks like she was looking for someone.

No history that I'm aware off, she swears she never has done anything and has been innocent, though she moved to and from home. She doesn't have many friends, her closest friends are completely polar opposite though, they're rowdy and attention seeking. Very much me, me, me type of people and the girls seem a little promiscuous or at least seek a lot of validation.

IS there anyway to find these things out, especially if they're subtle?

Like obvious signs. Why am I feeling so jealous for no reason other then my own ideas or speculation?

I am somewhat invested in her, I cut all ties with every girls I've been with. I put a lot of time in her and I what it will do to me if its a waste.

>>18399723
thanks bruh, my mates tell me that too but how do you know they're actually good?

>>18399719
I really don't trust the things she tells me neither, like I feel there is always agendas or that its not what it seems despite having nothing to back it up or go off. I really just don't or can't trust. Yet when I'm with her its like everythings all good.

>>18399473
I find that I look around a lot at passing skanks but ir's fleeting, y'know? Like a sideshow. It's not important to me in the way that my girlfriend is to me. I think it's better to be able to trust someone. You need to talk to her and tell her your concerns. It sounds like you genuinely care about her as a person which is a WONDERFUL thing. Keep that up.

It's best to treat the illness of your relationship from within the relationship itself. I'm not in the relationship so I can't accurately prescribe any antidote to your alements. What you have to do is have a conversation with your girl in a good moment where you're both happy, and frame it in the context of love and acceptance so that she is more open minded to your end of the ordeal, and she's more likely to understand and listen to you. This will make her WANT to change her behavior any way that she can even if she downplays your concerns. Be strong and 100% honest. It's almost like stripping yourself nude and saying "look! This is what I've got! This is all of me! Take it or leave it."

>>18399792
such a solid reply, legend.

its just I don't know what to say, I feel like its kind of me. I don't trust her word but she gives me no reason too and we have talked about it but nothing has changed for me. Thers always a lingering feeling of nothing feeling right despite the care I do have. So what do I say or how do I say it especially if later down the track Im not going to trust her anyway.

sorry bruhs I feel lost, feel like giving up and that I'm not cut out for this love shit. Sometimes I just want to be alone because I feel vulnerable as fuck, but then I think about how week I sound saying shit like this. I just wish I didn't give a fuck.

>>18399803
The fact that she has you feeling as vulnerable as she does is actually a pretty good sign. Some people don't usually react well to vulnerability though, so it's something that you'll have to work on yourself. You're really going to have to talk to her yourself in a way that doesn't make you seem insecure. There's no reason why you shouldn't be totally honest with her about all of this.
Why not ask her with mild curiosity and a smile who she's looking for when you see it next then sweetly pry information without seeming mean? Be cute, dumbass. We melt for that.

>>18399859
you seem well rounded! We have talked about it, I'm everything to her and I don't doubt that. She worried I will walk away which probably translates to me as she will tell me what I want to hear. See how I just can't help but assume the worse its fucked up and I was worried its unhealthy you know? To me I'm never vulnerable so its not a good sign. Why you here anyway?

>>18399657
You sound crazy

The fact she is less attractive than you makes you really dear being cheated on

>>18399888
damn, I hope I get what you're saying but I agree. I think im incapable of doing this shit, she isn't unattractive just nothing special. Its true though it just makes me think she would take any opportunity she can get under her belt, and the fact shes not exactly up there makes it worse for me as it should be reverse but isn't because she honestly seems more stable at times then me.

I'm ending it slowly but it won't go on I guess thats life you either got it or don't.

>>18399874
She may tell you what you want to hear, or maybe she's just going to tell you what she feels. There's no way for you to know for sure, so don't sit there and go over it in your head over and over again. When you like someone a lot it can make you a little insecure because you're brain wants to make conflict where there isn't any. Just distract yourself from it, keep communication as open as possible, and try to enjoy yourself and your relationship with her. You sound like you could be on the cusp of falling in love and there's no reason not to, don't sabotage yourself.
Honestly? Curiosity. Reading about problems that others have and seeing if I can offer a different perspective.

>>18399919
appreciate it, I will be open but I'm convinced that its in the best interest for me to go so any opportunity that arises I will take it out of the fact I don't like the position Im in. To me that feeling outweighs any wants that I might have.