I'm supposed to move to another country from a Balkan country

File: yexf.jpg (18KB, 656x335px)

18KB, 656x335px

I'm supposed to move to another country from a Balkan country in 2 days. I wanted to move cuz it felt like there were gonna be more opportunities than in my poor country.

I spent a year and a half studying the language, and have gotten decent enough to get accepted into a uni abroad. I'm 20 now and I'm supposed to start in October.

Thing is, I've had depression for a long time now because I'm ugly. So I thought, why not go abroad, enrol into uni and work a side job while studying and inbetween the semesters to save up cash for surgeries?

Back then this sounded like a good idea, we're not rich and my mom won't be able to pay for my surgeries. But I actually went to the country of interest and lived there for 2 months in a shared apartment, and got to experience the city. This is when my mind changed.

I couldn't find a job in 2 months and was also lonely during that time. And I will absolutely need a job once I move to finance myself, since my mum won't be able to support me on her own.
A roommate put me into contact with one of his friends, and I'm supposed to move into his place once he's moved out.

I need to make a decision
>I really need to save up money for surgeries, but I can't get a job in my own country (not even adults with a diploma can, lack of workplaces), so I should move for the time being, but

>I don't think I'm capable of handling depression, working in a foreign language I'm not fluent in while having to study engineering in a foreign language, and being lonely, separated from my family. I think I'll go insane desu, and I fear the worst happening.

So, I really need the money, but I also need to keep my sanity, and in the end I don't really want to move, I could go to university in a city that is 30mins by train from my own, and stay with my family and in the comfort of my home, without having to work while studying (nor even being able to), but not being able to save any money, and continue beating myself daily over my ugliness.